Miami Vice

Miami Vice was an American television show that followed the adventures of two Miami police detectives working undercover, James "Sonny" Crockett and Ricardo "Rico" Tubbs, that ran for five seasons on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The USA Network broadcasted one unaired "missing" episode after season five.

Det. James "Sonny" Crockett

• [describing his ex-wife] She left me at Sears, and had me cryin' all the way to Walgreens.
• I don't believe you for a New York minute.
• It's like taking nose candy off a baby.

Izzy Moreno

• You know what they say about architecture, it's like frozen music.
• I thought we were going to have a meaningful diabolical time.
• In this life the low road sometimes takes you to a more interesting route.

Others

• Melody: All I know about you is you drive a Testarossa and live in a boat.
• Stan Switek: Do you think that guy practices at being a tubesteak?

Recurring quotes

Det. James "Sonny" Crockett: Hey, Tubbs, you ever consider a career in Southern law enforcement?

Det. Ricardo "Rico" Tubbs [chuckles]: Maybe. Maybe...

---

Det. James "Sonny" Crockett: Knowing the answers doesn't make it easier, does it?

Det. Ricardo "Rico" Tubbs: In this job you're lucky if it doesn't make it harder.

---

Trudy Joplin: Hey, handsome, why don't you buy me a drink?

Ex-ranger Jake Pierson: Because I wasn't born yesterday.

"Freeze! Miami Vice!"-Crockett

Season 1

Brother's Keeper (1.1)

Caroline Crockett: You're all players, Sonny. You get high on the action.

---

Crockett: [on them working together] Well, I don't know how this is gonna work, Tubbs. I mean, uh, you're not exactly up my alley--style and personawise. Heaven knows I'm no box of candy. But with all things considered, I think we may have to consider some type of... temporary working relationship.

---

Tubbs: Crockett. James "Sonny" Crockett.

Crockett: Very good, Tubbs. Next week we'll work on your name.

Tubbs: University of Florida. All-American wide receiver number 88? Am I right or what?

Crockett: Oh, that was a long time ago.

Tubbs: You were sensational. I remember one time I watched you run a screen pass 90 yards with 10 seconds left on the clock, man, for the winning TD against Alabama.

Crockett: It was 92 yards, Tubbs. Six seconds remaining.

Tubbs: Yeah, well, excuse the hell outta me. You know, not that Vice isn't the most glamorous gig in the world, Crockett, but what happened, huh? I mean, you must have had half the scouts in the NFL on your tail.

Crockett: Traded it all in on two years in the Southeast Asian Conference.

Tubbs: 'Nam?

Crockett: No, Coney Island.

---

Scottie: Six months ago some guy comes up to me in Little Havana. Hands me a suitcase. He says, "Compliments of Mr. Calderone." Nothing else. Just compliments. I didn't even open the damn thing for two weeks. Sonny--

Crockett: How much? How much to buy you, Scottie?

Scottie: 70 grand. The calls from DeSoto started about a month later. Information. That's all they wanted was information.

Crockett: Information?

Scottie: I tried to pull out at least a dozen times, but it was too late. I mean, I never expected anyone to get killed.

Crockett: They changed the game plan on us, Scott. Is it still goin' down tonight?

Scottie: Yeah.

Crockett: Where?

Scottie: You gotta help me, man. You gotta help me, man. I got a family. [Cop cars pull up] I got 15 years as a stand-up cop.

Crockett: Where? Where?!

Scottie: I got two medals of valor! I took a bullet for you, for God's sakes! [sighs] They're runnin' a sports fishing boat out of Keys Marina. The drop-off's up river.

Crockett: Am I, uh, am I missing something here, or what, Scottie? I don't get it. I don't understand this. You were my partner. I had you and Donna and the kids over to dinner, what, 20 or 30 times. [angry] Thanksgiving, birthdays. I trusted you! [grabs Scottie's throat] I trusted you, you bastard! I trusted you! [Tubbs pulls Crockett away as Scottie cries]

---

Crockett: Hey, Tubbs. You ever consider a career in southern law enforcement?

Tubbs: Maybe. [chuckles] Maybe.

Heart of Darkness (1.2)

Artie Rollins: Am I dealing with something here I can't handle? I mean, you two are just a couple of, high-rollin' cowboys from Jersey with a briefcase full of cash.....isn't that right detectives?

Cool Runnin' (1.3)

Crockett: Tubbs, that was $28.95!

Tubbs: I hope he likes the local waters.

---

Noogie: Fella by the name of Desmond Maxwell. A Jamaican dude.

Chump: What's in it for me?

Noogie: Well, if you come across anything, a hundred bucks and a brand-new VCR.

Chump: Front loaded?

Noogie: You know that, homeboy.

---

Noogie: Yo, man, I'm gettin' a little rusty around the edges. I need a little pick-me-up. You know I got a friendly right around the corner.

Tubbs: You wanna get high?

Noogie: Well, you know, it serves the purpose. You understand what I'm sayin'? What's up?

Crockett: Listen, little squirrel, we don't work our informants that way, you got it?

Noogie: All right. Forget I said anything.

Tubbs: Great. Buggy ride with a damn junkie.

Noogie: Yo, man, I ain't no junkie. I'm a speed freak.

One Eyed Jack (1.6)

Vincent "Vinnie" Marco: If Miami hasn't got it, they haven't invented yet.

Glades (1.9)

Billie Joe Higgins: You let me out of here, or she's dead.

Crockett: You don't walk out of here with that child.

Billie Joe Higgins: If I twitch, she's gone.

Crockett: Maybe you won't even twitch.

Little Prince (1.11)

Crockett: I just love it when you poor little rich kids slip up twice. You know why? 'Cause then you're just like everybody else.

Milk Run (1.12)

Tubbs: Although that's a reasonable possibility, seein' that 95% of all these deals are rip-offs.

Crockett: Tubbs,you don't think that these obviously experienced professionals here are gonna fall for a rip-off.

---

Louis: Look, we're partners, right? And if you're too scared to make this deal, we're still partners. Just don't ever tell me you're too scared to dream, man.

---

Crockett: What about it, Tubbs? When do I get the grand tour of the Big Apple?

Tubbs: As soon as I think you can handle it, partner.

---

Louis: Hey, no wonder people deal drugs around here.

Golden Triangle: Part I (1.13)

Candy: Just keep me as your number one lady. Promise?

Crockett: You ain't my number one nothing toots. You hiccup funny and you're right back here.

Candy: Oh, I love it when you scold me.

Crockett: My advice to you is after this is done, vacate Miami.

Candy: Hey, that's real nice. A girl could always use some friendly advice.

Rites of Passage (1.16)

Crockett: Technical difficulties, guys?

Switek: Nah, we're just working some of the bugs out of the system.

---

Switek: We're gonna give 'em a buzz.

Zito: Maybe it's a short circuit.

Tubbs: Maybe it's possessed.

---

Crockett: I don't know, there's something scary about the concept of Switek and Zito doing roach removal. Like it's a conflict of interest or something.

---

Crockett: People in stucco houses shouldn't throw quiche.

The Maze (1.17)

Raul: There's something I don't understand. You people got all this room back there, so many that you don't even have to see each other if you don't want to, but you're always fighting over one little place in the back. For what?

Made For Each Other (1.18)

[Switek and Zito catch Izzy trying to rob store]

Izzy: I'm no criminal. I mean, I never been convicted. I have a few indictments, man, but [Izzy strikes the counter with a tire iron] I'm a man of no convictions.

---

Izzy: Hey, we Hispanics don't know the meaning of danger, but we're very familiar with the word COM-PEN-SA-TION.

---

Izzy: You’re talking to a man who has withstood the finest interrogation techniques…electrical, mechanical, psychological…philosophical, European, domestic, commercial.

The Home Invaders (1.19)

Lady: Excuse me, please. Can I help you?

Crockett: Yeah, we'd like to see Benny.

Lady: Benny ain't here.

Castillo: Find him, please. We'll wait.

Lady: Find him?! What do I look like, a tour guide?

Crockett: Just find him! We'll talk about what you look like later.

Nobody Lives Forever (1.20)

Gina: Where's your partner?

Tubbs: I think he went to the dentist.

Gina: Who's got the toothache, Crockett or Brenda?

Tubbs: Look here, Toyotas, Datsuns, Hondas. Even crooks are looking for good gas mileage.

Gina: Who's got the toothache, Crockett or Brenda?

Tubbs: I make it a point not to keep tabs on my partner's social register.

---

Gina: I went to Raimando's last week. Remember Nick, the maître d'?

Crockett: Yeah, how is Slick Nick?

Gina: He misses you. I promised him I'd bring you by this weekend.

Crockett: Uh, this weekend, um..

Gina: But if you're in the mood for some home cooking, that could be arranged too.

Crockett: Gina, this weekend's gonna be a little rough.

Gina: You just keep me around for an occasional pit stop until something better comes around. Feels really great, let me tell you, Sonny.

Crockett: Gina, that's not fair.

Gina: That's right. It's not fair at all. Just stay out of my life.

---

Brenda: How do you go from this tranquility to that violence?

Crockett: I usually take the Ferrari.

Evan (1.21)

Kern: New Bren-10's pretty nice, eh Burnett?

Crockett: It's all right.

Kern: Got the Eagle inside, you want to try it?

Crockett: Some other time, Kern.

Kern: Haven't seen you in a while.

Crockett: Been pretty busy.

Kern: Still keeping in touch with the Cazadores?

Crockett: That bunch of daisies? [laughs scornfully] I'm putting together a whole new group of people. Men that take life seriously.

Crockett: 200 miles out there, there's men sitting in nuclear submarines just waiting to put us in their crosshairs. Who's gonna protect us, mister? The Army? They're a bunch of toy soldiers. Half-breds! Women! Homosexuals! That's who is protecting our country!

Season 2

Prodigal Son (2.1)

Crockett: Vietnam, Cambodia, Colombia, Puerto Rico, Bahamas, Everglades. Bet I've soaked up more swamp than Elvis.

Tubbs: Look on the bright side of things, man. At least nobody's trying to make shoes out of you. Yet.

---

Tubbs: [over the phone] That's TUBBS: Tough, Unique, Bad, Bodacious, Sassy.

---

Crockett: If the supplier can't deliver...

Tubbs: Then Rivillas' customers start to shiver.

Whatever Works (2.2)

Tubbs: Hey you, you're out of your jurisdiction, you're out of your league, and you don't live in the neighborhood, so keep it moving! Chumps!

Out Where the Buses Don't Run (2.3)

Crockett: This guy is a nut case.

Tubbs: Yeah? Maybe he even keeps a pet alligator at his place of residence.

---

Weldon: Please, say hello to Lorraine.

Tubbs: Big deal. A computer. Every 12-year-old kid in Miami has one.

The Dutch Oven (2.4)

Gallo: [Talking to Gina] Ninety percent of all cops never discharge their weapons. They go about their jobs, nobody gets hurt. Then there's the cowboy. [Turns to Crockett] How many shooting hearings have you had? Ten? How many men have died?

Crockett: Only the bad guys, Gallo.

Junk Love (2.6)

Crockett: The secret to success, whether it's women or money, is knowing when to quit. I oughta know: I'm divorced and broke.

Bushido (2.8)

CIA agent Carter: My name is Carter, and I don't like you. And I don't care about your crummy little drug deals. I don't care about Herrera, and I don't care about the half million.

Castillo: Well, you must care about something. You look nervous.

Bought and Paid For (2.9)

Izzy: Your partner looks like kinda intense today.

Switek: I haven't seen him like this since 1983, when he chased a guy who stole a hubcap from the bug van.

Izzy: Have we already had the scene where I ask what this is all about and you say, "Shut up, we ask the questions".

Switek: I don't know, did we, Lar?

---

Trudy: I wonder what the price of silence is in Haiti.

---

Octavio Arroyo: To what do I owe this pleasure?

Gina: I wanted to see how you chill out after a rape.

Back in the World (2.10)

Dakota: These days money comes from all kinds of places.

Det. Ricardo "Rico" Tubbs: Yeah, well, my money comes from my pocket. Now do you wanna do business?

Phil the Shill (2.11)

Izzy: "What are you doing wearing those brow shoes?! This party is color cooperated!"

Definitely Miami (2.12)

Det. James "Sonny" Crockett: I hate the waiting, feel like a character in a Becket play.

Det. Ricardo "Rico" Tubbs: Since when do you know Becket?

Det. James "Sonny" Crocket: Charlie Becket, works down at the shoeshine, writes plays on the side.

---

Tubbs: She’s too conservative for you.

Crockett: I get these occasional urges for stability in my life.

---

Det. Ricardo "Rico" Tubbs: [during a heat wave] Man, I can dig tropical, but this is out of bounds.

Det. James "Sonny" Crockett: You just got to learn to go with the heat, Rico. It's just like life. You just gotta keep telling yourself, no matter how hot it gets, sooner or later there's a cool breeze coming in.

Det. Ricardo "Rico" Tubbs: Should I write that down?

---

Poolside Bartender: Hot enough for ya ?

Charlie"(Ted Nugent): Yea, it's going to be a real killer.

---

Crockett: Man, it's so hot you could fry an egg on my face.

Tubbs: Hope I never get that hungry.

---

Crockett: The head and the heart Rico,just once I'd like to get them together.

---

Dalva: You guys have really got it easy down here – tropical climate, beautiful scenery, laid back place – I could really get used to this

---

Crockett: The better you get at this job, the more dangerous it becomes.

---

Crockett: Nice to know there's still a little poetry left in the world.

Yankee Dollar (2.13)

Zito: Hurry up.

Switek: Look, it's just a cartoon.

Zito: 101 Dalmatians ain't just a cartoon... Any more than Blue Suede Shoes is just a song.

One Way Ticket (2.14)

Crockett: [to Thurmond] What did you do, trade in your conscience when you passed the bar?

---

Crockett: Do you think that makes us even?

Laurence Thurmond: No, not at all. It was just the best I had to offer.

Crockett: Aw, the hell with it. You want to be dead? [makes gun with his hand] Bang, you're dead.

---

Crockett: Okay Tommy, what's the story this time?

Tommy: Sonny boy, are you familiar with the expression.. "A carburetor is like a good woman"?

Crockett: Tommy.

Tommy: A carburetor is like a good woman, because if you don't make constant delicate adjustments, she'll choke you to death. I adjusted your carbs and I did some other stuff, and the ticket's on the front seat.

Crockett: Wait a minute. What other stuff?

Tommy: Sonny, when did I ever, ever, ever overcharge you?

Crockett: How the hell should I know? You're the only one that works on this car!

Tommy: I'm the best, Sonny, it's a fact.

Crockett: Tommy? You rang? $600?

Tommy: You want to know something, Crockett? Not if it's gonna cost me another $600. I'm doing pretty much the same work on this car here, but this car belongs to a rich lawyer. I'm charging him more. Fair, but more. And if you tell him, I'll kill you.

The Fix (2.18)

Crockett: Damn, these birds are noisy. At least, they're not in a cage, sort of a natural habitat.

Tubbs: Kind of like an alligator in a sailboat.

Season 3

El Viejo (3.7)

Crockett: You know what I like about you, Rickles? Not a damn thing [points] Backstroke.

Cuba Libre (3.14)

Crockett: You gotta know the rules before you break 'em. Otherwise, it's no fun.

Theresa (3.16)

Crockett: Lot of hiss.

Switek: What do you want, CD quality? I'm workin' with 10-year-old depositions.

Lend Me An Ear (3.18)

• Tubbs: This is America you need to be in debt, only way banks can get money back.

Red Tape (3.19)

Tubbs: Well, I'll tell you one thing, Jack. They'd have jumped on this like white on rice in New York, they'd have never let this leak get this far. Never.

Castillo: S.I.D.'s handling the leak, Rico. End of discussion.

Tubbs: Well, until S.I.D. Finishes their investigation, I'm not workin'. 'Cause nobody's gonna scrape this body off this pavement or off of some dealer's doorstep! Nobody!

Castillo: Go home, Rico. Get cleaned up. File a report. Be back in my office by 4:00 p.m. Pick up your new assignment.

Tubbs: Or what?

Castillo: Or take a suspension.

Tubbs: Well, I'll do you one better. I'd rather be playing the lottery in New York City, than Russian roulette in Miami. I quit.

---

Tubbs: Dig. I am leaving this job, I am leaving this town, and I don't have time for "standard procedure".

Bank servant: And I don't have time for your life story. Read the procedure. Next.

Tubbs: So this is your display case?

Tubbs: I want my damn money! And I want it now!

By Hooker By Crook (3.20)

Crockett: First a junkie, now a hooker. I think I've been in the business too long, I'm starting to fall for the players.

Season 4

Amen... Send Money (4.2)

Faye Nell: The devil was in my hand, and the devil got into my whole body, and what can you do when the devil's in your body? What could I do? The devil was in this body!

Crockett: Amen.

---

Crockett: Oh, good. Good. He's flipped. He's done.

Tubbs: How can you tell that? Hey, Reverend Mather!

Mason Mather: Back! Back, devils! I have been called to him. I have been called to His bosom. Oh, Lord, I have been called to him.

Tubbs: Look, come on down and we'll talk about it!

Mason Mather: I am through with this vale of tears.

Crockett: Uh, Reverend

Mason Mather: I am no longer of this Earth, I am above these mere mortals.

Crockett: Uh, Reverend, what do you say my partner comes on up there and talks to you for for just five minutes. Huh? What do you say?

Mason Mather: Take me from this evilness. Take me from this wicked Earth.

Crockett: No, huh? What do you think I oughta do, go down and call the fire department, tell 'em we got a jumper?

Tubbs: No, we don't have time. They broadcast paramedics and medivac as far as Fort Lauderdale from there. That tower's got 10,000 watts of power. Somebody just keys a mic inside.

Crockett: How do you know all that?

Tubbs: Night school. There is life after Vice.

Child's Play (4.5)

Tubbs: Before you go out here and do your John Wayne, just remember that you owe me.

Crockett: What do you mean, owe you?

Tubbs: You owe me your life. Your presence in that seat, man. Look, I love you, man. You know, I don't want to go out here, and have to say a speech about the short but meaningful life of one Sonny Crockett, in front of a collection of family and friends. You know the first thing I thought was, If he's gone, who gets the car?

Like a Hurricane (4.8)

Caitlin: What's your fantasy relationship, Crockett? Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am, then the chick turns into a TV set so you can watch Monday Night Football?

Crockett: So glad I got this assignment. You're such a nice person.

---

Crockett: Every time I hear one of you rock stars start crying the blues about that lonely life on the road, it makes me want to throw up.

Caitlin: I suppose you know all about it.

Crockett: No, I don't know nothing. I'm just a dumb cop.

---

Tommy Lowe: What is this, heavy metal?

---

Crockett: I've got a kid.

Caitlin: What flavor?

Crockett: Boy, Billy. He's eight.

Caitlin: So, uh.. When do I get to meet him?

Crockett: Do you know what it means?

Caitlin: I ain't afraid of no kid.

Indian Wars (4.15)

Vieques: Hey, 6 minutes never killed anybody.

Castillo: I can kill 20 men in 6 minutes.

Season 5

Line of Fire (5.6)

Keith Mollis: Causes and protests, man. That's just like lame stuff from the '60s.

Crockett: Yeah, idealism is for fat girls with guitars right?

Keith: You got it.

---

Keith: Paraffin seal. Nice work.

Crockett: How do you know about that?

Keith: Oh, we used to chuck them at Metallica concerts. Just kidding.

---

Keith: Ripping, man.

Tubbs: We even brought you some ammo.

Keith: Anthrax, Megadeth, Crumbsuckers...

Crockett: Yeah.

Keith: Honestly? You like this stuff, Crockett?

Crockett: Honestly? All my favorites.

Too Much, Too Late (5.20)

Tubbs: So how you feeling?

Yvonne: Great. This is how I get my kicks.

---

Valerie: It's too late for us, isn't it?

Tubbs: Woman...

Valerie: I'm sorry, Rico. I'm so very sorry.

Freefall (5.21)

Tubbs: Yeah, social life in the '80s, isn't it a kick?

---

Andrew Baker: Hey, what the hell have you done?

Tubbs: Just swatted an insect. You got a problem with it?

Baker: Yeah, I got a problem. Borbon was working for us. He was gonna give us names.

Crockett: But not the name, right Baker? This whole damn mess was a setup from the get.

Baker: What a couple of lightweights. What, do you think this is cops and robbers? It's not about your personal sense of justice.

Crockett: What's it about, Baker? Is it about protecting dictators and letting drug dealers go free? Is that it?

Baker: Take a look at the map, Crockett. Real estate's turning red all over this hemisphere. Your brand of law and order went out with Wyatt Earp. There's only two things that count, American interests and anything that's counter to 'em.

Tubbs: You're what's counter to it, Baker. You and all those slick deal-making lawyers.

Baker: I don't make policy. I enforce it.

Crockett: And cover it up when it goes wrong.

Baker: That's right, and I got carte blanche, babe. I could shoot you right now, easy. Pin it on Borbon. No one's ever gonna ask any questions.

Crockett: Do it. If you got the stones.

Baker: Hey, punk! Cowboy! I'm gonna have your badges for this. That's a promise! It's not over, Crockett.

Martin Castillo: You don't have to do this.

Crockett: It's been a long time coming, anyway.

Castillo: I'll back you.

Tubbs: Thanks, Lieutenant, but there's no other way.

Castillo: Think about this.

---

Crockett: What are you doing here? I figured you'd be halfway to New York by now.

Tubbs: Everything always takes longer than you think.

Crockett: Well, we had one hell of a run, didn't we, partner?

Tubbs: Yeah, we sure did, Sonny.

Crockett: So, you really gonna go back up to the big bad Bronx?

Tubbs: Yeah, it looks that way. How about you?

Crockett: I don't know. Somewhere further south. Somewhere where the water's warm and the drinks are cold and I don't know the names of the players. I'm gonna miss you, man.

Tubbs: I'm gonna miss you too, Sonny.

Crockett: Can I give you a ride to the airport?

Tubbs: Why not?

Crockett: In my stolen car.

Crockett: Hey, Tubbs, you ever consider a career in southern law enforcement?

Tubbs: Maybe. Maybe.

Main cast

• Don Johnson - Detective James "Sonny" Crockett
• Philip Michael Thomas - Detective Ricardo "Rico" Tubbs
• Edward James Olmos - Lieutenant Martin Castillo
• Gregory Sierra - Lieutenant Lou Rodriguez
• Saundra Santiago - Detective Gina Navarro Calabrese
• Olivia Brown - Detective Trudy "Big Booty" Joplin
• Michael Talbott - Stanley "Stan" Switek
• John Diehl - Detective Laurence "Larry" Zito

External links

• Miami Vice Pilot quotes at the Internet Movie Database
• Miami Vice quotes at the Internet Movie Database
• Miami Vice at TV.com
• Fansite with extensive Miami Vice Glossary