Shrek the Third

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Shrek the Third (called Shrek 3 in early production, not to be confused with Shrek 3-D) is the second sequel to Shrek. It was released on May 18, 2007.


  • Listen, Artie, eh, if you think this whole mad scene ain't dope, I feel you, dude. I mean, I'm not trying to get up in your grill, or raise your roof or whatever. But what I am screaming is, "Yo! Check out this kazing thazing, bazaby!" I mean, if it doesn't groove, or what I'm saying ain't straight tripping, just say, "Oh, no, you didn't! You know, you're getting on my last nerve." And then, I'll know it's...then I'll, I'll know it's whack!
  • [While Artie begs to Merlin to take them back] Have a heart, old man.
  • If Artie trusts him, that's good enough for me. Even if his robe doesn't quite cover his-
  • [out of nowhere looking at Prince Charming] Break a leg, or on second thought let me break it for you.


  • [singing to Shrek and Fiona] Good morning... good morning... to you and you and you.
  • [after seeing the villains, with Captain Hook on a piano] Look out! They got a piano!
  • (discovering Shrek nude in bed) AAAAH!! You know, you really need to get yourself a pair of jammies!
  • [at the end of Shrek's dream sequence, with an ogre baby head] Dada.
  • [Donkey and Puss have just switched bodies] How in the Hans Christen Andersen am I supposed to parade around in these goofy boots?!


  • [to Shrek ] Please don't eat me.
  • [after Shrek tries to talk to him with clichéd teenager lingo] SOMEBODY, HELP! I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED BY A MONSTER WHO'S TRYING TO RELATE TO ME!!


  • Captain: Land Ho! [as ship crashes into island]
  • Snow White: Everybody keep calm... WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!! [before getting slapped by Doris]
  • Captain Hook: Avast, ye cookie. Start talking.
  • Gingy: The only thing you'll ever be king of is King of the Stupids!
  • Dwarf: [drunk] Hey, watch it! I'm walking here and I'm gonna keep going until...


Doris: You poor sweet things.
Cinderella: I don't get it.
Snow White: The cat turned into a little horse that smells like feet... What's to get?

Doris: I know he's a jerk and all but I gotta admit that Charming makes me hotter than July.
Princesses: EW!

Snow White: I'm sorry, but this isn't working for me!
Sleeping Beauty: [while being carried by Doris] Everything's always about you, isn't it? It's not like your attitude is helping, Snow.
Snow White: Well, maybe it just bothers you that I was voted fairest in the land!
Rapunzel: You mean in that rigged election?
Snow White: Oh, give me a break. [dreamy voice] "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, [sarcastic voice] let down thy golden extensions."
Queen Lillian: Ladies, let go of your petty complaints and let's work together.

[Rapunzel has betrayed the princesses in order to be with Prince Charming]
Charming: Say hello to the new queen of Far Far Away!
Cinderella: Yay! [claps]
[Awkward pause]
Fiona: Rapunzel, how could you?
Rapunzel: Jealous much?

Snow White: Right! Ladies, assume the position!
[Sleeping Beauty falls asleep, Snow White lies down in her coffin pose, and Cinderella seats herself on the floor gazing dreamily into space.]
Princess Fiona: What are you doing?
Sleeping Beauty: [Snaps awake] Waiting to be rescued. [falls back asleep]

Shrek: [looking at Artie talking with princesses] See, what'd I tell ya? The kid's gonna make a great king.
Fiona: For what it's worth, you would have too.
Shrek: [rubs Fiona's stomach] I have something much more important in mind.

Captain Hook: [looming over a young boy threateningly with his hook] Well, well, well. If it isn't Peter Pan!
Boy's Mother: His name's not Peter!
Captain Hook: Shut it, Wendy.

Donkey: Wor-ces-ter-shiree? Now, that sounds fancy!
Shrek : It's Worcestershire.
Donkey: Like the sauce? Mmmmm. IT'S SPICY!

Artie: [To Shrek] Please don't eat me.
Students and Teacher: [chanting] Eat him, eat him...
Shrek: I'm not here to eat him!
Students and Teacher: Aww...
Shrek: It's time to pack up your toothbrush and jammies. You're the new king of Far Far Away.
Artie: What?

Gingy: I hate dinner theatre!
Pinocchio: Me too. [nose grows]

Rapunzel: But pooky, you said you wouldn't hurt them.
Prince Charming: Not here, kitten whiskers. Daddy will discuss it later.

Prince Charming: You! You can't lie. So tell me, puppet... Where... is... Shrek?
Pinocchio: Uh. Hmm, well, uh, I don't know where he's not.
Prince Charming: You're telling me you don't know where Shrek is?
Pinocchio: It wouldn't be inaccurate to assume that I couldn't exactly not say that it is or isn't almost partially incorrect.
Prince Charming: So you *do* know where he is!
Pinocchio: On the contrary, I'm possibly more or less not definitely rejecting the idea that in no way with any amount of uncertainty that I undeniably...
Prince Charming: Stop it!
Pinocchio: or do not know where he shouldn't probably be, if that indeed wasn't where he isn't. Even if he wasn't at where I knew he was, that'd mean I'd really have to know where he wasn't.

Artie: [after guards try to kill them, Artie comes up with a plan] Don't you know who he thinks he is? How dare you!
Shrek: [playing along, acting like a spoiled celebrity] Donkey, we're dealing with amateurs.
Artie: He's a star, people! Hello? I'm so sorry about this, Mr. Shrek.
Shrek: I'm gonna lose it! [before continuing trying to keep his cool]
Artie: I assume you have everything ready for tonight? You did get the list for the dressing room?
Puss In Boots: [playing along] Yeah, the breakfast croissants stuffed with seared sashimi tuna. [aggravated] Oh, and please tell me you at least got the saffron corn with jalapeño homey butter, 'cause our client cannot get into his properly emotional state without his jalapeño honey butter!
Shrek: I just lost it.
[Puss turns eyes at Shrek even more aggravated]
Guard: Perhaps we should talk to Nancy in Human Resources.
Donkey: Oh, we will have much to say to Nancy, I promise!

Puss In Boots: Alright people, Let's do this thing. Go, Team Dynamite!
Pinocchio: But I thought we agreed we'd go by the name Team Super-cool.
Gingy: As I recall, it was Team Awesome!
Wolf: I voted for Team Alpha Wolf Squadron.
Puss In Boots: Alright, Alright, Alright! From henceforth, we shall be known as Team Alpha-Super-Awesome-Cool-Dynamite-Wolf-Squadron.

Puss in Boots: [talking to a female cat] It's out of my hands, señorita. The winds of fate have blown on my destiny. But I will never forget you. You are the love of my life.
Female cat: Meeaow.
Puss in Boots: [very quickly] I gotta go!


Other characters[edit]

See Also[edit]


  • And They Lived Happily Never After.
  • He's In For The Royal Treatment.
  • The Wait Is Ogre.

External links[edit]

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