Life of Brian
From Wikiquote
(Redirected from Monty Python’s Life of Brian)
Life of Brian (1979) (aka Monty Python's Life of Brian) is a satirical film by the Monty Python comedy troupe about a man who is born at the same time as (and next door to) Jesus, and whose life parallels his.
- Reg: What Jesus blatantly fails to appreciate is that it's the meek who are the problem.
- Reg: But apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh-water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?
- Mandy: Now, you listen here: 'e's not the Messiah, 'e's a very naughty boy! Now, go away!
- Mr. Frisbee III: Cheer up, Brian. You know what they say:
Some things in life are bad.
They can really make you mad.
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle,
Don't grumble. Give a whistle.
And this'll help things turn out for the best. And...
[music]
Always look on the bright side of life.
- [The audience members at the back of the crowd are having trouble hearing the Sermon on the Mount.]
- Man: I think it was, "Blessed are the cheesemakers"!
- Gregory's wife: What's so special about the cheesemakers?
- Gregory: Well, obviously it's not meant to be taken literally. It refers to any manufacturers of dairy products.
- Brian: I'm not the Messiah!
- Arthur: I say you are, lord, and I should know... I've followed a few.
- Brian: ...Will you please listen? I'm not the Messiah! Do you understand? Honestly!
- Woman: Only the true Messiah denies his divinity!
- Brian: What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right, I am the Messiah!
- Crowd: He is! He is the Messiah!
- Brian: Now fuck off!
- [Silence]
- Arthur: How shall we fuck off, oh Lord?
- Nisus Wettus: Crucifixion?
- Mr. Cheeky: Ah, no. Freedom.
- Nisus Wettus: What?
- Mr. Cheeky: Eh, freedom for me. They said I hadn't done anything, so I can go free and live on an island somewhere.
- Nisus Wettus: Oh, oh that´s jolly good well. Off you go then.
- Mr. Cheeky: No, I'm only pulling your leg, it's crucifixion really!
- Nisus Wettus: [laughing] Oh, I see, very good. Well...
- Mr. Cheeky: Yes I know, out the door, one cross each, line on the left.
- [The members of "The People's Front of Judea" are sitting in the amphitheatre. Stan has just announced that he wants to be a woman and wants to be called "Loretta," and is explaining why.]
- Stan: I want to have babies.
- Reg: You want to have babies?!?!
- Stan: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
- Reg: But ... you can't HAVE babies!
- Stan: Don't you oppress me!
- Reg: I'm not oppressing you, Stan. You haven't got a womb! Where's the fetus gonna gestate? You gonna keep it in a box?
[edit] Taglines
- He isn't the Messiah. He is a very naughty boy.
