Saturday Night Live

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Saturday Night Live (SNL) is a weekly late night 90-minute American comedy-variety show based in New York City which has been broadcast by NBC on Saturday nights since October 11, 1975. It is one of the longest-running network entertainment programs in American television history. Each week, the show's cast is joined by a guest host and a musical act.

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Contents

[edit] Opening

  • Live, from New York, it's Saturday Night!

[edit] Season 1

[edit] George Carlin/Janis Ian & Billy Preston [1.01]

English teacher: I want you to feed your fingertips.
Foreigner: I vant you to feed your fingerteeps.
English teacher: To the wolverines.
Foreigner: To the volver-eenes.
George Carlin: Thank you! Talk about a live show! It's nice to see you, welcome, and thanks for joining us- live! Um... I'm kinda glad that we're on at night, so that we're not competing with all the football and baseball. So many, man... and this is the time of year when there's both, you know? Football's kinda nice, they changed it a little bit- they moved the hash marks in. Guys found it and smoked them, anyway! But you know, football wants to be the number-one sport, the national pastime. And I think it already is, really, because football represents something we are- we are Europe Junior. When you get right down to it, we're Europe Junior. We play a Europe game. What was the Europe game? (high voice) "Let's take their land away from them! You'll be the pink, on up; we'll be blue, the red and the green!" Ground acquisition. And that's what football is, football's a ground acquisition game. You knock the crap out of eleven guys and take their land away from them. Of course, we only do it ten yards at a time. That's the way we did it with the Indians- we won it little by little. First down in Ohio, Midwest to go!
George Carlin: The term Jumbo Shrimp has always amazed me. What is a Jumbo Shrimp? I mean, it's like Military Intelligence- the words don't go together, man.
George Carlin: Did you ever dial the phone and forget who you're calling? Don't you feel dumb? You don't know whether to hang on and hope you remember the voice or not.. Then when you remember who it was, you have to call back, so you change your voice so they don't think you're a moron.
Chevy Chase: Our top story tonight: dedication ceremonies for the new Teamsters Union Headquarters building took place today in Detroit, where Union President Fitzsimmons was reported to have said that former President Jimmy Hoffa will always be a cornerstone in the organization.
Chevy Chase: (President) Ford was on the campaign trail, announcing in Detroit that he had written his own campaign slogan. The slogan: "If He's So Dumb, How Come He's President?"

[edit] Paul Simon/Art Garfunkel, Randy Newman, Phoebe Snow, Jesse Dixon Singers [1.02]

Chevy Chase: Good evening, I’m Chevy Chase, here to keep you up on what’s going down! President Ford’s regular weekly accident took place this week in Hartford, Connecticut, where Ford’s Lincoln was hit by a Buick. Alert Secret Service Agents seized the Buick and wrestled it to the ground. The president was unhurt except for putting his thumb in his eye. Alert Secret Service Agents seized the thumb and wrestled it to the ground.
Paul Simon: [to Marv Albert before his match with Connie Hawkins] I've gotta stay with my strengths, basically... singing and songwriting.

[edit] Rob Reiner/Joe Cocker (John Bellushi) [1.03]

[edit] Candice Bergen/Esther Phillips [1.04]

President Ford: My fellow Americans... ladies and gentlemen.. members of the press... and my immediate family. First, may I thank you all for being here. And I am in my immediate family. First, may I thank you all for being here. And I am in my immediate family. Thank you all for being here, and I am truly honored to be asked by you to open the "Saturday Night" show with Harvey Cosell.
Chevy Chase: Good evening, I'm Chevy Chase and you're not.

[edit] Robert Klein/ABBA, Loudon Wainwright III [1.05]

Chevy Chase: And now, as a public service to those of our viewers who have difficulty with their hearing, I will repeat the top story of the day, aided by the Headmaster of the New York School for the Hard of Hearing, Garrett Morris. Our top story tonight...
Garrett Morris: OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT!!!
Chevy Chase: President Ford flew to Paris for a summit conference, and boy, are his arms tired!
Garrett Morris: PRESIDENT FORD FLEW TO PARIS FOR A SUMMIT CONFERENCE, AND BOY, ARE HIS ARMS TIRED!!!
Chevy Chase: Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow.
Garrett Morris: GOOD NIGHT, AND HAVE A PLEASANT TO-MOR-ROW!
Chevy Chase: Secretary of State Henry Kissinger has been cited for contempt of Congress! Kissinger commented, “So what? Congress has at least as much contempt for me as I do for him. Besides, Nixon lied, didn’t he? And he gets to sunbathe while I get terminal jet lag.”
Chevy Chase: A new book has been published and released, and it’s entitled, “Friends of Richard Nixon.” A short work, it is only one page longer than the work, “Famous Antarctic Television Personalities of the Eighteenth Century.” Of his former boss, President Ford said, “Well, I spent most of the week reading it, finding it challenging in its scope.”
Chevy Chase: The United States... hold it... The United Nations General Assembly passed a resolution equating Zionism with racism. Black entertainer Sammy Davis, Jr., a convert to Judaism, was quoted as saying: “What a breakthrough! Now, finally, I can hate myself!”

[edit] Lily Tomlin/Howard Shore and His All Nurse Band [1.06]

Chevy Chase: The FCC announced today that for every Ford commercial run on television, a minute of an old Ronald Reagan film must be shown. As a result of this action, a spokesman for George Wallace responded by demanding equal time by showing one minute of "Ironsides."
Chevy Chase: Later, Mr. Ford pierced his left hand with a salad fork at a luncheon celebrating Tuna Salad Day at the White House. Alert Secret Service agents seized the fork and wrestled it to the ground.
Chevy Chase: Good evening. I'm Chevy Chase, and you're not. The top story tonight: The Senate Intelligence Committee has revealed that the CIA has been involved in no less than nine assassination plots against various foreign leaders. Commented President Ford upon reading the report, quote, "Boy, I'm sure glad I'm not foreign."
Lily Tomlin: Being a New Yorker means never having to say you're sorry.

[edit] Richard Pryor/Gil-Scott Heron [1.07]

Richard Pryor: How you doin'? Thank you very much for coming here to New York. Uh, hope I'm funny. I'd like to dedicate this to, uh, show to Miles Davis, my friend. He's in the hospital, sick. But he's cool. Miles always gets women, though, 'cause he talks so cool. You know, Miles go: [scratchy whisper]' "What's happenin'?" I get women, too. I can't keep 'em but I get 'em. Women always leave me, man! I don't mind 'em leavin' but they tell you why. You know what I mean? Just leave! Don't tell me why! 'Cause there ain't nothin' you can do but stand there and look silly, right? You be ... [imitates a man standing there and looking silly: points to himself in surprise, shrugs helplessly, rolls his eyes, shakes his head in disbelief] And the madder you get, women get cool when you get mad. [as an angry man] "WELL, GO ON AND GET OUT THEN!" [as a cool, calm woman] "I'm leaving." [as the man] "I DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!" [as the woman] "Don't worry, you shan't."
Richard Pryor: Drive you to drink, jack, you know? I tried drinkin' for a while but I used to go into bars and check out the people that were drinkin' and they weren't happy. And they get beat up a lot. No -- drunks, they start out cool. Brother be cool at first and he goin': "Give me a Scotch and soda, please." Real cool. 'Bout a hour later: "WHAT?! WHAT YOU MEAN I'M DRUNK?! HUH? I wasn't drunk when I came in here! And I ain't gonna leave till I'm sober. Now, you can dig that, baby.
[During a word association exercise as part of a job interview]
Mr. Wilson: Tree.
Interviewer: Tree. Dog.
Mr. Wilson: Tree.
Interviewer: Fast.
Mr. Wilson: Slow.
Interviewer: Rain.
Mr. Wilson: Snow.
Interviewer: White.
Mr. Wilson: ...Black.
Interviewer: Bean.
Mr. Wilson: Pod.
Interviewer: Negro.
Mr. Wilson: Whitey(!).
Interviewer: Tarbaby.
Mr. Wilson: [pause] What'd you say?
Interviewer: Tarbaby.
Mr. Wilson: Okay.
Interviewer: Colored.
Mr. Wilson: Redneck.
Interviewer: Jungle bunny.
Mr. Wilson: Peckerwood!
Interviewer: Burrhead!
Mr. Wilson: Cracker!
Interviewer: Spearchucker!
Mr. Wilson: White trash!
Interviewer: Jungle Bunny!
Mr. Wilson: Honky!
Interviewer: Spade!
Mr. Wilson: ... Honky Honky!
Interviewer: Nigger!
Mr. Wilson: Dead honky!
Interviewer: Okay, Mr. Wilson, I think you're qualified for this job. How about a starting salary of $5,000?
Mr. Wilson: Your momma!
Interviewer: Uh.. $7,500 a year?
Mr. Wilson: Your grandmomma!
Interviewer: $15,000, Mr. Wilson. You'll be the highest paid janitor in America. Just, don't... don't hurt me, please...
Mr. Wilson: Okay.
Interviewer: Okay.
Mr. Wilson: You want me to start now?
Interviewer: Oh, no, no... that's alright. I'll clean all this up. Take a couple of weeks off, you look tired.
Chevy Chase: UNICEF fell under attack this week when Syria formally protested the charitable organization's new Christmas card, which says, in ten different languages, "Let's kill the Arabs and take their oil!"

[edit] Candice Bergen/The Stylistics, Martha Reeves [1.08]

Don Pardo: [voiceover] This is Don Pardo saying, oh oh oh! Whoops! I'm reading upside down!

[edit] Elliott Gould/Anne Murray [1.09]

Vito Corleone: The ASPCA is out to get me because of this horse thing.
Vito Corleone: Alright. The Tattaglia Family is moving in on my territory. They've taken over numbers, prostitution, and restaurant linen supply, and now they want to bring in drugs. Also, they just shot my son, Santino, fifty-six times.
Therapist: Ah! Now we are getting somewhere. What do you think about this?
Vito Corleone: Drugs, I am against.

[edit] Buck Henry/Bill Withers, Toni Basil [1.10]

Ron Nessen: Mr. President, you're signing your hand.
Gerald Ford: Come on in and sit down, Ron.
[Nessen gets up from his chair, walks out the door, shuts it, reopens it, walks back in and sits in the same chair]
Gerald Ford: Now what's this about a press conference, Ron?
Ron Nessen: You called it, Mr. President.
Gerald Ford: Called it what?
Ron Nessen: No, you called the press conference, Sir.
Gerald Ford: I see. [Looks over at Liberty] Heel, Liberty. [Looking back at Nessen] Sit down and make yourself comfortable, Ron.
Ron Nessen: I am sitting, Mr. President.
Gerald Ford: Ah! Then you must be comfortable.
Ron Nessen: Yes, Sir. Thank you.
Gerald Ford: I'm pretty comfortable myself.
Ron Nessen: That's good.
Gerald Ford: [Looks around the Oval Office] I just don't see what's so awful about this room, personally.
Ron Nessen: No, Sir, Oval. It's the Oval Office, sir.
Gerald Ford: Ah!
Ron Nessen: Not awful, Oval, round.
Chevy Chase: Another note on the Super Bowl: President Ford expressed regret that he won't join Mr. Kissinger in Miami tomorrow, saying he's flying to Boston for the first game of the World Series.

[edit] Peter Cook & Dudley Moore/Neil Sedaka [1.11]

[edit] Dick Cavett/Jimmy Cliff [1.12]

Chevy Chase: Well, the popular TV personality known as Professor Backwards was slained in Atlanta yesterday by three masked gunmen. According to reports, neighbors ignored the Professor's cries as 'Pleh, pleh!'

[edit] Peter Boyle/Al Jarreau [1.13]

[shortly after Emily Litella is about to finish her editorial replay against 'canker' research]
Chevy Chase: Uh, Emily?
Emily Litella: What?
Chevy Chase: I'm sorry, it's an editorial about cancer research, not canker sores.
Emily Litella: Ohhh! I never thought of that! Never mind!

[edit] Desi Arnaz/Desi Arnaz Jr. [1.14]

[edit] Jill Clayburgh/Leon Redbone, the Singing Idlers [1.15]

[edit] Anthony Perkins/Betty Carter [1.16]

[edit] Ron Nessen/Patti Smith [1.17]

Chevy Chase: Good evening, I'm Chevy Chase, and you're not!
[cut to film segment of real-life President Ford]
Gerald Ford: I'm Gerald Ford, and you're not.

[edit] Raquel Welch/Phoebe Snow, John Sebastian [1.18]

[edit] Madeline Kahn/Carly Simon [1.19]

Richard Nixon: [after watching Henry Kissinger leave the Oval Office] Jewboy! Jewboy! Jewboy!
Chevy Chase: Weekend Update recognizes its obligation to present responsible opposing viewpoints to out editorials. Here with an editorial reply is Miss Emily Litella. (Gilda Radner begins ranting about VIOLINS on television)

[edit] Dyan Cannon/Leon & Mary Russell [1.20]

Chevy Chase: Good evening, I'm Chevy Chase, and, that's the news, good night and have a pleasant tomorrow. Just kidding! And you're not.

[edit] Buck Henry/Gordon Lightfoot [1.21]

[edit] Elliott Gould/Leon Redbone, Harland Collins & Joyce Everson [1.22]

[edit] Louise Lasser/Preservation Hall Jazz Band [1.23]

[edit] Kris Kristofferson/Rita Coolidge [1.24]

Chevy Chase: The Smothers Brothers announced this week that they are splitting up. Dick Smothers says he want to spend more time with his family; Tommy will continue his career as soon as he breaks in a new brother.

[edit] Season 2

[edit] Lily Tomlin/James Taylor [2.01]

President Ford: I believe there were be no math in debates.
Chevy Chase: Good evening, I'm God! Let's take a look at tonight's top stories, shall we?
Chevy Chase: Ugandan dictator Idi Amin has decided to go under species change surgery. If the surgery was successful, he will take a career on American television. However, if the surgery is unsuccessful, he will eat American television.

[edit] Norman Lear/Boz Scaggs [2.02]

[edit] Eric Idle/Joe Cocker, Stuff [2.03]

[edit] Karen Black/John Prine [2.04]

[edit] Steve Martin/Kinky Friedman [2.05]

[edit] Buck Henry/The Band [2.06]

[edit] Dick Cavett/Ry Cooder [2.07]

[edit] Paul Simon/George Harrison [2.08]

[edit] Jodie Foster/Brian Wilson [2.09]

[edit] Candice Bergen/Frank Zappa [2.10]

[edit] Ralph Nader/George Benson [2.11]

[edit] Ruth Gordon/Chuck Berry [2.12]

[edit] Fran Tarkenton/Leo Sayer [2.13]

[edit] Steve Martin/The Kinks [2.14]

[edit] Sissy Spacek/Richard Baskin [2.15]

[edit] Broderick Crawford/Dr. John, The Meters [2.16]

[edit] Jack Burns/Santana [2.17]

[edit] Julian Bond/Tom Waits, Brick [2.18]

[edit] Elliott Gould/Kate & Ann McGarigle [2.19]

[edit] Eric Idle/Neil Innes [2.20]

[edit] Shelley DuVall/Joan Armatrading [2.21]

[edit] Buck Henry/Jennifer Warnes, Kenny Vance [2.22]

[edit] Season 3

[edit] Steve Martin/Jackson Browne [3.01]

Jorge Festrunk: [Czech accent] We're two wild and crazy guys!

[edit] Madeline Kahn/Taj Mahal [3.02]

[edit] Hugh Hefner/Liddy Titus [3.03]

[edit] Charles Grodin/Paul Simon [3.04]

[Beginning of Weekend Update]
Don Pardo: [voiceover] And now, Weekend Update with Chevy Chase!
Jane Curtin and Dan Aykroyd: [shocked] What?!
Don Pardo: [voiceover] [apologetic] Sorry, old script.

[edit] Ray Charles [3.05]

[edit] Buck Henry/Leon Redbone [3.06]

[edit] Mary Kay Place/Willie Nelson [3.07]

[edit] Miskel Spillman/Elvis Costello [3.08]

[edit] Steve Martin/Randy Newman, The Dirt Band [3.09]

[edit] Robert Klein/Bonnie Raitt [3.10]

[edit] Chevy Chase/Billy Joel [3.11]

[On Weekend Update, while Emily Litella is telling Chevy Chase that she missed him, Jane Curtin is not happy]
Jane Curtin: [angrily] Emily?! What are you doing here?! SCRAM!
Emily Litella: Oh, go to hell, Miss Clayton.

[edit] O.J. Simpson/Ashford & Simpson [3.12]

[while the credits are rolling as O.J. Simpson and the cast waving good night, Don Pardo's voice chimes in.]
Don Pardo: [voiceover] Next week, watch NBC's Weekend with Lloyd Dobbyns. We'll be back live on March 11, when our host will be Art Garfunkel, with musical guest Stephen Bishop and special guest Andy Kaufman. This is O.J. Pardo. The O.J. as in, Only Joking. Good night.

[edit] Art Garfunkel/Stephen Bishop [3.13]

[edit] Jill Clayburgh/Eddie Money [3.14]

[edit] Christopher Lee/Meat Loaf [3.15]

[edit] Michael Palin/Eugene Record [3.16]

[edit] Michael Sarazzin/Gravity [3.17]

[edit] Steve Martin/The Blues Brothers [3.18]

Dan Aykroyd: This just in, Garrett Morris is dead. A group of 8 youths has fatally shot the late Update correspondant at the kids' playground. Another paraquat-related death.
Jane Curtin: Hoping your news is good news. Good night and have a pleasant tomorrow.

[edit] Richard Dreyfuss/Jimmy Buffett, Gary Tigerman [3.19]

[edit] Buck Henry/Sun Ra [3.20]

[edit] Season 4

[edit] The Rolling Stones [4.01]

[edit] Fred Willard/Devo [4.02]

[edit] Frank Zappa [4.03]

[edit] Steve Martin/Van Morrison [4.04]

Steve Martin:(enters with a clamp on his head) I do not feel well tonight. I woke up this morning with a splitting headache. It was though my heads was in a vice! I though it would go away, but it hasn't. I took some aspirin-it meant nothing. I decided to continue with the show, anyway. Pardon me. What? There's a clamp on my head? Aha! Those Saturday Night people! They didn't even TELL me! I went through makeup and everything and nobody said a WORD!

[edit] Buck Henry/The Grateful Dead [4.05]

[edit] Carrie Fisher/The Blues Brothers [4.06]

[edit] Walter Matthau [4.07]

[Richard Nixon showed his family his new political slogan that promotes his reformed personality]
Richard Nixon: "The New Dick!" It will be great and beautiful and everybody are willing to see it!
Pat Nixon: It's great. It's beautiful. But I don't think everyone will see it.

[edit] Eric Idle/Kate Bush [4.08]

[edit] Elliott Gould/Peter Tosh, Mick Jagger [4.09]

[edit] Michael Palin/The Doobie Brothers [4.10]

[edit] Cicely Tyson/Talking Heads [4.11]

[edit] Ricky Nelson/Judy Collins [4.12]

[edit] Kate Jackson/Delbert McClinton [4.13]

[edit] Gary Busey/Eubie Blake & Gregory Hines [4.14]

[edit] Margot Kidder/The Chieftains [4.15]

Fred Garvin: Call me... Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute.
[Shows title card while 20's sex music played over it]
Bill Murray: So if you're a Rhesus Monkey and you want to donate your body to science, please hop in the box and sent yourself to "Rhesus Roundup, San Simian, California."

[edit] Richard Benjamin/Rickie Lee Jones [4.16]

[At the cast members' locker room while preparing for the show to start, Jane Curtin and Dan Aykroyd has a conversation on John Belushi's absence]
Jane Curtin: I heard that John Belushi was still in California, was is he doing, 8 to 10 for possession?
Dan Aykroyd: Uh, no. I think he is quite sick. He has an ear infection. He can't go on a plane or his eardrum will burst.
Jane Curtin: I hope he didn't catch it listening to himself sing. I'll see you Dan.
Dan Aykroyd: Sure.
[Jane exits]

[edit] Milton Berle/Ornett Coleman [4.17]

[edit] Michael Palin/James Taylor [4.18]

[edit] Maureen Stapleton/Linda Ronstadt & Phoebe Snow [4.19]

[edit] Buck Henry/Bette Midler [4.20]

[edit] Season 5

[edit] Steve Martin/Blondie [5.01]

[edit] Eric Idle/Bob Dylan [5.02]

[edit] Bill Russell/Chicago [5.03]

Jane Curtin: Miss Lillian Carter removes her makeup. This and other stories coming up on Weekend Update next.

[edit] Buck Henry/Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers [5.04]

[edit] Bea Arthur/The Roches [5.05]

[edit] Howard Hesseman/Randy Newman [5.06]

[edit] Martin Sheen/David Bowie [5.07]

[edit] Ted Knight/Desmond Child & Rouge [5.08]

[edit] Teri Garr/The B-52's [5.09]

[edit] Chevy Chase/Marianne Faithfull [5.10]

[edit] Elliott Gould/Gary Numan [5.11]

[edit] Kirk Douglas/Sam & Dave [5.12]

[edit] Rodney Dangerfield/J. Geils Band [5.13]

[edit] (hostless)/Paul Simon, James Taylor & David Sanborn [5.14]

[edit] Richard Benjamin & Paula Prentiss/The Grateful Dead [5.15]

[edit] Burt Reynolds/Anne Murray [5.16]

[edit] Strother Martin/The Specials [5.17]

[edit] Bob Newhart/The Amazing Rhythm Aces, Bruce Cockburn [5.18]

Al Franken: The top ten shows for the 1979-1980 television season included some A's, some B's, some C's, and some S's. Did you see any N's? No. Not one N. Why? Because Silverman is a lame-o! And I heard he has a nice limosine service. I like to call it "A Limo for a Lame-o."
[after Mr. Bill was caught trying to escape]
Mr. Hands: Uh oh, they see you. And the warden (Sluggo) says that you are surrounded. So stand up and reach for the sky.
Mr. Bill: [still trapped in rubble] No wait! I'm stuck! So don't shoot, okay?
[prison firing squad don't believe him and fires shots under Warden Sluggo's orders anyways]
Mr. Bill: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! They shot me! Ohhhhhhhhhhh!
[The firing squad shoot spells the words "THE END" over Mr. Bill's body]
Mr. Hands: Bye bye!

[edit] Steve Martin/3-D, Paul & Linda McCartney [5.19]

Father Guido Sarraduchi: (outside Paul McCartney's den) Well, the pence hitting the window didn't work. My serenading didn't even work, but I know THIS is going to work. Rock. (Throws a rock at the window-the lights turn on). That's an old gossip columnist trick. Miss Roland taught me that one. Works every time. He'll be out-I know it. (Paul comes out) Here he comes and this is it if you can believe it!

[edit] Buck Henry/Andrew Gold, Andrae Crouch & The Voices of Unity [5.20]

[edit] Season 6

[edit] Elliott Gould/Kid Creole & The Coconuts [6.01]

Charles Rocket: Meanwhile, actor Cary Grant today, slapped former Weekend Update anchorman Chevy Chase, with a $10 million defamination suit, for allegally calling him a "homosexual" on NBC-TV's "Tomorrow" show. Grant charges that Chase's remarks were completely and totally false, and added, "He's the homo, not me. And one more crack like that and I'll scratch his eyes out, Mary!"
Elliott Gould: Well, the- the network, uh, has asked me to, uh- to extend the invitation to the President-Elect, his family, and all of you out there to eat as much Creole and Coconuts as you can. And, uh- [turns to each cast member] this is Gail.. and that's Denny, and Ann.. and.. this is Gil, and Joe, and, uh.. [Charles raised his hand] Charles. And uh.. we're gonna be around forever, so I hope we can... keep on coming back.

[edit] Malcolm McDowell/Captain Beefheart and His Magic Band [6.02]

[edit] Charlene Tilton/Todd Rundgren, Prince [6.11]

[During the goodnights, Charles Rocket is in his wheelchair with a bandage on the wound of his neck]
Charlene Tilton: Charlie, how do you feel when you got shot?
Charles Rocket: [muttering] Oh man, I have been shot through my entire life. I like to know who the fuck did that?
[The cast responded with a mix of shock and laughter to the curse word]
Charlene Tilton: Okay!

[edit] Bill Murray/Delbert McClinton [6.12]

[edit] Season 7

[edit] Season 8

[edit] Season 9

[edit] Season 10

[edit] Season 11

[edit] Season 12

[edit] Season 13

[edit] Season 14

[edit] Season 15

[edit] Season 16

[edit] Season 17

[edit] Season 18

[edit] Season 19

[edit] Season 20

[edit] Season 35

[edit] Ryan Reynolds/Lady Gaga [35.2]

MTV4 Skit (Lady Gaga and Madonna)

Madonna: What the hell is a discostick?
Lady Gaga: (singing) I think you know.
DJ Dynasty Handbag: I want you two to behave
Lady Gaga: Ok we'll try.
Lady Gaga: Hey guess what Madonna...I'm totally hotter than you.
Madonna: Hey guess what (hits Lady Gaga's head) I'm totally taller than you. And what kinda of a name is Lady Gaga? It sounds like baby food.
Lady Gaga: The kind that's #1 on the Billboard charts (attacks Madonna)
DJ Dynasty Handbag: I said behave beotches
Madonna: You better stop interrupting us
Lady Gaga: Yeah we're pop icons Respect (gives Madonna a high 5)

(Lady Gaga and Madonna start to fight again)

DJ Dynasty Handbag: I want you two to kiss and make up
Madonna: Ok
Lady Gaga: Excellent
Madonna: You made my ring come off
Lady Gaga: Sorry
DJ Dynasty Handbag: Kiss each other

(about to kiss then DJ Dynasty Handbag gets in between them.

[edit] External links

Wikipedia
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