Mr. Sunshine is an American comedy television series, which premiered on ABC on February 9, 2011. The show stars Matthew Perry stars as Ben Donovan, the self-involved manager of a second-rate San Diego sports arena who begins to re-evaluate his life on his 40th birthday.
- (small child approaches Ben in the sky box)
- Boy: Excuse me, are you one of the players?
- Ben: Oh no, my job's much better big guy! You know what I do, is I'm in charge of this entire arena. Every night, 17,505 people come here expecting to have a good time, and I make sure they do!
- Boy: (with the same enthusiasm as before) Are you one of the players?
- Ben: (taken aback) What? I just tol...what the hell's the matter with you?
- Ben: Hey, you're the head maintence guy, right?
- Bobert: Yes.
- Ben: And your name is ... Bob --- Bobinson --- Bobert?
- Bobert: Yes.
- Ben: (surprised) Really? Your name is Bob Bobinson Bobert?
- Bobert: Two years ago you told me you only wanted to hear me say yes. It's tricky, because you don't always ask yes or no questions.
- Crystal: Now Alonzo, make sure you have a good mix of kids for the photo op. You know, black, white...the Himalayas are in Asia, right?
- Alonzo: (nods) Mmm-hmm.
- Crystal: Get me an Asian kid. Oh! And I'm gonna need some kind of a trophy. Have the Asian child hand me some kind of a trophy! (claps)
- Ben: You're right to clap, because these are all very strong ideas.
- Alonzo: So, how is your new assistant working out?
- Ben: Oh, Heather? Ah...She's great. Thank you for her by the way. Always on time, very sweet. Remind me again though, what did she do? She...she lit a man on fire?
- Alonzo: There was an investigation. The evidence was inconclusive. Ah...yes.
- Ben: But...the guy's okay though, right?
- Alonzo: Well she did light him on fire, so .... he's not great.
Employee of the Year [1.02]
Heather's Sister [1.03]
Hostile Workplace [1.04]
Crystal on Ice [1.05]
- (Ben finds Roman sleeping in the Candy Room on a giant bag of popcorn, using cotton candy as a pillow)
- Ben: Hi. Are ya...living? In the Candy Room?
- Roman: (laughs) That's crazy!
- Ben: Why's there a hot plate over there?
- Roman: I don't know, why is there anything anywhere?
- (steam pipe vents behind Ben, letting out a loud noise)
- Ben: Oh my God!
- Roman: Yeah, that happens like every thirty seconds (grabs bag of cotton candy and starts eating ) which is kind of a bummer, ya know?
- Ben: Can I ask ya...are ya...eating your own pillow?
- Roman: (giggles) Yeah!
- (display on sign outside The Sunshine Center)
- TONIGHT!! SMURFS ON ICE FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY. NEXT WEEK: PORN! MEET ADULT FILM STARS!!
- (Ben walks into his office and finds Alice waiting for him)
- Alice: There you are. Hey, I'm having a little....
- Ben: (cuts her off) I can't pretend to listen to your problems right now, we have to talk about me!
- Alice: What's wrong??
- Ben: I'll tell you what's wrong! Something's happening to me! Roman, is very sad about his mother, and that makes me sad. Crystal, is very very upset about a little blue person, and that makes me upset. It's just occurring to me now, I'm actually curious, how your night went with Alonzo! What the hell's happening to me?
- Alice: You're becoming an actual human being.
- Ben: Well I don't like it! (storms out in a huff)
Lingerie Football [1.06]
- Roman: Hey, how do you just talk to a woman like that?
- Ben: Well first of all, it helps to use actual words.
- Roman: Yeah, I wish I could tell Heather how I feel. I just get so scared.
- Ben: That's a healthy fear Roman, she's tried to kill people.
- Roman: (giggles) She's layered. She is just so layered!
- (Ben is helping Crystal go over her taxes.)
- Ben: Here's a big ticket item that has me a little confused. In 1997, you purchased Ecuador?
- Crystal: (filing her nails) It's a long story. I briefly dated a man named Marcos. Put it under travel.