Spider-Man Shattered Dimensions
From Wikiquote
The newest installment in the series of Activision's long running Spider-Man games. Mysterio attemtps to steal the Tablet of Order and Chaos, which Spider-Man attempts to prevent, but during their fight, Spider-Man accidentally shatters the tablet. Madame Web appears to enlist four Spider-men from various worlds to track down the fragments of the Tablet before they fall into the wrong hands.
Characters [edit]
- Spider-Man: Say 'Uncle'!
- Spider-Man: Hey, stop hitting your face with my fist!
- Ultimate Electro: Well, well, if it isn't the Spectacular Spider-schmuck!
- Ultimate Spider-Man: Oh, dude, pants! No one wants to see your junk!
- Ultimate Electro: Keep laughin', punk! See what I found? [shows the fragment he is holding] Whaddaya think happens if I use it?
- Ultimate Spider-Man: Err, interest rates go down?
- [Electro makes lightning from the sky strike a power pole]
- Ultimate Electro: Yes... it's like my powers are totally unleashed! Now I can absorb all this energy! ENERGY WITHOUT LIMIT!
- Ulimate Spider-Man: And yet, still no pants.
- Ultimate Electro: [absorbing energy from a generator] Ah, that hits the spot! Yeah, baby, like that! Right there...!
- Ultimate Spider-Man: Err, EW! Do you and your generator, like, need some time alone?
- Ultimate Electro: We're gonna shock till you drop!
- Ultimate Spider-Man: Okay, no offense, but you REALLY need to work on your supervillain banter.
- Ultimate Electro: I'm becoming more than powerful! I'm becoming UNSTOPPABLE!
- Ultimate Spider-Man: And you're still not wearing any pants, so two steps forward, one step back!
- [Electro has been activating trucks throughout the fight]
- Ultimate Spider-Man: Oh, hello! You really have a thing for trucks, huh? Are you sure you wanna be called "Electro"? How about "Electruck"? "Truckodon"? "Truckmaster"? "Truckleberry Finn"? "Trucktor Doom"? I know - "Professor Pickup"! That is something else! [laughs] I really drove that one into the ground!
- Ultimate Electro: [generates electric minions] Maybe these will shut you up!
- Ultimate Spider-Man: Maybe they'll make me talk more! You never know!
- Ultimate Electro: I HAVE BECOME A BEING OF PURE ENERGY!
- Ultimate Spider-Man: WITHOUT PANTS!
- Public Eye officer: Hands where I can see them!
- Scorpion 2099: Hands?!
- Madame Web: And now, scale the wall with your unique adhesive abilities.
- Amazing Spider-Man: Uh, I believe the technical term is "Stick 'em powers".
(A bit later)
- Madame Web: And you can run across narrow walkways such as this one without fear of falling, due to your natural agility and powers of adhesion.
- Ultimate Spider-Man: They're called "Stick-em powers". Did one of the other me's make that joke already?
- Madame Web: Yes. And it was no funnier then.
- Doctor Octopus 2099: Computer, this lab has been compromised. Activate self-destruct sequence - ten seconds.
- Spider-Man 2099: Ten seconds?! That's barely enough time to come up with a clever explosion-related quip!
- Doctor Octopus 2099: Ooh, that must really "burn you up". So long, Spider-Man; it's been a "blast".
- Spider-Man 2099: Oh, she's good.
- Doctor Octopus 2099: Babbling jackanape! Must you ruin everything?!
- Spider-Man 2099: She likes me. I can tell.
- Doctor Octopus 2099: Congratulations. You've shut down a number of redundant energy valves. A minor inconvenience. As long as I have the artefact, my reactor is unstoppable, and the destruction I wreak with it will be a testament to its magnificent design!
- Spider-Man 2099: Really? Doesn't seem like much of a machine if it gets all its power from a magic rock!
- Doctor Octopus 2099: You creep! Do you have even the slightest idea what complicated engineering is required for it to successfully derive energy from a mystical artefact?! DO YOU?! DO YOU?!
- Spider-Man 2099: [dismissively] Meh...
- Doctor Octopus 2099: I'LL KILL YOU!!!
- Spider-Man 2099: [after defeating Doctor Octopus 2099; catches her as she falls] Gotcha!
- Doctor Octopus 2099: [groans in exhaustion]
- Spider-Man 2099: You're right. I am incredible.
- Thug #1 1930: If Spider-Man show up here, I'll fill 'im fulla daylight!
- Thug #2 1930: Pfft. It's nighttime.
- Thug #1 1930: The same principle applies!
- Thug #3 1930: But it don't sound as good. "Fill 'im fulla nighttime"?
- Thug #2 1930: See, this is why we're just mooks. We stand around havin' stupid discussions like this.
- Announcer: PAIN FACTOR! With your host, the anti-hero for hire, the mask for your task, the guy who won't die - DEADPOOL!
- Ultimate Deadpool: Hi, ma! And welcome to Pain Factor, the only show where you compete FOR YOUR LIFE! And remember, viewers, I'm available for black ops, missions, assassinations and birthday parties!
- Ultimate Deadpool: Listen, webby. I can't have you swinging around in your footy pajamas destroying my cameras. You're going to have to tangle with my ARMY! And by army, I mean production assistants, and by production assistants, I mean unpaid interns, and by unpaid interns I mean fans. You're going to have to tangle with my FANS!
- Ultimate Spider Man: Lamest. Supervillain. Ever.
- Ultimate Deadpool: So where in continuity do you think this game goes?
- Ultimate Deadpool: You're wrecking my show!
- Ultimate Deadpool: You know, some people feel like they haven't "beaten" the game until they found every single available token...
- (Ultimate Deadpool unleashes a large, hammer-wielding fan on Ultimate Spider-Man)
- Ultimate Deadpool: Looks like the spider's about to get squished! GO GET 'IM, BEAUREGARD!
- Ultimate Spider-Man: [chuckling] "Beauregard"?
- (After Ultimate Spider-man defeats Beauregard)
- Ultimate Deadpool: Aw, man! Where am I gonna find another fan that big and antisocial?!
- Ultimate Spider-Man: I dunno. How friendly are you with Ben Grimm?
- Ultimate Deadpool: Welcome to the Wadey Wilson Show! Today's guest is Spider-Man! Hey buddy, have a seat. Let's talk about the question on everyone's lips: How HOT is Kitty Pryde?! UH! Almost as hot as that redhead I always see you saving? Do I sense a bit of a love triangle there?
- Ultimate Spider-Man: [somewhat amused] Oh my god. Get outta here.
- Ultimate Deadpool: And is it true there's a clone of you out there with your brain, but trapped inside a GIRL'S body?! Coz that's kind of, like, creepy! And by "kind of", I mean "INSANELY"! [whispering] I'd still hit it, though!
- Ultimate Deadpool: On the bad news bit, viewers are advised to seek higher ground, because we're about to have a MASSIVE tidal wave tear through here! Looks like it'll be caused about five seconds from now by some nutty featherplucker detonating a whole nest of explosives underwater! Of course, the question on everyone's lips is "Who would be crazy enough to--?" Oh, wait! IT'S ME!!! [detonates explosives]
- Ultimate Spider-Man: [while listening to Ultimate Deadpool] Do villains find ME this annoyingly talkative? Err... don't answer that.
- Ultimate Deadpool: [absorbing power from a fragment] Ooooooh, candy bar, I'm gonna get a candy bar...!!!
- Amazing Spider-Man: Well, if it ain't my old friend Flint Marko, the Sandman. Y'know, every time we play together, I end up digging sand out of my costume for weeks.
- Sandman: I got a game for you to play! (vanishes into the ground)
- Amazing Spider-Man: ... Marko? Marko?
- Sandman: POLO!!!
- Amazing Spider-Man: I've seen enough scary movies to know that THIS is the moment the monster jumps out at me. (Sandman's hand comes out of the ground and grabs him) I KNEW IT!
- [Sandman has split into several faces in a whirlwind of sand]
- Sandman Face 2: Kill him now?
- Sandman Face 1: No! Play with him for a while...
- Sandman Face 3: Don't give him a chance to escape!
- Sandman Face 2: I wanna make him suffer!
- Sandman Face 3: Make it last!
- Sandman Face 2: No! Do it now!
- Sandman Face 3: Kill him!
- Amazing Spider-Man: Flint, your consciousness can't handle being spread this thin! The fragment has made you too powerful!
- Sandman Face 1: You would say that!
- Sandman Face 3: Wait! What if he's right?
- Sandman Face 2: No, it's a trick!
- Sandman Face 3: It's not a trick! I can feel it!
- Sandman Face 1: Shut up!
- Sandman Face 2: Admit it, he's right!
- Sandman Face 3: He's lying!
- Sandman Face 1: Shut up, all of you! JUST SHUT UP!
- All Sandman Faces: QUIET!!!
- Amazing Spider-Man: [attempting to get a fragment off Juggernaut] Okay, laughing boy. Hold still while I deliver the coup de grâce--
- Juggernaut: [grabs him] I hate French food!
- Amazing Spider-Man: No, "coup de grâce"! It means, like--
- Juggernaut: IT MEANS YOU'RE OUTTA HERE!!! [throws him through several walls]
- Spider-Man Noir: Say your prayers, punks. Here comes the Spider-Man.
- Mysterio: Itsy bitsy spider, time to wash you out!
- Ultimate Spider-Man: And with that, supervillain banter hits an all-time low.
