River Song

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Doctor Who — Incarnations of The Doctor : 1st - 2nd - 3rd - 4th - 5th - 6th - 7th - 8th - War - 9th - 10th - 11th - 12th
Companions : Jack Harkness · Martha Jones · Donna Noble · Clara Oswald · Amy Pond · River Song · Rose Tyler · Rory Williams
Adversaries : Cybermen · Daleks · The Great Intelligence · The Master · Rassilon
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Everybody knows that everybody dies and nobody knows it like the Doctor. But I do think that all the skies of all the worlds might just turn dark if he ever, for one moment, accepts it.
Everybody knows that everybody dies. But not every day. Not today. Some days are special. Some days are so, so blessed. Some days, nobody dies at all. Now and then, Every once in a very long while, every day in a million days, when the wind stands fair and the Doctor comes to call, everybody lives.

River Song is a fictional character played by Alex Kingston in the British science-fiction series Doctor Who. Within the series' narrative, River Song is an experienced companion of the Doctor. Because she and the Doctor are both time travelers, their adventures together are largely experienced out of sequence in the chronology of each other's lives, resulting in surprising consequences for them and their unusual romantic life together, including the fact that the first time he meets her, is the last time she meets him, as she sacrifices her life to save his. In the 2011 episode A Good Man Goes to War it is revealed that she was born Melody Pond, the daughter of Amy Pond and Rory Williams, and in the following episode, Let's Kill Hitler, it is revealed she spent years of her life as Mels, the childhood friend of her mother — and thus was in fact named after herself.

Quotes[edit]

  • Hello Sweetie.
    • How she greets the Doctor. She carved it in High Gallifreyan into the home box of a category 4 Starliner as well as the oldest cliff in the universe, along with space time coordinates, in order to summon the Doctor.
    • Refrained in what seems to be, from River's point of view, her last farewell to the Doctor: "Goodbye Sweetie."
  • Spoilers.
    • Recurring admonition that she and the Doctor should not reveal what they know of each other's future, and her last word to the Doctor before dying.
    • First time she heard it was after regenerating into River Song. (Let's Kill Hitler)
    • Learned to use the word from the Doctor, as seen in the First Night/Last Night minisode.
  • I hate you.
    • Recurring phrase said to the Doctor when she pretends to be angry with him, to which he replies "No you don't."

Dialogue[edit]

I'm a time traveller. I point and laugh at archaeologists.

Silence in the Library [4.8][edit]

(31 May 2008) This is the episode in which the Doctor, in his 10th incarnation first meets River, from his perspective — and the start of their last encounter, from her perspective.
River: Hello Sweetie.
The Doctor: Get out!

Anita: How do you know they're not androids.
River: Because I've dated androids. They're rubbish.

Mr. Lux: Who is this? You said we were the only expedition. I paid for exclusives.
River: I lied. I'm always lying. Bound to be others.

The Doctor: Oh, you're not, are you...? Tell me you're not archaeologists.
River: Got a problem with archaeologists?
The Doctor: I'm a time traveller. I point and laugh at archaeologists.
River: Ah! [extending her hand for the Doctor to shake] Professor River Song. Archaeologist.

River: You think there's danger here?
The Doctor: Something came to this library and killed everything in it. Killed the whole world. Danger? Could be!
River: That was a hundred years ago. The Library's been silent for a hundred years. Whatever came here is long dead.
The Doctor: Bet your life?
River: Always.

Mr. Lux: Professor Song, why am I the only one wearing my helmet?
River: I don't fancy you.

River: Pretty Boy, with me I said.
The Doctor: Oh, I'm Pretty Boy?
Donna: Yes. Oh, that came out a bit quick.
The Doctor: Pretty?
Donna: Meh...

River: Thanks.
The Doctor: For what?
River: The usual. For coming when I call.
The Doctor: That was you?
River: You're doing a very good job acting like you don't know me. I'm assuming there's a reason.
The Doctor: Oh, a fairly good one actually.
River: Okay, should we do diaries then? [pulls out a journal] Where are we this time? Ah, going by your face I'd say it's early days for you, yeah? So, um... Crash of the Byzantium. Have we done that yet? [the Doctor's face is blank] ...Obviously ringing no bells. Alright, um. Picnic at Asgard, Have we done Asgard yet? [again, no reaction from the Doctor] ...Obviously not. Blimey, very early days then. Oo! Life with a time traveller, never knew it could be such hard work. Um... [stops, and really looks at him] Look at you. You're young.
The Doctor: I'm really not, you know.
River: Oh but you are. Your eyes! You're younger than I've ever seen you.
The Doctor: You've seen me before then?
River: [pause] Doctor, please tell me you know who I am.
The Doctor: ...Who are you?
[River looks heartbroken]

River: Sorry, you're not allowed to see inside the book. It's against the rules.
The Doctor: What rules?
River: Your rules.

Mr. Lux: I'm protecting my family's pride.
The Doctor: Well, funny thing, Mr. Lux. I don't want to see everyone in this room dead because some idiot thinks his pride is more important.
River: Then why don't you sign his contract? [the Doctor freezes] I didn't either. I'm getting worse than you.

River: There was one other thing in the last message.
Mr. Lux: That's confidential.
River: I trust this man with my life. With everything.
Mr. Lux: You've only just met him.
River: Nope, he's only just met me.

River: Whatever did this to her, whatever killed her, I'd like a word with that.
The Doctor: I'll introduce you.

The Doctor: What's in that book?
River: Spoilers.
The Doctor: Who are you?
River: Professor River Song, University of —
The Doctor: To me. Who are you to me?
River: Again: spoilers.

The Doctor: What's that?
River: It's a screwdriver.
The Doctor: It's sonic.
River: Yeah, I know. Snap. So. What's the plan? Do we have a plan?
The Doctor: Your screwdriver. Looks exactly like mine.
River: Yeah. You gave it to me.
The Doctor: I don't give my screwdriver to anyone.
River: I'm not anyone.
The Doctor: Who are you?

Forest of the Dead [4.9][edit]

(7 June 2008)

Dave: Who is he? You haven't even told us. You just expect us to trust him.
River: He's the Doctor.
Mr. Lux: And who is "The Doctor"?
River: The only story you'll ever tell. If you survive here.
Anita: You say he's your friend, but he doesn't even know who you are.
River: Listen, all you need to know is this, I trust that man to the end of the Universe. And actually, we've been.
Anita: He doesn't act like he trusts you.
River: There's a tiny problem. He hasn't met me yet.

River: What's wrong with it?
The Doctor: There's a signal coming from somewhere interfering with it.
River: Use the red settings.
The Doctor: It doesn't have a red setting.
River: Well use the dampers.
The Doctor: It doesn't have "dampers."
River: It will do one day.
The Doctor: So some time in the future I just give you my screwdriver.
River: Yeah.
The Doctor: Why would I do that?
River: I didn't pluck it from your cold dead hands if that's what you're worried about.
The Doctor: And I know that because?
River: Listen to me, you've lost your friend—you're angry, I understand. But you need to be less emotional, Doctor. Right now—
The Doctor: Less emotion— I'm not emotional!
River: There are five people in this room still alive. Focus on that. Dear god, you're hard work young.
The Doctor: Young— Who are you?!
Mr. Lux: Oh for heaven's sake! Look at the pair of you. We're all going to die right here and you're just squabbling like an old married couple!
River: Doctor. One day I'm going to be someone that you trust. Completely. But I can't wait for you to find that out. So I'm going to prove it to you. And I'm sorry. I'm really very sorry. [whispers in his ear] Are we good? Doctor. Are we good?
The Doctor: Yeah, we're good.
River: Good.

The Doctor: Professor, go ahead. Find a safe spot.
River: It's a carnivorous swarm in a suit! You can't reason with it.
The Doctor: Five minutes.

River: You know when you see a photograph of someone you know, but it's from years before you knew them. It's like they're not quite finished; they're not done yet. Well, yes, the Doctor's here. He came when I called just like he always does, but not "my" Doctor. Now, my Doctor, I've seen whole armies turn and run away, and he'd just swagger off back to his TARDIS and open the doors with a snap of his fingers. The Doctor in the TARDIS. Next stop: everywhere.
The Doctor: Spoilers! Nobody can open the TARDIS by snapping their fingers. It doesn't work like that.
River: It does for the Doctor.
The Doctor: I am the Doctor.
River: Yeah. Someday.

River: Gravity Platform.
The Doctor: Bet I like you.
River: Oh, you do.

River: I hate you sometimes!
The Doctor: I know!

The Doctor: Oh no no. What are you doing? That's my job!
River: Oh and I'm not allowed to have a career I suppose.
The Doctor: Why am I handcuffed? Why would you even have handcuffs?
River: [playfully flirtatious] Spoilers.

River [speaking to the handcuffed Doctor, as she realizes she must sacrifice her own life to keep the Doctor from sacrificing his]: Funny thing is, this means you've always known how I was going to die. All the time we've been together, you knew I was coming here. The last time I saw you, the real you — the future you, I mean — you turned up on my doorstep, with a new haircut and a suit. You took me to Darillium to see the singing towers. Oh, what a night that was! The towers sang and you cried. You wouldn't tell me why, but I suppose you knew it was time. My time. Time to come to the Library. You even gave me your screwdriver; that should've been a clue. [The Doctor tries unsuccessfully to reach their sonic screwdrivers] There's nothing you can do.
The Doctor: You can let me do this!
River: If you die here, it'll mean I've never met you!
The Doctor: Time can be rewritten!
River: Not those times. Not one line! Don't you dare! It's okay. It's okay, it's not over for you. You'll see me again. You've got all of that to come. You and me, time and space. You watch us run! [River starts to weep]
The Doctor: River, you know my name. You whispered my name in my ear! There's only one reason I would ever tell anyone my name. There's only one time I could.
River: [smiles sweetly at the Doctor as the countdown reaches zero] Hush, now — spoilers.

River's narration: [as the Doctor walks away from the Library] When you run with the Doctor, it feels like it'll never end, but however hard you try you can't run forever. Everybody knows that everybody dies and nobody knows it like the Doctor, but I do think that all the skies of all the worlds might just turn dark if he ever, for one moment, accepts it.
[The Doctor runs back and picks up River's sonic screwdriver]
The Doctor: Why? Why would I give her my screwdriver? Why would I do that? The thing is, future me had years to think about it. All those years to think of a way to save her, and what he did was give her a screwdriver! Why would I do that?! [peels back a panel to reveal a set of green lights like on the suits, realizing why his future self has given River the screwdriver] Oh, oh, oh! Look at that! I'm very good!
Donna: What have you done?
The Doctor: Saved her! [runs with River's consciousness in the screwdriver] Stay with me! You can do it! Stay with me! Come on!! You and me, one last run! [pointing his screwdriver at the Gravity Platform, turning it off] Sorry River, short cut!
[He jumps into the entrance and freefalls to the heart of the computer system while the data ghost indicator lights begin to go out. He continues to run]
River's narration: Everybody knows that everybody dies, but not every day. Not today. [The Doctor uploads her into CAL, where she is "saved" in a virtual reality, along with her fellow expiditioners killed by the Vashta Nerada] Some days are special. Some days are so, so blessed. Some days, nobody dies at all. Now and then, every once in a very long while, every day in a million days, when the wind stands fair and the Doctor comes to call, everybody lives.

Time of Angels [5.4][edit]

(24 April 2010)
River: They've gone into warp drive. We're losing them. Stay close.
The Doctor: I'm trying!
River: Use the stabilizers.
The Doctor: It doesn't have stabilizers!
River: The blue switches.
The Doctor: The blue switches don't do anything! They're just blue.
River: Yes, they're blue. They're the blue stabilizers! [she flips them and the TARDIS stabilizes] See?
The Doctor: Yeah. Well, just boring now, isn't it? They're boringers. They're blue boringers.
Amy: Doctor, how come she can fly the TARDIS?
The Doctor: You call that flying the TARDIS? Ha!
River: Okay, I've mapped the probability vectors, done a full background temporal isometry, charted the ship to its destination and...parked us right alongside.
The Doctor: "Parked us"? We haven't landed.
River: Of course we've landed. I just landed her.
The Doctor: But...it didn't make the noise.
River: What noise?
The Doctor: You know the [attempts to imitate the noise the TARDIS usually makes when it lands]
River: It's not supposed to make that noise. You leave the brakes on.
The Doctor: Yeah, well, it's a brilliant noise. I love that noise.

Amy: How come you can fly the TARDIS?
River: Oh, I had lessons from the very best.
The Doctor: [flattered] Well...yeah.
River: It's a shame you were busy that day.

River Song: [preparing to inject Amy] Now, this won't hurt a bit.
Amy: Ow!
River Song: See? I lied.

Amy: You're so his wife.
River: Oh, Amy, Amy, Amy. This is the Doctor we're talking about. Do you really think it could be anything that simple?
Amy: Yep.
River: You're good. I'm not saying you're right. But you are, very ...good.

Flesh and Stone [5.5][edit]

(1 May 2010)
Father Octavian [about the Doctor]: Dr. Song, I've lost good clerics today. You trust this man?
River: I absolutely trust him.
Father Octavian: He's not some kind of madman, then?
River: [pause] I absolutely trust him.

River: Father Octavian, when the Doctor's in the room, your one and only mission is to keep him alive long enough to get everyone else home. And trust me, it's not easy. Now if he's dead back there, I'll never forgive myself. And if he's alive, I'll never forgive him. And Doctor, you're standing right behind me aren't you?
The Doctor: Yeah.
River: [lovingly] I hate you.
The Doctor: You don't.

The Doctor: River Song, I could bloody kiss you!
River: Oh well. Maybe when you're older.

River: You. Me. Handcuffs. Must it always end this way?
The Doctor: What now?
River: The prison ship's in orbit. They'll beam me up any second. I might have done enough to earn a pardon this time. We'll see.
The Doctor: Octavian said you killed a man.
River: Yes, I did.
The Doctor: A good man.
River: A very good man. The best man I've ever known.
The Doctor: Who?
River: It's a long story, Doctor. Can't be told, has to be lived. No sneak previews. Well, except for this one: You'll see me again quite soon, when the Pandorica opens.
The Doctor: The Pandorica. [laughs] [Leans in to River Song and whispers in her ear] That's a fairy tale.
River: [laughs] Oh, Doctor. Aren't we all? [smiles] I'll see you there.
The Doctor: I look forward to it.
River: I remember it well.
Amy Pond: [Amy walks up] Bye, River.
River Song: See you, Amy.
The Doctor: Can I trust you, River Song?
River: If you like. But where's the fun in that? [laughs] [River is beamed up to the prison ship]
Amy Pond: What are you thinking?
The Doctor: [looks thoughtfully out at the ocean] Time can be rewritten.

The Pandorica Opens [5.12][edit]

River: [The Doctor walks in River's tent] Hello, Sweetie.
Amy Pond: River. Hi.
The Doctor: You graffitied the oldest cliff face in the universe.
River: You wouldn't answer your phone!

The Doctor: There was a goblin, or a trickster, or a warrior -- a nameless, terrible thing, soaked in the blood of a billion galaxies. The most feared being in all the cosmos, and nothing could stop it, or hold it, or reason with it. One day it would just drop out of the sky and tear down your world.
Amy: How did it end up in there?
The Doctor: You know fairy tales. A good wizard tricked it.
River: [to Amy] I hate good wizards in fairy tales; they always turn out to be him.

The Doctor: River! River, what's happening?
River: I don't know. It's the engines. Doctor, there's something wrong with the TARDIS. Like something else is controlling it.
The Doctor: You're flying it wrong!
River: I'm flying it perfectly! You taught me!

River: [upon realising she's trapped] I'm sorry, my love.

The Big Bang [5.13][edit]

(26 June 2010)
The Doctor: Hi, honey. I'm home.
River: [looks at her watch] And what sort of time do you call this?

[The Doctor transports them to Amy and Rory]
River: Amy. [sees Rory] And the plastic Centurion.
The Doctor: It's okay, he's on our side.
River: Really? I dated a Nestene duplicate once; swappable head. It did keep things fresh. Right, then. I have questions, but number one is this: what in the name of sanity have you got on your head?
The Doctor: It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezzes are cool.
[River and Amy exchange a look. Amy snatches the fez, and throws it into the air, and River blasts it into smithereens]

Dalek: You will be exterminated!
River: Not yet. Your systems are still restoring, which means your shield density is compromised. One alpha-meson burst through your eyestalk would kill you stone dead.
Dalek: Records indicate you will show mercy. You are an associate of the Doctor's.
River: I'm River Song. Check your records again. [aims for the eye-stalk]
Dalek: [uneasily] Mercy?
River: Say it again?
Dalek: Mercy!
River: One more time.
Dalek: Mercy!!!

[After the Doctor's supposedly dead body vanishes]
Amy But he was dead!
River: Who told you that?
Amy: He did.
River: Rule one: The Doctor lies.
Amy: Where's the Dalek?
River: [coldly] It died.

River: Did you dance? Well, you always dance at weddings, don't you?
The Doctor: I don't know. You tell me.
River: Spoilers.
The Doctor: [returns her diary and vortex manipulator] The writing's all back. I didn't peek.
River: Thank you.
The Doctor: Are you married, River?
River: Are you asking?
The Doctor: Yes.
River: Yes.
The Doctor: No, hang on, did you think I was asking you to marry me or asking if you were married?
River: Yes.
The Doctor: No, but was that yes or [pauses] yes.
River: Yes.

The Doctor: River, who are you?
River: You're going to find out very soon now, and I'm sorry, but that's when everything changes.

The Impossible Astronaut [6.1][edit]

(23 April 2011)
[The Doctor and River quickly turn pages in their diaries]
River: All right, then. Where are we? Have we done Easter Island yet?
The Doctor: Um, yes!! I've got Easter Island!
River: They worshiped you there. Have you seen the statues?

The Doctor: I'm being extremely clever up here and there's no one standing around to look impressed! What's the point in having you all?!
River: Couldn't you just slap him sometimes?
Amy Pond: River, we can't just let him die. We have to stop it! How can you be okay with this?
River: The Doctor's death doesn't frighten me, nor does my own. There's a far worse day coming for me.

The Doctor: I'm your new undercover agent on loan from Scotland Yard. Codename: The Doctor. These are my top operatives, [indicates Amy, Rory, and River in turn] The Legs, The Nose, and Mrs. Robinson.
River: I hate you.
The Doctor: No, you don't.

The Doctor: [smugly, just after explaining how he determined where the mysterious phone calls to President Nixon were originating from] ...And Doctor Song, you've got that face on again.
River: [bemused] What face?
The Doctor: The 'He's-hot-when-he's-clever' face.
River: This is my normal face!
The Doctor [even more smugly]: Yes it is.
River: Oh, shut up.
The Doctor: [smiling] Not a chance.

The Doctor: Be careful!
River: Careful. Tried that once. Ever so dull.
The Doctor: Shout if you get into trouble.
River: Don't worry, I'm quite the screamer. [climbs into the tunnel.] Now 'there's a spoiler for you!
Canton: So, what’s going on here?
The Doctor: Er... Nothing. She’s just a friend.
Rory: I think he's talking about the possible alien incursion.

Rory: What did you mean, what you said to Amy? There's a worse day coming for you?
River: When I first met the Doctor, a long, long time ago, he knew all about me. Think about that. An impressionable young girl, and suddenly this man just drops out of the sky, and he's clever, and mad, and wonderful, and knows every last thing about her. Imagine what that does to a girl.
Rory: I don't really have to.
River: Trouble is, it's all back to front. My past is his future. We're traveling in opposite directions. Every time we meet, I know him more, he knows me less. I live for the days when I see him, but I know that every time that I do he'll be one step further away. The day is coming when I'll look into that man's eyes, my Doctor, and he won't have the faintest idea who I am. And I think it's going to kill me.

Day of the Moon [6.2][edit]

(30 April 2011)
The Doctor: Oh, this is my friend River. Nice hair, clever, and has her own gun. And unlike me, she really doesn't mind shooting people. I shouldn't like that. Kinda do, a bit.
River: Thank you, sweetie.
The Doctor: I know you're team players and everything, but she'll definitely kill the first three of you.
River: Oh, the first seven, easy.
The Doctor: Seven, really?
River: Oh, eight for you, honey.
The Doctor: Oh, stop it.
River: [flirtatiously] Make me.
The Doctor: Yeah, well maybe I will!
Amy: [tied to a chair] Is this really important, flirting? 'Cause I feel like I should be higher on the list right now!

The Doctor: Don't let them build to full power!
River Song: I know! There's a reason why I'm shooting, honey! What are you doing?
The Doctor: Helping!
River Song: You've got a screwdriver, go build a cabinet!
The Doctor: That's really rude!
River: Shut up and drive!

River: [having slaughtered a group of Silence] My old fella didn't see that, did he? He gets ever so cross.
Rory: So...what kind of doctor are you?
River: Archaeology. [casually shoots another Silence] Love a tomb.

A Good Man Goes To War [6.7][edit]

(4 June 2011) In this episode The Doctor, Amy and Rory first learn that River was born Melody, the daughter of Amy and Rory
River: [lifts the phone off the wall to speak to the guards of Stormcage] Oh, turn it off. I'm breaking in not out. This is River Song, back in her cell. Oh, and I'll take breakfast at the usual time. Thank you! [dances forward, only to see a man standing in shadow] Oh, are you boys dressing as Romans now? I thought nobody read my memos.
Rory: Dr. Song, it's Rory. Sorry, have we met yet? Timestreams, I'm not quite sure where we are.
River: Yes. Yes, we've met. Hello, Rory.
Rory: What's wrong?
River: It's my birthday. The Doctor took me ice skating on the river Thames in 1814, the last of the great Frost Fairs. He got Stevie Wonder to sing for me under London Bridge.
Rory: Stevie Wonder sang in 1814?
River: Yes, he did, but you must never tell him.
Rory: I've come from the Doctor too.
River: Yes, but from a different point in time.
Rory: Unless there's two of them.
River: That's a whole different birthday.

Demons run when a good man goes to war.
Night will fall and drown the sun,
When a good man goes to war.
Friendship dies and true love lies.
Night will fall and the dark will rise,
When a good man goes to war.
Demons run, but count the cost.
The battle's won, but the child is lost.
  • River describing the battle of Demon's Run

River: Well, soldier, how goes the day?
The Doctor: Where the hell have you been?! Every time you've asked I have been there. Where the hell were you today?
River: I couldn't have prevented this.
The Doctor: You could have tried!
River: And so, my love, could you. [looks toward Amy and Rory] I know you're not all right, but hold tight, Amy, because you're going to be.
The Doctor: You think I wanted this? I didn't do this! This wasn't me!
River: This was exactly you; all this. All of it. You make them so afraid. When you began all those years ago, sailing off to see the universe, did you ever think you'd become this? The man who can turn an army around at the mention of his name: Doctor. The word for healer and wise man throughout the universe. We get that word from you, you know, but if you carry on the way you are, what might that word come to mean? To the people of the Gamma Forests, the word "doctor" means "mighty warrior." How far you've come, and now they've taken a child. The child of your best friends, and they're going to turn her into a weapon, just to bring you down. And all this, my love, in fear of you.
The Doctor: ...Who are you?
River: Oh look, your cot! Haven't seen that in a very long while!
The Doctor: No, you tell me. You tell me who you are!
River: [places his hand on the cot] I am telling you. Can't you read?
[The Doctor seeming stares at the cot, then looks at River in shock, then delight]
The Doctor: Hello!
River: [smiles] Hello.
The Doctor: [laughs] But that means --
River: I'm afraid it does.
The Doctor: [looks at Amy and Rory, then turns back to River] But you and I, we, we - [makes kissing noises]
River: Yes.
The Doctor: [looks at Amy and Rory again, then rubs hands together in glee] How do I look?
River: Amazing.
The Doctor: I'd better be.
River: Yes, you'd better be.

River: [giving Amy the prayer leaf in the cradle] It's your daughter's name, in the language of the forest.
Amy: I know my daughter's name!
River Song: Except they don’t have a word for "pond," because the only water in the forest is the river. The Doctor will find your daughter and he will care for her, whatever it takes, and I know that. [slowly, the writing on the prayer leaf is translated into English, revealing the child's name: River Song] It's me. I'm Melody. I'm your daughter.

Let's Kill Hitler [6.8][edit]

(27 August 2011) In this episode Mels, the childhood friend of Amy Pond, is revealed to have been an previous incarnation of River
Mels: Penny in the air. [she begins regenerating with Time Lord energies] The penny drops.
Rory: What the hell is going on?
The Doctor: Back! Back! Get back!
Mels: The last time I did this I ended up a toddler — in the middle of New York.
Amy: Okay, Doctor, explain what is happening — please.
The Doctor: [having realized the threads of destinies] "Mels", short for --
Mels: [nods in affirmation] Melody.
Amy: Yeah. I named my daughter after her.
The Doctor: You named your daughter — after your daughter.

The Doctor: If you were in a hurry you could have killed me in the cornfield!
Melody: We'd only just met! I'm a psychopath. I'm not rude. [attempts to shoot the Doctor, but he has stolen the magazine from her gun]
Amy: You're not a psychopath! [to the Doctor] Why would she be a psychopath?
Melody: Oh, Mummy, Mummy — pay attention. I was trained and conditioned for one purpose: I was born to kill the Doctor.
The Doctor: Demon's Run, remember? My bespoke psychopath.
Melody: I'm all yours, sweetie. [kisses him]
The Doctor: Only River Song gets to call me that.
Melody: And who is River Song?
The Doctor: An old friend of mine.
Melody: Stupid name.

Nazi officer: What are you doing here?
Melody: Well, I was on my way to this gay gypsy Bar Mitzvah for the disabled, when I suddenly thought, "Gosh, the Third Reich's a bit rubbish — I think I'll kill the Führer." Who's with me?
Nazi officer: Shoot her.
Melody: [after having been shot to no effect by a patrol of Nazis] Tip for you all — never shoot a girl while she's regenerating.

Melody: You're dying, and you stopped to change?
The Doctor: Oh, you always waste time when you don't have any. Time is not the boss of you! Rule 408. Amelia Pond, Judgement Death Machine, why am I not surprised? [holds up a cane] Sonic cane!
Melody: Are you serious?
The Doctor: Never knowingly be serious. Rule number 27. You might want to write these down.

Melody: [having rescued Amy and Rory in the TARDIS] I seem to be able to fly her. She showed me how. She taught me. The Doctor says I am the child of the TARDIS. What does he mean?
Amy: Where is he?

[Melody returns them to the cafe, where the Doctor is dying]
Amy: [crouching over the Doctor] You can't die now. I know you don't die now.
The Doctor: Oh, Pond. You've got a schedule for everything.
Amy: That doesn't make any sense.
Rory: Doctor, what do we do? Come on. How do we help you?
The Doctor: I'm sorry, Rory, you can't. Nobody can. Ponds, just listen to me. I need to talk to your daughter. [Melody crouches closely over the Doctor] Find her. Find River Song and tell her something for me.
Melody: Tell her what? [the Doctor whispers in her ear] Well, I'm sure she knows.

Amy: You're safe now. Apparently you used all your remaining regenerations in one go. You shouldn't have done that.
River: Mother, I had to try.
Amy: I know.
River: He said no one could save him — but he must have known I could.
The Doctor: Rule one: The Doctor lies.
Nurse: She just needs to rest. She'll be absolutely fine.
The Doctor: No, she won't. She will be amazing.

Closing Time [6.12][edit]

(24 September 2011) In this episode, Madame Kovarian and the Silence track River down, and force her into a spacesuit at Lake Silencio, in order to kill the Doctor
Madame Kovarian: So they made you a doctor today, did they? [mockingly] Doctor River Song. How clever you are. [indicating a date in River's diary] You understand what this is, don't you?
River: According to some accounts, it's the day the Doctor dies.
Madame Kovarian: By Silencio Lake. On the Plain of Sighs. An impossible astronaut will rise from the deep, and strike the Time Lord dead.
River: It's a story.
Madame Kovarian: And this is where it begins.

Madame Kovarian: You never really escaped us, Melody Pond. We were always coming for you.
River: [frightened] How do you know who I am?!
Madame Kovarian: I made you what you are. The woman who kills the Doctor.

The Wedding of River Song [6.13][edit]

(1 October 2011) In this episode, the Doctor marries River Song, in order to persuade her to kill him, thus restoring time
[River wearing an astronaut suit, about to kill the Doctor at Lake Silencio]
The Doctor: Well then. Here we are at last.
River: I can't stop it. The suit's in control.
The Doctor: You're not supposed to. This has to happen.
River: Run.
The Doctor: Did run. Running brought me here.
River: I tried to fight it, but I can't. It's too strong.
The Doctor: I know. It's okay. This is where I die. This is a fixed point. This must happen — this always happens. Don't worry. You won't even remember this. Look over there.
River: It's me. How can I be there?
The Doctor: That's you from the future. Serving time for a murder you probably can't remember. My murder.
River: Why would you do that? Make me watch?
The Doctor: So that you know this is inevitable. And you are forgiven. Always and completely forgiven.
River: Please, my love. Please, please. Just run.
The Doctor: Can't.
River: Time can be rewritten.
The Doctor: Don't you dare. Goodbye, River.
[The Doctor closes his eyes, and flinching as he hears energy discharges, cautiously opens them as he realizes he is still alive]
River: [smiling] Hello, sweetie.
The Doctor: What have you done?!
River: Well, I think I just drained my weapons systems.
The Doctor: But this is fixed! This is a fixed point in time!
River: Fixed points can be rewritten.
The Doctor: [furious] No, they can't, of course they can't!! Who told you —
[time collapses]

River: Am I the woman who marries you? Or the woman who murders you?
The Doctor: I don't want to marry you.
River: I don't want to murder you.

River: Such a basic mistake, Madame Kovarian: take a child, raise her into the perfect psychopath, introduce her to the Doctor. Who else was I going to fall in love with?

River: Those reports of the sunspots and the solar flares, they're wrong. It's not the Sun, it's you. The sky is full of a million million voices saying, "Yes, of course we'll help." You've touched so many lives, saved so many people...did you think when your time came, you'd really have to do more than just ask? You've decided that the universe is better off without you — But the universe doesn't agree.
The Doctor: River, no one can help me. A fixed point has been altered. Time is disintegrating.
River: I can't let you die!
The Doctor: I have to die!
River: Shut up! I can't let you die without knowing you are loved — by so many and so much — and by no one more than me.
The Doctor: River, you and I, we know what this means: We are Ground Zero of an explosion that will engulf all reality. Billions on billions will suffer and die.
River: I'll suffer if I have to kill you.
The Doctor: More than every living thing in the universe?
River: Yes.

[River tells Amy and Rory that the Doctor is still alive]
Rory: Are you sure? Are you really sure?
River: Of course I'm sure, I'm his wife!
Amy: And I'm... [stops suddenly, realizing] his mother-in-law.
River: [bemused] Father dear, I think mummy might need another drink.

The Angels Take Manhattan [7.5][edit]

(29 September 2012)
River: When one's in love with an ageless god who insists on the face of a twelve-year-old, one does one's best to hide the damage.
The Doctor: It must hurt. Come here.
River: Yes. The wrist is pretty bad, too.

Amy: That gravestone, Rory's...there's room for one more name, isn't there?
The Doctor: What are you talking about? Back away from the Angel. Come back to the TARDIS. We'll figure something out.
Amy: The Angel – would it send me back to the same time, to him?
The Doctor: I don't know. Nobody knows.
Amy: But it's my best shot, yeah?
The Doctor: No!
River: Doctor, shut up! Yes! Yes, it is!
The Doctor: Amy...
Amy: Well, then. I just have to blink, right?
The Doctor: No!
Amy: It'll be fine. I know it will. I'll- I'll- I’ll be with him, like I should be. Me and Rory together. [pauses] Melody?
The Doctor: Stop it! Just- Just stop it!
[River comes forward and stands behind Amy, taking her hand]
Amy: [crying] You look after him, and you be a good girl, and you look after him. [River kisses her hand]
The Doctor: You are creating fixed time! I will never be able to see you again!
Amy: [sobbing harder] I'll be fine. I'll be with him.
The Doctor: [Also crying now] Amy, please, just come back into the TARDIS. Come along, Pond, please.
Amy: Raggedy man, [Amy turns to look the Doctor in the eye] goodbye!
[Amy vanishes as she is sent to the past by the angel. Amy's name appears alongside Rory's on the gravestone]
The Doctor: [sobbing] No!

River: Okay. This book I've got to write, Melody Malone. I presume I send it to Amy to get it published?
The Doctor: Yes. Yes.
River: I'll tell her to write an afterword. For you. Maybe you'll listen to her.

The Name of the Doctor [7.14][edit]

(18 May 2013)
River: Doctor, please listen to me. At least hear me.
The Doctor: Now, if I don’t come back, and I might not –
River: Doctor!
The Doctor: Go to the TARDIS. The Fast Return Protocol should be on. She'll take you home and shut herself down.
River: There has to be another way. Use the TARDIS. Use something! Save her, yes, but for God's sake, be sensible! [River tries to slap the Doctor, but he catches her wrist] How are you even doing that? I'm not really here.
The Doctor: You're always here to me. And I always listen. And I can always see you.
River: Then why didn't you speak to me?
The Doctor: Because I thought it would hurt too much.
River: I believe I could have coped.
The Doctor: No, I thought it would hurt me. And I was right [he kisses her passionately] Since no one in this room can see you, God knows how that looked. [Vastra, Jenny and Strax look awkwardly at each other] There is a time to live and a time to sleep. You are an echo, River, like Clara, like all of us in the end. My fault, I know. But you should have faded by now.
River: It's hard to leave when you haven't said goodbye.
The Doctor: Then tell me, because I don't know – how do I say it?
River: There's only one way I'd accept. If you ever loved me, say it like you're going to come back.
[The Doctor thinks for a moment]'
The Doctor: Well then...See you around, Professor River Song.
River: [smiles] Till the next time, Doctor.
The Doctor: Don't wait up.
River: Oh, and there’s one more thing.
The Doctor: Isn't there always?
River: I was mentally linked with Clara. If she's really dead, then how can I still be here?
The Doctor: Okay. How?
River: Spoilers! Goodbye, sweetie.
[River fades away. The Doctor looks at her for a final moment, before turning and stepping into his timestream]

Quotes about River Song[edit]

Time of Angels [5.4][edit]

(24 April 2010)
Amy: Explain. Who is that and how did she do that museum thing?
The Doctor: It's a long story and I don't know most of it. Off we go.
Amy: What are you doing?
The Doctor: Leaving. She's got where she wants to go, let's go where we want to go.
Amy: Are you basically running away?
The Doctor: Yep.
Amy: Why?
The Doctor: 'Cause she's the future. My future.
Amy: And you run away from that?
The Doctor: I can run away from anything I like. Time is not the boss of me.

Amy: Is River Song your wife? 'Cause she's someone from your future. And the way she talks to you, I've never seen anyone do that. She's kind of like, you know, "Heel, boy." She's Mrs. Doctor from the future, isn't she? Is she going to be your wife one day?

Flesh and Stone [5.5][edit]

(1 May 2010)
Father Octavian: Listen to me! It's important. You can't trust her.
The Doctor: Trust who?
Father Octavian: River Song. You think you know her, but you don't. You don't understand who or what she is.
The Doctor: Then tell me.
Father Octavian: I've told you more than I should. Now please. You have to go. It's your duty to your friends.
The Doctor: Just tell me why she was in Stormcage.
Father Octavian: She killed a man. A good man. A hero to many.
The Doctor: Who?
Father Octavian: You don't want to know, sir, you really don't.

Day of the Moon [6.2][edit]

(30 April 2011)
Canton: What about Doctor Song? She dove off a rooftop!
The Doctor: Don't worry! She does that.

The Wedding of River Song [6.13][edit]

(1 October 2011)
Emperor Churchill: "Tick tock goes the clock," as the old song says. But they don't, do they? The clocks never tick. "Something has happened to time." That's what you say. What you never stop saying. "All of history is happening at once." But what does that mean? What happened? Explain to me in terms that I can understand. What happened to time?
The Doctor: A woman.

Emperor Churchill: You mentioned a woman.
The Doctor: Yes. I'm getting to her.
Emperor Churchill: What's she like? Attractive, I assume.
The Doctor: Hell. In high heels.
Emperor Churchill: Tell me more.

External links[edit]

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