Regular Show is a cartoon series on Cartoon Network. It involves Mordecai (a blue jay) and his friend Rigby (a raccoon) in their insane and exciting adventures, all during their job at the local park. Joining them are Muscle Man (a short, green, overweight man), Hi Five Ghost (a ghost with a hand extending out from his head), Benson (an anthropomorphic gumball machine), Pops Maellard (a lollipop man), Skips (a yeti), Thomas (a goat), Margaret (a robin), Eileen (a mole), Starla (an overweight, green-breasted woman) Gary (the messenger for the Guardians of Eternal Youth), Mr. Maellard (another lollipop man), Death (a Grim Reaper), Garrett Bobby Ferguson (a floating head), and Garrett Bobby Ferguson Jr. (another floating head who wears a suit).
Season 1 
The Power [1.1a] 
- Mordecai and Rigby: Go away, Skips! It's time for you to go away!
- Mordecai: It's time for you to go to your room!
- Rigby: Yeah, Skips. It's time for you to go to the moon!
- Skips: Wahh! [disappears]
- Mordecai: [gasps] Where'd he go?
- Rigby: Uhh...
- Rigby: Hamboning will save your life someday! You'll be all like, "What? You tryin' to mug me?" [starts hamboning]
- Skips: You guys shouldn't be doing what you just did.
- Rigby: What? The flying, or the hole?
- Skips: What hole?
- Rigby: [mutters to Mordecai] Dude, get to The Power...he knows...
- Mordecai: Dude, wish him back!
- Rigby: But it doesn't work that way!
- Mordecai: What do you mean!?
- Rigby: I can't see him, can I?
- Mordecai: Then we have to go get him!
- Rigby: But he's gonna be pissed!
- Benson: And let's have it...
- Rigby: What?
- Benson: The forty dollars that you two conned out of me with that stupid keyboard crap!!!
- Rigby: A bunch of baby ducks...send 'em to the moon! Soda machine that doesn't work...send 'em to the moon!
Just Set Up the Chairs [1.1b] 
- Mordecai and Rigby: OOOOHHHHH!!!! Not settin' up the chairs next time! Not settin' up the chairs next time! UUHH!
- Benson: ...Just set up the chairs...
- Rigby: Benson's gonna drop his balls when he sees how good we set up these chairs! He's gonna be all like, "Oh no, mah gumballs!"
- Rigby: [limply presses against door] It won't open. Let's get outta here!
- Mordecai: You try the actual doorknob?
- Rigby: [groans] You're KILLING me!
- Pops: Oh, who unleashed the Destroyer of Worlds? Good show!
- Mordecai: Dude, you kill the Destroyer of Worlds! I'm gonna go get the chairs!
- Benson: ...Happy Birthday, Ji-
- Jimmy: JUST DRIVE THE BUS, YOU CRAZY SLOPJOCKEY!!!!
- Benson: YOU IDIOTS!!! That's the last time I entrust you with something important, like the CHAIRS!
- Mordecai and Rigby: ....OOOOHHH!!!! Not settin' up the chairs next time! Not settin' up the chairs next time!
- Benson: But you ARE gonna clean up this mess, and you can start by sweeping up the special entertainment!!
Caffeinated Concert Tickets [1.2a] 
- Rigby: Going to this concert could be the biggest moment of my life.
- Mordecai: Wow, sounds like your life sucks.
- Rigby: SHUT UP!!!
- Rigby: I can't believe you're going to a Fist Pump concert just for some lady-pecs!
- Mordecai: You know, at first I thought you were cool, but now I know that you're both total losers.
- Rigby: Everybody hates you!
- Mordecai: Oh, and I just realized something...
- Translator: What?
- Mordecai: Your coffee...sucks.
- Mordecai and Rigby: OOOOHHHHHHH!!!!
- Rigby: [tiredly] Dude, I'm fading fast...
- Mordecai: Don't worry, dude. We just gotta fight it with COFFEEEEE!!! [pulls up coffee pot]
- Mordecai: Who needs luck when we have COFFEEEE!
- Mordecai and Rigby: [tiredly] Ooooohhhh....
- Rigby: Dude, seriously, though? My eyes won't stay open anymore, and I think we're almost out of coffee...
- Coffee Bean: Coffee coffee, coffee coffee coffee! Coffee, coffee coffee coffee coffee. [pulls out contract; on it the word "coffee" is written multiple times]
- Rigby: Oh, cool! A contract! Let's sign it!
Death Punchies [1.2b] 
- Rigby: Looks like you've learned the ways of Death Kwon Do.
- Mordecai: Looks like you know how to say things that people are already aware of.
- Sensei: You're not pure of heart!
- Rigby: What?! Don't call me not pure of heart! What about you, with your crappy mullet? You're the one who's not pure of heart!!
- Rigby: How come you're not dead yet?
- Mordecai: Probably because I learned...the Death Block! [holds up picture of the Death Block] It worked pretty good for a first try...either that, or your Death Punch totally blows.
- Rigby: I'LL KILL YOU!!!
- Rigby: Aw, what?! I wanted to be player one!
- Mordecai: Dude, I'm player one. You're player two.
- Rigby: I don't wanna be player two! He just digs with the sucky pickaxe. I want the one with the shovel.
- Mordecai: Dude, they're exactly the same!
- Rigby: Then why don't you be player two?
- Mordecai: [scoffs] I'm not using that sucky pickaxe.
- Mordecai: We-oo! We-oo! We-oo! [imitating a doctor] Quick, doctor. Both of these buttcheeks are unrecognizable! If we want anybody to recognize this as a butt in the future, then we're gonna have to do a complete butt transplant, STAT!
- Rigby: STOP TALKING!!! There was only damage to the one cheek, and you know it!
- Mordecai: [laughs] That's right! We used to call you the "One-Cheek Wonder!" Dude, I'm bringing it back.
- Rigby: You better not!
(Muscle Man appears)
- Muscle Man: Is that One-Cheek Wonder? I hope he's not trying to play punchies will cheeks like those.
- Sensei: [after Rigby steals the Death Punch] NNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
- Death Kwon Do Student: Sensei? Uhm....i think somebody just Death Kwon clogged the toilet.
- Sensei: NNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
- Rigby: Aw, what?! Snails are bad? I thought snails were good!
- Mordecai: No, dude. Snails are bad.
- Rigby: Aw man, this sucks!...I wanna be player two.
Free Cake [1.3a] 
- Rigby: There's that chocolate cake at the snack bar!
- Mordecai: Yeah...but Benson will only let you have it for free if it's your birthday.
- Rigby: Who's to say it's not my birthday?
- Mordecai: ...Who's to say it's not MY birthday?
- Mordecai and Rigby: FREE CAKE! FREE CAKE!!
- Benson: It's NEITHER of your birthdays.
- Rigby: Aw, man! He's killing us with that!
- Mordecai and Rigby: No cake....no cake....
- Benson: Hit the lights, it's almost 8 pm.
- [lights go out; unzipping of clothes is heard]
- Muscle Man: WOOOO!! Skips is gonna be so surprised when he comes in and sees us totally naked!
- Benson: It's not that kind of party, Muscle Man...
- Muscle Man: Oohhhh....don't turn on the lights...
- Wedding Entryman: Do you know the bride, or the groom?
- Mordecai and Rigby: Uhhhh...
- Mordecai: The one with the cake?
- Wedding Entryman: [quickly closes red rope to wedding]
- Mordecai and Rigby: [groan loudly]
- Rigby: Oh man. Oh man. Oh man, oh man!!! Mordecai! Check it out! [puts plate on table] I found it in the trash out back. Isn't it cool?
- Mordecai: Dude. You gotta stop pulling stuff out of the trash. It's unnatural.
- Rigby: You're unnatural!
- Skips: You guys almost killed me for some cake?!
- Mordecai: Don't touch that cake.
- Rigby: It's a medical emergency!
- Mordecai: You just ate a sandwich!
- Rigby: Are you a doctor now? Did you go to medical school in the past five minutes?
Meat Your Maker [1.3b] 
- Mordecai: [puts arms up]
- Rigby: No. No, don't!
- Mordecai: It's too late. [begins to move arms together]
- Rigby: Come on, dude. Don't!
- Mordecai: It's already in motion.
- Rigby: Well, put it out of motion!!
- Mordecai: [crosses arms] You pissed me off.
- Pops: Oh, it's been a while since I've had a grilled meat link!
- Rigby: No! Dude, don't be mad at me! Mordecai, don't die mad at me!
- Leader Hot Dog: We don't want to be eaten...we want to eat you!
- Mordecai: Just give it up, dude. I knew you couldn't fix it...
- Rigby: Dude, I fix stuff all the time!
- Mordecai: No, you don't!
- Rigby: What do you mean?!
- Mordecai: The cart, the shoes, the party, that other party...
- Rigby: Stop right there! You know Muscle Man pushed me!
- Mordecai: Muscle Man wasn't even there!!
- Rigby: Fine, I'll fix it!
- Mordecai: Dude, that was awesome.
- Rigby: I told you I'd fix it!
- Mordecai: I knew you would.
Grilled Cheese Deluxe [1.4a] 
- Mordecai: Hey, you know what would go good with these sandwiches? Funny internet videos! [starts typing] Dude, check this out.
- Rigby: [takes over typing] No, wait! I know a really good one!
- Mordecai: No, man! You're just gonna pull up that ostrich thing with the balls again!
- [Ostrich video]
- [ostrich goes up to bat at a tee-ball]
- Old Lady: Don't get too close, Carl!
- [ostrich hits ball, then kicks the old man in the groin]
- Benson: What happened to my sandwich?!
- Rigby: [rambling] There were spacemen...at Cheezers...and the two...we went down and...everyone wore sweatpants...even us...and then the room...with the bad stuff...but...we saved the city with your sandwich.
- Benson: [groans] Why do you always have to lie to my face?
- Mordecai: We ran it over by accident...
- Benson: ....See? Was it so hard to tell the truth?
- Mordecai: I'm a better liar than you are!
- Rigby: Oh, really? The only thing you're better then me at is being a big piece of---
- Mordecai: [punches Rigby in the stomach]
- Mordecai: I have to tell you the truth...I have a condition that makes me forget everything in times of extreme stress. Lieutenant Rigs doesn't have the condition...he's just an idiot.
- Rigby: HEY!!!
- Astronaut: IF YOU EVER LIE ABOUT BEING ASTRONAUTS AGAIN, YOU'RE DEAD!!!
- Rigby: WE SAVED THE CITY, ASTRO--- [gets hit in the face with sandwich bag]
The Unicorns Have Got to Go [1.4b] 
- Rigby: If you buy that cologne, then I'm gonna lose all respect for you!
- Mordecai: Good. Then we'll both have the same amount of respect for each other.
- Pops: Mordecai, Rigby! Wonderful day we're ha---[smells air, then smells Mordecai's cologne] [cries and runs away]
- Mordecai and Rigby: Hey, Skips...
- Rigby: We have a problem.
- Skips: Unicorns?
- Rigby: How'd you know?
- Skips: They peed on my lawn...
- Mordecai: Hey, I thought you were gonna help me with Margaret. [puts hand on unicorn's shoulder]
- Unicorn: SOMETHING'S TOUCHING ME! [elbows Mordecai]
- Unicorn: Oh, we'll tell you what to do...but first you must drink from the Cup of Knowledge... [brings up cup of blue liquid]
- Mordecai: [drinks liquid, then immediately spits it out] Aw, SICK! What was that?!
- Unicorn: It's definately not Unicorn Slump!!
Prank Callers [1.5a] 
- Rigby: [calls Pops]
- Pops: Hello?
- Rigby: Hello, Pops?
- Pops: Yes?
- [Rigby and Mordecai laugh softly]
- Rigby: Please hold for a collect call from.....Joe Mama!
- [Mordecai and Rigby laugh]
- Mordecai: [calls Benson]
- Benson: Hello?
- Mordecai: Hey, Benson, got any books by.....Joe Mama!?
- Benson: Who is this?
- [Mordecai and Rigby laugh loudly]
- Benson: [from phone] Wherever this is coming from, I will track you down and I will find yo-!
- Mordecai: Dude, he's still on the phone!
- Rigby: He's STILL on the phone!?
- Mordecai: He's still on the phone!!!
- [both convulse in fits of laughter]
- Benson: HANG UP THAT PHONE!! You think your little pranks are funny? Huh? You think they're funny? What do you guys think of my prank? [imitates phone ring] Ring, ring. [answers phone] Hello? What's that? Mordecai and Rigby are banned from using the house phone? Okay. [rips phone from wall and smashes it to pieces in fury] GOOD LUCK MAKING YOUR PRANK CALLS NOW!!!!!
- Rigby: Time to put an end to this junk-fest!! [calls Master Prank Caller, but is immediately hung up on]
- Mordecai: Looks like the junk-fest just got a new member.
- Master Prank Caller: The 80s called...they STILL want ya!
- [80s clothes appear on Mordecai and Rigby]
- Mordecai and Rigby: AAAHHHH!!!
- Mordecai: Aw, man! These aren't even the cool clothes from the 80s!!
- Master Prank Caller: I'm gonna prank you so hard, you're BOTH gonna poop a duke! The 1980s called...they want their cell phones back!
Don [1.5b] 
- Muscle Man: I know someone who could help.
- Benson: If you say your Mom, you're fired!
- Muscle Man: .....MY MOM!
- Benson: GET OUT!
- Muscle Man: It was worth it!
- Don: Benson, give me some sugar! [hugs Benson] Nice to meet you! [points to Pops] Hey, who's this guy?
- Pops: I'm Pops!
- Don: Pops, give me some sugar!
- Pops: [runs laughing to Don and hugs him]
- Don: [hugs Skips] Don. Good to meet you. [to Mordecai] Look at this sugar shack. C'mere, guy! I haven't seen you in forvever.
- Mordecai: [hugs Don] Yeah, I know! It's been forever!
- Don: Rigby, give me some sugar, bro!
- Rigby: [jealous] Don't you have taxies to do? Why don't you get to it?!
- Don: He was always greedy with the sugar...
- Benson: You be nice to your brother, or YOU'RE FIRED!!!
- Benson: Don, wait!...What happened?!
- Mordecai: Rigby blew it! He wouldn't give Don 'sugar'!
- Benson: WHAT?! GO GIVE HIM SOME SUGAR!!!
- Rigby: NEVERRRRRR!!!!!
Rigby's Body [1.6a] 
- Mordecai: Dude, seriously...this is more boring than watching you try to read a children's book.
- Rigby: Is it more boring than your FACE?!
- Mordecai: I don't know, is it more boring than my fist in your face?!
- Rigby: Is it more boring than my fist in your face, you turd!!
- Mordecai: You're a turd!
- Rigby: No, you're a turd!!
- [Mordecai and Rigby scuffle]
- Pops: Mordecai, Rigby! Stop! We can all be turds!
- High Five Ghost: What are you?!
- Muscle Man: Looks like a bucket of diarrhea...
- Skips: Well, it looks like it's not that big of a deal...if he doesn't mind being a bodyless consciousness for the rest of his life.
- Rigby: It's cool. I don't mind.
- Mordecai: Dude, I'm telling you...if you keep eating like that, your body's gonna quit on you.
- Rigby: STOP TALKING!!!
- Mordecai: Whatever! I'm just just trying to help. [walks away]
- Rigby: Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm. I showed him. [eats doughnut]
- Rigby: Now shovel some cheese curls into my trash-hole!
- Mordecai: [after Rigby's consciousness enters Rigby's mangled, broken body] Dude...how do you feel?
- Rigby: .....AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
- Pops: Are you having a game of tag, turds?
- Skips: I really wish you wouldn't teach him those words...
Mordecai and the Rigbys [1.6b] 
- Record Player: Now, what is the first thing that all good musisians require?
- Mordecai: Talent?
- Record Player: Yes!...Good personal hygiene is the key to becoming a successful gentleman musician!!
- Mordecai: Yes, I wanna be in a band with you! All right, but we gotta have a cool band name. What do think of, "Cool Dudes?"
- Rigby: "Face Punch!"
- Mordecai: "Rad and Subtract!"
- Rigby: "Helicopter Crash!"
- Mordecai: What about..."Mustache Cash Stash?"
- Rigby: That's it, that's it!!
- Mordecai: Order the shirts! Order the shirts!
- Crowd: [begins booing Mordecai and Rigby]
- Mordecai: Wait, wait! I can explain! I can explain!!....We were lip-synching...
- Crowd: [continues to boo them]
- Benson: This is gonna be a train-wreck...
- Pops: Oooh, I love trains!!!
- Rigby: [to Mordecai as Margaret leaves with a guitarist] ....Maybe you should've just kept lip-synching...
- Muscle Man: Come on, ladies! Play us a tasty lick!!
Season 2 
Ello Gov'nor [2.1a] 
- Mordecai: No, dude...not another horror movie! Last time, I had to walk you to the bathroom every night for a week!
- Mordecai: We're gonna watch Ello Gov'nor over and over again, until you stop being scared.
- [later, in the living room]
- Mordecai: [as he pushes Rigby against the screen] Look at it! Look at it! It's not real! You can see the microphone showing!!
- Rigby: Let me go!!
- Mordecai: Look at it!!
- Rigby: Get offa me!
- Mordecai: I'm sick of you keeping me up! You look at it!!
- Pops: It seems the smallest bill I have is a hundred. Will that do?
- Movie Shack-Hut Guy: Yeah, sure!!
- Pops: [places a butterscotch ripple lollipop in guy's hand]
- Movie Shack-Hut Guy: [angrily] Is this a joke?!
- Mordecai and Rigby: [run away with Pops]
- Taxi: ELLO, GOV'NOR!!
- Mordecai: HOLY CRAP, IT'S REAL!!!!
- Mordecai: What the heck, Pops? I thought you said you had a British taxi!
- Pops: A British taxi? Oh, I thought you said a brownish taxi.
- Mordecai: ...But that taxi's yellow.
- Pops: Yellow?! My taxi's no coward! I can guaruntee you that!
- Mordecai: [sighs] Nevermind.
- Benson: Well, you better have this mess cleaned up by the time I get back from my cricket game!
- Mordecai: Cricket?
- Benson: Yeah...I'm trying new things. So what?
- Mordecai: Will British people be there?
- Benson: It's cricket....what do you think?
It's Time [2.1b] 
- Mordecai: I kinda already got two tickets for Pajama Sisters II.
- Rigby: What?! Why? That's just some stupid chick-flick! And not even the good kind. I saw the preview. They're just gonna sit around talking about their feelings...fully clothed...
- Rigby: You're jealous, Mordecai! It's all over your face!!
- Mordecai: MY FACE ISN'T JEALOUS!
- Rigby: Looks like Pajama Sisters II is bombing! But it's doing better than you did with Margaret. OOOOOHHHHH!!!
- Mordecai: All right, dude. I'll go to the movie with you. Just call it of with her.
- Rigby: [scoffs] Yeah, right! I'm not going with you. You had your chance and you blew it. YOU BLEW IT!
- Mordecai: [groans] Come on, dude...just give me another chance.
- Rigby: Okay...I'll give you another chance if you admit that you're jealous.
- Mordecai: No!! I'm not jealous!
- Rigby: Then I guess I'm still going out with Margaret! OOOOOOHHHHH! YOU BLEW IT AGAIN, YOU BLEW IT AGAIN!
- Father Time: Hey, who's screwing around up there?
- Father Time: You're the one who's been running around microwaving all my clocks!
- Mordecai: I didn't mean to...
- Father Time: "Didn't mean to...." You've wasted my time, your time, and you really wasted the time of that guy you killed. He's DEAD!
- Rigby: What's your problem?! Why do you have to be jealous all the time?!
- Mordecai: SHUT UP! This is all your fault! I finally get a chance to ask out Margaret, but you had to butt in and ruin everything!
- Rigby: No, I didn't! I just wanted to see Zombie Dinner Party with my bro! Who flaked on me, for some girl who doesn't even know he exists! (pushes Mordecai)
- Mordecai: I'LL KILL YOU!!! (pushes Rigby, he screams, and latter gets disintegrated into dust)
Appreciation Day [2.2a] 
- Benson: [to Skips] It says here in the park records that you went the whole year without taking a day off.
- Muscle Man: Oh, man! That's like, four hundred days!
- Mordecai: [reading Book of Park Records] "Mordecai and Rigby are lazy, good-for-nothing slackers"?!
- Rigby: It's kind of true...
- Mordecai: [continues reading] "Their continued employment is one of life's greatest mysteries"? "Can't be taught", Untrustworthy", "Useless"? "Destruction of park property"?!
- Rigby: Oh, sure! That one time!
- Mordecai: Dude, is it just me, or does being appreciated blow?
- Benson: And last but not least, two guys who really pulled it together this year. Two guys that remind us to not just work hard, but to work hard at having a good time. Two guys that we couldn't do without. And these two guys are...Mmmmmmmmm...Muscle Man and High Five Ghost.
- Muscle Man: WHOOOOO!!!! Yeah! Eat on that, Mordecai and Rigby!!
- Mordecai: The Book of Park Records...
- Rigby: Dude! Open it up!
- Mordecai: I don't know, man...maybe we shouldn't do this. What if we aren't meant to see what's inside?
- Rigby: [scoffs] If we're not supposed to see what's inside, they shouldn't have taught us how to read!
- Mordecai: Check it. [writes in Book of Park Records] "There was this blizzard, and Skips broke his leg, but it didn't matter because Mordecai and Rigby took him to the hospital"!
- Rigby: They totally took him to the hospital!
- Mordecai: Yeah, the emergency part of the hospital!
- Mordecai: ...You had to say Snowballs the Ice Monster.
- Rigby: He doesn't look that bad.
- [Snowballs breathes fire and torches the area around him]
- Mordecai: Fire?! You made him breathe FIRE?! Are you kidding?!
- Benson: [after he grabs the book] I don't know what's been going on here, but why you two jokers have my book. so you better clean this mess up starting now, OR YOU'RE BOTH FIRED!
- Mordecai: What mess?
- Benson: [He looks around and sees no mess at all] Huh?
- Rigby: We did all the job you asked us to do.
- Benson: Skips, let's get out of here.
- [Benson gets in the golf cart, then Benson and Skips drive away]
- Rigby: What? Still no appreciation plaques?
Peeps [2.2b] 
- [Rigby and Mordecai have a staring contest]
- Rigby: [pulls out a lazer pointer and aims it at Mordecai's eyes]
- Mordecai: HEY! No laser pointers! That's not regulation!
- Rigby: Street rules, man!
- Margaret: Hey, guys. What's with the cameras?
- Mordecai: These? Um...we're making an indie documentary.
- Margaret: Woah, that's cool!
- Mordecai: Yeah...it's pretty obscure...arthouse stuff...
- Rigby: It's so indie, only one dude's gonna see it!
- Mordecai: Oh! Uh...hey, Benson! We were just getting back to work!
- Benson: It's okay, Mordecai. I trust you.
- Mordecai: .....Really?
- Benson: Of course I do! Because now I have this! [sets up camera] Say hello to Peeps. It's a surveillance system! Now, I'll be able to see what you're up to all the time! 24/7...365...Isn't that great? Well, I'll let you guys finish your work. And remember...I'm watching you...[walks away]
- Rigby: ...Dude, I don't think Benson trusts us at all!
- Benson: Listen, Peeps, you're creeping everybody out! You gotta go!
- Peeps: I'm here to stay. If you read the lifetime guarantee that you signed, I'm going to watch you, 24/7, 365...until you die.
- Mordecai: Did you bring the hacking device?
- Rigby: [pulls out a thermos of coffee]
- Mordecai: It's true, Benson...you can't trust us to do the dishes...or wash the truck.
- Rigby: And you really can't trust us not to fart in your coffee when you're not looking.
- Benson: What?
- Mordecai: Nothing. But the one thing you can trust us at is...perfecting pointless skills on worktime.
- Benson: ....Wow, I really can't argue with that...
- Benson: I hope you learned something from all this...
- Rigby: Yeah, make sure we do our chores so you don't narc on us to a giant eyeball...
- Muscle Man: I learned that Mordecai can go for a really long time without blinking.
- Mordecai: Actually, my eyes won't blink anymore...does anybody have any eye drops? [Rigby gives him some, and the drop evaporates before hitting his eye] ...Take me to the hospital...
Dizzy [2.3a] 
- Mordecai: Hey, I know! Why don't you just picture everybody naked?
- Pops: Naked?
- Mordecai: Yeah!
- Pops: Okay...[looks at Mordecai and Rigby's crotches] I don't like doing this!!
- Benson: It's always good to have you at the park, Mr. Maellard...sir.
- Mr. Maellard: Don't try to fraternize with me, Bert.
- Benson: Actually, sir, my name is "Benson".
- Mr. Maellard: I KNOW WHAT YOUR NAME IS, BEANBAG!
- Pops: My father wants me to give a speech in front of all his friends today, but I can't. Because I'm a no-good turkey and I'm going to strawberry jam the whole thing up!!
- Rigby: ....What are you saying?
- Pops: I'm just saying I can't!
- Benson: Muscle Man! Have you seen Pops at all today?
- Muscle Man: Yeah. And you know who else has seen Pops today?
- Benson: Who? Your mom?
- Muscle Man: I wasn't gonna say that!! Why does everyone always think I'm gonna say "my mom"?!
- Rigby: [looks at passed out Pops] ....Is he dead?
- Pops: Uhhhhh.....
- Mordecai: Oh, dude, he must have passed out from spinning too much!
- Rigby: Never pass out...when there's markers about! [pulls out ink marker and opens it]
- Pops: [clears throat] Ladies and gentlemen, I hearby dedicate this new statue to the park.
- Mordecai and Rigby: That's the whole speech!?!
My Mom [2.3b] 
- Muscle Man: You know who else needs supervision for not doing it right? MY MOM!!!
- Mordecai: Ugh, this blows! You know what the worst is?
- Rigby: The smell?
- Mordecai: No, dude...those lame 'my mom' jokes Muscle Man always tells...
- Muscle Man: You know who else has the best tacos in the city?
- Rigby: Dude, Benson will blow a fuse if he finds out we were slacking off!
- Muscle Man: You know who else would blow a fuse if she found out we were slacking off?
- Mordecai: We don't have time for this!
- Muscle Man: You know who else doesn't have time for this!?
- Mordecai and Rigby: UGH!!
- Muscle Man: You know who else says "ugh"?! MY MOM!!!!
- Mordecai: Whoa, dude! You just passed the nursery!
- Muscle Man: Pull your panties out of your butt, bro...I know a shortcut.
- Mordecai: But it was right there!
- Muscle Man: Who's supervising this mission? Me, that's who! Now shut your word-hole, I'm listening to my jams!
- Rigby: I don't know how long I can take this...
- Mordecai: I know, dude...but if we don't pull this off-
- Rigby: Ugh, sick!
- Muscle Man: I love this tasty lick! [bends over so his butt is showing]
- Rigby: That's it, I'm jumping!
- Muscle Man: High Fives is on it. He knows how to hot wire the cart to make it go crazy-fast! You know who taught High Fives to hot wire the cart to get away with slacking off at work and not get in trouble with his boss?....My Uncle John. He's a mechanic.
- Rigby: That's cool...
- Muscle Man: You know who taught HIM?! MY MOM!!!!
- Muscle Man: It was all a prank and you chumps fell for it!! And that's not even a picture of my mom! It's a picture of my butt cheek! I just squished it up to look like a woman's face!
- Mordecai: I really hate Muscle Man...
- Rigby: You know who else really hates Muscle Man?
High Score [2.4a] 
Mordecai: (groans) What now? Look, we're working. See!
Rigby: Yeah, we're never gonna get done if you keep checking up on us!
Benson: Pay day, fellas.
(Mordecai and Rigby run towards Benson)
Rigby: Aww, nice! My favorite day of the every other week!
Rage Against the TV [2.4b] 
Party Pete [2.5a] 
- Mordecai and Rigby: We gonna party!
- Mordecai: Got some chips got some dip!
- Rigby: Some call me cheap, bit of a free loader, but I bought cups for that old school soda!
- Mordecai: I dont need to brag, I dont mean to boast, but here's some hummus for these mini toasts!
- Rigby: HUMMUS!
- Mordecai: HUMMUS!
- Benson: Why are you guys yelling "hummus"?
- [as Mordecai and Rigby are inviting people to their party]
- Rigby: Him. Him. Her. Him. Ooooo, definately invite her.
- Rigby: It could be worse.
- [toilet spontaneously combusts]
- Rigby: That's the coolest thing I've ever seen...
- Benson: While I'm on my night off tonight, Skips is in charge! That's right, this guy is gonna be my eyes and ears. [walks out]
- Skips: .....This better be some party.
- Muscle Man: It takes more than expired soda to have a party. It takes guests with breasts, and mine don't count*.*In the UK airing of this episode, the line is changed to, "It takes guests with chicks and my mom doesn't count."
- Partygoer: Hey, what's up, Mordi and Rigbone? You remember how your toilet, like, used to flush...also, like, how it used to not be on fire?...Anyway, phone call for ya! Some angry dude named Benson.
Brain Eraser [2.5b] 
Rigby: Augh! I lost again.
Mordecai: Hmph. Hmph.
Rigby: This stupid thing was throwing me off.
(Rigby takes a magazine called "Mustaches Monthly" out of the couch.)
Mordecai: Dude! Pops' "Mustaches Monthly!" Benson told us to deliver it weeks ago! You have to give this to Pops.
Rigby: What!? Why do I have to!?
Mordecai: Because you're the tool that cramped it between the sofa cushions.
Benson Be Gone [2.6a] 
Benson: Get my gun or your fired.
But I Have a Receipt [2.6b] 
Rigby: "Fireballs are made of kittens!"
This is My Jam [2.7a] 
Mordecai: You gotta be in the know to know. You know?
Mordecai: Now you're makin' sense, and now I'm makin' snacks.
Rigby: Ok, this song is lame!
Mordecai: Man! You got no taste in music!
Rigby: (On the roof) Look, I'm a taking a giant leak. (Sprays hose off of roof)
(Seeing the Summertime Song as a a physical form, taking the form of a music tape with arms and legs with big, red sunglasses) Mordecai:...What the heck is that?
Rigby: I have no idea what I'm looking at.
Mordecai: We have to fight fire with fire!
Rigby: What? Dude, Hello? Fire is just gonna go right though him!
Mordecai: I've got an idea: Brain Explosion!
Rigby: What!? Thats gotta be illegal!
Muscle Woman [2.7b] 
Muscle Man: "Well, you're a chick, I was uhh... I CAN'T DO THIS!! THIS HEART BEATS FOR ANOTHER!!!! STARLA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Chick: (Quickly walks away)
Temp Check [2.8a] 
Benson: (turns red) I'm the only one around here who hires and fires. So if you really don't want to do your own job I'd be glad to accommodate you. Otherwise, you're on toilet duty for the next THREE MONTHS! UNBELIEVABLE! (everyone leaves)
Jinx [2.8b] 
Rigby: Hi-five ghost, Hi-five ghost, hi-five ghost.
See You There [2.9a] 
Muscle Man: Yo, HFG! I found a video game system on the ground. Let's see what happens when we put it in the Microwave.
Do Me a Solid [2.9b] 
- Mordecai: I'm gonna make my moveeeeeee!
- Rigby: Yeah, make your move to total loserdom.
Grave Sights [2.10a] 
Guy: That zombie just took a discus to the face!
Mordecai and Rigby: (singing obnoxiously) Because we know everything about scary movies and you know nothing about scary movies! We'll save the park with our knowledge of scary movies!!
Benson: STOP SINGING OR YOUR FIRED!!
Mordecai and Rigby: Our...Knowledge...Of...Scary...Movies...
Really Real Wrestling [2.10b] 
- Mordecai: "Listen up, Mystrious Mister R! Mad Man Mordo is gonna take you down! And I'm not talkin' downtown; I'm talkin' 6 ft underground!"
- Rigby: And that's why we dont have tickets for wrestling because all you can think about is Benson's crank.
Over the Top [2.11a] 
Rigby: (after beating Skips at arm wrestling) HATERS GONNA HATE!
Skips: Two words... PLAYCO ARMBOY!!
Death: I will have your immortal soul.
The Night Owl [2.11b] 
Muscle Man: Get your hands out of my face!
Rigby: Get off the billboard, barfsack!
Muscle Man: DON'T CALL ME A BARFSACK!
A Bunch of Baby Ducks [2.12a] 
Baby Duck: Hey Mordecai and Rigby, thanks.
(Mordecai and Rigby both smile)
Baby Duck: For being the coolest losers we know!
Baby Duck, Moredecai and Rigby: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
Rigby: Hmm-hmm. Step off! Step off! You don't want none of this!
More Smarter [2.12b] 
Rigby:You're probably wondering why I brought you here today.
Mordecai: Not really.
Rigby: Check it. All the richest people in history have drinks named after them. Shirley Temple, Arnold Palmer, John F. Lemonade. What drink's gonna make me rich you ask? I'll tell you what. One can of Radi-Cola, frozen fruit punch concentrate, a dash of hot sauce, sugar roasted sugar bomb, for texture, and the rest. (mixes the ingredients together) Mordecai. Witness the Rig-Juice!
Mordecai: Dude. I don't think you should drink that.
Rigby: (drinks the juice then gags) Whoa. My face feels like magic. Dude, wanna taste?
Mordecai: Yeah, right. I'm not dumb enough to drink that stuff.
Rigby: Come on. We do dumb stuff all the time. We're like two peas in a pod.
Mordecai: No, I'm definitely smarter than you. It's been that way ever since you dropped out of high school.
Rigby: Dude, what? I don't need no high school education. You can't use anything from school in everyday life.
First Day [2.13a] 
Mordecai: Hey, Pops. What are you doing with that chair?
Pops: Oh. Well...I no longer aquire its services. So Benson and I are taking it to the place where the big men may come upon it, and whisk it away to Magic Trash City!
(Mordecai and Rigby look at Benson)
Benson: ...We're throwing it away.
Mordecai: (reclines in chair) Eh? (shifts around uncomfortably)
Rigby: What? What's wrong?
Mordecai: This is the most uncomfortable chair I've ever sat in.
Pops: Oh, I adore "Rock, Paper, Scissors!" Although where I come from, we call it, "Quartz, Parchment, Shears."
(Everybody gets up; the park is ruined)
Mordecai: Did you win?
Mordecai: I think you win.
Rigby: (sighs) It doesn't matter. I wasn't able to hold on to the chair anyways.
(half of the chair is still left)
Mordecai and Rigby: Aww, cool.
Benson: No you don't! You're not getting that chair! But, here's what you do get. You get to flip that cart back over, you're throwin' that chair away, and then you're cleaning up this whole MESS! (points at Pops) Pops, you're comin' with me. (points at Mordecai and Rigby) And you two idiots, if this isn't cleaned up when I get back, YOU'RE FIRED!!! [Benson walks into the house with Pops and Skips and slams the door)
Mordecai: Okay, starting now. Let's both promise not to do anyhting to screw this up. Agreed?
Rigby: Agreed. Rock. Paper, Scissors for who gets to drive the cart. (plays Rock, Paper, Scissors with Mordecai)
Go Viral [2.13b] 
- Wedgie Ninja: Help me.
- Mordecai: What?
- Warden of the Internet: What's your name?
- Pops: Pops.
- Rigby: It's Pops!
- Warden of the Internet: Step over to your right, Pops.
- Pops: Is this my passport photo for the interwebs?
- Warden of the Internet: Sort of.
- Pops: Ooh, I love photos. I am ready, madame.
- Warden of the Internet: Say 'doomed for eternity.'
- Pops: Doomed for eternity! Oh!
- Rigby: No!
Skunked [2.14a] 
- Rigby: Dude, Bingo!
- Mordecai: Bingo?
- Rigby: Bingo, bingo!
- Mordecai: Bingo!
- Rigby: Ohhhhh!!!
- Mordecai: Woahhhhh!!!
Karaoke Video [2.14b] 
- Mordecai: Dead? Dude, they're gonna hate us forever! [facepalms] Awww, why are we so dumb?
- Rigby: It was the music, man! It fueled our frustrations, it wasn't our fault!
- Mordecai: Whatever, we just can't let them see us trashing them. We gotta go find that master tape.
- Rigby: But how are we gonna do that?
- Mordecai: Dude, it'll be easy. We'll just go ask that fat dude for the tape, and if he says no, we'll just take it from him.
Season 3 
Stick Hockey [3.1a] 
- Pops: It seems the honourable thing to do is apologize. Oh look! [holds up a joker card with Benson on it] This one is you! [giggles]
- Benson: [sighs] Alright.
- Skips: Hmph. [tosses a walkie talkie to Benson]
- Benson: Mordecai, Rigby, are you there? Pick up!
- Skips: [reaches for walkie talkie] Let me try. Mordecai, Rigby. Are you there?
- Rigby: (over walkie talkie) Hey Skips.
- Benson: Tell them I want to talk to them! Tell them!
- Skips: Where are you? [skips away] Where are you guys?
Bet To Be Blonde [3.1b] 
- Blonde: [laughs] I'm just yanking your chain man, it's cool.
- Rigby: Huh?
- Mordecai: [laughs] OOOOOOOOHHHHH!
- Black Blonde: [puts hand on Mordecai's shoulder] Uh. He's had enough.
- Rigby: Hm.
Skips Strikes [3.2a] 
- Benson: Man, Skips is on fire tonight. Another perfect game.
- Mordecai: We're going to the championship baby!
- Man: You guys wouldn't be so great if it wasn't for Skips.
- Mordecai: Well, we can't help that he's just plain awesome, right Skips?
- Skips: Hey, that's just how I roll.
- Mordecai, Rigby and Benson: Oh!
- Benson: There she is guys. Isn't she a beaute?
- Rigby: I want that beaute.
- Benson: So who are we up against?
- Mordecai: Some team called the Magical Elements.
- Rigby: The Magical Elements. Hm, hm, more like the Magical loserments.
- Death: What did you say about us?
Terror Tales of the Park [3.2b] 
Muscle Man: Weak! That's it? Watoh out, guys, some crazy old guy is gonna turn you into a house. Our story about wrecking cars in a pit was way better. (laughs and High-fives Hi Five Ghost)
Pops: (scary) Show yourself! Bad show! Very bad show!
Camping Can Be Cool [3.3a] 
- Margaret: Hey Guys Do You Need Any More-
- Rigby: SSHHHHH! This Is It!
- TV: Your Weekend Weather Forecast. Hope You Have Your Sunglasses Ready.
- Rigby: You probably shouldn't go, Margaret. I bet your boyfriend won't like you going out on a camping trip with you dudes.
- Margaret: Ugh, what boyfriend? Not see anyone right now. Guys are jerks.
- Mordecai: Gah, I know, right? Guys are the worst.
Slam Dunk [3.3b] 
- Muscle Man: Yeah, baby. Go ahead. You can't make it from there. Oh! Oh! Brick!
- Mordecai: Ugh!
- Muscle Man: Oh, snap. Hey, Mordecai, you're looking a little confused. Did you know that we only need one more point to win?
Cool Bikes [3.4a] 
- Benson: Mordecai and Rigby are the coolest guys I know.
House Rules [3.4b] 
- Mordecai: Alright, let's see. Rule #114: No feet on the table. [Mordecai and Rigby's feet are on the table, then they take them off, moaning] Rule #115: No food on the table. [food is seen on the table, so they knock it all off]
- Rigby: Fine!
- Mordecai: Rule #116: No food on the floor.
- Rigby: WHAT?! That's going WAY too far! [growls while straining himself to lift the table] Come on, man, help me flip the table!
- Mordecai: No, dude, just chill out. There's only one more new rule left.
- Rigby: What is it?
[Mordecai flips the page, then, a shocked look comes to his face as the camera zooms in. Cut into Benson's office]
- Mordecai: No video games?!
Rap it Up [3.5a] 
- Big Trouble: Nah, I got y'all fools this time, hit it! (V-Tron turns on the radio) (Rapping) You all better watch out, cause Big Trouble's on the mic now, i'll knock all o' your lights out, with my verse, y'all be cursed , blowing up like fireworks. powwwwwwwww!
- Alpha-Dog:...that's it? Blitz Comet, show this fool how we do.
- Blitz Comet: (Rapping) Blitz Comet on the scene. You step to me and you gonna get creamed-corn! All up in your teeth, you reek, you're the opposite of chic, ya freak! Your rhymes are all antiques. Nobody wants em, they throw em all away. Right from the get go like your brain is on delay. Matter of fact, yo, you better get a check up. Go ask your doctor, why you be so ugly from the neck UP?
Crusin [3.5b] 
- Margaret: Guys. You're kidding, right?
- Mordecai: Are you saying you wouldn't give us your number if we pulled up in some cool wheels?
- Margaret: You dorks would never be able to get a girl's number cruising.
- Mordecai: Oh yeah?
Under the Hood [3.6a] 
- Muscle Man: Uh... okay, all right! I was spraypainting, okay? But, but--
- Benson: But what?
- Muscle Man: But I didn't do the graffiti! I was painting Hi Five Ghost's ride orange!
- Hi Five Ghost: Really?
- Benson: Then why did you lie about the paint?
- Muscle Man: Because it was supposed to be a surprise. Til you guys ruined it!
- Rigby: He's lying!
- Muscle Man: No, I'm not.
- Benson: I'm sorry, Muscle Man. I'm gonna have to ask you to turn in your keys.
- Muscle Man: What?
- Benson: You heard me.
- Muscle Man: Are you firing me, bro?!
- Benson: Give me your keys.
- Hi Five Ghost: If he goes, I go, too.
- Benson: Okay, see ya.
- Hi Five Ghost: Aww...
Weekend at Benson's [3.6b] 
- Rigby: Dude, Benson! What's the rush? It's not like you have somewhere to be.
- Benson: Yeah, actually, I do! I do have a life outside of work, you know.
- Rigby: Yeah, right. Where are you gonna go, Benson?
- Mordecai: Yeah, where are you gonna go, dude?
- Benson: Just hold the ladder!
- Rigby: Come on, man! Spill it! Where you gonna go?
- [Mordecai and Rigby let go of the ladder]
- Mordecai: Dude, Rigby! Leave him alone! Can't you tell you're annoying him?
Fortune Cookie [3.7a] 
- Benson: I'm glad you could all join me for brunch today.
- Pops: What's the occasion?
- Benson: Do you even have to ask, Pops? It's to celebrate my amazing streak of good luck.
- Pops: Good luck?
- Benson: Yeah, don't you remember last night?
- (Scene shows flasback of Benson beating Rigby at cards)
- Rigby: Augh! You only beat me last night because of my bad luck.
- Benson: No Rigby, I only beat you because of my good luck, and it's that luck that makes me trust that we're all gonna love this restaurant that none of us have never even been to.
- Everyone: Yeah!
- Rigby: You know what I think? I think you're just jealous.
- Mordecai: Jealous?
- Rigby: Jealous!
- Mordecai: Dude, seriously...
- Rigby: JEALOUS!
- Mordecai: Rigby!
- Rigby: JEALOUS OF MY LUCK!
- Mordecai: I'm calling Benson.
- Rigby: (Mockingly) Oh, no, don't call Benson.
Think Postive [3.7b] 
- Benson: (sighs) What is it, Pops? I'm in the middle of something.
- Pops: Have a seat. (Benson sits down and sighs) Do you know why I called you in here?
- Benson: Did you lose the colonel again? Try under your hat.
- Pops: (see colonel under hat, then puts the army men in the drawer)
- Pops: Benson, you're fired!
- Benson: NOOOOO!!!
- Pops: Benson, I need you to yell at Mordecai and Rigby!
- Benson: If I yell, you'll fire me.
- Pops: Forget what I said, Benson! If you don't yell at Mordecai and Rigby right now, you're fired!
- Benson: (screams, shooting a beam straight through the orb and striking Mordecai and Rigby) YOU LAZY NO GOOD SLACKERS DRIVE ME NUTS!!! CAN'T YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME ONCE IN YOUR WORTHLESS LIVES?!! 'CAUSE IF YOU DID YOU'D SEE THAT I'M TRYING TO TEACH YOU SOME SIMPLE RESPONSIBILITY, SOME PRIDE IN YOUR WORK AND A JOB WELL DONE!!! BUT YOU WOULDN'T KNOW A JOB WELL DONE IF YOU PAID SOMEONE TO DO IT FOR YOU, AND EVEN THEN YOU'D SCREW IT ALL UP ON THE ACCOUNT THAT YOU CAN'T EVEN FOLLOW THE SIMPLEST OF INSTRUCTIONS, WORRYING MORE ABOUT LOOKING COOL THAN DOING YOUR JOBS!!! (explodes, pan down to the damage done)
Skips Vs. Technology [3.8a] 
- Mordecai: I think it's broken, dude.
- Rigby: Here, try this.
- Skips: Hey, something need to be fixed in here?
- Mordecai: Skips, come help us.
- Rigby: Yeah, Skips can fix anything.
- Skips: What's broken?
- Rigby: So we created this project in e-designer plus, right?
- Mordecai: Then we tried printing it, but it gave error 219.
- Skips: Uh huh.
- Rigby: We doubled checked it and the driver is definitely installed.
Butt Dial [3.8b] 
- Mordecai: Man last night was the best. The best.
- Rigby: (while tapping on the keys of Mordecai's phone) Yeah it was pretty fun.
- Mordecai: I mean, Margaret and Eileen over for "Game Night," and nothing went wrong. No space portals, no video demons, nobody got hurt.
- Rigby: Except for Eileen and I whipping your butts.
- Mordecai: Whatever, I had fun. Dude come on help out. Benson's not going to let us have people over anymore if we leave this place a mess. And put down my new phone before you break it.
- Rigby: Ok, just a sec. I am making you a new custom wallpaper.
Eggscellent [3.9a] 
- Mordecai: (surpsingly) Dude, you're allergic to eggs?!
- Rigby: (weakly)I thought if I ate it fast, no one would notice.
Gut Model [3.9b] 
- Muscle Man: Good, you're all here. As you probably already know, today marks 5 years I've worked at the park. So in honor of me, we're eating at Fry it Up at 8:00!
- Mordecai: Oh, no can do, Muscle Man.
- Muscle Man: What? Why not?
- Rigby: We already made plans with Margaret and Eileen.
- Muscle Man: Pssh, your loss, bros. While you're striking out with some chicks, we'll be scoring some wings! And some chicks! Am I right, Skips?
- Skips: Sorry, I can't either. I'm bowling with Pops and Benson.
- Pops: Lawn bowling!
- Muscle Man: Ugh! Well, it looks like it's just me and you tonight, Fives.
- Hi Five Ghost: Oh.
- Muscle Man: What?
- Hi Five Ghost: Low-Five is graduating from the police academy tonight! He's my brother, I have to go!
Video Game Wizards [3.10a] 
- Mordecai: Get ready dude, this is the final fight.
- Rigby: Okay okay, I got it I got it.
- Mordecai: Are you sure you know what to do this time?
- Rigby: Yes. It's like one two start blah blah something whatever.
- Mordecai: Dude, it's one two start then four one and two at the same time.
- Rigby: Like this?
- Mordecai: No, not now! Wait 'til I tell you to do it.
- Video Game: Ice this fool!
- Mordecai: Now dude, do it now!
- Video Game: K.O.!
- Mordecai and Rigby: Woooooahhhh!
Big Winner [3.10b] 
- Mordecai: (the scene cuts to the Lottery Plaza) Muscle Man, wait!
- Muscle Man: What is it?
- Mordecai: There's something we need to tell you. The lottery ticket... it's fake. We wanted to get back for pranking us.
- Rigby: It just got out of hand! We're sorry.
- Muscle Man: It's okay, I'm not mad.
- Rigby: Really?
- Muscle Man: Nope. I'm furious! (Mordecai and Rigby gasp, then Muscle Man shoves Mordecai and Rigby into the ticket checker and then catapults it over a wall)
The Best Burger in the World [3.11a] 
- Muscle Man: I already got mine. I could die right now with no regrets. You guys are going to have to take this to your graves. Just wishing you got to taste this Himalayan ketchup. [eats his burger]
- Pops: Oh, my! I can taste the Himalayas! [Laughs as Mordecai and Rigby moan]
Replaced [3.11b] 
Trash Boat [3.12a] 
Fists of Justice [3.12b] 
- Benson: Hey, what are you guys doing? I thought that was skips' job.
- Mordecai: But we're just...
- Benson: You know what? I don't care. Just get it out of here. It's the fire hazard.
Yes Dude Yes [3.13a] 
Busted Cart [3.13b] 
Dead At Eight [3.14a] 
Access Denied [3.14b] 
Muscle Mentor [3.15a] 
- Rigby: Muscle Man! None of this have to with mentoring! Your not a mentor! Your just a big, fat, smelly, jerk!!
Trucker Hall of Fame [3.15b] 
- Rigby: Special delivery!
- Muscle Dad: Here's my boy, going to the prom!
- Mordecai and Rigby: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
- Muscle Man: (TOOTS)
Out of Commission [3.16a] 
Fancy Resturant [3.16b] 
- Muscle Man: Oh, no, bro!
Diary [3.17a] 
The Best VHS in the World [3.17b] 
- Movie Shack Hut Guy: What the heck, man? Pan and Scan? Dude, Letterbox! Always!
Prankless [3.18a] 
Death Bear [3.18b] 
Fuzzy Dice [3.19a] 
Sugar Rush [3.19b] 
- Benson: If you past them out before the meeting, you're fired, got it?
- Mordecai: Yeah, no problem.
- Benson: Good. Now what do I just say?
- Rigby: Get the donuts and don't pass them out, or we're fired.
- Benson: And?
- Mordecai: Oh, and you want a whole wheat donut.
- Benson: Good. Maybe you are ready for more responsibility. Now go get the donuts.
- Mordecai and Rigby: (Gets out of chairs and start rapping) D-d-d-d-donuts! D-d-d-d-donuts, donuts! D-d-d-d-donuts! D-d-d-d--
- Benson: Just buy the donuts or you're fired! (walks away)
Bad Kiss [3.20a] 
- Margaret: (Mordecai walk to Margaret's car, and looks around for his personal item which turns out to be his wallet, Margaret has followed him to the car to check up on him) What's up?
- Mordecai: I can't find my wallet.
- Margaret: Oh, let's see... (She also joins Mordecai in the car, helping him look for his wallet, then she leans over the seat) Did you check the glove compartment?
- Mordecai: Yeah, I checked there... (They realize that they are close to one another once again) alrerady...
- Margaret: Oh, ha...
- Mordecai: Ha. (They stare at each other, Mordecai glups, an leans in with Margaret joining in, and they kiss. Then Margaret opens her eyes and looks disgusted, and pushes Mordecai away) Oh, sorry, I shouldn't--
- Margaret: No, it's fine. It's just--
- Mordecai: What?
- Margaret: Your breath is really bad...
- Mordecai: Ahh! Oh, my Gosh. (Reaches for the door handle to get out of the car)
- Margaret: Wait, no! It's--
- Mordecai: I'm sorry! (He exits out of the car to run back into the house) I'm sorry!
- Margaret: Mordecai!
Season 4 
Terror Tales of the Park 2 [4.3] 
- Rigby: "Once upon a time, Benson was so dumb."
- Mordecai: Let our friends go and then get out of our house!
Picking up Margaret [4.22] 
- Mordecai: Uh... (Margaret turns) Nothing. Sorry. See you. (Margaret sighs and kisses Mordecai)
- Margaret: See you soon.
- Mordecai: Uh...bye. (leaves,starts dancing,then sees Benson's car being towed)
Margaret: Wait, are you sure you WANT to give me a ride and not because you bet someone you could or- Mordecai: What (scoffs) come on, when have I- (points at Rigby) BE QUIET.
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