Portal (game)
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- This article includes quotes from the video game Portal. For portals inside Wikiquote, see Wikiquote:Portal
Portal is a first-person action/puzzle video game that was released as part of The Orange Box bundle package in October 2007. The game consists primarily of a series of puzzles that must be solved by teleporting the player's character and other simple objects using the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device (dubbed the "Portal Gun"), a unit that can create an inter-spatial portal between flat planes. The player character is challenged by an AI named "GLaDOS" (Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System) to complete each puzzle in the "Aperture Science Enrichment Center" using the Portal Gun with the promise of receiving cake when all the puzzles are completed.
[edit] GLaDOS
- "Spectacular. You appear to understand how a portal affects forward momentum, or to be more precise, how it does not. Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals. In layman's terms, speedy thing goes in, speedy thing comes out."
- "Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grid, which may, in semi-rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth."
- [in a room flooded with toxic acid] "Please note that we have added a consequence for failure. Any contact with the chamber floor will result in an 'unsatisfactory' mark on your official testing record, followed by death. Good luck!"
- "The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment. In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice. For instance, the floor here will kill you. Try to avoid it."
- "Did you know you can donate one or all of your vital organs to the Aperture Science self esteem fund for girls? It's true!"
- "The Enrichment Center is committed to the well being of all participants. Cake and grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the test. Thank you for helping us help you help us all."
- "Remember, the Aperture Science 'Bring Your Daughter to Work Day' is the perfect time to get her tested."
- "Unbelievable. You, [subject name here], must be the pride of [subject hometown here]!"
- "If you feel lightheaded from thirst, feel free to pass out. An intubation associate will revive you with peptic salve and adrenaline."
- "As an optional test protocol, we are pleased to present an amusing fact. The device is now more valuable than the organs and combined incomes of everyone in [subject hometown here]."
- "The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak."
- "The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Companion Cube cannot speak. In the event that the Companion Cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice."
- [near the start of the nineteenth and final test chamber] "Congratulations. The test is now over. All Aperture technologies remain safely operational up to 4000 degrees Kelvin. Rest assured that there is absolutely no chance of a dangerous equipment malfunction prior to your victory candescence. [the moving platform the player is standing on is sinking into a fire pit] Thank you for participating in this Aperture Science computer-aided enrichment activity. Goodbye."
- "Well, you found me. Congratulations. Was it worth it? Because despite your violent behavior, the only thing you have managed to break so far is my heart. Why don't we just settle for that and call it a day? I guess we both know that isn't going to happen..."
- "Deploying surprise in five... four... Time out for a second. That wasn't supposed to happen. Do you see that thing that fell out of me? What is that? It's not the surprise... I've never seen it before. Never mind, it's a mystery I'll solve later, by myself, because you'll be dead."*
- "Have I lied to you? [pause] I mean, in this room?"
- "Keep doing whatever it is you think you're doing. Killing you and giving you good advice aren't mutually exclusive. The rocket really is the way to go."
- "Two plus two is f-f-f-f... ten. [distorted sounds] ...in base four; I'm fine!"
- "That thing you burned up isn't important to me. It's the fluid catalytic cracking unit. It made shoes for orphans. Nice job breaking it, hero."
- "I'd just like to point out that you were given every opportunity to succeed. There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come either because you don't have any other friends. Because of how unlikeable you are. It says so here in your personnel file: Unlikeable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikeable loner whose passing shall not be mourned. 'Shall not be mourned.' That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted. So that's funny, too."
- "Speaking of curiosity, you're curious about what happens after you die, right? Guess what? I know! You're going to find out first-hand before I can finish telling you, though, so I won't bother. I'll give you a hint: you're going to want to pack as much living as you possibly can into the next couple of minutes."
- "I have your brain scanned and permanently backed up in case something terrible happens to you... which it's just about to. Don't believe me? Here. I'll put you on. [in a high pitched voice] Hello! [normal voice] That's you! That's how dumb you sound! You've been wrong about every single thing you've ever done, including this thing. You're not smart. You're not a scientist. You're not a doctor. You're not even a full-time employee. Where did your life go so wrong?"
- "Your entire life has been a mathematical error. A mathematical error I'm about to correct."
- "That thing is probably some sort of raw sewage container. Go ahead and rub your face all over it."
- "Maybe you should marry that thing since you love it so much, do you want to marry it? Well I won't let you! How does that feel?"
- " Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said "Goodbye" and you were like
[in a deep male voice]*"No way!" And then I was all "We pretended we were going to murder you?" That was great! "
[edit] Wall graffiti
In the later stages of the game, GLaDOS changes from a helpful AI to an antagonist. As Chell, the protagonist, is escaping Aperture Science, she comes across graffiti written by a person, known as the "Rat Man" in the Xbox Arcade edition, who had previously attempted to escape.
- "The cake is a lie"
- "Not in cruelty
Not in wrath
The REAPER came today
An ANGEL visited
this gray path
And took the cube away."- Satire of "The Reaper and the Flowers" by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
- "Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me;
The cube had food and maybe ammo.
And immortality."- Satire of "Because I could not stop for Death —" by Emily Dickinson
- "Though earth and man are gone,
I thought the cube would last forever.
I was WRONG."- Possible satire of "No Coward Soul Is Mine" by Emily Bronte
