Parental Guidance (film)
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- Harper Decker-Simmons: [with a mouthful of cake] Mom, you lied to me! Yogurt is not like ice cream!
- Diane Decker: Bravo! Oh, wow! Harper, that was wonderful!
- Harper Decker Simmons: I stunk.
- Diane Decker: You most certainly did not!
[to Dr. Schveer]
- Diane Decker: Wasn't she wonderful?
- Dr. Schveer: No. This will *not* be good enough for your audition. You must practice more! When my daughter underperforms, I shun her. *This* girl should be shunned!
- Artie Decker: [singing] Come out, come out, Mr. Doody. And swim in the swimming pool. I know it's dark when you're hiding, but out here it's really cool. [pauses] Come on, come on, Mr. Doody. 'Cause we've got something to do. And if you hurry, you'll meet Carl the kangaroo.
- Billy Crystal as Artie "Fartie" Decker
- Bette Midler as Diane Decker
- Marisa Tomei as Alice Decker-Simmons
- Tom Everett Scott as Phil Simmons
- Bailee Madison as Harper Decker-Simmons
- Joshua Rush as Turner Decker-Simmons
- Kyle Harrison Breitkopf as Barker Decker-Simmons
- Mavrick Moreno as Cody
- Madison Lintz as Ashley
- Karan Kendrick as Pre-School Mom
- Daniel-Leon Kit as Dennis Browning
- Tony Hawk as Himself
- Steve Levy as Himself