Mrs. Doubtfire
From Wikiquote
Mrs. Doubtfire is a 1993 film comedy about a family separated by an impending divorce. The father takes on the job as the family housekeeper, unbenownst to his ex, who believes him to be an elderly Scottish woman.
- Directed by Chris Columbus.
- Tagline
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[edit] Euphegenia Doubtfire
- (After setting fake bust on fire and putting it out) Look at this! My first day as a woman and I'm getting hot flashes.
- Carpe dentum. Seize the teeth.
- It was a run-by fruiting!
- I can hip-hop, be-bop, dance till ya drop, and yo yo, make a wicked cup of cocoa.
- Ohh thank you, dear. Yes, touch me again and I'll drown you ya bastard!
- Look, Natty. That's called liposuction.
- (Is walking across the street, then almost gets mugged. Hits mugger in the face.) (As Daniel) Back off, asshole! BEAT IT!
(As Mrs. Doubtfire.) Broke my bag, the bastard.
- You know they often say a man with a car like that's trying to compensate for smaller genitals sissy, but not in your case, cause I see that you're a strapping aren't ya.
- She's got a power tool in the bedroom (Stuart spits out his drink back in the glass). She could break a sidewalk to that thing. Surprised she hasn't chipped her teeth.
- (Drops false teeth in drink, Stuart doubletakes and pulls a strange face). Oh (pretends to talk with no teeth)
- Upstairs, my little noseminers! Go! Flee before me! Onward and upward! Go pump some neurons. Expand your craniums!
- [reading a letter on T.V.] "Dear Mrs. Doubtfire; Two months ago, my mom and dad decided to separate. Now they live in different houses. My brother Andrew says that we aren't a real family any more. Is this true? Did I lose my family? Is there anything I could do to get my parents back together? Sincerely, Katie McCormick." Oh, my dear Katie. You know, some parents get along much better when they don't live together. They don't fight all the time and they can become better people. Much better mommies and daddies for you. And sometimes they get back together. And sometimes they don't, dear. And if they don't... don't blame yourself. Just because they don't love each other doesn't mean that they don't love you. There are all sorts of different families, Katie. Some families have one mommy, some families have one daddy, or two families. Some children live with their uncle or aunt. Some live with their grandparents, and some children live with foster parents. Some live in separate homes and neighborhoods, in different areas of the country. They may not see each other for days, weeks, months or even years at a time. But if there's love, dear, those are the ties that bind. And you'll have a family in your heart forever. All my love to you, poppet. You're going to be all right. Bye-bye.
[edit] Daniel Hillard
- Ever wish you could freeze frame a moment in your day, and look at it and say "this is not my life"?
- I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille.
[edit] Dialogue
- Daniel{as Pudgy the Parrot}: Yipe. On second thought, YIIIIPE! 911! 911! Police! Authorities! ASPCA! ASAP! Murder! Betrayal! Kidnap! No. BIRDNAP!! Don't I get to see a lawyer?
- Daniel{as villianous cat}: I am sorry, but afternoon snacks have no constitional rights. But before I cook you, how about one last cigarette?
- Daniel{as Pudgy the Parrot}: Oh no, I cannot. Ack, I am sick! Ick, what a horrid way for a bird to die! Oh no, my lungs are blackening!
- Lou rolls his eyes
- Lou: Here we go again. CUT! Daniel, for the nineteenth time, you cannot put words into Pudgy the Parrot's mouth! Especially when he is not moving his lips.
- Daniel: Ah, but that is the beauty of voice over. It can be part of the inner monologue. Or wait, the voice of God!
- Daniel{as God}: DON'T PUDGY! DO NOT SMOKE!
- Daniel chuckles
- Lou: Daniel, this session is costing the studio thousands of dollars. You better get your act together and stop ad-libbing. You read the script, what is your problem?
- Daniel: What is the problem? Look at this! The studio is showing Pugdy the Parrot with a cigarette in his mouth! You are telling me you do not see trouble ahead?
- Lou: What controversy, Daniel? This is a cartoon, not a goddamn Oprah Winfrey special!
- Daniel: Look Lou, millions of children across the United States are going to be seeing this cartoon. That is like sending them each a pack of cigarettes and a message that says "Light up"! What would the technicians say?
- Daniel sees three men observing the recording studio, each smoking cigarettes, looking at him enraged
- Daniel: Ah ha! Case in point! They are biased. I demand a mistrial!
- Lou{sighing}: Actors. All right Daniel, I am going to be blunt. If you want a paycheck, you stick to the script. If you want to play Gandhi, you do it on someone else's time.
- Daniel removes recording earmuffs
- Daniel{as Gandhi}: Well a man's got to do what a man has got to do.
- Daniel proceeds to exit recording studio
- Lou: Oh ho! Listen up buddy, if you walk out of this studio we do not want you back! Understand?
- Daniel: Well, in the words of Porky Pig...
- Daniel{as Porky Pig}: ...dooba dabba dooba dobba... Piss off, Lou!
- Daniel: Could you make me a woman?
- Frank: Honey, I'm so happy!
- Daniel: How about we take a vacation, take the kids, get you away from work, you'll see that you're a different person. You are. You're great.
- Miranda: But our problems would be waiting for us when we got back.
- Daniel: Well we'll move, and hopefully our problems won't follow us.
- Miranda: Daniel, please don't joke. We're far apart. We're different. We have nothing in common.
- Daniel: Sure we do. We love each other... We love each other... Don't we?
- Miranda: I want a divorce.
- Daniel: I am Daniel Hillard, the actor.
- Foreman: Yeah, right this way.
- Foreman leads Daniel into a room full of canisters of film reels
- Daniel: Ah, films. Will I be introducing them?
- Foreman{gruff}: Not exactly. See these films right here. You pack them. After you pack them, you put them in crates over there. And after you box them, you ship them. Any questions?
- Daniel: After I box them?
- Foreman: You ship them. Lots of luck, smart ass.
- Foreman departs room
- Daniel{talking to himself}: I think I just made a new friend.
- Daniel: Alright, listen to me. I'm not who you think I am.
- Chris: No shit!
- Daniel: Watch your mouth, young man!
- Chris: Dad?
- Daniel: Yeah.
- Lydia: Dad?
- Daniel: Yeah, honey.
- Chris: But you don't like wearing that stuff, do you, Dad?
- Daniel: Well, some of it's comfortable - NO! No; it's a pain in the pattered ass. This isn't a way of life; it's just a job. I don't go to old-lady bars or anything like that after work, you know. It's just the only way I can see you guys every day.
- Chris: Who did this to you?
- Daniel: Uncle Frank and Aunt Jack.
- Daniel goes to Frank's makeup shop in need of a new mask. Frank is appalled at seeing the Mrs. Doubtfire face having tire tracks on it, then hands Daniel another Mrs. Doubtfire mask
- Frank: Can you please take care of this one? She is an old lady!
- Daniel: I will, thanks a lot.
- Daniel leaves makeup shop
- Frank{talking to himself}: Why was I not an only child?
- Daniel: What kind of idiot kept this guy on the air for twenty-five years?
- Jonathan Lundy: Me. [offering his hand] Jonathan Lundy.
- Daniel: Jonathan Lundy, general manager, owner? Daniel Hillard, former employee.
- Mrs. Doubtfire: He was quite fond of the drink. It was the drink that killed him.
- Miranda: How awful, he was an alcoholic?
- Mrs. Doubtfire: No, he was hit by a Guinness truck, so it was quite literally the drink that killed him.
- Natalie: Daddy?
- Daniel: Yeah, honey. It's me.
- Miranda: (GASP)
- Daniel: Happy birthday.
- Miranda: Daniel? Daniel! Oh my god. Oh my god! Oh my god! The whole time? The whole time, you were - THE WHOLE TIME?! Don't talk to me. Don't...touch me - DON'T TOUCH ME! I have to go. We have to leave now. I have to leave. We have to leave. I have to go!
[edit] Taglines
- She makes dinner. She does windows. She reads bedtime stories. She's a blessing... in disguise.
[edit] Cast
- Robin Williams — Daniel Hillard/Mrs. Doubtfire
- Sally Field — Miranda Hillard
- Lisa Jakub — Lydia Hillard
- Matthew Lawrence — Christopher Hillard
- Mara Wilson — Natalie Hillard
- Pierce Brosnan — Stuart Dunmeyer
- Robert Prosky — Jonathan Lundy
[edit] External links
- Mrs. Doubtfire quotes at the Internet Movie Database
- Mrs. Doubtfire at Rotten Tomatoes
