Patch Adams (film)
Patch Adams is a 1998 comedy-drama film directed by Tom Shadyac and based on the true life story of Hunter "Patch" Adams and the book Gesundheit: Good Health is a Laughing Matter by Adams and Maureen Mylander. It stars Robin Williams and Phillip Seymour-Hoffman.
Hunter 'Patch' Adams
- [first lines]All of life is a coming home. Salesmen, secretaries, coal miners, beekeepers, sword swallowers, all of us. All the restless hearts of the world, all trying to find a way home. It's hard to describe what I felt like then. Picture yourself walking for days in the driving snow; you don't even know you're walking in circles. The heaviness of your legs in the drifts, your shouts disappearing into the wind. How small you can feel, and how far away home can be. Home. The dictionary defines it as both a place of origin and a goal or destination. And the storm? The storm was all in my mind. Or as the poet Dante put it: In the middle of the journey of my life, I found myself in a dark wood, for I had lost the right path. Eventually I would find the right path, but in the most unlikely place.
- [to Corrine] I'm really starting to love the back of your head.
- You treat a disease, you win, you lose. You treat a person, I guarantee you, you'll win, no matter what the outcome.
- [standing on the edge of a cliff contemplating suicide. He talks to God . . ] So what now, huh? What do you want from me? [looks down over cliff, a rock tumbles off] Yeah, I could do it. We both know you wouldn't stop me. So answer me please. Tell me what you're doing. Okay, let's look at the logic. You create man. Man suffers enormous amounts of pain. Man dies. Maybe you should have had just a few more brainstorming sessions prior to creation. You rested on the seventh day. Maybe you should've spent that day on compassion. [looks down over the cliff again] You know what? You're not worth it. [walks away from the cliff]
- Our job is improving the quality of life, not just delaying death.
- We need to start treating the patient as well as the disease.
- We can head on down to the maternity ward. You know those chicks put out.
- Ye of little faith.
- Who likes to masturbate? [Everyone in room raises their hands]
- I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where, I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close. (Quotation from XVII by Pablo Neruda)
- What's wrong with death sir? What are we so mortally afraid of? Why can't we treat death with a certain amount of humanity and dignity, and decency, and God forbid, maybe even humor. Death is not the enemy gentlemen. If we're going to fight a disease, let's fight one of the most terrible diseases of all, indifference.
- [using a skeleton as a puppet] Hey, I'm trying to lose a little weight, here. Have I lost too much? Have I gone too far? Got a boner. I am a boner. [Cackles]
- Sir, I want to be a doctor will all my heart.
- I wanted to become a doctor so I could serve others. And because of that, I've lost everything. But I've also gained everything.
- [Patch is trying to convince Rudy not to be afraid of squirrels] What could they want? Your nuts?
- Blue skies smiling at me, nothing but blue skies do I see. Bluebirds singing a song nothing but bluebirds all day long. (Quoted from Ella Fitzgerald's song Blue Skies)
- You're focusing on the problem. If you focus on the problem, you can't see the solution. Never focus on the problem!
- See what no one else sees. See what everyone chooses not to see... out of fear, conformity or laziness. See the whole world anew each day!
- You learn anything about proctology yet Patch? Good, take care of this asshole for me, will ya?
- Lesbian, airhead, ballbuster, whichever one of these disgusts you the most, take your pick. Please spread the word: I'm not here to date. I'm not here to flirt. I'm here to study.
- When I was a girl I would look out my bedroom window at the caterpillars; I envied them so much. No matter what they were before, no matter what happened to them, they could just hide away and turn into these beautiful creatures that could fly away completely untouched.
- Truman Schiff:I thought only I could repel women with that kind of raw efficiency.
- Dean Walcott: Our job is to rigorously and ruthlessly train the humanity out of you and make you into something better. We're gonna make doctors out of you.
- Hunter Patch Adams: Last night with Rudy, I connected to another human being. I want more of that. I want to learn about people, help them with their troubles.
- Dr. Prack: That's what I do.
- Hunter Patch Adams: But you suck at it. You don't even listen to them when they talk. I wanna listen; I wanna really listen.
- Hunter Patch Adams: You don't understand, I'm leaving.
- Dr. Prack: Hunter, if you leave my records will say AMA, that you signed out of this hospital Against Medical Advice.
- Hunter Patch Adams: And mine will say IDGARA: I Don't Give A Rat's Ass. And my name is Patch.
- Hunter "Patch" Adams: Excuse me, Beenie. Which way is heaven [due to Beenie's catatonic state, his hand is raised; everyone laughs (except Dr. Prack)] Correct. Beenie, how much taller is Wilt Chamberlain than you? [patients laugh]
- Rudy: Hey, Beenie, Beenie, Beenie. Where's the ceiling?
- 'Bile: Where do the birds fly, Beenie?
- Hunter "Patch" Adams: How do you say "Hello" to Hitler?
- Other patient: Beenie, Beenie. How does Hitler say "Hello"?
- Hunter "Patch" Adams: Beenie, how do you check an elephant for a hernia? [patients laugh] Who can win a staring contest? [points to Beenie] Beenie!!
- Rudy: Who...Who farted?
- Everyone: [laughing and pointing at Beeine]
- Hunter "Patch" Adams: Who likes to masturbate? [all patients and "Patch" raise their hands] Beenie, how does a one-armed referee say "field goal"?
- Arthur Mendelson: [his attorney is expressing concern over him using his land for Patch's free medical clinic] You learn anything about proctology yet?
- Hunter Patch Adams: A little.
- Arthur Mendelson: Good, take care of this asshole for me, will you?
- Arthur Mendelson: [holds up Patch's hand] How many do you see? [he does not respond] No no! Look beyond the fingers! Now tell me how many you see.
- Dean Walcott: ...you are not cut out to be a physician, and it is my responsibility...
- Hunter Patch Adams: Responsibility? You have one responsibility: to be a dickhead. How hard can that be? All you have to do is make sure your head is a dick, and it's attached to your neck.
- Corinne Fisher: [while Patch is driving] When can I open my eyes?
- Hunter Patch Adams: [joking] As soon as I open mine.
- [Hunter enters Bill Davis's hospital room dressed as an angel carrying a book]
- Hunter Patch Adams: Preview of coming attractions.
- Bill Davis: [calling out] Nurse...
- Hunter Patch Adams: [reads from the book] Death. To die. To expire. To pass on. To perish. To peg out. To push up daisies. To push up posies. To become extinct. Curtains, deceased, demised, departed, and defunct. Dead as a doornail. Dead as a herring. Dead as a mutton. Dead as nits. The last breath. Paying a debt to nature. The big sleep. God's way of saying, "Slow down."
- Bill Davis: [he starts to yell at Patch but changes his mind] To check out.
- Hunter Patch Adams: To shuffle off this mortal coil.
- Bill Davis: To head for the happy hunting ground.
- Hunter Patch Adams: To blink for an exceptionally long period of time.
- Bill Davis: To find oneself without breath.
- Hunter Patch Adams: To be the incredible decaying man.
- Bill Davis: Worm buffet.
- Hunter Patch Adams: Kick the bucket.
- Bill Davis: Buy the farm.
- Hunter Patch Adams Take the cab.
- Bill Davis Cash in your chips.
- Hunter Patch Adams And if we bury you ass up, I have got a place to park my bike.
- Mitch Roman: I don't mean to be rude, but aren't you a little old to be starting medical school?
- Hunter "Patch" Adams: You know, Babe Ruth was 39 when he joined the Yankees.
- Mitch Roman: No, he wasn't!
- Hunter Patch Adams: I know. If you have a better example, please tell me. Hi. Patch Adams.
- Mitch Roman: Mitch Roman. Georgetown University. I was awarded the William F. Thompson Scientific Achievement Award.
- Hunter Patch Adams: Mmm. Emerson Elementary. I once drew a picture of a rabbit that got me two gold stars.
- Hunter Patch Adams: If you don't like me, just say it.
- Mitch Roman: I don't like you!
- Hunter Patch Adams: Why don't you like me? You're a prick and I like you.
- Hunter Patch Adams: Now you have the ability to keep me from graduating. You can keep me from getting the title and the white coat. But you can't control my spirit, gentlemen. You can't keep me from learning, you can't keep me from studying. So you have a choice: you can have me as a professional colleague, passionate, or you can have me as an outspoken outsider, still adament. Either way I'll probably still be viewed as a thorn. But I promise you one thing: I am a thorn that will not go away.
- Charlie: Is that all?
- Hunter Patch Adams: I hope not, sir.
- [Joletta has just met Patch]
- Joletta: Look here, Judy, another future boss.
- Hunter Patch Adams: Oh, I wouldn't look at it like that.
- Joletta: You may think I'm exaggerating, but in another five years you'll be so full of yourself you'll have to hang a cup out your ass just to catch the excess.
- Robin Williams ... Hunter 'Patch' Adams
- Daniel London ... Truman Schiff
- Monica Potter ... Corinne Fisher
- Philip Seymour Hoffman ... Mitch Roman
- Bob Gunton ... Dean Walcott
- Josef Sommer ... Dr. Eaton
- Irma P. Hall ... Joletta
- Frances Lee McCain ... Judy
- Harve Presnell ... Dean J.P. Anderson
- Daniella Kuhn ... Adelane
- Peter Coyote ... Bill Davis
- James Greene ... Bile
- Michael Jeter ... Rudy
- Harold Gould ... Arthur Mendelson
- Bruce Bohne ... Trevor Beene
- Harry Groener ... Dr. Prack
- Barry Shabaka Henley ... Emmet
- Steven Anthony Jones ... Charlie
- Richard Kiley ... Dr. Titan
- Douglas Roberts ... Lawrence 'Larry' Silver
Based on a true story.