(Redirected from Mumford)
Mumford is a 1999 comedic feature film set in a small town, where a new psychologist gives offbeat advice to the neurotic residents.
Dr. Mumford 
- Jeez, what an asshole.
- About Lionel Dillard to Althea Brockett
- I don't know what's real and what's not. That's never been my strong suit.
- To Sofie Crisp
- I understand what it's like to want to leave a problem behind.
- In these fantasies, Henry Follet is played by a handsome guy — with biceps. Can you imagine that — where your self esteem has to be? Man, I'd just like to move the guy to the point where he gets to appear in his own fantasies.
- I am not now, nor have I ever been, a psychologist.
- About himself to Skip Skipperton
- I noticed Something. For some reason, probably because I was too stoned to talk, everywhere I went people would talk to me. Tell me everything. Their problems, their inner most thoughts. Sometimes they needed advice, but most of the people just wanted someone to listen.
- About himself to Skip Skipperton
- In a free society you are what you say you are. If you screwed up on life, sometimes you can get another shot.
Sofie Crisp 
- Its almost too exhausting to tell you about my exhaustion. I didn't really want to come. I'm not hopeful right now.
- About her symptoms of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
- God, it seems like years. I'm embarrassed by it. Before this happened — when I'd hear people talk about this kind of thing — I thought it was bullshit.
- You're shockingly honest. That's what makes you great. I've never had a man treat me this way. With you I feel really listened to.
- Thanks to this therapy I now know what I am looking for. I need to find a man like you. Not one who's treating me of course. And I'm going to do it dammit, you've given me the confidence.
- I have taken all my feelings of gratitude and relief and transferred them onto you. I have taken all those warm, grateful emotions, and confused them with feelings for you, so that now I am under the delusion that — I am in love with you.
- Do you understand how I might be a little resentful that this so-called love I'm feeling is totally bogus and just a pathetic case of transference?
- This shrink school you went to, did you hear about it in an infomercial?
- I watched 20/20, it was shocking! Did you know the government is wasteful?
- Have you come across a bigger shithead than my stepfather?
- Martin Brockett
- Why do I feel so elated? Am I in denial? You know what this feels like? I know my time's up, but I've got to get this out while I've got a hold of it! ... When I was in high school the thing I wanted most when I was stuck in class, the thing that I was desperately in pursuit of, was a hall pass. That's all I ever wanted. I loved moving freely around the school while everybody else was trapped in there. That's how I feel right now. Like I have some giant all day hall pass.
- Althea Brockett
- I may be young, but Doc can tell you — I'm very immature.
- Skip Skipperton to Lily
- No one can escape the fear of death. It is, as William James put it, "the worm at the core," and try as we may to forget or ignore our own mortality, the skull will grin in at the banquet.
- Dr. Ernest Delbanco
- Althea: Everyone's got something they're not so proud of. Even you probably have things.
- Dr. Mumford: Me more than most.
- Dr. Mumford: Feel free to lie down. Most people do.
- Sofie Crisp: I'd better not. I'll fall right to sleep. I think it's too soon for me to be sleeping with you.
- Dr. Mumford: We'll work it out.
- Sofie Crisp: You have the best answer for everything.
- Mrs. Crisp: What kind of doctor are you?
- Dr. Mumford: Ph.D. Psychologist.
- Mrs. Crisp: Oh. Not a real doctor.
- Dr. Mumford: That's right, the fake kind.
- Jeremy Brockett: Are you a man who likes to treat himself right?
- Dr. Mumford: I've had my moments.
- Jeremy Brockett: Well, I am. And I'm not ashamed of it. Nobody ever said on their deathbed, "I treated myself too well."
- Dr. Mumford: I thought it was, "Nobody ever said I should have spent more time at the office."
- Jeremy Brockett: Fill in the blanks. I don't mind the office. The point is you only go around once. So, like the Zen say, "Be here now."
- Skip Skipperton: Do you know how I spend my every single solitary moment?
- Dr. Mumford: Jerking off?
- Skip Skipperton: No! That's a good guess though.
- Skip Skipperton: Are you telling me that your last job before becoming a psychologist was an investigator for the IRS?
- Dr. Mumford: Everybody has a story, Skip.
- Skip Skipperton: Seems like you got the variety pack.
- Skip Skipperton: You've fallen in love with one of your patients? — Doc! It's not me is it?
- Dr. Mumford: What? No, Skip. It's not you, but I like you a lot.