Rayman is a series of video games made by Ubi Soft. This is a collection of quotes from and about the series.
- Narrator (The Magician): Hi folks! You wanna know what's going on? Let me tell you the story of Rayman! In Rayman's world, nature and people lived together in peace. The Great Protoon provides and maintains the harmony and balance in the world. Sorry folks, this apparently can't last. One fateful day, the evil Mr Dark steals The Great Protoon and defeats Betilla the fairy as she tries to protect it! The Electoons, who used to gravitate around it, lose their natural stability and scatter all over the world! Troublesome, isn't it? And untidy too. In this now unbalanced world, strange phenomena begin to occur, freaks and hostile characters appear, capturing every Electoon they can find! They definitely need a hero to save them now...don't you think? RAYMAN TO THE RESCUE!!!!
- Rayman: No Problem!
- Narrator (The Magician): Go and free the Electoons, Rayman, and bring back The Great Protoon from its mysterious kidnapper!...But will the bad guys let him do it?
Rayman 2 The Great Escape 
Guy's Voice (Narrator): [off-screen] Rayman, look what the Pirates have done to our world... A planet of anguish and pain, haunted by evil. A dark place, teeming with fierce monsters. Nothing can stop them, now that they've captured you. They've taken everything and reduced our people to slaves. The Robots search for innocent prey. In the chaos they exploded the Heart of the World. The 1000 lums of energy which form it have been scattered. We are getting weak. Soon it will be to late... You must escape, Rayman, you are our only hope. Narrator: The Buccaneer, The Pirates' Prison Ship, Commander: The Admiral Razorbeard. Over 16521 are on board as slaves and still rising.
Ly: Wake up, Rayman. I will send you some help.
- Baby Globoxes: Daddy saved Rayman! Where's daddy?
- Rayman: Uh, that is to say we were seperated, and uh...
- Baby Globoxes: [crying] Not daddy Globox? We want our daddy!
- Rayman: Now don't worry kiddies! I'll bring your dad back! But first I've got to find Ly. She likes to hang out around here. Have you seen her? What?
- Baby Globoxes: [still crying] The mean old Pirates took Ly over there!
- Rayman: Hmmmm... I've got to set her free!
- First Teensie: [wearing crown] Splendid, Rayman! I'm the king of the Teensies. I congratulate you on your courage.
- Second Teensie: [steals crown] Don't listen to him! I'm the king of the Teensies!
- Rayman: But...
- Third Teensie: [steals crown] No! I'm the real king!
- Rayman: Come on, who's the king?
- Fourth Teensie: It's me!
- Third Teensie: [steals crown] Me
- Second Teensie: [steals crown] Me
- First Teensie: [steals crown] Me
- Second Teensie: [steals crown] Me
- Third Teensie: [steals crown] Me me!
- Fourth Teensie: [steals crown] No, me!
- Rayman: STOP! I absolutely must see Ly. Do you know where she is?
- [The Teensies start to edge away from the third Teensie, who quickly places the crown on the second's head and edges to one side]
- Second Teensie: [glances around and realises he is on his own] Uh... This is not easy for me to say, but I have to tell you this: the Pirates have taken Ly to the Fairy Glade, and they've locked her in one of their strongholds. To find her, you'll need to go through the Hall of Doors. The Hall is a magic place. It leads to many other worlds. Only we, the Teensies, know how to get there. The passage requires 5 lums, but I see that you have them. Prepare yourself for a great journey...
- Admiral Razorbeard: Who dares to disturb me?!
- Razorbeard's lackey: Your horribleness, he... he has made it to the swamps!
- Admiral Razorbeard: WHAT?! You incompetent imbecile! Grrrrr! Send the warships and destroy him! He mustn't get his grubby hands on the four masks.
- Axel: Who is it, that dares to disturb the tranquility of this place?!
- Rayman: But... I'm Rayman!
- Axel: "Rayman"? The name means nothing to me! What do you want?!
- Rayman: I have to gather the four masks to bring Polokus back. This is our last chance to scare the Pirates away!
- Axel: How am I to be sure that you are not simply a thief?! Only your strength and bravery can convince me! Prepare to fight!!
- Rayman: Thank you, Umber!
- Umber: It is an honor to serve a hero such as yourself! I have to warn you: A group of killers is hot on your trail! I have deciphered their auras. They're Ninja Henchman!
- Rayman: Ninja Henchman?!
- Umber: They are very dangerous, but there is one weakness: Their hooks are heavy and difficult to use.
- Rayman: I'll find a way of turning this to my advantage. Thanks!
- Umber: You're welcome, Rayman! Take care!
- Razorbeard: What is it?!
- Razorbeard's Lackey: Your Ferocity, he already has two masks!
- Razorbeard: You idiotic fool! [throws his hat at his lackey] Go get him, and bring him to me! Dead or alive!
- Rayman: I can't fly anymore! (looks behind him, and notices the guardian) You! You're the guard, is that right!
- Foutch: Yes. And you, are you Rayman, the Mask-Thief?!
- Rayman: I'm not a thief, I need the masks! To rid the world of the Robo-Pirates!
- Foutch: Well, I say you are a thief! A thief and a liar, to boot! Prepare to die!
- Rayman: But... he's completely crazy!
- Razorbeard: Now what?!
- Razorbeard's Lackey: He has the third mask!
- Razorbeard: But that's not possible! If he finds the fourth mask, I'm coming for you!
- Salesman: Rayman poisoning your life? I've got the antidote. Equipped with the latest power booster, nothing can stop it. You can control it yourself, or put it in self-pilot. It can kill, crush, destroy, torture, pull ears, its legs are programmed to squash fleeing victims... In short, it does everything, except the dishes. Don't forget the name of this marvel: the Grolgoth!
- Razorbeard: Hum... Hum...
- Salesman: Decide quickly, I have other clients waiting...
- Razorbeard: With this, I could destroy Rayman. Crush him... Smash him! (thinking that he'll hurt poor Rayman's feelings and destroy him) I'll take it!
- Salesman: You won't regret it!
- Razorbeard: Here's your money! It's all there, count it if you like.
- Salesman: Oh, I trust you! You won't be dissapointed.
- Razorbeard: Come here, you useless grub!
- Razorbeard's Lackey: Rayman has the four masks and he's on the ship
- Razorbeard: You failed me again. I warned you, didn't I? Let's see how well you swim in molten lava! Meanwhile, I'll have to handle this little problem myself. Prepare the Grolgoth! I know how to lure Rayman to me.
Rayman 3 Hoodlum Havoc 
- Rayman: Yay! Go me!
- Murfy: That's all folks! End of cinematic. Time to get down to some serious playing.
- Murfy: They're shooting at us! How original of them.
- Murfy: OK, you did a little better. I'll reward you with your first parachute jump. Parachute not included!
- Murfy: Ugh, look out Rayman! André's a Black Lum, and Black Lums are twisted. Maybe he'll even force Globox to drink plum-juice, and we all know Globox is allergic to plum-juice! See you in Rayman 4!
- Murfy: This manual looks like a bust. There's bound to be one or two useful things in it! It says here that you hit the jump button in order to jump. Wowee... now that's what I call info. And it says here that you need to hit the shoot button when you want to attack... Come on, don't tell me guys get paid to write this junk!
- Tortoise: [after being kicked by Rayman] Ooh! My heart! Ow. Oh... my bladder!
- Murfy: What? This is out of control! The manual claims you can make a chopper out of your hair! "Make a chopper of your hair..." Hah! Sounds like someone's been eating paint chips again!
- Manual: Hey, Murfy - watch your language, will you?! There may be kids watching.
- Murfy: This manual just blows my mind - heh, it explains that switches trigger mechanisms. Duh! Puh-leez, who's responsible for this garbage?
- Manual: This is getting a bit too much! Do you want to get thrown out, or what??
- Globox: Hello stars! Hello nature! What's your name, little flower? Rose? My name's Globox.
- Globox: Guess what? I dreamt I was pregnant. It was great! I craved strawberries!
- Globox: Wow, Rayman! You turned on the light! Pretty...
- [André and two Slapdashes arrive and chase him into the Fairy Council]
- Murfy: What'd I tell ya? Here come the thugs again!
- Manual: André! You're supposed to say that the bad guy's called André! Stick to the script, will you?
- Murfy: Figures. They're raiding the Fairy Council! Enough is enough. I was told that after Rayman 2, I'd be cast as a tormented artist who falls for a girl with great big... uh, eyes. And here I am, playing sidekick again in a low-budget flick. Yeesh!
- Ludiv: Oh my god, what is going on here?! Will you mind being a bit more quiet?!
- André: Buzz off, fairy! Zelda needs you!
- Murfy: Don't let him escape!
- Ludiv: Is that you, Mary Lou?
- André: Beat it! [opens the door] The Heart of the World... is this way!
- Ludiv: Oh, no! It's an unspeakable atrocity! André's gonna reach the heart! It's the end of the world as we know it!
- Lesson: Wanna Kick Rayman? Train yourself! A collection of 547 video & DVD. Buy 546, get one free!
- Globox: [when punched] Defeat is a relative concept.
- Globox: [when punched] Quit it! The manual says you're my best friend!
- Globox: [when punched] You better look out or we're gonna be censored. It's bad enough that I'm butt-naked.
[Rayman punches him again]
- Globox: We're gonna be rated PG13!
- Globox: [when punched] You've seen too many gladiator flicks!
- Globox: [when punched] If I had a hammer...
- Globox: [when punched] I'm a lover, not a fighter!
- Globox: [when punched] Uh, um... I'm gonna barf...
- André : [If Rayman punches Globox] You've got no arms, you've got no legs, and soon you'll have no head!
- André: [if Rayman punches Globox] Come in here and try that!
- Globox: [when punched] You were nicer in Rayman 2.
- André: Get me a drink or I start nibbling his arteries!
- Globox: Rayman, do something!
- Teensie: I'd love to stay and chat, but it's bingo night!
- Globox: [drunk on plum juice] Unidentified flying object from a galaxy far far away! Submit to my power! I repeat; SUBMIT TO MY POWER!
- Bégoniax: Arrgh! Augh, you little Peeping Tom! You ought to be ashamed! Oh, I'm gonna kill you!
- Rayman: I'm sorry, I - I - I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...
- Bégoniax: I don't want to hear about it. Take your filthiness somewhere else!
- Bégoniax: It's that pervert again! Come fight me if you're man enough! What's your problem, you afraid of girls?
- Globox: Ah, the Land of the Livid Dead, at last! In any case, it's nice and calm here. And here I was expecting a scary place filled with terrifying ghouls. Oh, silly Globox!
- André: "Silly Globox"? "Silly Globox"?!? WHO IS THIS BONEHEAD?!?!
- Roméo: Oh dear... Oh, no, nothing can be done. You see, the Black Lum has, like, totally lodged himself in your brain - see? - and the problem is, I can't find it. But I know a guy who can help you. He's, like, a specialist in, like, hollow cavities, and he lives in the desert of the Knaaren. Well, gotta go; need to go water my plants.
- Teensie: I have to go wash my armpits!
- Teensie: I have to go pickle my hamster!
- First Knaaren: My dad is stronger than your dad!
- Second Knaaren: No way! My dad is stronger than your dad! I've heard his friends say he can even pick up a dog!
- Third Knaaren: Euagh! Would you guys just please stop talking about your dads?!
- Teensie: I have to go potty-train my anteater!
- First Knaaren: Since Sally died, I feel so alone. No-one to hold in my arms. No-one to love.
- Second Knaaren: C'mon, turn that frown upside-down! I'm sure you can find another rat!
Reflux : (Pushes two other knaaren's out of his way, looking at Rayman) 'Step aside, he's mine!'
- Reflux: You seem quite clever, stranger. That's good. I like clever people - their brains are tastier!
Reflux : Let's see how you handle yourself, in the arena!
- Globox: Rayman, over hear!
- Gumsi: SILENCE!!!
- Globox: Hey, Rayman! That's my friend out there!
- Gumsi: I SAID SILEEENCE!!!!!!
- Globox: Go get him, Rayman! Make him eat his hood!
- Gumsi: Would you shut up, you stupid toad?! Now Reflux is my champion, and no Knaaren has ever defeated him! You think a limbless little runt has a chance against him?! Yes, Rayman will shine in the the arena, WHEN REFLUX IS BURNING HIS CORPSE!!!
- Teensie: I have to g-g-g-go finish my snowman!
- Globox: Andy's here someplace, I just know it! That little guy was starting to grow on me...
- Toots: [over intercom] Good day! You are entering the headquaters of the Black Lums. Exterior temperature: minus 61 degrees. Interior temperature: 98.6 degrees and rising!
- Globox: Wow... that lady's got a lovely voice. I'd sure like to meet her - rrrrowl!
- Teensie: I have to go. I'm late for my drum solo.
- Teensie: I have to go finish inventing chocolate toothpaste, mon!
- Teensie: I have to g-g-g-g-go tell it on the mountain!
- Globox: Look, Rayman! Some of Andy's little friends came over to play. Now this is fun! Red Leader to Yellow Leader; enemy at 8 o' clock! I repeat, enemy at 8 o' clock!
- Globox: Check out these gears - remarkable! André's already into heavy machinery. What a precocious child!
- Globox: Andy? Rumour has it you're about to summon the mighty Tetris. Say it isn't so!
- André: Wow, Reflux! You're so big and strong!
- Reflux: Yes, Andy.
- André: With the energy from your mighty sceptre, I will be able to reproduce infinitely! Gwah ha ha hyuk hyuk!
- Reflux: Yes, Andy.
- André: "Yes, Andy. Yes, Andy." CAN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING ELSE?!?!
- Reflux: No, Andy.
- André: I said I'd serve you Rayman on a platter. Bon apetit! Gwah ha ha hya hya!
- Reflux: Thanks, Andy!
- Globox: Good day, sir! Have you seen André? He's a somewhat rowdy Black Lum - likes destroying the world, but he's very sweet once you get to know 'im!
- Reflux: GRRROOAARR!!!
- Globox: Well, that guy doesn't seem very friendly. I mean, wasn't I polite to him? Maybe he's the one who's captured André, and that's why we can't find him!
- Globox: Hang on, Andy! We're gonna get ya outta there!
- André: Shuddup, you ignoramus!
- Globox: Did you here that, Rayman? It's André! He's in there! He called me an "ignoramus". That old sweet-talker!
Globox: Rayman! Look what I found! I can't find the breaks!
Rayman: Globox! Globox, Are you ok?! Globox!
Globox Heh, Heh, admit it, you were scared. want a lift? Ahhh, my shades!
Rayman: Yahoo! Alright Ladies and Gents, let's roll!
"We can no longer even keep track of all the sinister consequences of the pirates' arrival: disturbances in the natural order of things, the proliferation of piranhas, giant spiders and caterpillars, etc... Terrified by all of these events, the hens began laying dead eggs, out of which burst the horrible Zombie Chickens." ~ Rayman 2 manual
"Thus was born the army of Hoodlums - raring to spread their mischief and idiocy throughout the Crossroads. No-one could put a stop to them! So guess who had to interrupt his siesta to go and sort things out? (I'll give you a clue: the answer's on the cover of this manual)" ~ Rayman 3 manual
"Globox - Rayman's best friend has at last got the role of his life: not only does he mistakenly swallow André, the chief of the black Lums, but he's also chased by the Hoodlum army, who're trying to get their boss back. A real character part!" ~ Rayman 3 manual
"Murfy - A ridiculous, pretentious greenbottle. Despite his stupidity, this upstart has succeeded in landing the role of coach - the only explanation for which is a disgraceful bit of string-pulling!* Ubisoft would like to state that the manual does not accept responsibility for these comments." ~ Rayman 3 manual
"The Hoodlums - After some punishing auditions, the developers have brought together the worst army ever, made up of the dumbest enemies." ~ Rayman 3 manual
"Select 'New Game' to begin a new game. If the words 'Nuovo gioco' appear, you've got the wrong language and chosen Italian." ~ Rayman 3 manual
"By validating 'Screen Centring', you can adjust the position of the image on the screen with the left analog stick or the directional buttons. Use this option if you want your mum and dad to think the TV's broken and it's time to by a sexy high-tech number to replace it!" ~ Rayman 3 manual
"Pick-Ups. These are splendid jewels that the game developers have scattered around purely for aesthetic reasons." ~ Rayman 3 manual
On the series 
- "Hi, everybody! Welcome to E3. Unfortunately, it was impossible for me to be with you here in Los Angeles. As you know, we are working very hard on Rayman 4 - it's quite big and very important project - but I decided to take a few seconds..." (pauses and looks around, suspiciously) "...a few seconds to present you the story, the characters, and all the new features that will be in Rayman 4. Ah, first of all, the big feature will be the fact that there will be..." (at this point both Ancel and the cameraman are beaten up by a horde of Rabbids and the picture cuts out) ~ Michel Ancel, Rayman's creator, at the Rayman: Raving Rabbids stand at E3
- "The Rabbids are hundreds and they are vicious, but at the same time they are totally stupid" ~ Michel Ancel interviewed on IGN
- "...DAAAAAAH!!!" ~ The entire cast of "Rayman: Raving Rabbids"