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Short Circuit is a 1986 comedy science fiction film about a robot, #5, who short circuits during a thunderstorm and escapes from Nova Robotics. He has been designed as a weapon, and his designer Newton Crosby (played by Steve Guttenberg) and the others at Nova are concerned he might be dangerous. Meanwhile, #5 is being protected by Stephanie Speck (played by Ally Sheedy).
- Number 5... is alive!
- Malfunction! Need input!
- No disassemble!
- Attractive. Nice software!
- Squash, dead. Disassemble, dead. Disassemble...! [panics] DEAD!!
- Frankie, ya broke the unwritten law. Ya ratted on your friends. You do that, Frankie, your enemies don't respect ya. You got no friends no more. You got nobody, Frankie. [normal voice] Pretty good, huh?
- Jerk of the world, turkey, idiot, pain in the ass!
- Colt 45, semi-automatic. [crushes colt] Clay dough.
- [sees Number 5 in her truck at night] Oh, my God! I knew they'd pick me. I just knew it!
- Originally I had non-military purposes in mind. I designed it as a marital aid.
- [tells a joke to Number 5] There's a priest, a minister, and a rabbi. They're out playing golf, and they're trying to decide how much to give to charity. So the priest says, "We'll draw a circle on the ground, we'll throw the money way up in the air, and whatever lands inside the circle, we give to charity." The minster says no. "We'll draw a circle on the ground, throw the money way up in the air, and whatever lands outside of the circle, that's what we'll give to charity." The rabbi says "No, no, no. We'll throw the money way up in the air, and whatever God wants, he keeps!"
- Maybe we have created another Frankfurter's monster.
- [to Crosby] Hi, honey. What is for dinner?
- [to Stephanie] Bye-bye, goofy woman. I enjoyed repeatedly throwing you to the ground.
- I am standing here beside myself.
- Eat my dust, Newton Crosby. Let us break wind! [retreats]
- Skroeder: [about Number 5, who is malfunctioning] Maybe it's pissed off.
- Crosby: It's a machine, Skroeder. It doesn't get pissed off. It doesn't get happy, it doesn't get sad, it doesn't laugh at your jokes.
- Ben and Crosby: It just runs programs.
- Howard: It usually runs programs.
- Crosby: Where are you from, anyway?
- Ben: Bakersfield, originally.
- Crosby: No, I mean your ancestors.
- Ben: Oh, them. Pittsburgh.
- [when Crosby and Ben take Number 1 to find Number 5]
- Howard: Great. So, instead of $11,000,000 on the loose, we'll have 22,000,000.
- Ben: Also we are needing gas money.
- Ben: Wouldn't you like to be a Pepper, too?
- Number 5: Wouldn't you like to be a Pepper, too?
- Something wonderful has happened...No. 5 is alive.
- Life is not a malfunction.