Shrek the Third

From Wikiquote
Jump to: navigation, search

Shrek the Third (called Shrek 3 in early production, not to be confused with Shrek 3-D) is the second sequel to Shrek. It was released on May 18, 2007.


  • Listen, Artie, eh, if you think this whole mad scene ain't dope, I feel you, dude. I mean, I'm not trying to get up in your grill, or raise your roof or whatever. But what I am screaming is, "Yo! Check out this kazing thazing, bazaby!" I mean, if it doesn't groove, or what I'm saying ain't straight tripping, just say, "Oh, no, you didn't! You know, you're getting on my last nerve." And then, I'll know it's...then I'll, I'll know it's whack!
  • [While Artie begs to Merlin to take them back] Have a heart, old man.
  • [out of nowhere looking at Prince Charming] Break a leg, or on second thought let me break it for you.


  • [singing to Shrek and Fiona] Good morning... good morning... to you and you and yooooou.
  • [after seeing the villains, with Captain Hook on a piano] Look out! They got a piano!
  • (discovering Shrek nude in bed) AAAAH!! You know, you really need to get yourself a pair of jammies.
  • [at the end of Shrek's dream sequence, with an ogre baby head] Dada.
  • [Donkey and Puss have just switched bodies] How in the Hans Christen Andersen did this happen?! I feel all exposed and nasty!


  • [to Shrek ] Please don't eat me!
  • [after Shrek tries to talk to him with clichéd teenager lingo] Somebody help! I've been kidnapped by a monster who's trying to relate to me!


  • Captain: Land Ho! [as ship crashes into island]
  • Snow White: Everybody keep calm... WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!! [before getting slapped by Doris]
  • Captain Hook: Avast, ye cookie. Start talking.
  • Gingy: The only thing you'll ever be king of is King of the Stupids!


Doris: You poor sweet things.
Cinderella: I don't get it.
Snow White: The cat turned into a little horse that smells like feet... What's to get?

Doris: I know he's a jerk and all but I gotta admit that Charming makes me hotter than July.

Snow White: I'm sorry, but this isn't working for me!
Sleeping Beauty: [while being carried by Doris] Everything's always about you, isn't it? It's not like your attitude is helping, Snow!
Snow White: I think it just bothers you that I was voted fairest in the land!
Rapunzel: You mean in that RIGGED election?
Snow White: Oh, give me a break. [dreamy voice] Rapunzel, Rapunzel, [sarcastic voice] let down thy golden extensions.
Queen Lillian: Ladies, let go of your petty complaints and let's work together.

[Rapunzel has betrayed the princesses in order to be with Prince Charming]
Charming: Say hello to the new queen of Far Far Away!
Cinderella: Yay! [claps]
[Awkward pause]
Fiona: Rapunzel, how could you?
Rapunzel: Jealous much?

Snow White: Right! Ladies, assume the position!
[Sleeping Beauty falls asleep, Snow White lies down in her coffin pose, and Cinderella seats herself on the floor gazing dreamily into space.]
Princess Fiona: What are you doing?
Sleeping Beauty: [Snaps awake] Waiting to be rescued. [falls back asleep]

Shrek: [looking at Artie talking with princesses] See, what'd I tell ya? The kid's gonna make a great king.
Fiona: For what it's worth, you would have too.
Shrek: [rubs Fiona's stomach] I have something much more important in mind.

Captain Hook: [looming over a young boy threateningly with his hook] Well, well, well. If it isn't Peter Pan!
Boy's Mother: His name's not Peter!
Captain Hook: Shut it, Wendy.

Donkey: Worr-sest-ter-shirey?
Shrek : It's Worcestershire, Donkey.
Donkey: Oooh! Like the sauce? IT'S SPICY!

Artie: [To Shrek] Please don't eat me!
Students and Teacher: [chanting] Eat him, eat him...
Shrek: I'm not here to eat him!
Students and Teacher: Aww...
Shrek: It's time to pack up your toothbrush and jammies. You're the new king of Far Far Away.
Artie: What?

Gingy: I hate dinner theatre.
Pinocchio: Me too. [nose grows]

Rapunzel: Oh pookykins, you said you wouldn't hurt them.
Prince Charming: Not now, kitten whiskers. Daddy will discuss it later.

Prince Charming: You! You can't lie! So tell me puppet... Where... is... Shrek?
Pinocchio: Uh. Hmm, well, uh, I don't know where he's not.
Prince Charming: You're telling me you don't know where Shrek is?
Pinocchio: It wouldn't be inaccurate to assume that I couldn't exactly not say that it is or isn't almost partially incorrect.
Prince Charming: So you do know where he is!
Pinocchio: On the contrary. I'm possibly more or less not definitely rejecting the idea that in no way with any amount of uncertainty that I undeniably...
Prince Charming: Stop it!
Pinocchio: or do not know where he shouldn't probably be, if that indeed wasn't where he isn't. Even if he wasn't at where I knew he was, that'd mean I'd really have to know where he wasn't.

Donkey [in Puss in Boots]: Alright people, Let's do this thing. Go Team Dynamite!
Pinocchio: But I thought we agreed we'd go by the name Team Super-cool.
Gingy: As I recall, it was Team Awesome.
Wolf: I voted for Team Alpha Wolf Squadron.
Donkey: Alright, Alright, Alright. From henceforth, we shall be known as Team Alpha-Super-Awesome-Cool-Dynamite-Wolf-Squadron.

Puss in Boots: [talking to a female cat] It's out of my hands, señorita. The winds of fate have blown on my destiny. But I will never forget you. You are the love of my life.
Female cat: Meeaow.
Puss in Boots: [very quickly] I gotta go!


Other characters[edit]

See Also[edit]


  • And They Lived Happily Never After.
  • He's In For The Royal Treatment.
  • The Wait Is Ogre.

External links[edit]

Wikipedia has an article about: