Nathan Barley

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Quotes from the TV show Nathan Barley.

Season 1[edit]

Episode 1 [n.m][edit]

Nathan Barley:
  • It's been out for three weeks in Japan. Where's yours?
  • His trousers fall down and there's like a piss stain on his pants. Check it out yeah, it is well bum.
  • Peace and fucking. Believe.
  • Bum. Keep it lived. Keep it dense, yeah?
  • Check out my website, yeah? It's well fucking futile.
  • Keep it chopped out, yeah?
  • Check it out yeah, trashbat.co.ck, my web site. Dot cock yeah, registered in the Cook Islands.
  • Wasp T12. It's got a massive number five 'cause it's the most common number.
  • Futures, yeah?
  • Keep it dusty.
  • Twice in one day. Well coincimental.
  • It's an online urban culture dispatch.
  • I'm a self facilitating media node.
  • Renegade production node.
  • My desk, A.K.A.S. Main Hub.
  • That is well jackson.
  • OK, here's the credos. Trash, as in what's all around us... and... bat.
Dan Ashcroft:
  • They babble into hand-held twit machines about that cool email of the woman being bummed by a wolf.
  • Welcome to the age of stupidity. Hail the rise of the idiots.
  • Yeah, you're going to fuck an idiot.
  • French, Italian, Spanish, Dutch, French... err ...Southern French. Danish.
Ned Smanks
  • Yeah, well plastic.
  • Keep it foolish.
  • Trojan measure mate, Trojan measure.
Toby
  • Yeah, you pair of towels.

Episode 2 [n.m][edit]

Nathan Barley:
  • Well cheeks, man, well cheeks.
  • You should come to the party Friday, it'll be well jackson.
  • You can come, you can come twice, you can come multiple times.
  • You should come, dollsnatch. It's gonna be totally fucking Mexico.
Dan Ashcroft:
  • Shut up, fat arms.

Unattributed - Season 1[edit]

Nathan Barley[edit]

  • It's well weapon.
  • Well cheeks. Well cheeks.
  • Toby, you rim licker! How's it fucking collapsing?
  • You should come, dollsnatch. It's gonna be totally fucking Mexico.
  • Futures, monkey muff.
  • Alright, spunk flake?
  • Awesome fucking Welles
  • Bum.
  • I kicked the brown door in and painted it white on the way out.
  • You can come, you can come twice, you can come multiple times.
  • (rapping to Claire Ashcroft while in bed with her) Taking the lips down to the nips. Gonna head down south, south with me mouth. Comin' up for air and me mouth say "yeah". Sure, yeah, lose the frown. I'm goin' all the way down. Soon I'll be showin' you my 'OHH' face. Soon I'll be showin' you my 'OHH' face. Got a strong hunch you prefer a big munch. You drift off. I'll have a scoff.
  • Does the pope fuck kids ? (A rhetorical question, similar to "Does a bear shit in the woods?" in response to being asked if he wants to meet a cute celebrity girl at a cafe.)

Ned Smanks[edit]

  • "I'm gonna do laps basically, after that."
  • "He got ill because he swallowed a spike."