Shortpacked! is a webcomic written and drawn by David Willis. It is an autobiographical comic set in a toy store, using characters from some of the cartoonist's other comics, such as Roomies and It's Walky. Shortpacked! began in 2005 and updates five days a week.
- Ethan: Doesn't anybody care about what Megatron wants?
- Robin: Ya got more ponies than the Indy 500.
- Ethan: You know you've been on the computer too much when you wonder which cheap Photoshop filter was used to make the pretty clouds in the sky.
- Ethan: You're the reason why we have correctional facilities.
- Mike: There's a mugged leprechaun at the end of every rainbow.
- Ethan: This is a coffee house. We pay extra to be hated.
- Faz: You are no doubt ansconding to your girlfriends to gossip about the exotic allure of my uncircumscized penis. Success?
- Galasso: Will no one flood my daughter with sperm?
- Robin: Can there be spankings?
- Ninja Rick: Do they not realize that to be truly ninja you must speak "-chan" after every other noun??
- Conquest: Why does my father believe I harbor some manner of pillow fetish?
- Ultra Car: What an insane world I live in, said the talking automobile.
- Robin: Dora the Explorer tastes like brain damage.
- Mike: They're all dressed the same and praying. I think they're a cult. Can I set them on fire?
- Amber: Do you have any idea how much paperwork there is if you kill Mike on the clock?! And I'm gonna have to fill it all out!
- Ultra Car: It's repeatable, sloppy, it denigrates the other party, and it feels great. I wonder if this is what sex is like.
- Ethan: And I can't believe everyone's fancy makeovers happened while the gay guy was gone.
- Ethan: Every half hour I have to go back to my store and make sure Faz is wearing pants.
- Leslie: I think I prefer my evil to be unapologetic.
- Ethan: Enjoying our job is clearly forbidden in our handbook.
- Robin: I totally just had one of those awesome eighties movie montages!
- Robin: I picked the wrong day to start drinking dish detergent.
- Ethan: Give me a moment so that I may appear conflicted.