Royal Rumble

From Wikiquote
Jump to: navigation, search

The Royal Rumble is the first WWE Pay per view held of each year since 1989. The attraction of each royal rumble is a battle royal where 30 men come into the ring one at a time every two minutes. The last man standing in the ring after all 30 have entered is the winner. The first Royal Rumble was held on January 24th 1988 and aired on USA Network. Each Rumble thereafter has been on PPV.

1988[edit]

Jesse "The Body" Ventura: You know, McMahon, I'm getting tired of your barbs tonight, and I'm tired of you getting down on me, and if you don't knock it off, you're gonna hear from Barry Bloom.
Vince McMahon: Who?
Jesse: You know who.

Jesse: [on Hacksaw Jim Duggan] What's he gonna come in and beat everybody with a 2x4?

Jesse: How does he get the Gang over the top? That is the question, McMahon. The Gang weighs somewhere between 450-500 pounds—how is Duggan gonna get him over the top rope?
Vince: Obviously, he'd have to do what I believe, in some sort of fashion, the Gang's momentum is heading into the rope, and with the Gang going into the rope, Duggan can get underneath, he'll go.
Jesse: There might be another way too, if he can find the 2x4.
Vince: Why's that?
Jesse: Well, he could hit the Gang with the 2x4. That would be the only equalizer I could see.
Vince: Then again, the Hacksaw himself, somewhere around the 285 pound mark...[One Man Gang charges Duggan, who pulls the top rope down, sending the Gang over and onto the floor] Oh yes! That's it!
Jesse: He pulled the top rope down! I can't believe it. Out of all the people to win this thing, it's him?
Vince: What a smart thing to do. Hacksaw Jim Duggan drops the top rope on the One Man Gang!
Jesse: I can't believe he actually did it.
Howard Finkel: The winner of the Royal Rumble: Hacksaw Jim Duggan!
Jesse: You know, with the brain power that Duggan's got, I'll bet you he tripped and fell and the Gang toppled over.

1989[edit]

[During the Royal Rumble drawing]
"Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase: It's time for the Million Dollar Man to pick the Million Dollar number. [Draws his number out of the cage.] And the winning number is... [Virgil opens up the number and reveals it to DiBiase.] Wait a minute...[brings in Slick] Uh, Slick, Slick. When you drew numbers for your men, how did it go?
Slick: [laughs] Brother! It was unbelievable!
Ted DiBiase: We should talk.

Jesse: Look at how the Boss Man is manhandling Hogan.
Gorilla Monsoon: Yeah but he just got in the ring. The Hulkster's been in the ring for a half hour.
Jesse: No he wasn't! He was in there five minutes ago!

Gorilla: Hulk still creating mayhem for the Big Boss Man.
Jesse: Now, that's illegal! Hogan was eliminated!
Gorilla: Yes, he is, Jesse. So what?
Jesse: "So what"? If they'd have done that to Hogan, Monsoon, you'd have been totally irate!

Jesse: And this is what Hulkamania is all about. Going out there and flagarantly cheating. Not leaving the ring when you're eliminated. Causing someone else to be eliminated when you have no business out there.
Gorilla: Are you condoning what the Big Boss Man did; what he and the Slickster did to the Hulkster?
Jesse: That was weeks ago. I'm talking here and now, Monsoon.
Gorilla: Sorry, you could only go back to the last couple of minutes then, or what happened yesterday.
Jesse: Hey, yesterday's gone. It's today that counts.

Gorilla: [seeing Virgil outside the ring after DiBiase has entered] Hey, he's not supposed to be out there!
Jesse: Well who knows, Virgil could be number 31.

Jesse: I'll tell you something though, Gorilla. As bad as it looks for the Million Dollar Man right now, don't count him out yet.
Gorilla: Why, because Virgil's still out there?
Jesse: No, because he's a darn good wrestler.
[Just as he says this, Big John Studd tosses DiBiase out, winning the Rumble]
Gorilla: Oh, there he goes! [Virgil jumps in and attacks Studd] Look out, Virgil from behind. [Studd turns around and fights him throughout] Big John just turned around and faced him, didn't even acknowledge those shots he got. Virgil is indeed in trouble. Just like a rag doll. You're talking about 280 pounds of man there.
Jesse: This is definitely a little bit of an added attraction, isn't it?
Gorilla: The Royal Rumble is over, John Studd is the winner; he's just having...this is some creme on the cake, Jess.
Jesse: Well, I got to admit, Virgil kind of brought it on himself. But you got to respect Virgil, he's a paid bodyguard and he came in and tried to do his job.
[As he says this, Studd tosses Virgil out]
Gorilla: There goes the 31st man.
Howard Finkel: Here is your winner of the Royal Rumble: Big John Studd!

1990[edit]

Jesse: Not even Mickey and Goofy could get in here and I made sure of that. They didn't have tickets. Do you have a ticket Schiavone?
Tony Schiavone: No I don't.
Jesse: Then what are you doing here?
Tony: I just wanted to sit beside you if that's okay.

Mean Gene Okerlund: Last year, allegedly, Ted DiBiase, you drew #30, which would be advantageous...
Ted DiBiase: "Allegedly"? Allegedly? No. Last year, little man, I drew #30!
Mean Gene: Well some suspected there might've been a little chicanery, but certainly that wouldn't happen this year, with all the added security of World Wrestling Federation president Jack Tunney, you're not gonna be buying...
Ted DiBiase: Security? You call that security? I call it downright gestapolism (sp?). I didn't even have the opportunity to draw my own number!
Mean Gene: Wait a minute, Ted DiBiase, you asked Virgil to draw the number for you.
Ted DiBiase: I didn't ask Virgil to draw the number!
Mean Gene: Well, of course you did!
Ted DiBiase: Virgil, did I ask you to draw the number! No! Shut up, don't say anything! You made a mistake, I...I can't believe this!
Mean Gene: Wait a minute, what number did you draw?
Ted DiBiase: None of your business what number I...
Mean Gene: We're gonna find out sooner or later, where's the number? (DiBiase hands him the number) Oh, you couldn't have gotten a worse draw. This is #1—the worst number of the lot!
Ted DiBiase: Let me tell you something, little man. It doesn't matter whether #1, #2, or #30. What it means is I'll be the first man in the ring, I'll be the last man in the ring, and it's a golden opportunity for me to show all you 9-to-5 nickel-and-dimers out there that I'm the greatest wrestling talent in the world. I'll be there to the end, and I'll win it!

Jesse: I remember not too long ago on Saturday Night's Main Event, the Genius upset the Champion Hulk Hogan!
Tony: He did?
Jesse: Yeah. Schiavone, who won the match?
Tony: Yeah but Perfect was on the outside with the belt. We all know what happened.
Jesse: No yeah buts! Who won the match?
Tony: The Genius.

Mr. Perfect: Hair grows back, but, Beefcake, your ribs, they may not grow back the right way.
Mean Gene: That was totally uncalled for! To the Royal Rumble—I'm sure you're gonna have to deal with the likes of Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake later on. Thirty of the greatest...what was the number, by the way, that you drew?
Mr. Perfect: I drew the perfect number, and everybody knows the "perfect number" in the Royal Rumble is #30. And you bet I choose #30! I pulled it right out! And I'm gonna tell you something right now, as I'm standing here, the Royal Rumble is gonna be just like everything else I've done in my life—absolutely perfect.

Jake "The Snake" Roberts: It never ceases to amaze me, what the human mind can come up with. I mean, you think of the whole concept. The Royal Rumble, this afternoon you're gonna take thirty men, and every two minutes you're gonna send somebody to that ring—a fresh man. So you're thinking to yourself, well what number might be the best? Well, the last number would be the best, but that doesn't really mean anything, cause there's still gonna be a lot of hungry men out there, and hopefully I'll be one of those hungry men. The man that wins this match is not gonna be the man that's the best wrestler, the best athlete; it's gonna be the man that will do anything, the man that will...take that extra step, do just a little bit more than anybody else, maybe sacrifice a little bit more than anybody else. Now, me—that sounds just a lot like me.

Tony: Here's the countdown...who will be next in the Royal Rumble?
Jesse: Uh Oh! It's André the Giant! The first member of Heenan family makes his appearance, André the Giant, The 8th Wonder Of The World.

Jesse: They got him! Demolition have accomplished a major obstacle. They've eliminated Andre The Giant
Tony: Andre The Giant...certainly one of the favorites for the Royal Rumble...will be no more in this event.

Jesse: [as Smash, Haku and Jim Neidhart try to lift Earthquake out of the ring] They've got the feet up. They got the Earthquake's feet up, they're calling for more help.
Tony: Here comes Snuka. [Jimmy Snuka pushes from under Earthquake] Underneath.
Jesse: There's four of them. Four guys can't get the Earthquake...[DiBiase joins in] Here comes DiBiase–that's five.
Tony: And Bravo... [Just as Dino Bravo tries to stop them, Earthquake finally gets pushed over the top to the floor] Oh!
Jesse: Eliminated the Earthquake! That is a major accomplishment of major teamwork of major proportions!
Jimmy Hart: It took five of them! FIVE OF THEM!
Tony: It took...many of them.

Jesse: Shawn Michaels eliminated by the Warrior. And Rick Martel eliminated by the Warrior and look at this. Look at this!!
Tony: My God.
Jesse: Hulk Hogan and the Warrior!!
Tony: There is not a person sitting down. Everyone on their feet. Look at the eyes of the Hulkster...the eyes of the Warrior.
Jesse: Whoa!!! What a match up this will be! The Ultimate Warrior and Hulk Hogan one-on-one.
Tony: [Hogan and Warrior stare at each other] Hold on to your seats. This place is gonna explode.
Jesse: [Hogan and Warrior collide into each other]Woah! Nobody moved. Again, nobody moved.
Tony: Look at this.
Jesse: [Hogan runs vertically across the ring, Warrior runs horizontally.] Criss-cross.
Tony: [Hogan drops face first on the mat] The Hulkster down...he missed a clothesline.
Jesse: OH!! And they clotheslined each other. They're both down, unbelieveable.
Tony: Absolutely incredible. These two athletes...the Hulkster, the Warrior...every man for himself going at it...and they both are down. Listen to the fans.

Jesse: Here's the Perfect Plex! [Mr. Perfect plants him] Look at this! He could've pinned him.
Tony: [But Hulk Hogan escapes and rises to his knees] NO!
Jesse: I don't believe this.
Tony: Absolutely not. [Perfect tries to attack Hogan, but Hogan begins Hulking up] You're right in saying that Perfect is the freshest of the two, but the other is Hulk Hogan. [On his feet, Hogan now attacks Perfect] And here he comes! [Hogan slingshots Perfect into the turnbuckle]
Jesse: WHOA! He put him into the post! See what Perfect did to the post!
Tony: [Hogan continues to attack Perfect] Actually, he was saved by the post that time, I think.
Jesse: Saved? How do you get saved hitting the post?
Tony: Well, if he hadn't hit the post, he would've gone over the top. [Hogan signals to another corner] There he goes! [Hogan throws Perfect out, winning the Rumble] YES!
Jesse: I don't believe it!
Howard: The winner of the Royal Rumble: World Wrestling Federation Champion Hulk Hogan!
Tony: [Hogan takes a sign from the front row and presents it to the crowd. It reads "HULKAMANIA WILL LIVE FOREVER"] YEAH! Hulkamania will live forever!

1991[edit]

Mean Gene: Sensational Queen Sherri, what are you doing out here tonight?
Sherri: I am here to make a public challenge, Mean Gene.
Mean Gene: To whom?
Sherri: To the Ultimate Warrior, who else? Now, Sgt. Slaughter has promised the Macho King Randy Savage that, should he win the WWF Championship tonight, he has promised the Macho King that he will — that he will grant him a championship match. Now, being the honorable and brave man that we all know Sgt. Slaughter is...
Gorilla: Please!
Sherri: ...there is no doubt in my mind and in my heart that Sgt. Slaughter will do nothing more than grant and come through with every promise that he has acknowledged toward the Kingdom of the Madness. I only hope that the Ultimate Warrior is as honorable as everyone seems to think that he is. However, I have my doubts. Ultimate Warrior, if you can hear me right now, which I think you can, if you are as brave and as honorable as everyone says you are, why don't you come right out here in front of everyone and accept my challenge. I kind of think he's yellow myself. I don't think you're brave, I don't think that you're even honorable. As a matter of fact, I think that you're yellow from the top of your head to the bottom of your toes. Well, where you at, Warrior? Why don't you come out here? I can tell you things about your precious Ultimate Warrior...
[The music hits and the Ultimate Warrior walks to the stage]
Gorilla: Uh-oh!
Rowdy Roddy Piper: Look out! You asked for it, you got it!
Mean Gene: What about it?
Sherri: Yeah, what about it, Warrior? You're so honorable, you're such a wonderful champion, are you willing to grant the Macho King — should you win your WWF Title tonight, should you retain — will you give the Macho King Randy Savage a title shot? No answer? You know, I've admired you for a long time, Warrior. I've looked into those great big beautiful hazel eyes. As a matter of act, I've also looked at those lips and wondered what it would be like...and also, I've always looked at your chest...[slowly unzips the Warrior's jacket]...and wondered what it would be like to touch your chest. As a matter of fact, I've often admired you from afar, Warrior. [Slides the jacket off] This strong, long, wide back; and your hair, it's very wonderful, I've wondered what it would be like to see the wind blowing through your hair. So what's it gonna be, Warrior? Are you honorable, are you brave, are you gonna give the Macho King a title match if you retain that belt tonight? Come on, Warrior, can't you talk to me? Come on, what's it gonna be? Come on, Warrior, can't you say something to me? [Leans in and quickly kisses him, to which he smiles] Oh, that's the most wonderful thing, the most thrilling thing that has ever happened to me. Please, as I look into your wonderful face and I know the champion that you are, and honorable man that you are, [sinks to her knees] I know that you would grant the Macho King his title shot. Come on, Warrior, aren't you gonna grant the Macho King a title match? Come on, Warrior, tell everyone what an honorable man that you are, what a brave and wonderful champion that you are, Warrior. What is it to you? Come on, aren't you gonna give the Macho King a title match? Just say yes to me, that's all I want from you. That is all I want from you, Warrior.
[Warrior pauses, then spits on the stage]
Warrior: [before walking away] NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Savage: (having been watching the whole interview from the dressing room, now in a rage) You said no! You said no! I'm gonna get him now! [He runs out, through the audience, onto the stage, where Sherri is irate]
Gorilla: He said "no" emphatically, and look at the Macho King. Is he bent out of shape.
Piper: Can you blame him? It's like being kissed by a viper.
Gorilla: Sort of backfired for them, Rod.
Piper: Medusa's got nothing on this gal!

Gorilla: I wanna make this clear right now that the views of Sgt. Slaughter and General Adnan do not in any way reflect the views of the World Wrestling Federation, or the Arab-Americans, or the overwhelming majority of Arabs throughout the world, for that matter.
Piper: Well, I understand that, Gorilla, but I wanna make a point. This is America, and as much as I hate his guts, you can do what you want to in America, and Slaughter is free to do. That's why our men and women are over there now. They are fighting for the right to be free! If I don't like it, I'll get in the ring and I'll do something about it, but this is America, and that's why we're all here! God bless America!

[Sgt. Slaughter has just pinned the Ultimate Warrior, after Savage hit the Warrior with a scepter. The crowd is yelling "bullshit!"]
Piper: What do ya mean, "What happened?" What the hell do ya think happened?
Gorilla: I think the referee, in this excitement, Hot Rod, just automatically went down and made the three-count. I think we have a disqualification here.
Piper: I hope so. Excitement, hell! He ought to be keeping his eyes on what's going on!
Gorilla: We haven't had any official word yet.
Piper: [as Warrior runs out of the arena] Where's he going?
Gorilla: I think he's going after the Macho King.
Howard: Ladies and gentlemen, here's is the official decision. The winner of this bout...and NEW...
Gorilla and Piper: NO! NO!
Howard: [cont'd] World Wrestling Federation Champion: Sgt. Slaughter!
Piper: Bull! Bull!
Gorilla: What a miscarriage of justice! I can't believe it!
Piper: That's bull! You're not gonna let this hang like this! I can't believe this! You puke! It took three of you!
Gorilla: I don't believe it! This is ridiculous! This is an outrage!
Slaughter: [walking down the aisle] I told you!
Piper: You told us what?! You can't do nothing by yourself!
Gorilla: He'd better cut that thing in half, Hot Rod, and give half of it to the Macho King!

DiBiase: [after Virgil drops the Million Dollar Belt in front of him] What do you think you're doing? You get down there, and pick that thing up right now, and you wrap it around my waist. Need I tell you, need I remind you one more time about your family? About your mother?
Gorilla: Give me a break.
Piper: Virgil, remember it just don't matter.
DiBiase: Pick it up!
Piper: Remember, Virgil, there comes a point...
DiBiase: Wrap it around my waist!
Piper: What, are you gonna eat it for the rest of your life?!
Gorilla: How humiliating.
[Virgil drops to one knee and picks up the belt]
DiBiase: That's right. That's right. Like I always say: everybody's got a price.
[Virgil then wallops DiBiase with the belt]
Piper: YEAH!!! YEAH!!! YEAH!!!
Gorilla: Listen to this capacity crowd, they love it!

Piper: We don't wanna forget, being that it's a rumble, it'd be okay for Fuji to deck Blubber Love.
Gorilla: Oh, I'd like to see that.

Piper: I'm still expecting #18 to show up. He's not officially out of here until the clock starts for the next participant.
Gorilla: Yeah, but we don't know who #18 was.
Piper: I know, but he's still got a chance to come out...maybe, I don't know, but until that clock starts again, #18 is still legal. I'm not sure...
Gorilla: [as the 10-second clock appears] I believe that is a first in the history of the Royal Rumble that the time limit ran down and nobody came through the curtain.
Piper: Too late now, 18's outta there. [Buzzer sounds for entry #19: Animal] WHOOAAA!!
Gorilla: It's Animal from the Legion of Doom. Well, whoever, Hot Rod, #18 was, he has forfeited his position here in the lineup, so there's no way, shape or form that he can re-enter and be victorious.
Piper: He is history, baby. If you don't got the guts, you don't belong in the building.
[Much later]
Gorilla: Uh-oh, we're gonna find out right now, Hot Rod, who #18 was—here comes the last entry. [buzzer sounds for entry #30: Tugboat] It's Tugboat.
Piper: Wait a sec.
Gorilla: That means that the Macho King was #18.
Piper: The Macho King wasn't hurt.
Gorilla: He was one of the odds-on favorites to win this thing.
Piper: I can't figure it.
Gorilla: It could be the Ultimate Warrior ran him right out of the building!
Piper: It could be! It could be. That's the only thing I can think of.

Piper: How long has it been for Valentine?
Gorilla: Well, the Hammer has been in well over a half an hour.
Piper: What tenacity! The Model, too.
Gorilla: But you know, with Valentine, it takes fifteen minutes just to get his attention, and then he starts to get warmed up. The more you beat on him, the more he likes it.

Gorilla: [Hulk Hogan slams Earthquake after failing to do so earlier] Hulk off... Yes, he got him that time!
Piper: [Hogan signals to the crowd] Throw him OUT!
Gorilla: [slowly, Earthquake rises to his feet] I can't believe this, what kind of power the Hulkster possesses... He's setting him up here, look out! [Hogan throws Earthquake out, winning the Rumble] It's over!
Piper: What a Rumble!
Howard: Here is the winner of the Royal Rumble: the Immortal Hulk Hogan!
Gorilla: Unbelievable victory by that man, Hulk Hogan! What dedication!
Piper: What guts! What a Royal Rumble!
Gorilla: [Hogan signals for a sign from the crowd] Well, Hot Rod, he wasn't going to let down our men and women in the Persian Gulf. [The sign says "HULK RULES"] He made a promise that he dedicated this match to all of them, and it doesn't surprise me that he's the last man in the ring.

1992[edit]

Bobby "The Brain" Heenan: Look at the New Foundation, they must've just got up.
Gorilla: What do you mean they just got up?
Bobby: They still got their pajamas on.
Gorilla: I'm going to tell them you said that.
Bobby: I don't care.

Bobby: Since Ric Flair is the real world's champion, he shouldn't even be in the rumble. He should face the winner. That would be fair. If you want to be fair to Flair,
Gorilla: Don't start with that fair to Flair to me!

Piper: Well, what we're dealing with is one of the original Village People here, with his manager Jimmy Hart, who keeps kissing the belt leaving all that lipstick on it. I heard the Mountie out here saying, "first thing I'm gonna do," pounds his chest, I don't know him, he's something. "First thing I'm gonna do, I'm gonna take Piper's integrity!" Sounds like Jacques Cousteau trying to find a dry spot in the ocean. I ain't go no damn integrity! How do think I got so far? "Second thing I'm gonna do, I'm gonna take Roddy Piper's manhood!" Huh? I come here to fight! I don't know what you come here to do! I come here to win two titles—I can't do that 'til I win the first one! I think you've been dreamin', I think it's been all wet too.

Lord Alfred Hayes: Tell me, Mr. Flair, how did you fare in the Royal Rumble drawing?
Ric Flair: Lord Alfred, I drew #3. To a lot of people out there, they'd say, "my god, what a disadvantage you're going at." But look at it like this. When your name is Ric Flair, when you're the claimant to the real World Heavyweight Championship, you know that, to make everybody a believer, that I've gotta beat 29 other men; so I'll get #3, that means I'll be in there close to an hour. It makes no difference—when I walk out, I will be the World Wrestling Federation Champion, against all odds and that's the bottom line.

Howard: And at this time. To make a brief statement prior to the rumble’s beginning. It gives me great a great deal of pleasure to introduce to you the esteemed president of the World Wrestling Federation. Mr. Jack Tunney!
[Crowd boos!]
Bobby: Ol’ Jack "On the Take" Tunney.
Gorilla: Quiet!
Tunney: Thank you very much Howard. I would like to take this opportunity to officially welcome everyone who is watching this spectacular event with us. This is a very big undertaking for the WWF. The winner of the R—uh This event will not only have the prestige of beating 29 other men but also be declared the undisputed World Wrestling Federation Champion.
Bobby: [impatient] Come on let’s go!
Gorilla: Keep your pants on.
Tunney: I would like to say, in closing, may the best man win! Thank you.
Bobby: Yeah, yeah yeah.
Howard: Thank you Mr. President.
Bobby: He’s been the best president since Noriega.
Gorilla: Will you be serious?

Gorilla: There goes the buzzer
[The third entrant is Ric Flair]
Bobby: NO!
Gorilla: Oh, yes!
Bobby: DAMN IT!

Bobby: That's okay. I know Perfect's got him ready. [Flair gives one last high-five to Mr. Perfect and enters the ring] He's confident.
Gorilla: Did you hear what I just said?
Bobby: What? You talking to me?
Gorilla: Yes.
Bobby: What'd you say?
Gorilla: No one ever, in the history of the Royal Rumble, has drawn numbers 1-5, and been there at the end.
Bobby: OH, SHUT UP! Take your time, Champ. Pace yourself! I'm gonna have to apologize to the people; I don't think I can be really be objective.
Gorilla: When have you ever been objective?!

Bobby: Flair, let Sags do all the work. Go over to the corner and rest, you only have two minutes...
Gorilla: You're supposed to be a broadcast journalist — be objective here.
Bobby: I told you to shut up! Leave me alone.

Bobby: Back off, Ric. Let Haku do the dir... the kicking. [Haku attacks Flair)] See!
Gorilla: Oh, there it is!
Bobby: What the heck are you doing, Haku? Have you gone nuts?
Gorilla: Just to show you it's every man for himself.
Bobby: Oh no, no, no!
Gorilla: ...every guy that comes out here.
Bobby: This isn't fair to Flair! There are no friends, Monsoon! Only enemies—thirty enemies!

Bobby: Where's Perfect?
Gorilla: They're not allowed at ringside, Brain. You know that.
Bobby: He's not a manager, he's an executive consultant.
Gorilla: Same thing — a pest.

Bobby: Shawn Michaels is making guacamole out of El Matador.
Gorilla: He is not.
Bobby: Look at the tights; they're green.

[Ric delivers a low blow to British Bulldog]
Gorilla: Did you see that? Talk about desperation.
Bobby: You know what's at stake? A man'll do anything!
Gorilla: Pulling out all the stops, Ric Flair doing whatever necessary to hang in there.
Bobby: I'd do that to my own grandmother if I had to.
Gorilla: I'm sure you would.

[Roddy Piper saves Flair from a Jake Roberts DDT]
Bobby: I never thought I'd say this, but thank you, Roddy. It's a kilt. It's not a skirt, it's a kilt.
[Not long after, Piper attacks Flair]
Bobby: You no-good creep! You skirt-wearing freak! It's not a kilt, it's a skirt!

Bobby: [on Snuka] He's jogging. He's wasting time, he's wasting energy. He's not conserving his energy or his time.
Gorilla: He's not wasting time.
Bobby: I don't know what I'm saying anymore.
Gorilla: I know you don't.

Gorilla: Savage with a high knee...Jake is out of there!
[Savage leaps over the top rope to continue fighting Jake]
Bobby: Savage is out too! Savage is out, he went over the top! He made the mistake of a lifetime!
[Undertaker exits to pull Savage off]
Gorilla: Undertaker went underneath that bottom rope, but I think the Macho Man has eliminated himself. What a mistake!
Bobby: I think he did.
Gorilla: That's what happens when your heart takes over your mind.
Bobby: You can't let your loved ones control your pocketbook.
[Undertaker throws him back into the ring]
Gorilla: Well, Undertaker threw him back in, but I don't think that's gonna help him.
[Savage breaks free and chases down Jake]
Bobby: Oh, I know what it is, Monsoon! Since...Savage wasn't thrown over the top rope, so that means he can go back in. No one threw him over the rope; I believe that's one of the rules of the Royal Rumble.
Gorilla: I'll have to check that out, Brain; I'll take your word for it right now.
Bobby: [as the Undertaker once again tosses Savage back in] See, the referee's letting him go back in. Somebody has to throw him out.
Gorilla: He certainly is — you have to be propelled by someone else.

Bobby: [on Flair's low blow] He just tried to lift the Undertaker.
Gorilla: He did not.

Bobby: [on Virgil] Don't forget, at one time, he had that Million Dollar Championship belt.
Gorilla: He certainly did.
Bobby: Of course, he stole it, but he still had it.
Gorilla: He did not!

Bobby: Virgil just came out, right? #23, right?
Gorilla: Yes
Bobby: Just think, who knows how many bags he's gone through in the back!
Gorilla: Oh, will you stop?!

Bobby: I'm soaking wet, I need something to drink. Hey, you, stupid, get me something to drink!

Gorilla: He is right now the all-time record holder, in excess of 55 minutes. Congratulations are in order for Ric Flair.
Bobby: Give him the title, that's good enough for me!
Gorilla: No, I'm not giving him the title.

Gorilla: We've only got one entry left. No secret involved here; the guy who drew #30 is gonna be coming out in five seconds. It will be no surprise—it is the Warlord.
Bobby: But you never know.
[The buzzer sounds]
Gorilla: What do you mean, you never know?
Bobby: You never know what Tunney and the WWF'll pull on you!
Gorilla: It could only be one guy.
Bobby: [as the Warlord enters the arena] I told you—the Warlord. I was right. I knew it, I was right.

Gorilla: [as Hogan tries to kick Flair out of the ring] Justice just watching. Flair hooking that bottom rope... [Justice tosses Hogan out completely, allowing Flair to inch back in] And look at from behind, Justice got rid of Hulk!
Bobby: Uh-oh. I don't like the looks of things now. There are no friends...
Sid Justice: [to Hogan, who's complaining to the referees] It's every man for himself, big boy!
Bobby: There are no friends, only enemies!
Gorilla: Boy, is Hulk upset. Look, he's...he's saying, "you've stolen my belt!" [Hogan grabs Sid's arm, trying to pull him out] Look at this! Hulkster holding on, trying to pull him out. It's Flair from behind.
[Hogan keeps pulling as Flair pushes Sid over the top rope onto the floor, winning the Rumble and the WWF Championship]
Bobby: OH YES! YES! YES YES YES YES...
Gorilla: Flair did it!
Bobby: YES! YES! YES! YES! He did it! I told you, Monsoon! I told you, Monsoon! I told you, I told you! YES! YES! YES! [continues over Howard's announcement] YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! I told you!
Howard: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the Royal Rumble and undisputed World Wrestling Federation Champion: Ric Flair!
Gorilla: Flair did it, I don't believe it!
Bobby: He did it! He did it! I knew he'd do it! I knew he'd do it! All you humanoids know!
[Hogan chases Flair out of the ring, where Mr. Perfect meets him and raises his hand down the aisle]
Gorilla: What a man Ric Flair proved to be...
Bobby: I'm gonna meet him! I'm gonna meet him!
Gorilla: Where are you going? The Brain has just left the broadcast position to join the new World Wrestling Federation Champion, Ric Flair! [Hogan and Sid get into a shoving match as several officials get between them] And two would-be champions left inside that ring. Oh, a lot of hatred shown here as we've got all kinds of referees and WWF officials to step between these two behemoths. Look at Justice, look at the Hulkster. He said, "you robbed me of my title." These guys want at each other. Terry Garvin out there, Pat Patterson, Rene Goulet, Tony Garea—I don't know whether there's enough guys out there to keep these two apart. Lot of trouble in paradise here. As the Hulkster was about to, earlier on, get rid of Ric Flair, and Justice was just standing by watching, and then from the back, lift out the Hulkster. There are no friends in the Royal Rumble. And now there are enemies, that's for sure. Two guys who were odds-on favorites; of course, Ric Flair was a favorite as well, but drawing the number 3, well, just about said goodbye to his chances. [Sid exits the ring] But he proved everybody wrong. Everybody in the world now knows what Ric Flair can do, what kind of man he is.
Sid: Come on, shithead! Come on! I'll kill ya!

[Dubbed over commentary of the above moment when shown on TV weeks later.]
Gorilla: Take a look at Justice just hanging in the corner, biding his time here. [Sid eliminates Hogan from behind] From behind, look at this! I don't believe it! Snuck up like a thief from the night from behind and dumped the Hulkster out of there! Holy mackerel!
Bobby: Listen Monsoon, he's calling him big boy! He's rubbing it in too. I like Sid Justice! I like his style. Come on Ric!
Gorilla: Look at that, he said "Every man for himself!", but yes, be a man and face the guy! At least turn around and look in your face when you dump somebody out. [Hogan pulls Sid's arm and Ric Flair eliminates Sid winning the match and the title] Look at this! Ric Flair, dumping Sid out! I don't believe it!
Bobby: YES! YES! WOOOOOOOO!!
Gorilla: It is official! I can't believe for over one hour! Ric Flair is the new World Wrestling Federation Champion!
Bobby: YES! I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU! YES! YES! YES! HE DID IT!
Gorilla: What a display of guts by that guy!
Bobby: And what a great move by Sid Justice to outsmart that big dummy, Hulk Hogan! YES!
Gorilla: What a creep Sid Justice turned out to be!
Bobby: Hey, I gotta go Monsoon!
Gorilla: Where are you going?
Bobby: I'm going to me the WWF World Champion! You wrap it up!
Gorilla: The Brain out of here! And look at this once again, sneaking up from behind, Sid Justice! Give me a break here! Now it's even, face to face! This is the way it should've been from the beginning.

Ric Flair: Let me just say, after video-distorting the belt that proclaimed me the REAL world's champion, I'm gonna tell you all, with a tear in my eye, this is the greatest moment in my life. When you walk this world and you tell everybody you're #1, the only way you get to stay #1, is to be #1, and this is the only title in the wrestling world that makes you #1! When you are the king of the WWF, you rule the world! Think about it like that. Mr. Perfect, the Brain — WOO!!!
Bobby: Let's give a big one...
Bobby, Perfect, and Flair: WOOO!!!
Bobby: You did it! I was never so impressed with anything I've ever seen in all my life! He went out there for over sixty minutes, never took a bad step! Took it to Hogan, took it to the Undertaker, took it to whoever got in that ring! That's why he is — and you call him now — the real world's heavyweight champion!
Mr. Perfect: Bobby, we're not the kind of guys to say, "we told you so," but we...
Bobby and Perfect: Told you so!
Mean Gene: Very good. Ric Flair, you have made World — [off-camera] put that cigarette out! — you have made World Wrestling Federation history here tonight.
Ric Flair: It's the greatest moment of my life. I wanna jump, I wanna party, but I gotta tell you like this. For the Hulk Hogans, and the Macho Mans, and the Pipers, and the Sids: now it's Ric Flair, and you all pay homage to the man! WOOO!!! I love it!

1993[edit]

Gorilla: DiBiase, one half of the reigning WWF Tag Team Champions along with Irwin R. Schyster, and now he and Ric Flair are doubling up on the former champion Bob Backlund.
Bobby: Can you get arrested for beating up the elderly?
Gorilla: Will you stop?

Bobby: You know, Jerry "The King" Lawler is the host of Superstars.
Gorilla: I thought Vince McMahon was the host of Superstars.
Bobby: No, he goes and gets him coffee and stuff.
Gorilla: Will you be serious?

Gorilla: I think there was a little bit more sting on the reverse knife-edges of Tenryu.
Bobby: Well, where do you think they got the word "chop suey"?
Gorilla: Not from that!
Bobby: Are you talking to me?
Gorilla: Forget about it. It's so deafening in here, you can barely hear yourself.
Bobby: WHAT?

Bobby: Look, he's got him by his tongue!
Gorilla: That's his tie. If Irwin is stupid enough to wear a tie in there, then he deserves it.
Bobby: Boy, you're gonna get audited now.

Bobby: Last time I saw Tugboat... Typhoon... Buffoon, whatever he is, run that fast is when they opened up a lunch line at the free buffet.

Bobby: Oh, who's coming out now?
Gorilla: Well, why don't you just wait a minute and find out?!?
Bobby: I'm sorry, I'm excited! So what? [the buzzer sounds] Is that you blowing your nose or is that the horn?

Bobby: Now remember that, when a man sticks his hand out to shake hands with you, you shake it...and then kick him really hard when he's not looking.

Bobby: [on Backlund] How long's he been in there now?
Gorilla: 46 minutes and counting!
Bobby: HOW COME YOU KNOW THIS STUFF AND NOT ME?

Bobby: Fatu is bye-bye!
Gorilla: Who eliminated him, Brain? There's so much going on!
Bobby: I think he threw himself out, I don't know.
Gorilla: Threw himself out? NOBODY WOULD DO THAT!

Bobby: Backlund's been in there so long, when he entered the ring, his shoes were up to his knees!
Gorilla: WILL YOU STOP?

Bobby: There goes Backlund, there goes Backlund.
Gorilla: Tito Santana trying to get him outta there, and Backlund came down on the apron and scooted underneath the bottom rope.
Bobby: This guy's like a spider monkey! He just hooks onto things and you can't get him off!
Gorilla: And he got one hell of a reaction from this capacity crowd for that move.
Bobby: That was just totally out of respect. He's like a leech! I had an aunt once like that.
Gorilla: You resemble that remark.

Bobby: [as Earthquake and Yokozuna face-off] Look at this. Look at this. It's like the two Sears Towers meeting.
Gorilla: Earthquake says, "let's get it on!"
Bobby: And look at Yokozuna. "Come on, big boy. Try to make me shake!"
Gorilla: It is deafening here in the arena as we are live at the Royal Rumble!
Bobby: I see your lips moving, but I can't hear you!

Gorilla: Look at this. Carlos Colon got "The Rocket" Owen Hart perched up there.
Bobby: No, that's Martel!
Gorilla: That's Martel, I'm sorry!
Bobby: You should be! If you can't do it right, take a hike!
Gorilla: I'm outta here.
Bobby: Don't go yet, wait a minute, I've gotta ask you another question.

Bobby: Fuji's at ringside! He's waving the Japanese flag! Banzai, Macho Man!
Gorilla: Fuji with the flag from the Land of the Rising Sun.
Yokozuna: SAMOA!

Gorilla: Savage with the elbow. [Savage tries to pin Yokozuna] Pinfalls don't count! [Yokozuna pushes Savage off, over the top and to the floor, winning the Rumble] Oh, there you go!
Bobby: He threw him off from the floor!
Gorilla: Let's go and get the official word!
Howard Finkel: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the Royal Rumble: Yokozuna!
Gorilla: Yokozuna on his way to WrestleMania IX! Caesar and Cleopatra, they will be leading the way for Yokozuna to Caesar's Palace for the big one. April 4, WrestleMania IX, Caesar's Palace.
Bobby: This man is going to become a national hero.
Gorilla: Who is going to defeat this unbelievable individual?

1994[edit]

[After the WWF Tag Team Championship match, Owen is arguing with an injured Bret Hart]

Ted DiBiase: Well it's... It's obvious to me that Owen Hart is blaming...
Vince: [Owen kicks Bret in the injured leg, knocking the elder Hart down] Oh no!
DiBiase: HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! That's the smartest thing that Owen Hart has done all night, McMahon. As a matter of fact, that's the smartest thing that Owen Hart has ever done. I think you've just seen a major change in that man's career. He is finally waking up to the fact that he's not going to stand in the shadow of big brother anymore, because big brother wants to hog the limelight.
Vince: [A chorus of boos rain down on Owen as he leaves the ring] Can you imagine what the Hart family must be thinking back in Calgary right now? They thought we were going to see Owen and Bret, as brothers, win the Tag Team championships! Instead, they see that man right there!
Owen Hart: All he had to do was tag me, but he was too selfish to worry about me! He just worries about himself! He's gotta be a hero and fight the whole match by himself! All he had to do was tag me. I know he had a bad leg! Why didn't he just tag me?! Just tag me, Bret, but you're too damn selfish.
Vince: I can't believe those remarks!
DiBiase: I can! He hit the nail right on the head. That's exactly what I said, McMahon. That's exactly what I said, and Owen Hart has just waken up. From now on, you're gonna see a whole new attitude from that young man, and I see him going to the top.

Todd Pettengill: Vince, I gotta tell you I cannot believe what I just saw. Owen, please tell me why, why this despicable act...
Owen: Why what? Why what?!
Todd: I don't understand...
Owen: You wanna know why?! Bret Hart, you're nothing but a selfish person! I went in there in a tag team match for the biggest match of my life! It was a dream come true. I thought I had the best partner in the world—my own brother. But you're too selfish, like I've said all along. Your ego is too big. You only worry about yourself, Bret. You don't care about me.
Todd: Unbelievable, in front of your entire family...
Owen: I don't care about anybody. I was concerned about myself and my whole family, the biggest opportunity of my life. I had a chance, Bret, and you stripped it away from me, you took it away from me, Bret, because you're too selfish. All you had to do was just tag me. My hand was there. Just tag me. I knew your leg was bad, I was aware of that, just tag me. But you're too selfish! You just want to put your Sharpshooter on. I could've won the match; I don't need you with a bad leg doing it, Bret. You're too damn selfish! And that's why you're sitting there with a bad leg, and that's why I kicked your leg outta your leg.
Todd: Owen, let me ask you something. You obviously cost Bret a shot at the Championship, there's no way he's gonna be able to compete in the Royal Rumble match coming up tonight. Don't you think that was selfish on your part?
Owen: There's no selfishness in me, there's not a selfish bone in my body. He cost himself the WWF Tag Team belts, and he cost me, his little brother, a guy that's never had the taste of a WWF belt before! He's done it before, he doesn't care about me, he just worries about himself. I don't care about you in the Royal Rumble, Bret, because this is my opportunity. I'm in it too. I'm not worried about you getting cost the WWF Belt. I'm worried about myself, and I'm gonna get that belt, because I didn't get a chance to win the Tag Belts because of you. But I can count on myself, and I'll take the WWF Belt. I'll win that Royal Rumble.

Undertaker: Be not proud. The spirit of the Undertaker lives within the soul of all mankind. The eternal flame of life that cannot be extinguished, the origin of which cannot be explained, the answer lies in the everlasting spirit. Soon all mankind will witness the rebirth of the Undertaker. I will not rest in peace.

DiBiase : You gotta remember one thing, McMahon. When it's all over, [the buzzer sounds] done and said, when the smoke clears and the dust settles, they don't care how...
Vince: Here comes Bart. Here comes Bart Gunn!
DiBiase: ...they just wanna know who. When it's all over, who won. Not how they win, who won.

Vince: [regarding Diesel as he walks to the ring] Look at this monster.
DiBiase: That's one big man, McMahon. Almost as big as me.
Vince: Yeah, right.
DiBiase: Hey, if I'm standing on my wallet.

Vince: [as Virgil, an alternate entry, attacks Diesel] What a story this would be if Virgil could dump the big man out.
DiBiase: Well, the key word there, McMahon, is "alternate." [As he says this, Diesel eliminates Virgil] Virgil made his mistake long ago when he left me. See what I mean?
Vince: Who is gonna stop this huge monster in the ring?
DiBiase: Next!

[After entry #25 fails to enter]
Vince: That must have been Bret. That must be Bret Hart. That's unfortunate.
DiBiase: [laughs] A matter of opinion.
Vince: Nine men currently in the Rumble, and unfortunately it would've been ten with Bret Hart, I suppose. Bret Hart wanted to be in the Rumble; it was a dream of his to be in the Royal Rumble, to win this one, and then go on to perhaps once again be the WWF Champion. It has been a bad night for Bret Hart, one that I'm sure he will never ever forget, and a bad night for the whole Hart family.
DiBiase: Not Owen! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

Vince: [as the buzzer sounds] The ring is really filling up with humanity now. Who is it? Who is it? [Entry #27 is, limping to the ring...] It's Bret Hart! It's Bret Hart!
DiBiase: I can't believe it! I just can't believe it! I'll tell you what. I'll tell you, McMahon, that's sure...he's sure showing a lot of guts!
Vince: Look at that determination! Look at that determination!
DiBiase: Yeah, look how stupid he is for risking this after he'd been hurt so bad! There's a lot of guts, but no brains at all!
Vince: I don't know what Bret can do in the ring, in the Royal Rumble, if he can do anything. But I'll tell you, if he doesn't do anything, I'll give that man credit for returning. What gumption, what guts on the part of Bret Hart.
DiBiase: I don't know what you're seeing, McMahon. I give him credit for being stupid. He's out there risking what could be his career with a severe injury, just to prove to all these people that he's got guts.

DiBiase: Wait a minute, McMahon, who won this thing? I don't think they can make up their minds. First Luger's music plays, then Hart's music...they stopped it again.
Vince: Well the announcer has yet to announce exactly who won the Royal Rumble.
DiBiase: Look, the referees are arguing, they can't make up their mind. I don't think they know.

Vince: Jack Tunney discussing things with the officials. No one has left this building. We are awaiting the announcement.
DiBiase: Well, when Tunney sticks his nose in it, you never know what's gonna happen.
Vince: Well, Tunney has to make a decision here, and this must be the toughest decision he'll ever make. Here we go, we're gonna find out.
DiBiase: I'm telling you, Luger won it.
Howard: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 1994 WWF Royal Rumble... [Howard stops and goes to Tunney]
Vince: Wait a minute...
DiBiase: They can't figure it out!
Vince: Give me a break. Who won this thing? I thought for sure it was Luger, but I'm not sure after those replays, we saw a number of angles.
DiBiase: I think he oughta ring the bell and just let them beat each other to the ground.
...
Howard: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 1994 WWF Royal Rumble...the winners are Lex Luger and Bret "Hitman" Hart!

1995[edit]

Howard: Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please! Due to the inability of the official...
Vince: Put that chair down!
Howard: (con't)... to maintain control of this contest, he has declared this match a draw!

Vince: Can you believe this? The Heartbreak Kid drew #1! Well, you can bet Shawn Michaels won't be going to WrestleMania as the #1 contender. Michaels fooled everybody on the Action Zone earlier on—Michaels acted like he was proud of his number. It's the luck of the draw, and Shawn Michaels very unlucky here tonight at the Royal Rumble, and Michaels better get all the glory he can right now.
Jerry "The King" Lawler: Let me just tell you this, McMahon. He loves being the #1 draw because of what he's doing right now. It means just all that much longer he gets to strut his stuff in front of Pamela Anderson. But don't get your hopes up, Shawn. She might accompany him to WrestleMania, but she'll be accompanying me tonight.

Jerry: [on entry #5, Jimmy Del Ray] I like this guy. I like him.
Vince: You like him?
Jerry: Yes.
Vince: Well, is he gonna win the Rumble?
Jerry: I don't like him that much.
Vince: Who do... you don't like him that much.
Jerry: I told you I've already gone on record, I started... I did wanna change my prediction. I went on record as predicting Shawn Michaels, but when I saw he drew #1, I thought about changing it.
Vince: To whom? Who would you choose?
Jerry: I'll tell you later.

Jerry: [on #7, Tom Prichard] I love this guy.
Vince: You like him?
Jerry: Yes.
Vince: Is he gonna win the Royal Rumble?
Jerry: I don't like him that much either.

Jerry: Is Dink in there?
Vince: Of course not. You would see him, wouldn't you?
Jerry: No, you can't see him. He'd get swallowed up in a shag carpet.

Jerry: Look at Luke the Bushwhacker—he's heading back already, but he stayed longer than he was in in 1991. He only lasted 4.9 seconds then.
Vince: What, have you got a stopwatch on?
Jerry: Yeah, look at this. See Mickey's hand?

Jerry: Oh no. It's Mo.
Vince: It's Mo from Men on a Mission. [Mo enters the ring, charges King Kong Bundy, and gets backdropped over the top to the floor]
Jerry: WHOO HOO HOO! WHOO HOO HOO! Look at my watch! Mo was on a mission, wasn't he? He just broke Luke's record! Ha ha ha ha! What did he last? One second?

Vince: [after the British Bulldog clotheslines Michaels over the top rope, seemingly winning the Rumble] It finally has happened! The British Bulldog will go to WrestleMania and face the WWF... [As Bulldog celebrates in the corner, Michaels nails him from behind, sending him over and onto the floor.] Wait just a minute!
Jerry: My prediction is true! They're saying that Shawn Michaels has won the Royal Rumble!
Vince: Michaels was eliminated by the British Bulldog! Let's go to the announcer to clear it up.
Howard: Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has informed me that only one of Shawn Michaels' feet hit the floor.
Vince: What?
Howard: [cont'd] Therefore, the winner of the 1995 WWF Royal Rumble: The Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels!

1996[edit]

Mr. Perfect: [after Goldust reverses a waistlock on Razor Ramon and caresses him, who is instantly freaked out] I can't believe what I just saw.
Vince: That was a little different.
Mr. Perfect: Maybe Goldust got what he wanted out of this match already.
Vince: Oh no, I think this man is cagey, very crafty
Mr. Perfect: Ten-yard penalty for illegal use of the hands.
...
Mr. Perfect: Is he gonna check him for a hernia next?

[Henry Godwinn has emptied a bucket of slop on everyone outside the ring]
Vince: Hunter Hearst-Helmsley covered in slop, Backlund covered in slop, here comes the King, he got some of it too.
Mr. Perfect: There's no place for that stinking slop! I think I'm at a Gallagher concert!

Vince: Will it be Yokozuna? Will it be the man they call Vader?
Mr. Perfect: I gotta stick with Vader.
Vince: And Savio Vega could very well win this thing.
Mr. Perfect: I learned a lot time ago, McMahon, you never make a redhead mad.

Mr. Perfect: [on Aldo Montoya] He's got his jock on the wrong part of his body.

Mr. Perfect: He's the winner right there, McMahon. I pick him.
Vince: And there's a good look, ladies and gentlemen, at Steve Austin, known as the Ringmaster, on his way. Another Corporate member of Ted DiBiase's Million Dollar Corporation, and you can bet he's definitely gonna make a difference.
Mr. Perfect: Look at this guy, McMahon. The Ringmaster—close enough to perfect for me. He gets my vote right now. Look at the shape this guy's in, look at how aggressive he is, look at how good he looks, reminds me of me so much.
Vince: He is cold and calculating for sure.

Mr. Perfect: It's a bird, it's a plane, no, it's Barry Horriblewitz.
Vince: Call him what you will. Barry Horowitz could very well win this thing—anyone can win.
Mr. Perfect: If a nerd ends up at WrestleMania and gets the World Wrestling Federation Champion, I'm getting back in the ring.

Vince: Almost anyone would do anything to win this year's Royal Rumble matchup.
Mr. Perfect: If Horowitz wins this match, I quit. You'll never see me again.

Mr. Perfect: [as Diesel clotheslines Kama out of the ring] It's gonna be Diesel, no doubt about it.
Vince: Kama eliminated! It's Diesel, it's Michaels...
[Shawn superkicks Diesel out of the ring, winning the Rumble]
Mr. Perfect: NO! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! TWO YEARS IN A ROW! That's impossible, McMahon! Impossible!
Howard: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 1996 World Wrestling Federation Royal Rumble: "The Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels!
Vince: [over announcement] Shawn Michaels is going to WrestleMania!
Mr. Perfect: How does he do that?!

Howard: Ladies and gentlemen, Bret "Hitman" Hart has been disqualified...
Vince: Aw, come on.
Howard: [cont'd] ...as a result of outside interference by Diesel. Therefore, the winner of this match: the Undertaker!
Vince: Diesel coming in, blatantly interfering; the Undertaker wants the WWF Championship around his waist. [On Diesel] Look at that steely cold look on the face.
Howard: However, the World Wrestling Federation Championship can not change hands on a disqualification.
Mr. Perfect: Oh, boy.
Vince: [as Diesel cracks a little smile] And no one knows that better than that man right there.
Mr. Perfect: Yes, that look says it all.
Vince: It does, the Undertaker... [Diesel gives the Undertaker the finger] Wait, look what Diesel just did!
Mr. Perfect: Oh, come on!

Vince: The Undertaker had piledrived Bret Hart!
Mr. Perfect: He had him beat!
Vince: But you'll never know whether or not Bret would've been pinned by the Undertaker.
Mr. Perfect: Of course he'd have been pinned!

1997[edit]

Goldust: [to HHH] Come on, you piece of shit!

Jerry: I've been sitting here counting, I'm up to about 54. Why doesn't the referee count Goldust out?
Jim Ross: Why don't you ask these questions to Monsoon? He's in charge of the officials. We can't answer those questions, King.
Vince: Maybe it's because you would want to be assigned as a guest referee on occasion.
Jim Ross: That'd be a good idea.
Jerry: Yeah, you're right. I'd have already disqualified Goldust.
Jim Ross: You'd be the Red Cashion of the WWF
Jerry: What? Who?

Vince: Both feet- [Ahmed Johnson leaves ring to attack Faarooq] wait a minute, wait a minute, Ahmed just eliminated himself!

Jim Ross: [Austin eliminates Bart Gunn] The first time Bart held on, the second time he couldn't. And once again, Stone Cold Steve Austin is picking 'em off one at a time.
Vince: [as Austin, all by himself, does push-ups in the ring] Look at this. Please.
Jim Ross: And he's telling us all he's in great shape. He's in fightin' shape.
Vince: He's in great condition, all right.
Jim Ross: I'm sure he's been in a few barroom brawls.
Vince: [Austin now sits on the top corner] Look at this, patiently awaiting the next individual to come out. You talk about a man with a nasty temperament. [Austin looks at his wrist like a watch] Well, his watch is working as well as ours.

Vince: Oh, no, it's Bret Hart's "stinking rotten" brother, as Bret would say...
Jerry: What?!
Vince: ...Owen Hart.
Jim Ross: You mean the whiner? He whines about everything.
Jerry: Listen to you guys, he's a Slammy Award winner!

Vince: [as Bulldog attempts to throw out Austin] Austin's going for the ride!
Jerry: Yes!
[As this happens, Owen throws Bulldog out, Austin avoiding the floor]
Vince: Hey, wait a minute.
Jim Ross: I think that was Owen eliminated Bulldog.
Vince: [as Owen and Bulldog argue] Owen Hart trying to... the Bulldog is angry.
Jim Ross: Bulldog just called Owen an idiot!
Vince: They're tag team partners, they're Tag Team Champions!
Jim Ross: They're brother-in-laws!
Bulldog: He flipped me out!
Jerry: So what, you whiner. It's every man for himself.
Vince: I understand that, although Owen was professing that it was an accident. He was...
Jerry: Probably was.
Vince: ...attempting to get Stone Cold Steve Austin out.
Jim Ross: Owen hasn't told the truth since the King was a prince.
Jerry: Oh listen to you now.

Jerry: [on "Double J" Jesse James] The guy's a promising young singer, I wish he'd promise to stop singing.

Vince: Stone Cold Steve Austin, and you gotta get credit where it's due. You may not like Stone Cold, you may not like his attitude, but Austin is a competitor.
Jim Ross: While these 60,000+ fans I'm assuming appreciate Austin's intensity, they certainly do not appreciate his attitude.
Vince: Who will be next? Who will face Stone Cold Steve Austin in less than ten seconds?
Jerry: The quicker he can eliminate them, the more time he has to rest. [Time expires, Austin is shocked to hear Bret "Hitman" Hart's music.] Uh-oh.
Vince: YES! YES! YES!

Jerry: Watch this. [Time expires, and Jerry Lawler's music plays. He is #22] Oh, yeah! Hey, McMahon, watch this, baby!
Vince: I can't believe it! You are in it!
Jerry: [removing his jacket and headset] I said it once, and I'll say it again—it takes a king!
Vince: Jerry "The King" Lawler sneaking up behind the Hitman Bret Hart!
[Bret turns his attention from Austin to Jerry. Punches him twice, the second one sending Jerry flying over and onto the floor]
Jim Ross: I think we just saw a record broken! I think Lawler has just broken the record!
Vince: I think you just said it takes a king...
Jerry: [putting headset back on] To know a king, McMahon! I told you!
Jim Ross: Told us what?
Jerry: It takes a king to know a king!

Jim Ross: Bret Hart thought this morning, when I talked to him on Superstars, that he shouldn't even have to be in this matchup, that he should've come into the Royal Rumble as the WWF Champion.
Jerry: He shouldn't have even been in this matchup!
Jim Ross: That's what I just said.
Jerry: Not because he should be the champion, it's because he shouldn't even be in the WWF! He's a jerk!

Jerry: The Hitman is concentrating on Stone Cold. If it comes down to the Hitman and Stone Cold, I say it'll be the Hitman; if it comes down to Terry Funk and Vader, Vader.
Vince: Stone Cold Steve Austin has been in the ring for over forty minutes.
Jerry: If it comes down to Undertaker and anybody, Undertaker.
Jim Ross: I'll tell you, I cannot imagine the fatigue, the exhaustion that must be riveting the body of Stone Cold Steve Austin after forty minutes of hell with these guys.
Jerry: I'm not even tired.
Jim Ross: You must have amnesia.

Vince: Mankind and Funk on the far side, they're just mauling each other.
Jerry: That's a shame. I think they're doing it 'cause they like it. I'd just like to see Mankind and Terry Funk as a team.

Jerry: Good-bye Austin! [Bret has thrown Austin out]
Vince: Austin's been eliminated!
Jim Ross: Austin... wait a minute...
Vince: He was in there for 34 minutes!
Jim Ross: [as Austin sneaks back into the ring] Well the referees didn't see it.
Vince: Austin has been eliminated. [Austin tosses out the Undertaker and Vader] Wait a minute, the Undertaker and Vader have both just been eliminated! [Bret throws out "Diesel"] Diesel's been eliminated as well! And now it's over! [From behind, Austin throws out Bret] Oh, no! NO! [The bell sounds]
Jim Ross: Wait a minute here.
Howard: Here is the winner of the 1997 Royal Rumble: Stone Cold Steve Austin!
Jerry: He eliminated the Hitman! I didn't actually see Austin's feet hit the floor!
Jim Ross: [As Austin leaves, Bret enters the rings berating the referees] Austin eliminated the Undertaker and Vader and Bret Hart, but Austin went out! Bret Hart eliminated Stone Cold and the referees didn't see it, and Bret Hart is not gonna stand for it!
Jerry: Maybe his feet didn't hit the floor, Ross.
Jim Ross: I saw it! I was sitting right here, King! I didn't even see the monitors!
Vince: Imagine Bret Hart...imagine what's going on in his mind. Stone Cold was eliminated—we saw it, we called it—the officials were over there with Mankind and Terry Funk and didn't see it.
Jim Ross: Bret Hart's obsession with winning the WWF Title is so evident! Bret cannot believe it! Bret Hart eliminated Stone Cold, and neither referee saw it!

Vince: You want to talk championships, you gotta be talking about the World Wrestling Federation championship, in a match that Bret Hart wishes that he was in and apparently it looks like it just won't happen. And you can hear everyone booing. A very unpopular decision, the way that Stone Cold Steve Austin "won" the Royal Rumble.
Jim Ross: Well quite frankly, it was a...I don't wanna say it was a bad call. Both officials were on one side of the ring. That's bad officiating, folks! That's why we have two officials. The referees were out of position. Bret Hart's got a very legitimate gripe.
Jerry: Please stop whining! It's the referee's decision! The decision's been made and it's final. How many times have you watched a baseball game or a football game, and the replay shows something different from what the referee saw? It's over!

1998[edit]

Road Dogg Jesse James: Just like your precious 49ers, your precious LOD is about to become a part of history as well. Steve Young will play a major role in the Super Bowl this year—he'll be the one telling his fat wife to fetch him another brewski.

Jerry: Look at the idiots that are in this ring right now: Chainsaw, Mosh, Cactus Jack. I feel like calling Unsolved Mysteries and saying, "hey, I found everybody."

Jim Ross: He's 6'7", 300+ pounds, he's about a biscuit away from 315. It's Phineas Godwinn — living proof of what happens when first cousins marry.
Jerry: I'm gonna tell you something — we're fixin' to have five WWF Superstars in the ring and only one brain between them, and that's in the head of the Rock.

Jim Ross: Ahmed Johnson, I guess he's the only man to compete in the Royal Rumble wearing earrings.
Jerry: What a fashion statement. If he was a little smarter, he'd know how stupid that looks.

Jim Ross: Remember what's at stake: the opportunity to wrestle the WWF Champion at the biggest event in the industry, the biggest event of all time, WrestleMania XIV in Boston.
Jerry: [laughing] Right, and that rug has been yanked right out from under Stone Cold Steve Austin!
Jim Ross: If...that's the truth, that's gonna be a heartbreaker for the ol' rattlesnake.
Jerry: Brought it on himself. [Buzzer sounds, signaling entrant #24. Austin's music blares] What?!
Jim Ross: [as all wrestlers stop fighting and look toward the entrance] Stone Cold...that's Austin's music. The action has stopped, everyone is awaiting the arrival of Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Jerry: Look out, he's from behind! [Austin comes in the ring from behind, attacks Marc Mero and eliminates him]
Jim Ross: Austin came from the crowd! There goes Mero! Stone Cold is like a man possessed!

Jim Ross: We're getting right down to the nitty gritty. Who's #28? The luck of the draw has everything to do with his. [Buzzer sounds, signaling entrant #28: Dude Love] What?!
Jerry: Oh no!
Jim Ross: I don't believe it!
Jerry: I don't wanna believe it!
Jim Ross: Mrs. Foley's baby boy is pulling a triple-header!
Jerry: Somebody knock his head off!

Jim Ross: [as Austin stuns the Rock] Stone Cold Stunner! And the Rock... [Austin tosses the Rock out, winning the Rumble] ...IS GONE! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD IS GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!!!
Howard: Here is the winner of the 1998 Royal Rumble: Stone Cold Steve Austin!
Jim Ross: Iron Mike Tyson on his feet cheering for Austin 3:16! Stone Cold will meet the WWF Champion at WrestleMania XIV!

[Kane and Paul Bearer have set the casket with the Undertaker inside on fire.]
Jim Ross: MY GOD!! THE CASKET'S ON FIRE!! THE CASKET'S ON FIRE!!! THAT CASKET IS ON FIRE!! THE UNDERTAKER IS IN THAT CASKET!!!

1999[edit]

The Rock: Now you tell the Rock, after the most electrifying in sports entertainment today, that you quit!
Mankind: Go to Hell, Rock
...
The Rock: Say "I quit"!
Mankind: You'll have to kill me.

Michael Cole: Only one other man in the history of the Royal Rumble has gone from #1 to win it all—Stone Cold is gonna try to become #2. There is only one Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Jerry: Well that's true, but let me just tell you this. You like to talk about history, I venture to say there is only one WWF Superstar that is gonna be in this very ring tonight that has never ever lost a match in his life.
Michael Cole: And who is that?
Jerry: That is Mr. McMahon.
Michael Cole: Oh, please, he's never had one.
Jerry: He's never lost a match in his life! Shut up!

Michael Cole: [on entrant #6: Gillberg] It's the man called Gillberg.
Jerry: He could win this whole thing.
Michael Cole: King, you're not serious.
Jerry: Well, maybe not.
Michael Cole: Gillberg is 0-2. Who will be #1? Who will be his first victim? He's spending more time posing in the walkway than he is getting in the ring.
Jerry: He's got a chance.
Michael Cole: [as Gillberg screams out at the crowd] Well, Gillberg now in the Royal Rumble match. And Edge...
[Edge, with very little effort, pushes Gillberg out]
Jerry: Ah, Gillberg!
Michael Cole: Oh, please. Gillberg is in and out. So I guess we can say that Gillberg is 0-3 now.

Michael Cole: Droz and Edge have been in the ring a long time. The longer you're in the ring, the easier it is to toss you out; and the object is to go over the top rope and both feet hit the floor, and Tiger's in danger of having a quick exit.
Jerry: Wait a minute, the longer you're in the ring, the easier it is to toss you out.
Michael Cole: Yeah, the more tired you get.
Jerry: What about the man called Gillberg?

Michael Cole: First off, you picked Steve Blackman to win the Rumble match, he's been eliminated; you also picked Gangrel to win the Rumble match, you still have a chance to make a little money.
Jerry: Well, I know I picked Blackman. That damn Psychic Network lied to me.
Michael Cole: Did they give you the tip on Gangrel as well? And here's Gangrel...
Jerry: I'll never listen to Dionne Warwick again. She's an idiot.
Michael Cole: ...who almost won the European Championship match in a great match against X-Pac earlier tonight.
Jerry: I'm calling LaToya Jackson.
Michael Cole: Gangrel on the ropes now. Road Dogg... [Road Dogg launches Gangrel out of the ring] ...sends Gangrel for the ride. Road Dogg is cleaning house! Hey, King. Hey, King. You're 0-2.

[The Rock is calling out Stone Cold Steve Austin]
Jerry: Get him, Rock! Get him! [The Rock climbs up to the apron and the two fight] Here he goes. I knew it!
Michael Cole: Here we go now! They're getting it on! [Seeing this, Mr. McMahon, with the help of the Rock...] Wait a minute!
Jerry: Look at this!
Michael Cole: [...throws Austin out, winning the Rumble] Wait a minute! NO! NO! Mr. McMahon has won the Royal Rumble!
Howard: [Over Cole speaking] The winner of the 1999 Royal Rumble: Mr. McMahon!
Jerry: I KNEW IT! HAHAHAHAHA!
Michael Cole: Mr. McMahon has eliminated the Rattlesnake thanks to the Rock! Mr. McMahon will face the Rock at WrestleMania, and Austin is livid!
Jerry: [Austin and the Rock fight all the way to the backstage area] Look at this!
Michael Cole: And Austin taking out his frustrations on the champion! Austin is beating the hell out of the champion!
Jerry: But right now, Michael Cole, it doesn't matter! This is, without a doubt, the greatest night in the history of the World Wrestling Federation!
Michael Cole: Mr. McMahon has won the Royal Rumble match! I never thought I'd ever hear myself say that! Somebody slap me in the face!
Jerry: Here!
Michael Cole: Is this a dream?

Shane: Vince, you just won the Royal Rumble! YOU'RE GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!!!

Michael Cole: King, he didn't do it by himself; he had plenty of help. He sat here at ringside for most of the damn match!
Jerry: I don't care how he did it. He won the Royal Rumble!

2000[edit]

Jim Ross: [as Triple H and Cactus Jack brawl in the audience during their Street Fight] Cactus Jack and Triple H are in a sea of humanity here!
Jerry: Humanity? But this is New York City, J.R.!

Jerry: [as Viscera enters the Rumble, facing Rikishi] This is the old unstoppable meeting the immovable, and they're both unliftable.

Jerry: Have you seen Albert's tongue? It's pierced, have you seen that?
Jim Ross: I have not looked at his tongue or any other parts of his anatomy that closely, quite frankly.
Jerry: He told me that piercing didn't hurt, but then he showed me one that did.

Jerry: Can we see that poor Chinese guy Taka Michinoku get thrown over the top rope again?
Jim Ross: He's Japanese!

Jim Ross: Funaki's eliminated for about the eighth time tonight.
Jerry: At least he had a good view there for a second.
Jim Ross: Funaki's been eliminated more times than any other Royal Rumble competitor.

Jim Ross: Taka had to be taken to a hospital.
Jerry: Do they have some good Chinese hospitals in New York?
Jim Ross: Will you stop that?

Jim Ross: My god, what a chokeslam! The Big Show trying to break the Rock into pieces with a chokeslam!
Jerry: He told this crowd, he's telling the world, "You WILL cheer for me!" He said he has the Rock and he's going to win the Royal Rumble and the people will have to cheer him.
Jim Ross: Nobody can go one-on-one, face-to-face, man-to-man, with the Big Show and survive. [Big Show picks Rock up as the crowd chants "Rocky"] The Rock just seconds away from being eliminated here! It's over now, King!
Jerry: Oh... good-bye Rock. I told you I was picking the Big Show.
Jim Ross: The Big Show is toying with the Rock.
Jerry: He's picking his... picking his sides. [Big Show attempts to throw Rock out] There he goes!
Jim Ross: [Suddenly the Rock grasps the top rope. The momentum carries the Big Show out. The Rock holds on to the top rope, winning the Rumble] OH THE BIG SHOW'S OVER!
Jerry: WHAT?
Jim Ross: THE ROCK! THE ROCK HAS WON THE RUMBLE!
Jerry: WHAT? How did THAT happen? How did the Rock do it?
Howard Finkel: Here is your winner: the Rock!
Jim Ross: How in God's name did THAT happen? It looked like the Big Show is gonna eliminate the Rock!
Jerry: I knew that the Rock would win! He's done it!
Jim Ross: The Rock guaranteed a victory at the Royal Rumble!
Jerry: He guaran-damn-teed it!
Jim Ross: And the Rock has kept his word! He has done what he said he was gonna do!

2001[edit]

Jim Ross: [on entry #5] I can't believe he actually did it. Drew Carey is actually coming out here.
Jerry: Drew, don't do it, this is suicide!
Jim Ross: One of the biggest stars in all of Hollywood, a man with a couple of weekly television shows, a guy that's gonna have his own pay-per-view on Saturday night.
Jerry: I'll tell you what. If Drew lives through this, he deserves to have everybody watch his pay-per-view on Saturday night
Jim Ross: If I was Drew, I'd just hang around and sign some autographs.
Jerry: Yeah, pretty good idea; Drew, don't hurry, don't rush anything.
Jim Ross: Listen to the crowd chanting for Drew Carey. You never know what's gonna happen in the WWF, and by golly, [Jeff Hardy clotheslines Matt Hardy over the top onto the apron] you never know what's gonna happen in the Royal Rumble, as Matt Hardy almost got eliminated there.
Jerry: Come on, ref, get Drew in the ring so I can see how he can handle himself against the Hardys.
Jim Ross: [chuckling] You're sadistic.
Jerry: [as Drew enters the ring] I'd like to see Drew do...try a hurricanrana, Drew! Uh-oh, he's in the ring.
Jim Ross: Drew Carey in the ring now.
Jerry: Dropkick, Drew!
Jim Ross: Drew Carey encouraged in this by Mr. McMahon, and I think...
Jerry: Wait, take your glasses off, you're not a Dudley!
Jim Ross: I still think Mr. McMahon, the ol' head of jealousy...[noticing the Hardys fighting in the outside corner] oh my God, look at the Hardys. They just get higher and higher, and the risk factor...[The Hardys fall to the floor] Matt Hardy eliminated his brother, and Jeff pulled on his shirt that was around his waist...
Jerry: [on Drew looking over the ropes] Wait, Drew's done it! Do you realize if this was over, Drew would be going to WrestleMania?!
Jim Ross: Oh God, I shudder to think that.

Jerry: Kane is about to become famous. He's gonna be on the news, he's gonna be on the front page of the New York Post!
Jim Ross: Drew Carey's asking for assistance. I hope he's got good insurance with the Screen Actors Guild.
Jerry: I can see it now. Access Hollywood, Entertainment Tonight, the E! Network. Look at Drew, he's calling for the Hardys to come back.
Jim Ross: Drew Carey has been left all alone at the Royal Rumble. He's all by himself, and the Big Red Machine is a carnivore!
Jerry: Yeah, I don't think Drew really understands what he's gotten into here tonight.
Jim Ross: The Big Red Machine's a carnivore, and Drew Carey's a big ol' pork chop. Drew's starting to sweat Crisco.
Jerry: Hey, Drew? What do you think his blood type is? Ragu?

Jim Ross: [after Bradshaw attacks Val Venis, saving the Rock from elimination] Bradshaw should've helped Val, in my estimation.
Jerry: Nah, nobody wants to help Val or any member of the Right to Censor.
Jim Ross: Yeah, you make a good point.

Jim Ross: How much left can these two men have in their bodies? Austin's got the steel chair!
Jerry: Look at Kane! He's a monster! He's already up!
Jim Ross: My God, Kane is up! Oh God, Kane is up!
Jerry: Austin, you're not a monster!
Jim Ross: [Austin strikes Kane in the head with the steel chair] What a shot!
Jerry: ACK! He didn't even knock him off his feet.
Jim Ross: [Austin strikes Kane again] GOD ALMIGHTY!
Jerry: WHOA!
Jim Ross: [Austin strikes Kane again] A shot to the skull! Austin's going to dump him!
[Austin bounces off the ropes and clotheslines Kane out, winning the Rumble]
Jerry: NO! OH!
Jim Ross: KANE IS OUT! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!
Howard: Here is your winner: Stone Cold Steve Austin!
Jerry: [over announcement] I knew he could do it!
Jim Ross: STONE COLD IS GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!
Jerry: I knew the Rattlesnake could win this thing! Unbelievable!
Jim Ross: THE BATTERED AND BLOODY RATTLESNAKE HAS FOUGHT HIS WAY BACK - HAS FOUGHT HIS WAY THROUGH HELL ITSELF TO GO TO WRESTLEMANIA!

2002[edit]

Jim Ross: Fans chanting, "we want Head," at Al Snow. Al Snow and his former mannequin head.
Jerry: I'll get in on that chant, but not at Al Snow.
Jim Ross: Would you behave?

Jim Ross: [The Undertaker stands alone in the ring, having thrown out four men] You don't need RE/MAX or Century 21 to tell you whose yard this belongs to, and I don't think it's for sale.
Jerry: You know what, JR? There's only one thing I wouldn't wanna be.
Jim Ross: What's that, King?
Jerry: Next.

Jerry: Matt Hardy could certainly use some help out here, couldn't he?
Jim Ross: Yeah, he ain't likely to get it. It's every man for himself. [Time expires. Entry #10 is Jeff Hardy] But maybe so, King!
Jerry: What?!
Jim Ross: Here comes Jeff Hardy!
Jerry: Now wait a minute.
Jim Ross: Undertaker about to suplex Matt to the outside, Jeff Hardy blocked that, and now both the Hardys...
Jerry: I got a question—who picked these numbers?
Jim Ross: They were drawn randomly. The numbers are drawn randomly [Lita jumps into the ring and joins the Undertaker beatdown] The Hardys and Lita getting some retribution for their near-career-ending injuries!
Jerry: [as Lita is pulled out] They let her out there and she doesn't have a number?
Jim Ross: [off the Hardys embrace] Look at the reunion of the Hardys! They're back on the same page! Lita's on the same page!
Jerry: No, Lita's off the page!

Jim Ross: And Maven! [He kicks the Undertaker, who is being distracted by the Hardy Boys who he has just eliminated, in the back. The momentum carries the Undertaker over the top rope and eliminates him] OH MY GOD! MY GOD! MAVEN FROM TOUGH ENOUGH JUST ELIMINATED THE UNDERTAKER!!!
Jerry: WHAT?! WHAT?!
Jim Ross: MY GOD, MY GOD, I DON'T BELIEVE IT! Now that is... that is the biggest shocker I've ever seen at the Royal Rumble!
Jerry: WHAT?!
Jim Ross: You heard me right!
Jerry: Let me do it again. WHAT?!
Jim Ross: Maven just eliminated the Undertaker, and Maven cannot believe it!

Jim Ross: [after an eliminated Austin nails Kurt Angle, Mr. Perfect, and Triple H with a chair] Austin may have been eliminated, King, but he's made his mark indelibly on the head of his three adversaries!
Jerry: He is the meanest, maddest snake you'll ever lay eyes on! You don't trust anybody, especially that snake right there!
Jim Ross: The Bionic Redneck is pissed, you can count on that!

Jim Ross: Angle in trouble! Angle in trouble!
Jerry: No, Kurt! NO! [Triple H clotheslines Angle out of the ring, winning the Rumble]
Jim Ross: IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! THE GAME! THE GAME!
Howard: Your winner of the Royal Rumble match: Triple H!
Jim Ross: He went through eight months of hell just to make it back, but many said he'd never make it! And now Triple H is going to WrestleMania! Triple H is going to meet the Undisputed WWF Champion at WrestleMania!

2003[edit]

Michael Cole: Ladies and gentlemen, I believe that Team Angle has been ejected from this contest!
Tazz: Wait a minute, that ain't...if that's true, that ain't cool, that ain't right!
Michael Cole: What do you mean, it's not right?
Tazz: [stammering] Well, I...maybe it is right. I don't know, I thought Team Angle was out here to learn and...observe from Kurt Angle.
Michael Cole: Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit will be a classic match-up. There is no need for Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas to be involved. I believe Kurt Angle, Tazz, deep down inside realizes that he cannot beat Chris Benoit. He brought Benjamin and Haas in here as an insurance policy—that insurance policy has been sent to the back.

Jerry: [after Chris Jericho nails Shawn Michaels with a chair] Jericho admitted he always admired and emulated Shawn Michaels, but you'd never know it from that vile chair shot!
Jim Ross: I don't know if Jericho respects anybody or anything!

Jerry: Poor HBK caught off guard right from the get-go with the help, of course, from Christian and that phony entrance there; Jericho shows up from behind, low blow... [Jericho tosses Michaels onto the floor] ...and ousts Shawn Michaels!
Jim Ross: Shawn Michaels eliminated by Chris Jericho! Shawn Michaels, battered and bloody, a low blow, a chair shot, the distraction, all combined to eliminate Shawn Michaels. I tell you what, I would not have called that in a million years.

John Cena: Yo, Yo, Yo!!! Thuganomics Style!
Naw, naw, Put down your tea potties, get away from your John Hancocks,
I'm rockin this Thuganomics style
Yo, besides open mics, one thing that gets me boiled
Is an old school 30-man battle royal
I'm-a win this, I'm-a make my impression
Show Vinnie Mac that I got ruthless aggression
The odds were even until you chose me
Now it's 29 dudes and one ruthless MC
Yo, it doesn't matter, kid, 'cause I'll rip your nose off
I could batter you naked with no clothes on
Kid, what you talkin' 'bout. Three reasons I'm-a win this
Reason #1—I cut you up like cucumbers
Reason #2 that you care to protest
I'll be chokin' you like Sprewell be chokin' coaches
Reason #3's hard for me to explain to ya
But I'm-a win tonight and go on to WrestleMania
The Royal Rumble's just another test I got to pass
Y'all dudes are like a kid with one leg—you half-assed
Yo, what you talkin' 'bout, kid. You can't touch this
Throw the double clutches if you're down with untouches
Yo it's my year, I suggest you take the year off.
I'm sick like Tyson was when he bit Holyfield's ear off.
It doesn't matter, kid. Yo, you should stop defeat me
My style's like a swollen penis, you can't beat me.
Jerry: Oh, do you like the rap, JR?
Jim Ross: Ninety seconds of...what the hell'd he say? Word to your mother.

Jim Ross: Cena's an amazing young athletic prospect on SmackDown. He's a future main event player, and you're in the main event at WrestleMania if you can win the Royal Rumble match. Cena's got his whole career ahead of him—a great young prospect, but he rapped for damn near ninety seconds.
Jerry: So what's wrong with that? He's still in the Royal Rumble.

[Undertaker is staring back at an already-eliminated Batista, who he just hit with a steel chair]
Jim Ross: And Brock Lesnar...
Jerry: HEY!
Jim Ross: LESNAR! [Lesnar throws out Undertaker, winning the Rumble] And OH YES! BROCK LESNAR'S WON THE RUMBLE! BROCK LESNAR HAS ELIMINATED THE UNDERTAKER!
Howard: Here is the winner of the Royal Rumble match, Brock Lesnar!
Jerry: Look at the Undertaker. Yeah, he got you. He got you, Undertaker.
Jim Ross: Brock Lesnar is now in the main event at WrestleMania! The Road to WrestleMania has begun here at the Royal Rumble!

Jerry: [Undertaker reenters the ring after Brock Lesnar's win] Wait a minute. What's gonna happen here?
Jim Ross: This could be another explosion.
Jerry: No, I think the Undertaker's saying...that's twice you got me. But next time you got a title, he wants a shot.
Jim Ross: I think that's exactly what the Undertaker said: if you become the Champion again, give me my opportunity. And Brock Lesnar will give the Undertaker that opportunity.
Jerry: Undertaker had delivered that chair shot on Batista, but he took his mind off Brock Lesnar, just for a split second.
Jim Ross: This is gonna kill Paul Heyman.

2004[edit]

Batista: Hey, Dudleys! What is it with you guys and championship matches? I mean, we whipped your ass at Armageddon, we kicked your asses all over Raw, we're about to beat your asses again tonight! I mean, you guys are the biggest three-time losers since the Philadelphia Eagles!

Tazz: [after Ernest "The Cat Miller is thrown out, having spent his entire stay dancing in the ring to "Somebody Call My Mama"] Good, enough of the dancing. I'm sick of it.
Jim Ross: Well, we're back down to where we started. We'll continue the wrestling portion of the Royal Rumble match.
Tazz: Somebody better call his mama. Call him a taxi to the hotel.
Jim Ross: Cat's got plenty of time to call his mama.

Howard: Ladies and gentlemen, as both men were unable to answer at the count of ten, the referee has declared that Triple H is still the World Heavyweight Champion!

Jim Ross: Randy Orton needs to make hay while the sun is shining, so to speak.
Tazz: What the hell does that mean, JR? I'm from Brooklyn.

Jim Ross: [as Cena notices Nunzio laying low by the barrier] I think Nunzio's tenure in the Witness Protection Program has just come to an abrupt end.

Jim Ross: [Benoit, on the apron, has a headlock on the Big Show] Benoit's been holding on, and holding, he's holding! [Benoit takes the Big Show off his feet and slowly...] The Big Show's teetering! Can Benoit--
Tazz: Oh my God! He's gonna go! JR!
Jim Ross: THE BIG SHOW-
Tazz: Can he do it? Hang on, Show!
Jim Ross: SHOW IS TEETERING!
Tazz: Hang on, Show!
Jim Ross: BENOIT'S HOLDING ON!
Tazz: [... throws him out, winning the Rumble] WOWWWWWWWWW!
Jim Ross: YES! BENOIT!!! BENOIT HAS DONE IT!
Howard: Here is your winner of the 2004 Royal Rumble match: Chris Benoit!
Tazz: Benoit's going to WrestleMania, JR, and he's getting a title shot.
Jim Ross: Chris Benoit, for over one hour of hell, has won the Royal Rumble match before 17,289 fans! And yes, Chris Benoit's dream to headline WrestleMania has come true!
Tazz: Chris Benoit has worked has ass off for 19 years, and the day has come!

2005[edit]

[Batista walks into the room to draw his number for the Royal Rumble]
Eric Bischoff: What the hell kind of championship match do you call that, where you have a hundred people interfering?
Theodore Long: What are you talking about? Like your World Championship match isn't gonna have a ton of interference. Everyone knows that Evolution's gonna get involved. Batista...you can even ask him; he can tell you that.
Eric: Well, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do...
Batista: [having drawn] I just came here to get my number.
Eric: What I'm gonna do...
Theodore: What are you gonna do?
Eric: Raw's Championship match—Evolution is banned from ringside.
Theodore: Really?
Batista: Is that right?
Eric: That's right, Batista, and my decision is final. The only question is, do you wanna tell Triple H, or would you like me to?
Batista: [thinking about it, then smiling] No, I'll tell him.
Theodore: [to Eric, as Batista leaves] You know something? For once, you've done something right.

John "Bradshaw" Layfield: If Amy looks good sober, can you imagine what she's gonna look like after this bottle?!

Theodore: What's gonna happen at No Way Out, you will face the man that you did not pin tonight—The Big Show.
JBL: What's he gonna do, eat me? What's he gonna do? I don't care if he's from the Jurassic Age, the Triassic Age or the Chevy Classic Age; I'm gonna beat the Big Show like he's gonna eat a pizza!

Jim Ross: Severe weather alert: The Hurricane has passed through.

Jim Ross: [on entry #14: Muhammad Hassan] Unfortunately, this man is from Raw.
Tazz: You proud of this guy, JR?
Jim Ross: I am not.
Tazz: You can keep him on Raw, I'll tell you that right now.
Jim Ross: I'll make you a trade.

Jim Ross: What the hell is Simon Dean doing?
Tazz: I have no idea. Your Raw guys are...I don't know what the hell they're doing playing games, with all respect.
Jim Ross: He's as goofy as a pet coon, I can tell you that right now. Look at him. He's warming up. He had all damn day to warm up! Get in the ring, you idiot! Mysterio taking out Eddie Guerrero face-first.
Tazz: [laughing] Dude's doing Hindu squats outside of the ring. [Edge throws out Eddie Guerrero] Oh, damn it to Hell! You gotta be kidding.
Jim Ross: Eddie Guerrero eliminated. Edge eliminating Eddie Guerrero.
Tazz: That's your fault! That's Raw's fault, because this guy on the outside's doing squats and he distracted Guerrero!
...
Jim Ross: [as Simon Dean gets in the ring] I hope somebody eliminates Simon Dean, like, immediately. Right now.
Tazz: Me too.
Jim Ross: John Doan could've eliminated him for all I care!

Tazz: [on entry #21: Jonathan Coachman] Tell me, JR, that he deserves to be in the Rumble.
Jim Ross: I can't.
Tazz: Well, look at the arms on him. Last time I saw arms like that, they were hanging out of a nest. Give me a break, this guy's not a superstar.
Jim Ross: Don't get mad at me about it, I didn't put him in.
Tazz: I'm mad at everybody!
Jim Ross: Bischoff put him in.
Tazz: That's true.
Jim Ross: Look at Coach taking his time. He's got...just so you know who he is, you ever wonder, just look at his ass—it's got "Coach" written all over it.

Jim Ross: We've got a major malfunction in the junction here. We've got two winners of the Royal Rumble, or do we?

Howard: Ladies and gentlemen, by order of the chairman, Mr. McMahon, he has ordered that this match be restarted!

Jim Ross: Batista from Raw overpowering John Cena...
Tazz: No, no, no, no [Batista throws Cena out, finally winning the Rumble] NO!
Jim Ross: Batista beats Cena! Batista, the exclamation point, is on his head!
Howard: The winner of the Royal Rumble match: Batista!
Jim Ross: It was not without controversy, but by God, we know now who's going to the main event at WrestleMania, Tazz!

2006[edit]

Triple H: [as the numbers are being mixed] You see the problem with the whole living in the fantasy world, talking about destiny. I live in reality.
Randy Orton: Reality, huh?
Triple H: Yeah, I live in reality world. Realities like...me beating you for a title, or realities of you not standing a chance tonight. I'm gonna win the Royal Rumble. Torrie, would you mind opening your box for me. [Torrie opens the bin and Triple H reaches in to draw a number. He pulls out a ball, Candice taps it with her wand.] Would you hold my ball? [Candice takes the empty ball and Triple H unfolds the paper containing the number] Kid, read 'em and weep.
[Triple H looks and his jaw drops]
Randy Orton: [laughing] Whoa, bro. Reality? Let me tell you what your reality is—you're screwed. You are screwed, man; tough luck. I'll see you out there...or maybe not.

Joey Styles: Mickie James is obsessed with Trish. She's her #1 fan, she's obsessed with Trish, and time and time again she's attacked Ashley just because...well, for no reason, quite frankly. Just because when anyone gets near Trish, Mickie James goes crazy.
Jerry: Well, who wouldn't go crazy when you get near Trish?
Joey Styles: Oh, you know what I mean.
Jerry: I would love to be that striped shirt that Trish is wearing. Can you imagine being that close to Trish?

Jerry: I can usually read a woman like a book—I prefer the Braille edition—but Mickie James, I can't get a read on her at all.

Jerry: Rey Mysterio drew #2, looked up in the skies, the heavens, and said, "Eddie, you got me." Maybe Eddie just wanted to watch Rey for a long time tonight.

[Randy Orton is about to throw Mysterio out]
Michael Cole: And this is a damn shame that Triple H had to end Rey Mysterio's hopes this way.
Jerry: Well, this just shows you how...
Michael Cole: Orton parading around with Mysterio. [Mysterio grasps the top rope] And Rey! Rey hanging on to the top rope!
Jerry: Rey hanging on for dear life here. [Suddenly Rey turns around, puts his legs between Orton's head...] Whoa, whoa!
Michael Cole: And Mysterio! [...and does a hurricanrana, throwing Orton out and winning the Rumble] HE DID IT! HE DID IT! HE DID IT! HE DID IT!
Jerry: No way!
Michael Cole: REY MYSTERIO DID IT!
Lilian Garcia: Here is your winner: Rey Mysterio!
Michael Cole: REY MYSTERIO IS GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!
Jerry: Latino Heat is alive and well! Look at this!

Michael Cole: Rey Mysterio dedicated this match-up to Eddie Guerrero, he went for over an hour with the Eddie Guerrero logo on his wrestling tights, and Rey Mysterio has won the 2006 Royal Rumble match!
Jerry: Well, without a doubt the biggest win in Rey Mysterio's career, but it could lead to an even bigger win at WrestleMania.

2007[edit]

Jerry: Was that a scream of joy from Melina?
Jim Ross: I haven't made a lot of women scream, so I can't tell you.

Michael Cole: It's been well-documented, JBL, that when Mr. Kennedy can target a body part, he will be relentless and rabid on the assault throughout the match-up, and that's what he's doing here.
JBL: Just what I said. Just exactly what I said! I'm sitting out here with a damn parrot!

JBL: Somebody call the San Antonio sheriff because Kennedy was robbed tonight!
Michael Cole: Kennedy wasn't robbed. He was beaten by a game champion, by the World Heavyweight Champion, the Animal Batista.
JBL: No, he was beaten 'cause Nick Patrick had his head up his ass and laid down...ignored a World Championship count!
Michael Cole: I guess you didn't see the low blow.
JBL: I saw the low blow! So what? You get hit in the mouth, you get hit low, that's what happens in World Championships! Kennedy, after a year of beating six World Champions, had a shot with the lights on bright, he danced his ass off, and he deserves to be walking out with that gold right now, going to WrestleMania!

JBL: The hard thing about the Rumble—and you know this, King—is you're out there, you're tired, you're trying to eliminate people, and all of the sudden, someone fresh comes out there and comes after you.
Michael Cole: You guys know all about, being well, in Rumbles for a long time. JBL, you lasted 40 minutes in one Rumble; King, you lasted over 36 minutes in another.
Jerry: Yeah, but I hid for 30 minutes under the ring.
Michael Cole: Hey, you stole the punchline from JBL.

JBL: [on CM Punk] They say he doesn't drink, he doesn't do drugs; I call that boring, But that's okay, he's real talented.
Michael Cole: But he's a hell of an athlete...
JBL: He's a great athlete. Obviously doesn't have much of a social life.

Michael Cole: King Booker claiming he never got his one-on-one rematch with Batista...
JBL: "Claiming"?! He never got his one-on-one rematch! That guy right there got robbed of the World Championship. He should be the one fighting Batista, not having to come out here in the Royal Rumble, but what he has the opportunity to do—[as Booker eliminates Gregory Helms] Goodbye, Gregory Helms, see you later!—what he has the opportunity to do is add one more accolade to a Hall of Fame career!

Michael Cole: And the Hardys, who have a long history with Edge, going to work on Rated-RKO.
JBL: Well, they stole all their girlfriends.

JBL: [King Booker eliminates Kane, even though Kane already eliminated him] It's legal to bring a Singapore cane in there, it's legal to bring a chair in there, it's legal to come back in and you can do it!
Michael Cole: So...so, does that mean Kane's eliminated?
JBL: Kane is eliminated, he's over the top rope, Kane is out!
Michael Cole: This is ridiculous!
JBL: It's not ridiculous, it's fact, Michael! It is what it is!
Jerry It's the Royal Rumble!
[Buzzer sounds, signaling entry #19: Viscera]
Michael Cole: Uh-oh!
JBL: Here comes Visagra.
Jerry: But I don't think he's bringing any love to the Royal Rumble.
Michael Cole: Booker and Kane are still going at it here at ringside! Booker incensed that the Big Red Machine eliminated him...
JBL: How the hell could he not be incensed? He should have never had to been in the Royal Rumble anyway!
Michael Cole: Oh, come on, John, call the damn match!
JBL: Takes a cheap shot at him and throws him out!
Michael Cole: That's part of the match and you know it!
JBL: He should've had...he should not have had to been in the Royal Rumble, Michael! I'm begging you to be unbiased!

Jerry: Is there anybody in there capable of lifting Viscera over the top rope?
Michael Cole: Like I said before, seven men it took in Viscera's debut.
JBL: I don't know how many men Viscera's gonna eat.

Jerry: JBL, did Michael Cole just compare Rob Van Dam to Gumby?
Michael Cole: I said he was Gumby-like.
JBL: Disgusting. I deal with this every week.

Jerry: CM Punk is a popular young star. He's got a huge future ahead of him, whether he wins this Royal Rumble or not.
JBL: Needs to start drinking though.

Michael Cole: Here comes Miz, at #29.
Jerry: Miz!
JBL: Don't worry, King, I hate him too.
Michael Cole: And Miz... [The Great Khali picks Miz up and tosses him out of the ring] Well, he may have set a record.
JBL: The Warlord had the record at three seconds—did Miz just beat it?

Michael Cole: [The Great Khali has eliminated seven men, and four lie in the ring] The power, the strength, who can stop the Great Khali?!
JBL: Absolutely nobody.
Jerry: [as the buzzer sounds for entry #30] I'd have second thoughts about coming out...
[Funeral bell sounds, meaning only one man
JBL: Here we go!
Michael Cole: Maybe there is someone! Maybe there is someone! The legendary Phenom, the Undertaker!
JBL: But nobody has come in at #30 and won the Royal Rumble ever.
Michael Cole: It's never happened, but Undertaker has faced, he has battled, he has taken out Khali before.
JBL: The roof is about to blow off this place!
Jerry: It doesn't get any better than this!
JBL: Throw some gasoline on the fire! My God, I love it!

JBL: Who would believe that the 20th Royal Rumble, the most star-studded, is quite frankly the best of them all?!
Jerry: JBL, right now, who do you think? Who's got the most gas left in the tank?
JBL: [as Shawn prepares to superkick the Undertaker] This is how Shawn Michaels eliminated Diesel! Here we go!
Michael Cole: Shawn Michaels... [Undertaker catches him, picks him up, and throws him out, winning the Rumble] Eliminated Shawn Michaels! Undertaker is going to WrestleMania!
Lilian Garcia: Here is your winner of the 2007 Royal Rumble: The Undertaker!
Michael Cole: For the first time in his illustrious career, the Undertaker has won the Royal Rumble match!
JBL: Going to WrestleMania, the main event. The Undertaker, 14-0 in WrestleMania!

JBL: You wanna go to the top of the mountain? Get this tape and watch it over and over and over again because that is the best in the business and how they fight!

2008[edit]

Joey Styles: How would you like to share a subway car with Snitsky at about midnight?
Jim Ross: I wouldn't want to share a Subway sandwich with Snitsky at midnight.

[Buzzer sounds for #30. The music plays and doors open for...]
Jerry: What?!
Jim Ross: Wait a minute. What the hell?!
Tazz: What is this?!
Jim Ross: IT'S JOHN CENA! JOHN CENA, #30!
Jerry: Oh my gosh!
Joey Styles: This is unbelievable!
Tazz: You gotta be kiddin' me!
Joey Styles: Oh, my God!
Michael Cole: Triple H's expression told the entire story!
Jim Ross: The roof is exploding off of Madison Square Garden! John Cena, the 30th entrant in the Royal Rumble match! And yes indeed, business just picked up!

Jim Ross: These men, somehow, someway, are able to stand, and it's the Game who rises first. [Triple H hoists John Cena on his shoulders and attempts to throw him out, but Cena holds on to the bottom rope] Cena! Cena now in a precarious position! Cena holding on to the top rope, but the Game, so strong, so powerful, with the heart and the soul to headline WrestleMania! [Cena gets off Triple H's shoulders and attempts to FU him] And Cena counters!
Jerry: Whoa! WHOA!
Jim Ross: But not for long, Cena countered! [Triple H attempts the Pedigree, but Cena counters and hoists Triple H on his shoulders] The counter... OH, A SHOW OF STRENGTH! [Cena FU's Triple H, winning the Rumble]
Jerry: WHOA!
Jim Ross: CENA GOT HIM OVER! CENA DOES IT!
Jerry: WHOA-OH-OH!
Michael Buffer: Ladies and gentlemen, the 2008 Royal Rumble winner is JOHN CENA!
Jim Ross: When we started this historic night, the last man I thought that would headline WrestleMania would be John Cena because I didn't think John Cena was physically able to return to combat in the WWE! And, my, my, how wrong I was!
Jerry: Not only did John Cena return, he has prevailed! Unbelievable!

2009[edit]

[Both members of Cryme Tyme enter the arena]
Jim Ross: Which one's it gonna be? Big Shad or JTG?
Jerry: [as JTG pulls out a coin] There can only be one, they're gonna flip a coin. [JTG flips it, wins the toss, and goes to the ring] Is that a coin?
Jim Ross: What did you think it was, a tooth?
Jerry: No telling. Could be a license plate this guys made. [Shad picks up the coin and can't help but smile when he sees that...] It's a double-sided coin!
Jim Ross: JTG wins the toss and has elected to offend.
Jerry: It was a two-headed coin!

Jerry: In some of the pubs that Finlay frequents, this is the way they decide who picks up the tab.
Jim Ross: Something you usually don't ever do.

Jim Ross: [as Santino Marella, the #28 entry, charges to the ring] The king of the unibrow. No offense, King. [The very moment Santino enters the ring, Kane clotheslines him back out] OH!
Jerry: WHAT?!
Jim Ross: Good lord!
Santino: I wasn't ready! I wasn't ready! No! I wasn't actually prepared!
(Cue to most of the superstars stop fighting in the ring amaze/surprise of Santino's fastest elimination by Kane)
Jim Ross: That was a record! I think the Warlord's record may have been broken!
Jerry: Err..No redos, Santino! [Kane laughes as it goes off the replay] Ha!Ha!Ha! Let's see if we can time this in our heads. 1,001...one thousan...he didn't even last two seconds! About a second-and-a-half!
Jim Ross: So Santino may have gone in the record books, but not in the way he would've liked.

[Triple H dumps Orton over the top, but he lands on the apron]
Jerry: There goes Orton!
Jim Ross: Orton's gon... Orton's not gone! [Triple H Pedigrees Cody Rhodes] What a Pedigree! A Pedigree to Rhodes! [ Ted DiBiase runs at Triple H, but is sent flying over the top rope to the floor] DiBiase's gone! We're down to three! We're down to three!
[Triple H tosses Cody out]
Jerry: There goes Rhodes! He's gone! Cody Rhodes is gone!
[Orton, now back in the ring, dumps Triple H out of the ring, winning the Rumble]
Jim Ross: Triple H...is gone! ORTON DID IT!
Justin Roberts: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 2009 Royal Rumble: Randy Orton!
Jerry: Randy Orton from behind! Just as the Game had eliminated Cody Rhodes, Orton struck!
Jim Ross: The Game eliminated 2/3 of Legacy, but Randy Orton took advantage of opportunity to win the 2009 Royal Rumble! And you know what this means!
Jerry: [as Cody and Ted re-enter] It means that that man, Randy Orton, has a one-way ticket to the 25th Anniversary of WrestleMania. But he didn't do it alone—there's his help.
...
Jim Ross: The Game fought and fought and fought, tried to hang on, but it was too much. The odds were too much, and now Randy Orton's legacy is this—he is guaranteed a championship match at the 25th Anniversary of WrestleMania.
Jerry: [as Orton points to the WrestleMania sign] 48 minutes and 27 seconds it took Randy Orton to win this Royal Rumble.
Jim Ross: Randy Orton is going to WrestleMania to become a champion, to compete in the main event, and it's guaranteed.

2010[edit]

CM Punk: [after eliminating Evan Bourne and Dolph Ziggler, leaving him alone in the ring] Let me thank you all for joining me tonight in what will be the most historic moment my Straight Edge Society has ever seen. These are just the first of 29 other men that will be thrown over the top rope, or, if they have the courage that the WWE Universe lacks, they can be saved. [The clock counts down from ten seconds] But unfortunately, not everyone can win the Royal Rumble. Excuse me, it's clobberin' time.
Matt Striker: Who's the next sacrifice for Ben Grimm?

Jerry: [after Punk eliminates JTG] You know what the bad news there is, don't you? We're gonna have to listen to CM Punk again.
Matt: No, nothing wrong with that.
CM Punk: As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, not everybody can win the Royal Rumble match, just like not everyone can be saved. There are people here tonight that cannot, that will not ever have the reserve and dedication in their heart to follow in my footsteps. [The clock counts down again] Tonight I become the first ever straight edge Royal Rumble match winner.
[Entrant #5 is the Great Khali]
Michael Cole: Oh boy! The Punjabi Playboy.
Matt: Let's see if CM Punk can curry favor with the Great Khali.
Michael Cole: 7'3", 420 pounds, making his fourth Rumble appearance.
Matt: CM Punk looking at his Mary Magdalene, Serena. How is Punk going to deal with the Great Khali?
CM Punk: Great Khali, Great Khali, Great Khali, I can save you. Great Khali, I can make you...I can make you greater! I can see the pain in your eyes—you need to be saved! Please, Great Khali, raise your right hand! [Great Khali raises his right hand] Do you accept straight edge into your life?
[With his right hand, Khali chops Punk down]
Michael Cole: The straight edge chop.
Matt: CM Punk was only trying to save the Great Khali, but...[Khali starts crushing Punk's head] All Khali has to do is pick Punk up and throw him over the top rope.
Michael Cole: The skull enveloped in those hands of Khali
Jerry: Who's gonna save CM right now?
Michael Cole: [as the clock counts down] Who will enter at #6?
Jerry: Could crush his head like a grape.
[Entrant #6 is Beth Phoenix, who runs to the ring]
Matt: That's Beth Phoenix.
Michael Cole: The Glamazon! Just the second woman in Rumble history.
Jerry: Are you serious?
Matt: [as Phoenix stares into Khali's eyes] Every Superstar is eligible but...really? [Khali picks her up and places her over the top rope onto the apron, pointing her to go back] Khali's the Punjabi Playboy. Gentle.
Michael Cole: Chivalry is not dead.
[Beth kisses Khali in a mad embrace, pulling him over the top]
Matt: Why does Khali get all the good stuff?! [Phoenix pulls him onto the floor and gets back in the ring] Never trust a woman, look at that!
Michael Cole: Beth Phoenix has eliminated the Great Khali!

Matt: CM Punk has so far eliminated four- well, three superstars and a diva.

Matt: Ground control to Major John, this could be Starship Pain.

Michael Cole: Awaiting #20
[Shawn superkicks Triple H out of the ring]
Matt: WOOOOOWWWWWW!!! [continues over]
Michael Cole: Sweet Chin Music!
Jerry: Oh my God!
Michael Cole: Shawn Michaels has eliminated Triple H! It is indeed every man for himself!

Michael Cole: #29 on his way.
Jerry: Who's gonna join these guys? [buzzer sounds; Jericho gives a shocked look as Edge's music plays.]
Michael Cole: HOLY–!!
Jerry: WHAT?!
Michael Cole: OH MY!! The Rated:-R Superstar! The former World Champion!
Jerry: What?!
Matt: [refering to the immense cheers of Edge's return] Listen to the ovation!
Michael Cole: It is thunderous in the Phillips Arena!
Matt: After what many thought to be a career-threatening injury, Edge has returned!

Jerry: Look out, here comes Edge!
[Edge clotheslines Michaels over the top rope, the momentum sending him over as well, with both landing on the apron.]
Michael Cole: Both hang on, both hang on. For a moment. But look at...teetering precariously on the apron. Oh, this is dangerous. This is dangerous for both of these men.
[Michaels superkicks Edge over the top and back into the ring]
Matt: Whoa! Back into the ring, though!
Michael Cole: Sweet Chin Music... [Batista attacks Michaels from behind, who still hangs on by one hand] Batista ambushing Michaels! [Batista knocks Michaels' hand away and Michaels falls to the floor] NO!!!
Matt: NO!!!
Jerry: Shawn Michaels eliminated.
Matt: Hearts have been broken right now. Everyone wanted to see Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker, the rematch

Jerry: [as Michaels reenters the ring, referee Charles Robinson following him] What's he doing? He can't...
Matt: Shawn Michaels has been eliminated.
Charles: Get out! Get out! It's over, Shawn. Get out! All right? It's over. Get out.
Shawn: You don't understand!
Charles: I can't help you! You went over the rope! What do you want me to do about it?! Let's go!
[Michaels superkicks Charles and falls to the mat as referee Jack Doan implores him to leave.]
Jack Doan: Shawn, you gotta go. You gotta go.
Matt: This match meant everything to Shawn Michaels. [An unconsolable Michaels leaves the ring and makes his way up the aisle]It's the one thing in Shawn Michaels' career that he's never achieved.
Michael Cole: That man, Batista.
Matt: Let's not lose sight of what this night is about, though—the road to WrestleMania.
Jerry: Yeah, but I'm worried about Shawn here.
Shawn: GOD!!! Oh, you've gotta be kidding me!
Michael Cole: I can not help but feel for him. We are down to three, ladies and gentlemen; let's refocus on what's at hand.

Michael Cole: John Cena's been in the match the longest, over 25 minutes thus far. Batista, remember, entered at #30, Edge at #29.
Matt: Well, HBK entered at #18, so he has to be in at least a minute longer than... [As he says this, Batista charges Cena, who grabs the top rope and pull down, sending Batista over to the floor] ...CENA! OH!
Jerry: Batista eliminated!
Michael Cole: John Cena, a little payback from 2005. John Cena has eliminated Batista. We are now down to two.
Jerry: [as Edge preps from the other side of the ring] Watch your back, John.
[Edge runs to spear Cena...]
Michael Cole: Here it is. [...but Cena catches him with a knee] Look at him take advantage. Cena...saw it coming... [Cena charges Edge, but Edge steps aside and tosses him out of the ring, winning the Rumble] OH NO! EDGE HAS DONE IT! EDGE HAS DONE IT! EDGE IS GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!
Justin Roberts: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 2010 Royal Rumble: The Rated-R Superstar, Edge!
Matt: Oh, my God! On this day, I see clearly. The Ultimate Opportunist, Edge, is going to WrestleMania!
Michael Cole: I cannot believe it, ladies and gentlemen. Edge wasn't supposed to be here. Edge wasn't supposed to be back in action for months, and he came from out of nowhere, and he entered at #29, and he eliminated John Cena, and he's won the Royal Rumble match!

2011[edit]

Matt: [on Vickie Guerrero] She looks like a can of strawberry soda with botulism. Look at that top.

Michael Cole: [as Edge is about to spear Dolph Ziggler while the referee and Vickie are out cold] He can't do this!
Jerry: Oh, yes he can!
Michael Cole: No, he can't! It's illegal!
Matt: Remember, if a tree falls in the woods and no one's there to hear it, it never happened.
[Edge spears Ziggler]
Michael Cole: Somebody had to see that! Ref, get up! Edge isn't hurt! Edge is acting, he deserves an Oscar nomination here! Come on, ref, you fool!
Jerry: [as the ref slowly gets up] This is great.
Michael Cole: How did the ref not see that?!
Jerry: What do you mean, "how did the referee not see that"? The ref was knocked down, Vickie Guerrero's knocked down.
Michael Cole: This is ridiculous! This is a travesty!
Jerry: Somebody wake Vickie Guerrero up. She definitely needs to see this.
[Edge gives the Killswitch to Ziggler]
Matt: Look at this! A little shout-out to his buddy!
Michael Cole: The cover. [The referee counts to three] You've gotta be kidding me!
...
Michael Cole: It's too damn bad the Oscar nominations came out last week, because this man would be a frontrunner for Best Actor!
...
Jerry: How many times had Vickie Guerrero slapped, punched, and done all those things to Edge? I don't think that Edge...I don't know how he kept his composure. But right here, he realized Vickie Guerrero was down; he looked over, he saw the referee down.
Michael Cole: But this is illegal! The spear is illegal!
Matt: The cat's away, the mice will play. The teacher didn't see it, I didn't do it!

Josh Matthews: Miz, you're just moments away from your title defense, however you requested this time to address the WWE Universe.
The Miz: Josh, my entire championship reign has been smeared with lies and accusations, from "if it wasn't for Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler would be Champion", "if it wasn't for Alex Riley, Randy Orton would be Champion." There is a reason why I'm a champion, and people like Randy Orton, Jerry Lawler, and even Tom Brady are not champions.
Alex Riley: The Miz can outbrawl Randy Orton, outwrestle him, outshine him, outsmart him, and outclass him. He's gonna beat Randy tonight, and he's gonna go on to WrestleMania the WWE Champion.
The Miz: As I told Randy Orton as I stood over his barely conscious body two weeks ago, I'm the Miz...and I'm awesome.

Jerry: The Miz does not even realize that he's won.
Michael Cole: It doesn't matter, he's still the WWE Champion. He's retained the WWE Championship.
Jerry: The Miz, fat lip and all, is asking the referee what happened. You gonna tell me, Cole, the Miz is gonna be a proud WWE Champion after that?
Michael Cole: He should be proud—he's still the WWE Champ.

Matt: What's interesting about Daniel Bryan is that he spent twelve years honing his craft, toiling in the minor leagues; imagine what it would mean for Daniel Bryan to go to WrestleMania.
Michael Cole: Minor leagues???
Matt: Yeah, before he came to the WWE, everything's the minor leagues.
Michael Cole: Well, for CM Punk, he's in the big time now. CM Punk, the three-time World Champion and about to go to school on this dork Daniel Bryan.
Jerry: Yeah, if what you is right, then CM Punk was in the minor leagues.
Matt: Yeah, this is...a lot of the Internet loves this match-up right now.
Michael Cole: The Internet loves this, the Internet loves that. Who cares about the stupid Internet?!

[Alternating chants]
Half of audience: DANIEL BRYAN!
Other half: CM PUNK!

Matt: From Merrick, Long Island; cocky and brash, even "The Situation" finds this guy annoying—Zack Ryder.

[On the Nexus working together and standing alone in the ring]
Jerry: Say what you want, this is not what the Royal Rumble is about.
Michael Cole: Why not?!
Jerry: The Royal Rumble is supposed to be about every man for himself.
Michael Cole: King, you would do this.
Jerry: No I would not.
Michael Cole: You would do this.
Jerry: Yeah, if I could find four or five suckers that would play along with it, I might.
Matt: Just call up Mid-South.
Jerry [clearly unamused]: Not funny.

[The buzzer sounds for #32. The sound of an engine turning over causes the crowd to roar and the action to stop.]
Matt: Holy sh...!
[The big rig horn sounds, perfectly timed to censor Striker]
Michael Cole: You've gotta be kidding me! Big Daddy Cool Diesel!
Jerry: WHAT?!
Michael Cole: Diesel's back! Diesel's here! 6'11", 311 pounds, from Detroit, Michigan!
Matt: This is what it's all about! You never know who's gonna show up!
Michael Cole: The former WWE Champion...
Matt: Look at the faces!
Jerry: Look at your face.
Michael Cole: King, who will ever forget in 1994 when Diesel entered the Rumble match and eliminated seven men! Nearly seven feet tall! Diesel's back!

The Miz: [unaware Riley was eliminated] Notice Alex Riley. Alex Riley is being very smart right now.
Jerry: Where is he?

Matt: You win the Royal Rumble, you headline WrestleMania. You have a choice—which championship do you go after? Which match do you want to be in?
Michael Cole: You gotta win the Royal Rumble match first. One of these men looking to live their dreams...[Randy Orton throws Wade Barrett out] Wade Barrett eliminated...
[Alberto Del Rio gets Randy over the top rope...]
Michael Cole and Matt: Yes, do it! Do it!
[...and out to the floor, seemingly winning the Rumble]
Matt: YEAH!
Michael Cole: Del Rio! Del Rio! Del Rio! Del Rio does it!
Matt: Vaya con dios, Alberto Del Rio!
Ricardo Rodriguez: Cabas y caballeros, su ganador de Royal Rumble eras ALBERTOOO DEL RIIIOOO! (Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the Royal Rumble is Alberto Del Rio!)
Matt: Alberto Del Rio is going to WrestleMania!
Jerry: I can't believe it. I can assure you I would've never made this...[Mike Chioda talks with Alberto in the ring after Santino re-enters] whoa, wait a minute.
Michael Cole: Folks, remember, King, remember what you said earlier. Remember what you said earlier. Santino was never eliminated, remember? He never went over the top rope! He went underneath the bottom rope!
Jerry: Santino's still in this... [Alberto turns around and walks into Santino's Cobra]
Michael Cole: The Cobra! The Cobra! Oh my God! Oh my God! The biggest upset in Rumble history! This is gonna be the biggest upset in Rumble history!
Jerry: Throw him out, Santino! Throw him out!
Michael Cole: Santino is gonna go to WrestleMania! Oh my God, you gotta be kidding me!
Jerry: No, this is great!
Michael Cole: You gotta be kidding me!
[Santino runs Alberto to the ropes, but Alberto reverse the run and sends Santino flying out of the ring, finally winning the Rumble]
Michael Cole: Del Rio!
Matt: One more time! Alberto Del Rio is on his way to the main event at WrestleMania!

[In the ring, Rodriguez is singing Del Rio's praises in Spanish]
Michael Cole: Viva Del Rio! Viva Del Rio!
Jerry: Can I press 1 for English?

2012[edit]

Michael Cole: The thing is, Kane says Cena and, in turn, the WWE Universe not embracing hate is a cowardly act. And that's the words of Kane. They live lives filled with delusions, they all wanna cheer for John Cena or at least be a part of his life, or they wanna boo him. They want to live vicariously through Cena. That is a cowardly way out, in Kane's estimation.
Jerry: Well, if you're gonna try to make sense out of anything that Kane thinks, good luck.

Michael Cole: [after John Laurinaitis ejects Vickie Guerrero from ringside] Remember, CM Punk defeated Jack Swagger a couple of weeks ago. With that victory, it ensured that Swagger and Guerrero would not be at ringside for this match-up. Great move by Laurinaitis.
Booker T.: I just think he's sucking up.
Michael Cole: Here we go, Punk roll-up, shoulders down, and a kick-out. Sucking up? He followed the rules, Booker. I mean, give the man some credit for once in your life. What, did you have an issue back in the day of WCW with Johnny? That's why you're all upset with this man? Because he was a better worker than you? Because he was a better wrestler than you?
Booker T.: [clearly in disbelief] What? You gotta be kidding me.
Michael Cole: I mean, come on now. John Laurinaitis is...he's awesome!
Booker T.: You're talking about a guy who has done nothing in this business, right?
Michael Cole: Who, John? He was a world champion in Japan. That's what he was.
Booker T.: In Japan.
Michael Cole: Yes.
Jerry: In the world of Japan.
Booker T.: Yeah, the world of Japan.
Jerry: John Laurinaitis right now... I know you say he's got a lot of things on his plate, a lot of things to take care and be concerned with, but he's got his phone out, he's texting out here.
Michael Cole: He just texted me to tell me what a wonderful job I'm doing tonight and how glad he is to have me calling the Rumble.

Jerry: [on Vickie Guerrero] She's quite enamored with Dolph Ziggler. Unfortunately, he's already found the love of his life; too bad he can't marry himself.

CM Punk: [to Laurinaitis] Next GTS is for you, Clownshoes!

The Miz: Every Superstar backstage has been snickering at me all day. They think I'm actually bothered by the fact that I'm the #1 entry in the Royal Rumble match. They think it scares me. They think I'm intimidated by it. They think I don... they don't think I will make it to the end. But those are the same people, the same Superstars that told me I would never main-event WrestleMania, that I would never be in the main event, that I would never be in this ring a WWE Champion! Every time they have denied me, I have went above and beyond and proved them wrong, and tonight will be no different. I may be the first one out here, but I will be the last man standing, and I will go on to headline WrestleMania XXVIII because I'm the Miz, and I'm...awesome!

[Buzzer sounds for entry #8. Alberto Del Rio's music plays]
Michael Cole: Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Booker T.: What the hell?
Michael Cole: Alberto Del Rio's back! Alberto Del Rio, last year's Royal Rumble match winner, is back! [Car horn honks] Oh, this is gonna be awesome!
[The car producing the horn drives out.]
Jerry: What is that?!
Booker T.: What the hell? We got an old 280 Datsun? 280ZX?
Jerry: Hey, that's not Alberto Del Rio! Look!
Booker T.: Worth about $600.
Michael Cole: [as the driver reveals himself to be...] Is that... is that Ricardo?!
Jerry: I don't know, but his back window is a Hefty bag
Michael Cole: It's Del Rio's personal ring announcer Ricardo Rodriguez.
Jerry: And that's his car?!
Michael Cole: Well, yeah, you know, he's...never been champion.
Booker T.: Wow, a vintage 1985 Datsun 280Z.

Michael Cole: Kofi in trouble from the top rope.
Booker T.: He needs a little bit of help right now. Kofi needs a little help.
[Buzzer sounds for entry #12. Jerry's music play]
Jerry: Yes, he does, and you know what? What would a Royal Rumble be without a little royalty?!
Michael Cole: [as Jerry removes his headset and sweatshirt] You've gotta be kidding me! What are you doing?!
Booker T.: You didn't tell me you was in it, King!

Booker T.: [after Jerry drops a fist on the Miz] Vintage King right there, baby.
Michael Cole: Oh, now you're stealing my lines!

Michael Cole: No announcer should enter the Royal Rumble match.

Michael Cole: As we get ready for #17.
Jerry: Who's it gonna be?
[Buzzer sounds. Booker T.'s music plays]
Jerry: WHAT?!
Michael Cole: NOW YOU?!?!?! YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! NOW YOU?!
Jerry: Go get em, Booker! Go get em, sucka!

Michael Cole: Kofi still alive. Hands on the floor. Remember, both feet have to hit the floor. [Miz pushes Kofi's legs away] Oh, my God. Dangerous situation.
[Kofi, now out of the ring, walks on his hands to the steps]
Jerry: Oh, look at this!
Michael Cole: Oh, my God.
Jerry: LOOK AT THIS!
Michael Cole: [as Kofi lands his feet on the steps, crawls backwards onto them, and reenters the ring] ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
Jerry: He saved himself!
Michael Cole: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
Jerry: Kofi Kingston, what a move!
Michael Cole: That's gotta be the greatest thing I've ever seen!

Michael Cole: Who's gonna enter at #20? I think I know. I got a hunch. I got a hunch. [Buzzer sounds, Nickelback's "Burn It to the Ground" plays, Michael Cole is #20. He immediately undresses, revealing his orange singlet] YES! YES! YES!
Jerry: Oh, tell me this is not so. Tell me that Michael Cole is not entering...
Booker T.: What the hell you doing? You're not in the Rumble!
Jerry: Keep your pants on, nobody wants to see... just get in there!

Jerry: Look at Cole avoiding any contact with anybody.
Booker T.: Look at his stomach. I mean, he looks like he's been eating donuts all month.
Jerry: That's the way he works out. [Buzzer sounds for #21] Somebody get in there and get him.
Booker T.: Don't that just break your... [A cackle is heard and Michael Cole is instantly afraid] ohhhh....
Jerry: WHAT?! Wait a minute there, am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?
Booker T.: [as #21, Kharma, walks to the ring] Aww, wait a minute!
Jerry: [laughing] Kharma!
Booker T.: King, check this out. This is only the third time something like this has ever happened. Kharma is about to break somebody off a little something proper-like, dog!
Jerry: Oh, I hope she goes right after Cole!
Booker T.: I hope she just eat him like a piece of chicken!
Jerry: Michael Cole is already crying, I see tears running down... [Kharma clotheslines Michael] Oh, yes! She knocked his headgear right off!
Booker T.: She's looking at that boy like a chicken bone! She's fixing to eat!
[Michael climbs over the ropes]
Jerry: Oh, look at Cole.
Booker T.: King, come on.
[As Michael begs Kharma to go easy on him, Jerry and Booker leave the table and take his legs out from under him, sending him to the floor]
...
Booker T.: Cole, you okay?
Michael Cole: You guys just cost me my spot at WrestleMania! I was gonna win the thing!
Booker T.: Trying to help you out, dog.
Michael Cole: I didn't wanna touch a woman, that was why I climbed over the top rope!

[As Chris Jericho tries the Codebreaker on Sheamus, he gets caught and dumped over the top rope, but hangs on, avoiding the floor]
Michael Cole: No, they didn't hit. The referee's right there; his feet did not hit the floor. This match continues.
Jerry: [as Jericho gets back onto the ring] Once again, Jericho teeters and holds on for dear life.
[Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick on Jericho]
Michael Cole: Oh, Brogue Kick!
[Jericho falls to the floor]
Booker T.: Oh my goodness!
Michael Cole: Sheamus is going to WrestleMania!
Justin Roberts: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 2012 Royal Rumble: Sheamus!
Michael Cole: Ladies and gentlemen, the Great White is gonna be on the prowl on South Beach! Sheamus is going to WrestleMania!

2013[edit]

Kane: They said we were dysfunctional, but we're still the Tag Team Champions!
Daniel Bryan: Still the Tag Team Champions!
Vickie: Excuse me. Excuse me! Daniel, Kane, as managing supervisor of Raw, I am happy to give you your entry numbers into the Royal Rumble match. [Hands over two sealed envelopes] Good luck.
[She chuckles and leaves as Daniel and Kane open their envelopes. Kane looks at his and shrugs while Daniel points at his.]
Kane: Interesting.
Daniel: Well?
Kane: Well, what?
Daniel: Aren't...aren't you gonna show me?
Kane: Show you what?
Daniel: Show me your number.
Kane: Oh. Let me think about it for a second. No!
Daniel: "No"? What do you mean, "no"?! It's the rules!
Kane: Trust me. You would feel very inadequate.
Daniel: Wh...what does that mean? Just show it to me!
Kane: Daniel, it's bad strategy to reveal your number before a Royal Rumble match to anyone! See you out there, partner.
Daniel: Not if I see you first!
Kane: [holding up envelope] Yeah, that's highly unlikely.

Dolph: I stand before you all alone in the spotlight, exactly where I belong. And tonight, when this Royal Rumble match comes to a close, it's gonna be exactly the same—me standing in the middle of this ring all by myself as the winner of the Royal Rumble match!
Michael Cole: Only twice in history has someone won from the #1 spot. Only twice in history...
Dolph: And I don't even care who #2 is, so just send him out already.
Michael Cole: Well, only twice in history has someone won from the #2 position. The question is, who will be the man to start the Rumble match against Dolph Ziggler?
Loudspeaker: BREAK THE WALL DOWN!
Michael Cole: Oh, my!

Crowd: [chanting] YOU'VE STILL GOT IT!
Chris Jericho: I never lost it, baby!

Michael Cole: [on entry #9] It is the Harvard Law School graduate, David Otunga.
JBL: All right! Jennifer Hudson's husband!
Michael Cole: Otunga entering his third Royal Rumble match. All three of us here at ringside have been part of the Royal Rumble match. John, you've actually been in five in your career; one year, you lasted nearly 36 minutes, as Otunga goes right after Goldust.
JBL: You'd been in one, hadn't you, Michael?
Michael Cole: Yeah, last year, I lasted...
JBL: How long did you last?
Michael Cole: Almost two minutes.
JBL: Did anybody last less than you?
Michael Cole: Yes.
JBL: Who?
Michael Cole: Jerry "The King" Lawler.
JBL: How long did he last?
Michael Cole: Less than a minute.
JBL: You lasted longer than Jerry Lawler?
Michael Cole: Yes.
JBL: Wow. Did you beat him at WrestleMania too?
Michael Cole: Yes.
Jerry: Hey, listen. I've stopped listening, you can stop talking.

Michael Cole: Kofi just landed on Tensai's back! Kofi's still alive!
JBL: Wait a minute, Kofi's not disqualified!
Michael Cole: No, Kofi's still alive. [Tensai puts Kofi on the Spanish announce table] Kofi didn't hit the floor. Tensai...they gotta get Tensai out of here.
Jerry Now what's Kofi gonna do?
Michael Cole: Oh, he's in a predicated now because Kofi's not been eliminated. But how the hell can Kofi Kingston get back to the ring? It's impossible.
JBL: He's like a bird when the world's on fire! Where do you land?! [Kofi is now standing on the table, considering jumping to the ring] What's he gonna do now?
Michael Cole: What did they use to do in Star Trek, teleport themselves? That's what Kofi'd better try to do here.
JBL: Jump! Jump, Carl Lewis, jump for it!
Jerry: I don't think there's anybody that's gonna beam...
JBL: He's gonna try! Jump for it!
Jerry: ...beam him all the way into the ring.
...
Kofi: [to JBL] The chair!
JBL: For what?
Kofi: Come on, just give me your chair!
JBL: Chair for what?
Michael Cole: Come on, just give him your chair. He wants it.
JBL: [getting up] I gotta see this. I've gotta see this. [JBL hands his chair to Kofi] I gotta see this! I gotta see this! This is gonna be good! I don't know what he's gonna do!
...
Michael Cole: Meanwhile, high drama, high drama building ringside.
JBL: [as Kofi stands on the chair] This is unbelievable!
Michael Cole: Kofi's not been eliminated. Kingston is still alive.
[Kofi starts jumping with the chair towards the ring]
JBL: I love it!
Jerry: Look at the referees staring Kofi down.
JBL: This is awesome! This is incredible!
Michael Cole: He's using the chair like a pogo stick!
JBL: I get an assist!
Michael Cole: Kofi Kingston, give the assist to Bradshaw...
[Kofi gets onto the ring apron and the referees give the safe signal]
JBL: That's the craziest thing I've ever seen!
Michael Cole: I can't believe it!
Jerry: Kofi's safe.
JBL: Kofi's still in the Rumble! Now give me my chair back!

JBL: [on entry #17: The Godfather, accompanied by two lovely ladies] From Vegas! He brought his Rat Pack!

[Ryback carries John Cena, who escapes and pushes Ryback...]
Jerry: Oh, whoa-whoa-whoa...
[...over the top rope to the floor, winning the Rumble]
Michael Cole: Ryback eliminated!
JBL: HE'S GONE! HE'S GONE!
Michael Cole: John Cena is going to WrestleMania!
Justin Roberts: The winner of the Royal Rumble: John Cena!
Jerry: John Cena has done it!
JBL: The 10-time WWE Champion is going back to the dance, to the main stage, to the grandest of them all, WrestleMania!
Michael Cole: John Cena has made history tonight. John Cena becomes only the fourth man to win two Royal Rumble matches.
[John points to the WrestleMania logo and the fireworks go off]
JBL: There was Austin, there was Shawn Michaels, there was Hogan, and now there's Cena!

Jerry: I think we are gonna see the most electrifying move in all of sports!
Michael Cole: Look at the people! Look at the people!
Jerry: That's because it's the People's Elbow!
[Just before The Rock can hit the Elbow, the entire arena goes dark. The following is unseen]
JBL: What's happening?
Michael Cole: What the... who the hell?! Wait a minute! Someone's destroying our announce table! Who the hell is that?! They're attacking Rock! Holy cow, King! King, look at who that is! Oh, my God, it's The Shield!
Jerry: No!
Michael Cole: The Shield! The Shield! That was The Shield! And they just triple-powerbombed Rock through the table! [The lights come back on, revealing The Rock laid out on the dismantled announce table, CM Punk lying in the ring] Ladies and gentlemen, th...King, that was The Shield!
JBL: The referee didn't see it! The referee doesn't see it! He has no idea The Shield did that! He's got no idea!
Michael Cole: Chioda, that was The Shield!
JBL: Shut up, you stooge!
Michael Cole: I think they did something to the referee too! I think The Shield did something to the referee!

Michael Cole: It was The Shield! The Shield was out here, Punk, and put the guy through the table!
CM Punk: Who?
Michael Cole: The Shield, that's who!
CM Punk: I have nothing to do with The Shield!

JBL: Day 435 will be tomorrow for CM Punk! Admit it now, Michael! He's the best in the world!
Justin Roberts: The winner of this match and still WWE Champion: CM Punk!
Michael Cole: This is absolutely horrendous!
JBL: It's all fair, Michael, in love and war! CM Punk is the best in the world! Now would you please acknowledge...
Jerry: No, we're gonna acknowledge it.
Michael Cole: How is that fair?! We watched The Shield, three feet away from us, walk out here and triple-bomb The Rock through a table!
JBL: Michael, I saw the exact same thing you saw! Michael Chioda, the referee, didn't see it! CM Punk is about to leave the Royal Rumble Champion!
Jerry: So you're saying it's not cheating if you don't get caught.
JBL: That is ex...oh, you're one to talk, King!

Mr. McMahon: Seems to me that, CM Punk, your celebration is over! I told you if The Shield got involved in your match-up, we would strip you of the Championship!
Michael Cole: Yeah! Yeah!
Mr. McMahon: Oh, I know! I know, technically, we couldn't see The Shield involved, right? So that means we're all stupid, it wasn't The Shield? CM Punk, it is my duty as Chairman of the Board...
Jerry: Oh boy. Yeah!
JBL: Oh, shut up, cheerleader.
Jerry: Oh boy!
Mr. McMahon: ...to officially...
The Rock: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We ain't ending this night like that. You don't take it from him. I am. Restart the match now!
CM Punk: This match is over!
Mr. McMahon: You heard the man, restart the match!
Michael Cole: That's why The Rock's the People's Champion! Give the people what they want! Give them a conclusion!

Michael Cole: This is vintage Rock!
Jerry: Here it comes! Another People's Elbow! [Rock hits the Elbow on Punk] Yes!
JBL: What do you gotta do to beat this guy?!
Michael Cole: The cover, hook of the leg. [Chioda counts to three] THE ROCK HAS DONE IT! THE ROCK HAS DONE IT! THE ROCK HAS DONE IT!
Justin Roberts: The winner of this match...and NEW WWE Champion: The Rock!
Michael Cole: The ten-year wait is over!
JBL: Unbelievable!
Michael Cole: The Rock is again People's Champion!
JBL: Ten years, just like Muhammad Ali came back and won the World Championship, The Rock, the Great One!

2014[edit]

Jerry: [on Bray Wyatt's backwards crab walk] This freak needs an exorcist.
JBL: Yeah. Linda Blair.
Jerry: She was not the Exorcist.
Michael Cole: No, she was the one that needed to be exorcised. That was so long ago, I don't think anyone remembers. That was, like, the early 70s.

Fans: [chant during the Bryan-Wyatt match] THIS IS AWESOME!

Renee Young: Randy, tonight you put your championship on the line against John Cena. I mean, this is a man that is...
Randy: This is a man, Renee, that I've beaten. But you already know that, everybody knows that. But after tonight, when I beat him again, John Cena goes to the back of the line.
Renee: That's actually an interesting choice of words, Randy, 'cause right now, it seems that there's quite a line formed to challenge you for your championship. Brock Lesnar's made it clear that he wants to come after your championship; Batista now back in WWE after being gone for four years, he wants a shot at your championship. If you retain your title tonight, the winner of the Royal Rumble will go on to face you at WrestleMania. And now with Bray Wyatt fresh off of his victory over Daniel Bryan, he's now thrown his hat into the ring.
Randy: Renee, Renee, when you're on top of the mountain, people are gonna want a shot. That's just how this business works, that's why that line is forming. But no one's gonna touch me. See, Brock Lesnar, Dave Batista, they're good, but they're not great...like me. Bray Wyatt? I mean, he's a Duck Dynasty reject, for God's sakes. He's definitely not "face of the WWE" material, like me. I'm the true face, the one and only face. It's not Brock, Batista, CM Punk or Daniel Bryan, and it certainly isn't that deranged hillbilly who sits in a rocking chair every once in a while. No, and I'm gonna make sure tonight that once and for all, everyone knows that it is definitely not John Cena either.

[Chants during the Cena-Orton match]
Fans: DANIEL BRYAN!
RANDY SAVAGE!
Y2J!
YOU BOTH SUCK!
THIS IS AWFUL!
WE WANT DIVAS!
[after the Wyatt Family's interference costs Cena the match] THANK YOU, WYATT!

Bray Wyatt: Behold the creators of the new world!

Michael Cole: Kofi Kingston on the barricade. Kofi Kingston went over the top rope, guys, but remember he's not been eliminated.
JBL: That's right, Kofi Kingston's still in it.
Michael Cole: Kofi Kingston has been a highlight reel of spectacular moves in the past...
Jerry: Guys, guys, come on, he's a mile away from the ring.
JBL: He is that.
Jerry: I know he's not out, but he might as well be.
JBL: Last year, he borrowed my chair.
[Kofi walks back on the barricade]
Michael Cole: What is Kofi gonna do here?
JBL: He'll do what he can do. What's he trying to do?
Jerry: I don't think he can fly.
JBL: He can't fly. This is impossible.
Michael Cole: Kofi King...
[Kofi runs on the barricade and leaps onto the ring and re-enters]
Michael Cole and JBL: YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!
Jerry: WHAT?!
JBL: Kofi Kingston just turned into Bob Beamon
Michael Cole: He's hopped on chairs, he's walked on his hands, he's used a human bridge.
JBL: Unbelievable!
Michael Cole: [cont'd] He's leaped from the barricade to the ring. He's the Royal Rumble Highlight Reel!
Jerry: Guys, I just said he can't fly, but I believe he can.

JBL: [after the buzzer sounds for entry #20] Los Matadores! Which one, though?
Michael Cole: Diego and Fernando. And of course, [El Torito charges through their capes] they brought the bull. [El Torito charges to the ring] Hey, wait a minute! El Torito is in the Rumble?!
Jerry: I think he is!

JBL: [after Fandango nails El Torito in the head] PETA's gonna be upset about that. You can't abuse a bull. I hear Mantaur's his grandfather.

Jerry: JBL, you seem to know all your Royal Rumble facts. Has somebody won from every position of entering?
JBL: No, they haven't. #6, #7, #9, #10, there's a few spots that nobody has won.
Michael Cole: You have way too much time on your hands.
JBL: It's called research, guys. It's what I do.
Jerry: He knows Willie Nelson's middle name.

Fans: [after all participants had entered the Rumble] DANIEL BRYAN!

Michael Cole: It's a Roman Reigns moment. Is it his night? [Reigns flings Batista, but Batista reverses and tosses Reigns out, winning the Rumble] Roman Reigns eliminated! Batista's going to WrestleMania!
Justin: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the 2014 Royal Rumble: Batista!
Michael Cole: Batista is going to headline WrestleMania XXX for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship!
JBL: What a showing, though, by Roman Reigns. 13 Superstars eliminated by that one man.

External links[edit]

Wikipedia
Wikipedia has an article about: