Rango (2011 film)

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Rango is a 2011 animated film about a lonely chameleon living as an family pet who faces a major identity crisis. He accidentally winds up in the gritty, gun-slinging town of Dirt, a lawless outpost located in the Mojave Desert. The less-than-courageous lizard suddenly finds himself made Sheriff after he accidentally kills a hawk and proclaims himself as a hero by the name of Rango.

Quotes[edit]

[ Upon arriving in the town of Dirt, Rango has a stone thrown at him By a group of children ]
Rango: Hey! What was that for?
Priscilla: You're funny looking.
Rango: [ Taken back ] Oh yeah? You're funny looking, too.
Priscilla: That's a funny looking shirt.
Rango: [ Getting Annoyed ] That's a funny looking dress.
Priscilla: You got funny looking eyes.
Rango: You got a funny looking face.
Priscilla: [Beat] You're a stranger. Strangers don't last long here.

Rock-Eye: Don't move!
Rango: What ? [he looks up at the Desert Cactus then continues to move after a brief pause]
Rock-Eye: Don't Move !
Rango: [suddenly alert] Not moving!
Rock-Eye: Shhh!
Rango: [whispers] Not moving.
Rock-Eye: Try to blend in.
Rango: Blend in ? Wha-what do you mean ? [notices Rock-Eye, who is in camouflage to look like a rock]
Rock-Eye: [opens his eye] Blend in! [closes his eye]
Rango: Huh? Wha...Wha-what are you saying? [a hawk flys overhead] Ahhh !
Rock-Eye: Too late...
Rango: No, no, no, it's not too late ! I-I-I-I'm blending... [throws sand on himself] I'm a blender! [runs around in panic, searching for a place to hide]
Rock-Eye: Hey, calm down! What are you doing?! Tranquillo! [Rango hides behind a cactus, but then runs and yowls in pain when the needles dig into his skin] STOP MOVING! Try not to look conspicuous. [Rango pretends to be the cactus behind him, and then ducks next to Rock-Eye and changes color] Hey, psst. What are you doing?
Rango: I'm blending!
Rock-Eye: Go blend somewhere else!
Rango: Don't distract me!
Rock-Eye: No room in the inn!
Rango: It's art, not science!
Rock-Eye: Find your own hiding place!
Rango: No, this is good! [the hawk flies by again, before turning to attack]
Rock-Eye: OH! Oh, here she comes! You better run, mojito!
Rango: Y-wha? I-I thought you said "don't move"!
Rock-Eye: That was before! Now, you run! [Rango runs as the hawk starts to chase him, while Rock-Eye laughs] Adios, amigo!

Rango: [while acting, he approaches a half plastic doll] I couldn't help but notice you noticing me noticing you. You know the womens find me uncomfortably good looking. But you seem remarkably at ease. [he moves the doll's hand on to his legs, to which he pushes away again]) Oh, stop it. [he moves the hand back again then move it away] No, really. Well, if you must. [he moves it back on his legs again and laugh] What are you doing? [laughs again, moving the dolls hand on and off himself a few times] That tickles...are those real? [the doll's hand slaps him across the face]

Rango: So, what's your name?
Beans: Beans.
Rango: That's a funny kind of name.
Beans: What can I say? My Daddy plum loved Baked Beans.
Rango: Well, you're lucky he didn't plum love Asparagus.
Beans: What are you saying?
Rango: I er... I enjoy a hearty good Puttanesca myself, but I'm not sure that a child would appreciate the moniker.
Beans: Well, my daddy was a great man, even if he did exhibit the proclaim for legumes.
Rango: [eating powder] Mmm, spicy.
Beans: You're eatin' his ashes!
Rango: Ew! You carry his remains?
Beans: No, his ashes. He loved to smoke. They never found the body.
Rango: Well, I'm sure he had his reasons.

Beans: Excuse me, Sheriff Rango, I wanna talk to you...
Rango: Hey, Beans! What do you think of the new duds? I got a ten gallon hat marked down for fifteen!
Beans: Erm, that's nice...
Rango: Have you met Angelique?
Angelique: Hello Beans.
Beans: Hello Angelique.
Angelique: Tart.
Beans: Floozie!
Angelique: Trollop.

Rango: [warming up] mmmmmmaaaaahhhh....mmmmaaaahhh, mah! Crunchy, Creamy, Cookie, Candy, Cupcake. [shakes]

Rango: You and your kin are under arrest for bank robbery and the murder of our beloved financial adviser, Johannes Merrimack the third A.K.A...Fluffy Joe.
Ezekiel: Sheriff, we didn't kill nobody. We tunneled into that vault and there weren't nothing in it.
Jedidiah: Someone done rob that bank before we robbed it.
Beans: Then where'd you get this here jug?
Ezekiel: [to Balthazar] That's what I've been trying to tell you Pappy. I found it in the desert.
Balthazar: THEN WHY IN CARNATION DID YOU BRING IT HERE?!? [whacks Ezekiel with his staff]
Rango: Hold on! You're saying it was empty when you found it?
Ezekiel: Uh, huh! That's right!
Elgin: I don't believe a word of him.
Buford: Let's hang him, sheriff!
Sergeant Turley: Yeah, string 'em up!
Ambrose: Who would dump water in the desert?
Beans: Wouldn't be the first time.
Waffles: It's a puzzle! It's like a big old mammogram!
Fergus: What's goin' on , sheriff?
Rango: I don't know, but I'm gonna strip this mystery and expose it's private parts. You and your kin are coming with me.

Priscilla: Rango! [he runs up and hugs him] You did it! You brought the water back, just like you promised...you really are a hero.
Rango: Well, you see, the thing about heroes is...
Pricilla: [she holds her hand up to stop him] Don't spoil it.
Rango: Right...

Spoons:: Hey there, fruit-cup. You're a long ways from home, ain't ya? Who exactly are you?
[Rango notices his reflection distorted in the bar's filthy mirror, and the words "Hecho en Durango" stamped on a bottle of cactus juice he is holding.]
Rango: [internal monologue.] Who am I? I could be anyone.
Spoons: What's the matter? You missing your mama's mangoes?
Rango: [enboldened.] As a matter of fact, I am. [slams bottle down, and whirls on Spoons.] But not as much as your daddy's cooking!
[Bar patrons gasp.]
Spoons: [thrown-off by Rango's statement] Exactly where did you say you were from?
Rango: Me? I-I'm from the West! Out there, beyond the horizon, past the sunset. The Far West. [begins strutting around the bar.] Yeah, that's right, hombres. The place I come from, we kill a man before breakfast just to work up an appetite. [snags a patron's toothpick with his tongue.] Then we salt 'im, then we pepper 'im, then we braise 'im in clarified butter... [takes a gopher's stetson.] And then - we eat him.
Gopher: Ya eat 'im?
Rango: THAT'S WHAT I SAID! Hell, I've seen things'll make a grown man lose control of his glandular functions! You spend three days in a horse carcass living off your own juices - it'll change a man. Oh yeah. [acccidentally sends a shuffled deck of cards flying.] Got a few extra aces in this deck, gents - just the way I like it. So no, my hairsome little rodent friend, I am not from around these parts. You might say I'm from everywhere there's trouble brewin' and hell waitin' to be raised. You could say I'm what hell's already raised up. Name's... Rango.
Elbows: Hey! Are you that guy who killed them Jenkins brothers?
Rango: Uh-huh, killed them with one bullet. Don't get no deader.
Elgin: All seven of them?
Rango: [nervously] That's right, all seven of them.
Waffles: Exactly, how did you that, Mr. Rango?
Rango: You know, I'm glad you asked me that. And I'll be happy to tell you how, but your all gonna have to listen up! Because this is where it gets... complicated.

Wounded Bird: You kill bird.
Rango: Yeah. Matter of fact, I did.
Wounded Bird: Bird dead, Snake come.
Rango: Snake?
Priscilla: He means Rattlesnake Jake, Mr.Rango. He never comes to town because he's scared of that hawk. But he might come now. Can I have your boots when you're dead?
Rango: No! I ain't got no problem with this Rattlesnake Jake!
Priscilla: That's what Amos said.
Rango: Amos?

[camera zooms to the graveyard, where one the tombstones reads "Sheriff Amos"]

Priscilla: You got any gold fillin's?

[Wounded Bird picks up a cactus fruit with his staff]

Wounded Bird: Cactus fruit.
Rango: Ah yes, the ancient cactus fruit. I heard you people use it as seasoning to prepare your native dishes. [starts to eat the cactus]
Wounded Bird: Also, natural laxative. [Rango spits the cactus fruit out.] Shh, pick up trail! Three men, heading west. One blind, one with... [sniffs the air] enlarged prostate, riding sidesaddle.
Waffles: What he say?
Fergus: They're ridin' sidesaddle!
Beans: Shh, we're whispering!
Buford: What'd he say?
Sergeant Turley: Someone's got a bad valve!
Doc: Alright, which one of you fellas needs a checkup?
Wounded Bird: Awkward.
Waffles: Uh, what exactly are we gonna do now?
Rango: Now, we ride!

(Rango notices a hole popping out the road, Ezekiel and Jedidiah pop out)

Jedidiah: This ain't the bank!
Ezekiel: I told you, Jedidiah!
Rango: HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!!
Ezekiel: It's the sheriff!
Rango: Get your hands up where I can see'em! [Ezekiel and Jedidiah do so] Just as I though,[puts his gun away] prospecting without the authorized equipment. Don't move a muscle. [walks away, and then comes back with equipment] Got your shovel, pickax, Benedryl, loofah, assorted snacks, some puzzle books, and you're gonna need a permit.
Balthazar: [shouts out from the hole] EZEKIEL! JEDIDIAH! WHAT THE SAM HILL IS GOING ON UP THERE?!?[comes out of the hole while whacking Ezekiel and Jedidiah on the head] I'VE HAD POLYPS REMOVED SMARTER THAN THE TWO OF YOU!!! [sniffs the air] Hell's fire! This ain't the bank!
Ezekiel: Hey, Pappy, the sheriff's standing right here, helping us out.
Jedidiah: Gonna give us a permit for prospecting.
Rango: Yep, just doing my duty. The lonely constable keeping an eagle eye out for mayhem and malfeasance.
Balthazar: Does he look like what he sounds?
Jedidiah: Uh, huh.
Balthazar: Well, sheriff, if we was to hit the mother load, being prospectors and such, where exactly do we deposit said annuity?
Rango: Well, here in the town of Dirt, we happen to have the best financial institution in this side of Missouri. [points to the Bank of Dirt] Protected morning, noon and night by yours truly. [gives Balthazar the permit]
Balthazar: Much obliged.

[Bad Bill and his gang fire their guns at a citizen]

Bad Bill: DANCE FOR ME, SOD BUSTER!!!
Kinski: DANCE LIKE A CHICKEN!!!
Chorizo: THAT'S RIGHT, DANCE!!!
Bad Bill: YOU GOT CORN IN YOUR EARS, MATE?!? YOU DON'T PAY THE MORTGAGE, YOU DON'T OWN THE LAND!!!
Kinski: Ja, that's basic real estate law estate law my friend!
Chorizo: Quid pro quo!
Bad Bill: [points a dagger at Sod Buster] If I see your face in this town again, I will slice it off, and use it to wipe my unmentionables.
Stump: Mind the beak.
Bad Bill: [kicks Sod Buster out of the saloon] AND DON'T COME BACK!!!

Mayor: My friends! We all know what we have to do now.
Rango: That's right we all know what we have to do now. And that would be...
Mayor:[very quietly]] Form a posse.
Rango: Form a possum! [the people stare at him in disbelief]
Mayor:[still very quietly] A posse.

Sergeant Turley: Well, that there's a pipe! It's gotta be connected to something!
Elgin: Oh, you talk too much! Why don't you put a cork in it?!
Sergeant Turley: Why don't you put a cork... Who tell you where the sun don't shine?
Elgin: Your mama did! I'll cook her right up!
Buford: You guys don't get it, do you? Someone or something is messing with our hydration, and that pipe has something to do with it!
Elgin: I thought we was following bank robbers!
Sergeant Turley: We're experiencing a paradigm shift!
Elgin: I'm gonna shift the features on your face if you don't SHUT UP!!
Sergeant Turley: Well, go ahead and try!!!

Rango: [gives a torch to Spoons] Now, I'm dependin' on you, Spoons. [Spoons spits on his beard] Ooh, you got a little tobaccy in the beard there. [Spoons jumps into the hole, Rango gives a torch to Doc] Always good to have a medical man along, Doc. [Doc jumps into the hole, Rango gives a torch to Buford] Reptiles gotta stick together, right, my brother?
Buford: I'm an amphibian.
Rango: Ain't no shame in that. [Buford jumps into the hole, Rango is about to give a torch to Sergeant Turley, but then sees the arrow through his right eye] Ya sure you're fit for duty there, soldier?
Sergeant Turley: What?
Rango: Well, you got something in you eye there.
Sergeant Turley: Oh, that! That there's conjunctivitis, sir. It's hereditary.
Rango: Oh, glad to hear it's not contagious.[gives the torch to Sergeant Turley, whom jumps into the hole, Rango is about to give a torch to Beans, but then stops] NOW JUST WAIT A COTTON-PICKIN' MINUTE!! A POSSE AIN'T NO PLACE FOR A-- [Beans swipes the torch away and then jumps into the hole] Never mind. [looks at Priscilla] Whoa, hold on, little Missy. Someone has to watch the town while I'm gone. [Priscilla takes out two guns]
Priscilla: Can I gut-shoot someone?
Rango: [nervously] Uh, let's put a pin in that.
Priscilla: Sheriff, you're gonna bring that water back, aren't you?
Rango: Count on it, little sister.

Waffles: Marshmallows remind of going campin' with my daddy. I could eat'em all night long! [Waffles' marshmallow gets caught on fire] Of course, he didn't make me cough'em back up again for breakfast.
Buford: [eats Waffles' marshmallow] This one time, I coughed up an entire dalmatian.
Elgin: That ain't nuthin. I coughed up a whole tribe of pygmies. They started looking at me weird.
Fergus: I remember them, they was quite friendly.
Spoons: I found a human spinal column in my fecal matter once. [everyone looks at Spoons in disbelief]
Sergeant Turley: You... might wanna get that looked at.
Doc: [chuckles nervously] Uh, pass the beans, Beans.
Beans: Sheriff?
Rango: Uh, no, thank you.
Spoons: So, Mr. Rango. Could you tell us about the Spirit of the West?
Doc: Oh, yeah. Tell us about that.
Waffles: Is it true what they say?
Rango: Oh, yeah. The Spirit of the West! The eternally unattainable idea! [draws pictures in the sky with a lit stick] They say he rides in an alabaster carriage with golden guardians to protect him! But he only appears to those who have undertaken an epic quest, and have made it to the other side. [everyone looks at Rango in astonishment]
Sergeant Turley: Uh, the other side of what?
Rango: It's a metaphor.[leans on the stick which then flings onto Waffles]
Waffles: Ow! My eye!
Rango: Uh, that's gonna heal right up.
Ambrose: Sheriff, what are you going to do about... [whispers] Rattlesnake Jake?
[rattling can be heard]
Rango: What?! Where?!
Spoons: [rattles his spoons] Sorry 'bout that. Word is you come against him once or twice.
Rango: Oh, yeah. Jake. You mean my brother.
Sergeant Turley: Your brother?!
Rango: THAT'S WHAT I SAID!
Buford: But he's a snake and you're a lizard.
Rango: Well, Mama had an active social life.
Fergus: Did he ever bite you?
Rango: Sure enough did! [shows everyone his belly button] Look at that baby! Go ahead, you can touch it!
Doc: Well, that's interestin'. [pokes his finger into Rango's belly button] That there's a belly button.
Rango: Luckily, I'm immune to his venom. I put some in my coffee just to give it a little tang.
Waffles: Is it true he's only scared of them hawks?
Rango: Them's what we call his natural predator.
[a coyote can be heard howling]
Sergeant Turley: All this talk of that serpentine devil's puttin' my quills on edge!
Buford: I ain't sleepin' tonight. No, sir!

[Rango wakes up in the middle of the desert and finds a golf cart with Oscars in the back]
Rango: Golden guardians. The alabaster carriage. [sees the Spirit of the West] The Spirit of the West. Um, excuse me, Mr. Spirit, sir?
The Spirit of the West: [picks up a fishing hook] Ah, there's a beaut. Sometimes, you gotta dig deep to find what you're looking for. [to Rango] So, you made it.
Rango: Is this heaven?
The Spirit of the West: If it were, we'd be eating Pop-Tarts with Kim Novak.
Rango: Yeah, no kiddin'. What are you doing here?
The Spirit of the West: Searching, same as you.
Rango: Yeah, I don't know what I'm looking for anymore. I don't even know who I am. They used to call you the Man with No Name.
The Spirit of the West: These days, they got a name for just about everything. It doesn't matter what they call you, it's the deeds that make the man.
Rango: But my deeds only things worse! I'm a fraud! I'm a phony! Those people need somebody. They need a hero.
The Spirit of the West: Then be a hero.
Rango: Oh, no. You don't understand. I'm not even supposed to be here.
The Spirit of the West: That's right. You came a long way to find something that isn't out here. Don't you see? It's not about you, it's about them.
Rango: But I can't go back.
The Spirit of the West: Don't know that you got a choice, son. [draws a rectangle in a dirty window] No man can walk out on his own story.

Rango: [disguising his voice as a woman wearing Beans' dress, while all the other prepare do to a skit] YOO-HOO! HA HA! Good sir! Precious! Good afternoon to thee and thee and thee! May I present, Madame Lupone's group of traveling thespians!
Balthazar: What's that?
Ezekiel: [while reading a book] I think they's thespians!
Balthazar: Thespians? That's illegal in seven states!
Rango: [still using his disguise voice] The stage is set! The princess prepares to take her own life!
Beans: [wearing the Wounded Bird's blanket and seen with a bored expression on her face] I yearn for love.
Rango: Meanwhile, the lone sentry stands watch at the castle gate!
Elgin: Hark, who goes there?
Balthazar: This plot's highly predictable.
Ezekiel: Quiet! This is my favorite part!
Rango: Arriving to great fanfare, 'twas her aging father! [the band of Elf Owls, also disguised in Medieval costumes, fanfare and Sergeant Turley enters kneeling with a wooden sword. Awkward silence. Then Rango remebers about the arrow in Turley's eye.] Strucketh by Cupid.
Sergeant Turley: [as he says his lines, Rango mouths them, unnoticed by Balthazar and his sons, to make sure Turley gets them right.] Uh, prithee, unhand my fair daughter and reach for the... uh... uh... line.
Ezekiel: REACH FOR THE SKY! [everyone suddenly pulls out loaded guns on the small family]
Balthazar: W-w-w-w-what was that?
Jedidiah: Oh, must be very immersive theater.

[Rango is playing golf with the mayor]
Rango: Sumthin' you said keeps spinnin' around in my frontal lobe.
Mayor: And what is that, Mr. Rango?
Rango: "Control the water, and you control everything."
Mayor: [chuckles] Come now, Mr. Rango. You tribute divine power to me. How on earth could I possibly control the water.
Rango: You seem to have mastered this game.
Mayor: I've been playing it for many years. I was here before the highway split this great valley, I watched the march in progress, and I learned a thing or two. Take a look, Mr. Rango. You can already see time passing.
[Rango looks through a telescope and sees gophers doing construction]
Rango: What are you building out here?
Mayor: The future, Mr. Rango. The future. Pretty soon, all this will fade into myth. The wild range, the lawman, the gunslinger. There's no place for them anymore. We're civilized now.
Bad Bill: That's right, civilized.
Mayor: That's what the future holds. You can either be part of it, or you can be left behind.
Rango: Is that what happened to Mr. Merrimack? Did he get left behind.
Mayor: Easy, Mr. Rango. You seem to forget you're just a little lizard.
Rango: You seem to forget I'm the law around these parts.

Rattlesnake Jake: [to Rango] Hello, brother. Thirsty? [fills glass with venom and throws it to the ground] Long time, brother. How you been keepin'?
Rango: Oh, well, you know-- [Jake quiets him with a loud hiss]
Rattlesnake Jake: I here you been tellin' about how you killed all them Jenkins brothers. With one bullet wasn't it? Ain't that right? All these good folks here believe your little stories, don't they? Why, they believe you're just a stone killer, don't they? Seems these folks trust you. They think you're gonna save their little town. They think you're gonna save their little souls! [Turns to Beans and licks her cheek before turning back to Rango] But we know better, don't we? So why don't you show your friends what you're made of? Show 'em who you really are? [pulls out gun] Why don't you pull your gun and shoot me? [Empties out bullets] But of course you won't need all of these. Just one, right? [gives Rango the gun and points it in his face] Go head, hero. Pull the trigger. [Rango doesn't shoot] You got killer in your eyes, son. I don't see it. [Rango lowers his gun] You didn't do any of them things you said, did you? You didn't kill them Jenkins Brothers. You ain't even from the West! Are you? [Rango doesn't speak] Say it!
Rango: [whispers] No.
Rattlesnake Jake: Oh, speak up! I don't think your friends here heard you.
Rango: No.
Rattlesnake Jake: All you've done is lie to these good people. You ain't nothing but a fake and a coward. Isn't that right?
Rango: [softly] Yes.
Rattlesnake Jake: LOUDER!
Rango: [Clearly] Yes.
Rattlesnake Jake: [slithers around Rango] Listen close, you pathetic fraud. This is my town now. If I ever see you again, I will take your soul straight down to HELL! [grabs Rango and drops him to his knees]

Rattlesnake Jake: [After the water bursts into Dirt] I'm gonna blow so many holes in you, your guts will be leaking lead!
Rango: Then it's a good thing I bought some backup.

[a hawk flys overhead. Jake sees it and runs for cover then notices something]

Rattlesnake Jake: What? [Sees the "hawk" was really a flock of bats flying in formation] Ain't no hawk! Ain't nothing but bats! [goes out in the open and shoots at the flock]
Maybelle: Stick to the plan, boys! Let's bleed the devil dry!

[The flock spreads out. Jake shoots and laughs like a madman until he runs out of ammo. He turns to see Rango aiming his gun at him]

Rango: It only takes one bullet.
Rattlesnake Jake: You ain't got the nerve.
Rango: Try me

Mayor: [about to shoot Rattlesnake Jake] You and the sheriff are more alike than you think: you're nothing but legends. Pretty soon, no one will believe you even existed.

Mayor: [After Rango and Beans are freed from the bank vault by a single bullet] Now, Sheriff, I'm sure if we work together, we can reach a mutually beneficial solution to our current situation.
Rango: You better take it up with him. [turns the Mayor round on his shell to face Jake]
Rattlesnake Jake: [seeing the single bullet] One bullet. [Turns to Rango and tips his hat at him] I tip my hat to you. One legend to another. [Rango tips his hat as well] [Mayor whimpers helplessly as Jake turns to him] What was that you said? "Pretty soon, no one will believe you even existed." [Grabs the Mayor in his coils and carries him out to the desert]

Cast[edit]

Taglines[edit]

  • From the director of Pirates Of The Caribbean

External links[edit]

Wikipedia
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