Sick, Sad World

Sick, Sad World is the name of a fictional television program that existed on MTV's animated series Daria.

• "It's 911 in the morning and 1-900 in the evening. The phone sex/E.M.S. dispatcher when Sick, Sad World returns."
• "They bake cookies by day, but they really heat up at night! G-string grandmas, today on Sick, Sad World."
• "What do those Supreme Court judges wear under their robes? Declassified government Polaroids, next on Sick, Sad World."
• "Can monkeys surf the net... and corrupt our kids? Chimpanzee chat rooms, next on Sick, Sad World."
• "Guano see some gutsy climbing? Scaling the world's tallest pile of seagull droppings, next on Sick, Sad World."
• "Malibu's Mopiest Millionaire, next on Sick, Sad World."
• "Neo-natal skinheads, next on Sick, Sad World."
• "Are fish using our oceans as their own private toilet? A Sick, Sad World exclusive, right after this."
• "Can renegade surgeons transplant your brain while you sleep? The frightening truth, next on Sick, Sad World."
• "One three-ton hubby is not enough for this red hot mammal. The polygamous hippopotamus, when Sick, Sad World returns."
• "A nightmare story of an enchanted kiss gone horribly wrong, when Sick, Sad World returns."
• "When these ballerinas work out at the barre, they work out at the bar! Tanked in a tutu when Sick, Sad World returns."
• "Next on Sick, Sad World: hoax, or vision? Some people in Florida claim they've seen the face of Jesus... on a penny!"
• "Death wore velvety green. Homicidal house plants, next on Sick, Sad World."
• "Are microbes having sex in your drinking water? H-2-aooh! next, on Sick, Sad World."
• "He gave her his kidney. She gave him her heart. Transplants and romance when Sick, Sad World continues."
• "Breast implants for chickens..."
• "When he turned up his nose at accordion lessons, they cut off his inheritance molto allegro. "The Severed Pianist," next on Sick, Sad World."
• "What does your foot odor say about your sexual prowess? Sniffing for love, on the next Sick, Sad World."
• "The world's largest nativity scene... in August? Atlanta mall manager Gifford Jones. "The Savior Went Down to Georgia", tonight on Sick, Sad World."
• "What deadly new diseases can you pick up by sitting down? Toilet seat terror next, on Sick, Sad World."
• "Brought back from the grave by black magic, but no one taught them to cross at the green! The jaywalking dead, next on Sick, Sad World."
• "When aliens eat out, where do they relieve themselves? Extraterrestrial restaurant restrooms, tonight on Sick, Sad World."
• "They broke into her bedroom. She burst into song! The inappropriate alto, tonight on Sick, Sad World!"
• "Is your toll collector wearing pants, a skirt, or nothing but a smile? Cold breeze on the interstate, next on Sick, Sad World."
• "Meet the killer whale with a license to practice law. Orca in the Court, tonight on Sick, Sad World."
• "From outer space to in your face! Aliens walk among us! A Sick, Sad World exclusive."
• "Her amputee boyfriend was cheating so she stole his prosthesis, but he kept right on hopping into strange beds. The one-legged lothario next, on Sick, Sad World."
• "Meet the cannibal with a heart... quick, before he eats it! Next, on Sick, Sad World."
• "Could a family of ghosts be living in your house rent-free? Freeloading familial phantoms, next on Sick, Sad World."
• "Can too many carrots make your head grow leaves? Uh, what's that, doc?! In one hour, on Sick, Sad World!"
• "Would you moan my name... if I boinked you in heaven? Ghost hookers in the sky, tonight on Sick, Sad World."
• "Why are so many Siamese twins being born in this Bangkok hospital? "Babes in Thailand", tonight on Sick, Sad World."
• "Is your cutlery holding an edge or going over one? 'Diary of a mad steak knife,' tonight on Sick, Sad World."
• "Can you teach an old dog to turn tricks? Ruff! Canine call girls, next on Sick, Sad World."
• "Fish gotta swim and birds gotta fly, but not when you bake them both in a pie! Sunday brunch in the loony bin, next on Sick, Sad World."
• "He's risen from the grave... and he still won't pay child-support! Undead deadbeat dads, next on Sick, Sad World."
• "Is there really a secret underwater railroad smuggling flounder to freedom? Get on board the sole train, tonight on Sick, Sad World!"
• "Thomas Jefferson. Philosopher. Inventor. President... and keeper of one saucy journal! The declaration of in my pants, tonight on Sick, Sad World."
• "Are drug-crazed rodents raiding your child's medicine cabinet? Rats on Ritalin, next on Sick, Sad World."
• "All he wanted, just once, was to eat at the table. But she had a hankering to howl. "Shih tzu? I hardly know you!" Next, on Sick, Sad World."
• "How shoddy fertility drugs are creating a new breed of gang and wreaking havoc with police lineups. "Delinquent quintuplets," next on Sick, Sad World."
• "Meet the psychic Nazi hunter who says the Fuhrer's been reincarnated... as a madcap leggy blonde! "There's something about Hitler," tonight on Sick, Sad World."
• "What kind of sicko voyeur would set up a hidden camera in an Intensive Care Unit? The peek-a-boo ICU, next on Sick, Sad World."
• "This king of the jungle was one tubby tabby, until the animal plastic surgeon came to call. Lipo for Leo, next on Sick, Sad World."
• "It's quite a web-sight when civil war buffs get in the buff. Www.gettys-BARE, next on Sick, Sad World."
• "What's more heartless than pilfering a roll of toilet paper? (cut to man in tuxedo with woman, holding money in one hand) Transforming it into a roll of twenties! The squeezably soft counterfeiter, next on Sick, Sad World."
• "Meet the fly fishing pathologist who uses human organs as bait! "A Liver Runs Through It," next on Sick, Sad World!"
• "Trouble travels by trike! Under-age road rage, next on Sick Sad World."
• "Criminals, beware. This detective won't talk, but you will! Mime and punishment, next on Sick, Sad World."
• "Can anger management training really help gorillas avoid extinction? Maybe, but it's not doing much for the psychiatrists! "The Apes of Wrath," today on Sick, Sad World!"
• "They gave her a good-bye party at 65... miles per second! "Retirement by rocket," next on Sick, Sad World."
• "A vision of Christ in a half-eaten candy bar? Talk about my sweet lord! The immaculate confection, NEXT on Sick Sad World."
• "What's that you're really stirring in your tea, honey or bee vomit? Animal secretions that make us say 'yum' tonight on Sick, Sad World"

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