Mr. Sunshine

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Mr. Sunshine is an American comedy television series, which premiered on ABC on February 9, 2011. The show stars Matthew Perry stars as Ben Donovan, the self-involved manager of a second-rate San Diego sports arena who begins to re-evaluate his life on his 40th birthday.

Season 1[edit]

Pilot [1.01][edit]

(small child approaches Ben in the sky box)
Boy: Excuse me, are you one of the players?
Ben: Oh no, my job's much better big guy! You know what I do, is I'm in charge of this entire arena. Every night, 17,505 people come here expecting to have a good time, and I make sure they do!
Boy: (with the same enthusiasm as before) Are you one of the players?
Ben: (taken aback) What? I just tol...what the hell's the matter with you?

Ben: Hey, you're the head maintence guy, right?
Bobert: Yes.
Ben: And your name is ... Bob --- Bobinson --- Bobert?
Bobert: Yes.
Ben: (surprised) Really? Your name is Bob Bobinson Bobert?
Bobert: Two years ago you told me you only wanted to hear me say yes. It's tricky, because you don't always ask yes or no questions.

Crystal: Now Alonzo, make sure you have a good mix of kids for the photo op. You know, black, white...the Himalayas are in Asia, right?
Alonzo: (nods) Mmm-hmm.
Crystal: Get me an Asian kid. Oh! And I'm gonna need some kind of a trophy. Have the Asian child hand me some kind of a trophy! (claps)
Ben: You're right to clap, because these are all very strong ideas.

Alonzo: So, how is your new assistant working out?
Ben: Oh, Heather? Ah...She's great. Thank you for her by the way. Always on time, very sweet. Remind me again though, what did she do? She...she lit a man on fire?
Alonzo: There was an investigation. The evidence was inconclusive. Ah...yes.
Ben: But...the guy's okay though, right?
Alonzo: Well she did light him on fire, so .... he's not great.

Employee of the Year [1.02][edit]

Heather's Sister [1.03][edit]

Hostile Workplace [1.04][edit]

Crystal on Ice [1.05][edit]

(Ben finds Roman sleeping in the Candy Room on a giant bag of popcorn, using cotton candy as a pillow)
Ben: Hi. Are ya...living? In the Candy Room?
Roman: (laughs) That's crazy!
Ben: Why's there a hot plate over there?
Roman: I don't know, why is there anything anywhere?
(steam pipe vents behind Ben, letting out a loud noise)
Ben: Oh my God!
Roman: Yeah, that happens like every thirty seconds (grabs bag of cotton candy and starts eating ) which is kind of a bummer, ya know?
Ben: Can I ask ya...are ya...eating your own pillow?
Roman: (giggles) Yeah!

(display on sign outside The Sunshine Center)
TONIGHT!! SMURFS ON ICE FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY. NEXT WEEK: PORN! MEET ADULT FILM STARS!!

(Ben walks into his office and finds Alice waiting for him)
Alice: There you are. Hey, I'm having a little....
Ben: (cuts her off) I can't pretend to listen to your problems right now, we have to talk about me!
Alice: What's wrong??
Ben: I'll tell you what's wrong! Something's happening to me! Roman, is very sad about his mother, and that makes me sad. Crystal, is very very upset about a little blue person, and that makes me upset. It's just occurring to me now, I'm actually curious, how your night went with Alonzo! What the hell's happening to me?
Alice: You're becoming an actual human being.
Ben: Well I don't like it! (storms out in a huff)

Lingerie Football [1.06][edit]

Roman: Hey, how do you just talk to a woman like that?
Ben: Well first of all, it helps to use actual words.
Roman: Yeah, I wish I could tell Heather how I feel. I just get so scared.
Ben: That's a healthy fear Roman, she's tried to kill people.
Roman: (giggles) She's layered. She is just so layered!

(Ben is helping Crystal go over her taxes.)
Ben: Here's a big ticket item that has me a little confused. In 1997, you purchased Ecuador?
Crystal: (filing her nails) It's a long story. I briefly dated a man named Marcos. Put it under travel.

Celebrity Tennis [1.07][edit]