Penny and Aggie
Penny and Aggie is a webcomic written by T Campbell. Though the current artist is Jason Waltrip, it was previously drawn by Gisele Lagace. It deals mostly with the dramas and hardships of highschool life.
- Penny: The hardest part of being popular is keeping your distance from people.
- Penny: We'll be like on "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy!" Only, I won't be gay, and when we're done, you'll look female!
- Stan: Ladies're lovely creatures, but they're not sensible! At...all! So we actually have a chance!
- Sara: Circle circle, dot dot, now you have your cootie shot.
- Aggie: Ever get the feeling you're flunking basic social awareness?
- Marshall: I like weights. If a weight is about to crush your heart, you can feel the pressure. You know it's coming. With people, you're never sure.
- Penny: Ohhh, grape! Whyfore must you be so tart? Wouldest thou be sweeter if I wrotest you showy poetry?
- Helen: Maybe I want to be used! You ever think about that?
- Duane: I'm gettin' a ping on my grudge-dar.
- Penny: I thought she hated me because I'm thinner...or cooler...but no. I did something I don't think she'll ever forgive. I helped her.
- Brandi: Everybody expects me to be all "solidarity, sister" 'bout Duane, but the man is unbuttered toast. A little spread of cruelty might make him passably interesting. Call it angst jam.
- Stan: Maybe I gotta take another look at this.
- Jack: Or maybe you don't. Sometimes these "looks" give you perspective...and sometimes they're just puttin' things off. You tell yourself you're just taking a sec. And then another. And you feel like you're doin' somethin' by thinkin' ...even if you know better than you feel.
- Number 335
- Lisa: My anti-iTunes pamphlet is a PDF on iTunes. See Lisa subvert the monopolists. Subvert, Lisa, subvert!
- Penny: His life is like a sitcom, only entertaining!
- Marshall: Humor's good! Means no serious brain damage.
- Aggie: This sounds suspiciously like a misunderstanding-based comedy of errors? I don't do those any more.
- Katy-Ann: It's God's gift. I have a frock of mockery.
- Penny: I am no one's seed-pod. I am not a person-in-the-making, I am a person now.
- Penny: I...am...the...serenest!
- Lisa: What's the worst that could happen?
- Aggie: We could diiiiiiiie!
- Lisa: ...Without ever having lived!
- Number 639
- Aggie: Dear Mr. President: I have solved the world's energy needs. All you need to do is put two girls I know on a treadmill.
- Brandi: I understand boys. Boys show what they feel. Boys' friends are their friends. Girls are the ones to watch out for.
- Duane: To be accepted in high school, you have to act as if you know everything already.
- Marshall: This is one of those hypothetical-except-not-reallys, isn't it?
- Penny: I don't really need the perfect shoes. It's just fun to pretend I do.
- Penny: Ready to save the world, you post-ironic post-yuppie?
- Lisa: Pete Townshend, your lyrics are not as relevant to my life as advertised!
- Karen: Pretty people get to do what they want...
- Aggie: This...this is what it feels like.
- Lisa: "It" what?
- Aggie: Change.
- Number 836
- Penny: Everyone tries to change people. You do it with guilt and I do it with hawtness, because, y'know, that's what we're good at, but we all do it!
- Melody: What, you think I went to Hell? I wasn't that liberal.
- Lynda: Maturity is hard to pin down, especially in these modern times. You can read all the books you like and still flirt at a kindergarten level. You can flirt at a kindergarten level, and still show kindness and thoughtfulness to others. You can put aside what you think are "childish" relationships, and take years to realize your error. You can discover that the best path to mature emotional balance is going out and getting crazy for a while.
- Lisa: I'm just...open. Whatev, you know? Screw labels.
- Stan: We just got history [exam] tomorrow, and then it's two weeks of eggnog and intellectual atrophy. What our Lord Santa died to give us.
- Aggie: Some people measure good and evil based on convenience and comfort. Like heels and flats.