SpongeBob SquarePants/Season 7

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SpongeBob SquarePants: Seasons: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 (Main) | Movies: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie / Sponge Out of Water / Sponge on the Run | Spin-offs: Kamp Koral (s1, s2) / The Patrick Star Show (s1, s2) | Specials: The Tidal Zone

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SpongeBob SquarePants (1999-) is an animated TV series, airing on Nickelodeon about the adventures and endeavors of the title character and his various friends in the fictional underwater city of Bikini Bottom. It spawned a movie, followed by several short films, and video games.

Episode 1

Tentacle-Vision [7.1a]

Patrick: [laughing] My shorts are wet!

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Squidward: Patrick, just how dumb are you?

Patrick: It varies.

I love Dancing [7.1b]

Squidward: [upon seeing SpongeBob dancing] That is the stupidest dance I've ever seen.

SpongeBob: [to Squidward] Who put you on the planet?

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Twin Sisters: [singing] We're tiny, we're cuddly, we're bubbly, wubbly, huggly!

Talent Agent: That was very cute, girls! [then annoyed] In fact, it's too cute. You're out.

Twin Sisters: I told you it was a stupid idea... and I hate you, too!

Talent Agent: [looks at her clipboard] Let's see who's next. Hmm... [mumbles] SpongeBob SquarePants. Oh, SpongeBob SquarePants! [looks behind her in the empty auditorium] SpongeBob?! I guess he's not here. It's too bad, he was good. But who could replace a dancer of such high-caliber?

Squidward: [now in the auditorium] Only the best dancer in Bikini Bottom.

Talent Agent: Really? [points to herself] Well, I'll be the judge of that.

Squidward: [starts laughing and then jumps on the stage] Observe a true master at work. [starts doing a dance where he only swings his legs back and forth, then stops.]

Talent Agent: Oh, sweet sassafras! Do mine eyes deceive me? That was the greatest routine since the greatest thing since sliced bread dancing routine! [gets on the stage] Congratulations! [shakes Squidward's hand] You got the gig!

Squidward: Oh, baby, I knew it! [puts his hands on her shoulders] You won't be sorry you made this decision.

Talent Agent: I don't think you'll be sorry either, because you'll be dancing in... [we see Squilliam] ...Squilliam's show!

Squidward: [studders] Squ--Squ--Squ--Squ--Squ--Squ--Squ--Squidawa!

Squilliam: Well, don't just stand there! Get the sand out of your leotard and dance for me, nitwit. [we see Squidward for a moment looking around. Squilliam taps his baton a few times and then picks up a boom box. He starts playing it.] Dance! [Squidward starts dancing to upbeat ukulele music for a few seconds before getting smacked in the face with a glove] Not like that, kelp for brains! You call that dancing? Do it like this! [puts his hands together] Here I go! [does the exact dance as SpongeBob did at the beginning of the episode] Who put you on the planet? Ugh! Now, do it exactly as I did, and don't stop till you get it right! [touches Squidward's nose] And I don't care how long it takes! [starts dancing the dance that Squidward and SpongeBob did. We see SpongeBob now seated in the auditorium with Patrick]

SpongeBob: [puts his elbow on him] I was up for that part. [drinks his drink and Patrick eats his popcorn. Cuts to black, episode ends]

Episode 2

Growth Spout [7.2a]

Cracker: What am I, chopped liver?

Offscreen voice: No, that's what I am. [zoom out showing a jar of chopped liver]

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Mrs. Puff: [in her sleep] Must...protect garden.

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Squidward's house: Oh, well. I needed to lose a little weight anyway.

Stuck in the Wringer [7.2b]

SpongeBob: I guess crying does solve your problems after all.

Episode 3

The Inside Job [7.3b]

[Plankton unplugs SpongeBob's ear drum]

Plankton: Let me see what I can tune in here. Hmm.

Mr. Krabs: The secret of the Krabby Patty formula is-

Plankton: Jackpot!

Spongebob: Huh?

Mr, Krabs: I said-

SpongeBob: Could you speak a little louder, please?

Mr. Krabs: The secret to the Krabby Patty formula-

SpongeBob: What?

Mr. Krabs: Hold on.

Plankton: Here it comes!

Mr. Krabs: [shouting into a megaphone] THE SECRET TO THE KRABBY PATTY FORMULA IS...! [The shouting causes Plankton's ears to pop]

Plankton: OW! I hate my life!

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Plankton: Enough with these petty carnal senses. If I'm going to get the Krabby Patty recipe...[he arrives at...] The brain!

[Snickering evily, he sticks one end of the mind connector to the brain and absorbs some of it]

Plankton: Hi, friend! [he gasps as he saw "Superficial Greetings" on the brain] "Superficial Greetings"? What kind of idiot...? [sees the parts of the brain] -"Personal Opinions"? "Knock-knock Jokes"?! No, no, no, no! This is all useless!

Episode 4

Greasy Buffoons [7.4a]

Mr. Krabs/Plankton: Oh, no! Did somebody call the Health inspector?

Health inspector: Did somebody call a... Health inspector?

Episode 5

A Pal for Gary [7.5b]

[SpongeBob sees little puffy fish being sold by a peddler, and becomes enticed by them and decides to get one of them for Gary]

SpongeBob: I'll take that one right there!

Store Owner: You wish to have one of my rare and extremely dangerous... huh?

SpongeBob: Oh yeah this is the one. [picks one of them]

Store Owner: Beware, boy, this is no ordinary pet!

SpongeBob: Oh, Gary's gonna be so happy!

Store Owner: You must understand. These pets can be very unstable. especially around other pets!

[She proves this by showing a picture of a cat next to another puffy fish, who snarls at it.]

SpongeBob: [obliviously] Yeah, yeah, yeah, thanks, bye. [he runs off]

Store Owner: Why bother? They never listen.

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SpongeBob: Ahh. I can rest so peacefully, now that Gary's got a good pal they could play with.

[Just as he goes to sleep, Gary bursts through the door, scared and meowing in alarm, causing him to wake up with a start.]

SpongeBob: Gary! Shame on you! [takes Gary back in the living room] Puffy Fluffy is perfectly harmless. [he takes the blanket off, revealing what he thinks is normal Puffy Fluffy] See there he is fast asleep. Now will you let me sleep, Gary, please? [sets Gary back on a small green bed and covers him with a small blanket] Good night. [goes back to bed]

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[After SpongeBob wakes up and notices the damage to the house, thanks to Puffy Fluffy]

SpongeBob: Hmm, that's interesting. Must have been a sea quake last night. Oh, well, what are you gonna do? [opens the galley door which falls over] That's unusual. WHOA! [sees the library which is a total wreck] My library! [gasps] And my prized memoirs of T.S. Halibut! [gasps] My clothes! [picks up his torn pants] This was no random sea quake. Who could've done this? There was no one here except for... [mistakenly realizes something] ...Gary. I bet he's jealous about the new friend.

Episode 6

Yours, Mine and Mine [7.6a]

Patrick: Hey! [flips over box] Where's the toy?

SpongeBob: Oh, it doesn't come with a toy.

Patrick: What!? That's a rip off! I want my money back!

[Scene cuts to Mr. Krabs taking a money bath]

Mr. Krabs: [wakes up] Money back?! [walks out of office with towel wrapped around him] What's the problem here?

Patrick: My Kiddy meal didn't come with a toy!

Mr. Krabs: Hmm. And you'd like to upgrade to the toy package is that right?

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, the Krusty Krab doesn't have any toys.

Mr. Krabs: Oh, really? [takes Krabby Patty away from customer] Then what do you call?... [fixes Krabby Patty] this? [The Krabby Patty now has eyes, legs, a mouth, and arms made from kitchen ingredients; Patrick and SpongeBob gasp]

SpongeBob: An officially "licensed" Krusty Krab toy? [smiles]

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Patrick: Uh, I'm not home right now! Please leave a message! Beeeep...

SpongeBob: Patrick, it's me! SpongeBob! It's my turn to play with the toy!

Patrick: I can't go out! I just washed my hair!

SpongeBob: You don't have any h-come out, Patrick! It's MY turn!

Patrick: Got any ID?

SpongeBob: I have my milkshake dispenser operator license.

Patrick: [looks at it] Looks fake to me pal! Bye-Bye now!

SpongeBob: Well, I guess I had best be going! [Pretends to walk away] I'm walking away...Here I go... [quietly] I'm gone now! [hides on Patrick's antenna]

Patrick: You sure?

SpongeBob: I'm sure! [Patrick comes out, he jumps at him] Hi, Patrick! Time to SHARE!

Patrick: DECEIVER! You didn't leave at all!

SpongeBob: Oh, and you were washing your hair!?!

Patrick: I was too, See? [shows his armpit hair]

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SpongeBob: [Surprised] Gary was so right about you! You're a non-sharer!

Patrick: Gary said that? You're off my friend list, Gary!

Gary: Meow. [turns and slithers back into SpongeBob's house]

SpongeBob: Hand it over, Patrick! I get to play with the Patty Pal today!

Patrick: You can't take it, It's not fair!

SpongeBob: How about I take it for half a day?

Patrick: Mm-mm!

SpongeBob: How about we trade off every hour?

Patrick: Mm-mm!

SpongeBob: Every half hour?

Patrick: Mm-mm!

SpongeBob: Every fifteen minutes?

Patrick: Mm-mm!

SpongeBob: Five minutes?

Patrick: Mm-mm!

SpongeBob: One minute?

Patrick: N-n-no!

SpongeBob: Okay then, for our final offer we trade off every second!

[They pass Patty Pal back and fourth every second]

Patrick: One.

SpongeBob: One.

Patrick: One.

[Pause, Patrick runs off while SpongeBob tears himself angrily]

Kracked Krabs [7.6b]

Mr. Krabs:: Lad, you're surrounded by stingy wisdom, so try to pick up some pointers. But whatever you do, don't lend anyone money!

SpongeBob:: [lending money to another crab] 25, 26...

Episode 7

Squidward in Clarinetland [7.7b]

Squidward: Order up, SpongeBob!

[walk towards SpongeBob]

Squidward: SpongeBob! What do you think you're doing? You're supposed to be fry cooking. I told you not to touch my stuff!

SpongeBob: I didn't! I wore protective gloves! And besides, don't you like how classy it look now?

Squidward: Velvet..

SpongeBob: Now I'd like to stand by and idly chat with you, Squidward, But I must attend to my Krusty Krab duties! In the future, please keep your interruptions to a minimum sir, please!

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Squidward: Hey, come back! I need my clarinet! Come Back! Where are you? Sponge-

[bumps into an eagle head]

Eagle: I am the keeper of the horned forest, state your business here.

Squidward: uuhh.. I'm.. trying to find my clarinet.

Eagle: Your clarinet?

Squidward:: Yes, my clarinet! Which I am the proud owner.

[Eagle laughs]

Eagle: A clarinet is not owned. Why don't you tell me why you're really here?

Squidward: You calling me a LIAR?!

[Eagle grabs Squidward with his tongue]

Eagle: I don't appreciate your tone.

Squidward: I'm sorry I-I-I didn't mean to offend you.

Eagle: This is a sacred place where clarinets live without persecution. You need to learn respect.

Squidward: [Eagle squeezed squidward tightly] I've learned.. [loosely] I've learned respect...

Eagle: I don't believe you.

[Swallows Squidward and he ends up in the stomach, Squidward sees SpongeBob]

SpongeBob's Last Stand [7.8]

Plankton: Observe in this conveniently timed flashback.

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SpongeBob: Okay everyone, say goodbye to the worst thing that's happened to this town since 97 cent stores.

Everyone: YEAH! [SpongeBob tries to break the highway with the tractor, but it just stopped]

Plankton: Good effort, Spongedope, but you can't tear up my highway, it's indestructible!

Larry Lobster: Not if we have anything to do with it!

SpongeBob: Larry Lobster!

Larry Lobster: That's right, pal, but that's not all. [Sandy walks out from the crowd, waving]

SpongeBob: Sandy Squirrel! [Mrs. Puff walks out of the crowd] Mrs. Puff! [Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy both walk out from the crowd] Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy! [Patrick walks walk out from the crowd] Patrick!

Patrick: Su-Su-Su-Su!

SpongeBob: And Squidward! [Squidward doesn't walk out from the crowd]

Fish 3: Nope, that's everybody!

Larry Lobster: Push! [He, Patrick, Mrs. Puff, Mermaid Man, Barnacle Boy and Sandy push] Harder! [They push harder]

SpongeBob: Harder still!

Fish 3: You heard the little square guy, yeah! [Everybody lines up behind the tractor and pushes it]

Plankton: Wait! I didn't count on all of you working together! [Everybody pushes hard enough that the highway breaks!] My highway! STOP! YOU CAN'T! [Plankton gets crushed by the tractor!]

Everyone: YEAH! [The arch over the Krusty Krab breaks down in a pile of dust and the smog clears]

Mr. Krabs: Praise Neptune.

SpongeBob: [Singing] Jelly lelly lelly jelly, jelly lelly lelly jelly, it's the jellyfishing song!

Jellyfish: Clap!

SpongeBob: Jelly lelly lelly jelly, jelly lelly lelly jelly, everyone sing along!

Jellyfish: Clap!

Everyone: [Singing] Jelly lelly lelly jelly, jelly lelly lelly jelly, it's the jellyfishing song!

Jellyfish: Clap!

Everyone: Jelly lelly lelly jelly, jelly lelly lelly jelly everyone siiiiinnnnggggg! [The camera zooms out and we cut to the Jellyfish Fields ranger]

Ranger: [bored voice] Everyone sing along. [switches the "closed" sign to "open," and then walks away]

Episode 9

Back to the Past [7.9a]

Mermaid Men:

#2: [running out of the time machine along with the second Barnacle Boy, Spongebob and Patrick] Keep your tongue out of my tarter sauce!

#1: Imposters!

#2: Who are you calling imposter, imposter? I must prevent our tarter sauce from being eaten by that... [pans to Patrick] ...That fool!

#1: If I want to get near my tarter sauce, I gotta go through me first!

#2: I’m gonna make you eat those words!

#1: Bring It! [gets "slapped"] Take this! ["punches" himself's hair] I’ll never let you win!

#2: Oh, yes I will!

Young: What do you make of this, Barnacle Boy?

Young Barnacle Boy: Tangled Timeline, Mermaid Man. I...

Man Ray: [laughs wickedly] You old coots provided me the perfect distraction. Now prepare to be disappeared!

Young Mermaid Man: Sounds good on paper, you purveyor of pure evil, but, fortunately, we all know what happens to paper underwater. [takes out a paper and it dissolves] Barnacle Boy, the tartar sauce. [pours tartar sauce on the Man Ray, but two Patricks fall off the can]

Patrick 2: Wow! I've never eaten that much tartar sauce.

Patrick 1: Yes, you have.

Patrick 2: Well, it sure ain't sittin' right.

Man Ray: [laughs wickedly] Foolish mools. Once again, your buffoonery has given me victory! [blows up the tartar sauce can and laughs wickedly] Oh, I'm going to savor this. It's not every day I get to defeat Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy three times over! [is about to shoot two SpongeBobs, Patrick, two Old Mermaid Mans and Barnacle Boys but another time machine comes]

SpongeBob 2: [He along with the second Patrick comes out of the machine] Patrick, don’t eat the tartar sauce!

Man Ray: You’re too late! Your fat friend beat you to it. Now, prepare to taste laser! [another time machine comes, which it opens, and the third SpongeBob and Patrick are falling, screaming] So how...

SpongeBob 4: [the time machine door with the fourth SpongeBob and Patrick] I told you we had to go back farther!

Man Ray: Uh... [tries to think but another time machine comes]

Mermaid Man 3: Up, up, and away! [the third Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy jump out and fall to the ground]

SpongeBob 5: [another time machine opens with the fifth Patrick also] Now, Patrick! [he along with the fifth Patrick pour tartar sauce on the third Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy and drop the can on them]

Man Ray: I can't get my head around this. Where are they all coming from? [Man Ray 2's machine comes] Another machine? [Man Ray 2 comes out]

Man Ray 2: [shoots his own whole time machine and laughs wickedly] I took care of your blasted time machine! [laughs again and flies away]

Man Ray: Uh! I got to sit down and think this through.

Young Mermaid Man: [chains Man Ray] Gotta! You've got plenty of time for thinking in the stony lonesome.

Man Ray: I'm sorry, did you say something? I'm still trying to comprehend what just happened here.

Young Mermaid Man: It's pretty simple, really. You were defeated by a convoy of continuum-cruising crime stoppers. Thank you, SpongeBob and Patrick.

Four SpongeBobs and Two Patricks: You're welcome!

SpongeBob 6 and Patrick 6: [another time machine which holds seven SpongeBobs and six Patricks comes] Oh, hi there! Hello! Hello! Hello!

One Other Patrick: Hey! Oh, I can't believe it!

One Other SpongeBob: We just wanted to come back and revisit the day that evil was defeated forever.

SpongeBob 7: [another time machine appears] Hey, how you doing?

Patrick 7: We're here.

Eighth and Ninth SpongeBobs and Patricks: [two time machines appear] Oh, hi there! How you doing?

Tenth SpongeBob and Patrick: Hello! Hello!

Even More SpongeBobs and Patricks: [more appear] Oh hi there! [More and more appear while the episode pans into outer space] Hello! Hello!

The Bad Guy Club for Villains [7.9b]

Patrick: Hey, what happened? Why are those squiggles on the screen?

SpongeBob: Those are called "End Credits", Patrick.

Patrick: End credits? But I don't want it to end!

SpongeBob: That's why Neptune gave us the rewind button! [pushes a button]

Patrick: Thank you, Neptune! [The screen goes back to the beginning and zooms in before the episode ends]

Episode 10

A Day Without Tears [7.10a]

[Later, SpongeBob appears at his breakfast table eating oatmeal while listening to the radio]

Radio DJ: And that was "Aja" by Eely Dan. Next up is Lionel Fishy with his hit, "Sad Song."

[The sad song begins to play, and SpongeBob begins crying again.]

SpongeBob: A SO SAD SONG!

Squidward: [inside his house, wearing a robe and towel, while holding a cup of tea and a Danish] That SpongeBob is such a crybaby. Lucky me, I get to work with him all day. [takes a bite out of his Danish while SpongeBob continues to cry from inside his house.]

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SpongeBob: He was a good little Krabby Patty. [sniffs] I didn't know him well, but in the few short seconds between grill and floor, I- [opens the trash lid and begins crying] -I came to love him! [the patty slowly slides off his spatula and into the trash bin] It just isn't fair! [he cries even louder, soaking and enraging Squidward from the counter window]

Squidward: SpongeBob, will you stop crying?!

SpongeBob: But the Krabby Patty fell on the floor and then he...

Squidward: Krabby Patty nothing!

SpongeBob: I-

Squidward: [shouting] KRABBY PATTY NOTHING! [breathes heavily. SpongeBob whimpers] What now?

SpongeBob: [stifled] You yelled at me... [wailing] YOU YELLED AT ME! [continues sobbing]

Squidward: All right, look. So far today, and it's not even 2:00 yet, you have cried 43 times.

SpongeBob: And you wrote that number on a chalkboard.

Squidward: Yes!

SpongeBob: Why?

Squidward: [pauses for a second] I have no idea.

SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward, there's no way I cry that much. There's not that many tears in my brain.

Squidward: Au contraire. [turns on a TV]

SpongeBob: What's this?

Squidward: It's a quick montage of flashbacks I've edited together that shows the hundreds of tears you have cried over the years.

[the video begins to play, showing SpongeBob crying in the Krusty Krab, in a grocery store, at Mrs. Puff's Boating School, in Jellyfish Fields, in the bathroom, and more like near a bus stop for no reason]

SpongeBob: [in the video] Boo! Hoo! Boohoo! Sob. Whimper.

Narrator: Thousands of tears later...

[SpongeBob continues to watch himself crying in the video]

SpongeBob: Wow, guess I do cry a lot. I promise I won't cry anymore.

Squidward: Oh, nonsense! I bet you can't go the rest of the day without crying.

SpongeBob: [realizes something] Excuse me a minute. [he walks up to a rotary telephone and dials it, Patrick appears lazily sitting on his couch when his own phone rings]

Patrick: [answers it] Star... residence. Patrick speaking.

SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick.

Patrick: Hey, buddy! Is it 7:30 already?

SpongeBob: No, I'm still at work.

Patrick: How can I help you?

SpongeBob: Do you think that I could go the rest of the day without crying?

Patrick: [mouth full with popcorn] Well, of course you can.

SpongeBob: Okay, great, thanks, Patrick.

Patrick: Umm... sure. And did you remember to put that package outside where I told you?

SpongeBob: Yeah, but I left it in a different spot. Just ask Gary, he knows where it is.

Patrick: Oh, yeah. [laughs with his mouth full] Hey, good one, buddy. You almost had me there.

SpongeBob: [chuckles] Okay.

Patrick: Yeah, talk to you later.

SpongeBob: All right, see ya. [hangs up, then walks back up to Squidward] Okay, it's a bet.

Squidward: [shakes SpongeBob's hand] Fine. If you cry one tear before midnight, you have to... [thinks] Wash my bike, clean out my rain gutters, and do all my yard work for a year.

SpongeBob: Sounds fair to me. And if I make it to midnight without crying, you'll come to a slumber party at my place. Just you and me. [Squidward retches and swallows] Ooh, what's the matter?

Squidward: Um, nothing, I just threw up a little in my mouth. [begins talking in his thoughts] No need to worry, Squiddy. You've outdone yourself. He'll be crying in ten minutes.

Episode 11

One Coarse Meal [7.11a]

Karen: My triumphant husband returns. How'd you fail this time?

Plankton: Krabs had a whale!

Karen: You mean his big, bad, scary teenage daughter?

Plankton: I hear that mocking tone in your voice, Karen, and I don't appreciate it! Don't you remember what happened to my ancestors at the hands of those beasts?!

[Plankton's family is shown being eaten by a whale]

Karen: Okay, when you need a break from your delusional paranoia, the trash needs some attention. It's ripened.

---

Plankton: [crying] What's the point of going on? I'll just be tortured for the rest of my life by that whale! [lies down] That's it. I'm done. The 4:15 bus should be along any time now.

SpongeBob: Hi, Plankton. What are you doing laying in the middle of the road?

Plankton: Go away, Cheese head! Can't you see I'm trying to get run over?! In fact, better yet, just step on me as hard as you can. Would you do that for me?

SpongeBob: I'm sorry, Plankton, but that flies in the face of my good nature.

Plankton: Forget it, kid. I'll just wait for the next bus. Go on back to the Krusty Krab and enjoy yourself.

Episode 12

The Play's the Thing [7.12a]

SpongeBob: Squidward, no! Those patties aren't fit for public consumption!

Squidward: Here, enjoy!

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SpongeBob: [tries not to cry] Bless you all.

Patrick: I like throwing food. [chucks a burnt Krabby Patty at SpongeBob]

SpongeBob: OW!

All: FOOD FIGHT!

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Squidward: AAAAAHH!

Patrick: Haw haw! Ah haw haw! [hurls an anchor]

Rodeo Daze [7.12b]

[Scene cuts to the Chum Bucket]

SpongeBob: [bangs on the door] Plankton!

Plankton: [opens the door and comes out] What?

SpongeBob: Sandy's in trouble. I need help rescuing her.

Plankton: [gets some dynamite with a timer on it] I'm kind of busy right now.

SpongeBob: [about the bomb] Jeepers, it'll only take a minute.

Plankton: Yeah, uh, I'd love to help, but I really got to go. [picks up the dynamite and carries it towards the Krusty Krab, and the dynamite blows up before Plankton gets to the Krusty Krab] Ouch.

Episode 13

Gramma's Secret Recipe [7.13a]

[Bubble transitions over to the place called "Grandma's Tea House."]

SpongeBob: [drinks tea] Ahhh. Isn't this tea delicious, Grandma?

Plankton: Why, yes! [drinks the tea then spits it out on a coaster] HOW CAN YOU DRINK THIS DRECK?! [all of the grandmas gasp] Heh, heh, heh, heh... What I meant to say was, "More, please."

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Grandma Plankton: Plankton! [Plankton gasps. Grandma Plankton takes her glasses off his face] You've been a very naughty boy, Plankton!

Plankton: B-But-But-But I... [Grandma Plankton takes her wig off his head] Grandma, I can... [Grandma Plankton takes her dress off Plankton's body]

Grandma Plankton: I've been looking all over for this stuff!

Plankton: Grandma, I can explain!

Grandma Plankton: [grabs Plankton by his right antenna and drags him out of the kitchen] I'm sure you can. Plankton Jr., you know you always were a... [stops at one of SpongeBob's feet]

SpongeBob: Grandma? [gasps] You caught Plankton! Let me guess—trying to steal the secret formula, right?

Grandma Plankton: Get out of my way, rapscallion! [SpongeBob does so] I've had enough foolishness for one day. [Plankton groans in defeat. Grandma Plankton drags him out of the Krusty Krab.]

The Cent of Money [7.13b]

Tough guy: Oh boy, I'm not gonna hear the end of this when I get home.

SpongeBob: Pardon me sir. You haven't seen a crab walking around with a snail, have you?

Tough guy: Say, are you in with those thieving criminals too?

SpongeBob: Uh, thi-thieving what?

Tough guy: Them two jerks what stole my money. The fat one used his sneagle to swipe my coins from me!

SpongeBob: His sneagle?

Tough guy: That's right. Why, the coins were sticking right to his shell. [walks off muttering]

Mr. Krabs: [laughs]

SpongeBob: [he looks toward the arcade, and knows that Mr. Krabs is using his pet snail to collect coins] Mr. Krabs, what have you done to my Gary?

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Mr. Krabs: [to everyone] Ladies and gentlemen! [everyone looks at Mr. Krabs.] Thank you for your money! [lifts up Gary. Nothing happens]

Player 1: Huh?

Player 2: What? [they go back to their games]

Mr. Krabs: Come on, Harry! Let's go! [mutters] Come on, you! [shakes Gary]

SpongeBob: [stomps up behind him] MR. KRABS!!! FOR SHAME!

Mr. Krabs: What do you mean? I'm just showing Rory off.

SpongeBob: Don't you lie to me!!! I know all about you using Gary to steal money!

Mr. Krabs: I am doing nothing of the sort! [Gary's eyes wiggle] I would never steal... You have to quit making up stories, boyo! [some of the coin buckets begin to wiggle]

SpongeBob: I'm not making up anything! I know all about your little scheme! YOU'RE the one making up stories! [more buckets wiggle]

Mr. Krabs: Don't you have work you should be doing?

SpongeBob: [not falling for it] Oh... that's rich!

Mr. Krabs: No, if I was rich, I wouldn't have to hire the likes of you!

SpongeBob: That's hurtful, Mr. Krabs, and you know it. [More buckets wiggle faster]

Mr. Krabs: Why you little yella...! Well, I never...

SpongeBob: You never WHAT? Learned to use decent language?! [All of the coin buckets fly away, and coins burst out of the consoles; people scream and run. SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs argue more]

Mr. Krabs: What happened to the sweet boy I hired so long ago?!

SpongeBob: In the word you've gave between me and my sneagle- I mean snail!

Mr. Krabs: Who do you think you are?! [the big wave of money begins to approach SpongeBob, Gary, and Mr. Krabs] JACKPOT!!!!! [throws Gary into SpongeBob's arms and rushes toward the wave of coins] Money, money, money, money, money money, money! [Mr. Krabs keeps running to the big wave of coins] Come to papa! [stops as he realizes his mistake far too late] Oh, boy.

Episode 14

The Monster Who Came to Bikini Bottom [7.14a]

Patrick: Uh, I'd like you to meet my friend, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: And you are?

Monster: Raaaaaaaarrrrghhh!

SpongeBob: Nice to meet you, Mr. Raaaaaaaarrrrghhh!

Welcome to the Bikini Bottom Triangle [7.14b]

Mr. Krabs: [to the mermaids] So there's really no way out of this place? [cries] Cause I really need to get back to the Krusty Krab to stop me arch-nemesis from ruining me business.

Lead Mermaid: T.N.O.P, Grandpa.

Mr. Krabs: T.N.O.P?

Spongebob: [to Mr. Krabs] Totally Not Our Problem.

Episode 18

That Sinking Feeling [7.18a]

Patrick: Knock, knock!

SpongeBob: Who's there?

Patrick: I don't know! [laughs]

---

Squidward: Why were you digging under my yard?

SpongeBob: You told us not to walk on your yard, so, we walked under it.

Squidward: But you buried my house!

Patrick: No need to thank us.

Squidward: THANK YOU?!?

Patrick: You're welcome.

Karate Star [7.18b]

SpongeBob: Patrick, what are you doing?

Patrick: SpongeBob, just the man I was looking for. I wanted to thank you, buddy. [chops his unicycle]

SpongeBob: For what?

Patrick: For teaching me how to karate chop, silly.

SpongeBob: You gotta stop, buddy, you're destroying the entire town!

Patrick: [looks at the destruction] Wooooooooooo.

SpongeBob: Just stop chopping, okay, Patrick?

Patrick: You got it, buddy. No more karate chops! [chops a jail truck]

SpongeBob: You're still chopping!

Patrick: I know! Weird, huh?

SpongeBob: Patrick, stop it!

Patrick: Oh. Okay. I know, I'll stop a chop, with a chop! [Patrick chops his hand and it hits his face]

SpongeBob: [grabs Patrick's arm] You must resist! [flings SpongeBob on a fire hydrant] Ahhah! [Patrick's hand suddenly springs to life and pulls him away and his hand chops Squidward's hedge sculpture]

Episode 20

The Abrasive Side [7.20a]

Mr. Krabs: Ahoy there, SpongeBob! I need you to work an extra 17 hour shift tonight!

SpongeBob: Oh, sure thing Mr.- [flips to Abrasive SB]

Abrasive SpongeBob: Sorry, Krabs! I'm busy! Unless you're payin' me overtime! [leaves]

Mr. Krabs: Overtime? O... o... o-ver-time...? [He gets out a dictionary] Overtime? Hm, let's see here... "over"... "oversold"... "overspend"... Ah! "Overtime: More money per hour". [mutters for a moment] AHHHH! [hides behind desk] Oh, filthy, disgusting word!

---

Squidward: Oh fun. I suppose you want me to play some stupid game, or you'll just follow me around all day and never ever leave, huh?

[He sprays SpongeBob with his hose; SpongeBob flips to Abrasive SB]

Squideard: Tch, huh.

[Abrasive SB snaps his fingers repeatedly]

Abrasive SpongeBob: 'Fraid not, Schnozward! I wouldn't hang out with you for all the money in Krabs' mattress!

Squidward: [hugs him] You don't know how long I've waited to hear those words!

---

Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob! You're right on time for our play date!

SpongeBob: Ooh, I can't wait... [flips to Abrasive SB]

Abrasive SpongeBob: ...to ditch you... [flips to Normal SB]

SpongeBob: ...cause you're my best friend... [flips to Abrasive SB]

Abrasive SpongeBob: ...so beat it, tubby! I don't care for your company! [flips to Normal SB]

SpongeBob: Well, Patrick, are you ready to have some fun?

Patrick: I don't know...! [sobs]

Earworm [7.20b]

SpongeBob: Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo, the musical doodle!

Patrick: [the lights go on] SpongeBob! hold still, this won't hurt a bit.

SpongeBob: Huh?

Sandy: Get him! [Sandy and Mr. Krabs grab SpongeBob to pin him down, but Patrick pounces them]

---

[As Squidward closes his eyes, the earworm slithers across his head, slips under his eyelid, and into his head. As Squidward begins humming, the song he played earlier begins playing in his head. Cut back to the exterior of his home.]

Squidward: Oh, yeah. That's catchy stuff, Squiddy. Catchy stuff. Mmm-hmm. [screams in agony as the episode ends]

Episode 21

Hide and Then What Happens? [7.21a

SpongeBob: Darn it. "Welcome to the end of the world, café and gift shop." [walks in]

Waiter: May I help you, son?

SpongeBob: I'm looking for my friend, Patrick.

Waiter: You mean a big mouthish fellow with a pointy head?

SpongeBob: Exactly.

Waiter: I have not seen him.

SpongeBob: Oh. Oh, well, thanks anyway. [is about to leave]

Waiter: Wait! Is he pink?

SpongeBob: Yeah.

Waiter: Well, in that case, he's sitting right over there.

SpongeBob: I can't believe it! Patrick, it really is you.

Patrick Not-Star: My name is Patrick. [turns around] Patrick Not-Star.

SpongeBob: Patrick Not-Star? Oh, no! [starts crying] You aren't the one I'm seeking! Now I'll never find Patrick! He wins at hide and seek! He wins, he wins!

Patrick Not-Star: So he wins. What's so bad about that?

SpongeBob: Well, if he wins, I lose.

Patrick Not-Star: Did you have fun playing?

SpongeBob: Yeah.

Patrick Not-Star: Well, then, it's okay to lose, as long as you have fun doing it.

SpongeBob: Hey, you're right! Thanks, Patrick Not-Star.

Patrick Not-Star: Just one more thing.

SpongeBob: What's that?

Patrick Not-Star: Do you have a dollar I can borrow?

[SpongeBob takes a dollar from his pocket and gives it to Patrick Not-Star.]

Shellback Shenanigans [7.21b]

Plankton: Yes, SpongeFool, come right back with your complete undoing and victory will be mine! [Gary slithers to Plankton angrily and growls at him] Mommy? Hey, wait!

[Gary beats Plankton up, while Mr. Krabs hears this, and he sees Plankton running out the door]

Mr. Krabs: Plankton? [finds out Gary beat him out of the restaurant and has an idea. Bubbles change the scene. Gary is at the Krusty Krab door letting people in, then Plankton, in a costume, comes up to Gary]

Plankton: Good day, sir. I'm just here to sample some of your delicious Krabby fare. [Gary growls] Whoa, there, fido! [screams and runs away] I'm going! I'm going already!

SpongeBob: Wow, Gary's doing a great job as bouncer, huh, Mr. Krabs? Really earning his pay.

Mr. Krabs: Well, he takes after you, boy. [surprised] Pay?! [the episode ends]

Episode 22

The Masterpiece [7.22a]

[cut to Mr. Krabs being painted golden and having kids climb on him]

Mr. Krabs: Oh, how long do I have to stay like this?

Squidward: As long as you're wanting to sell this many patties. [Mr. Krabs groans]

SpongeBob: I think you look really good, sir. You're golden! [laughs]

Whelk Attack [7.22b]

SpongeBob: Well, I guess this is it, Patrick!

Patrick: You guys go, I'll hold them off. [sadly] And if I fail, at least my sacrifice will delay the inamiable.

SpongeBob: I can't let you do that, Patrick! I'll be the one to lay down my life!

Patrick: Okay, you go!

Sandy: No, I'll go! The whelks don't seem to be after land... critters! [A whelk eats her. SpongeBob and Patrick scream and get swallowed by the whelk]

SpongeBob: Patrick, look at that!

SpongeBob and Patrick: The Krusty Krab! [exhale]

SpongeBob: The gang's all here!

Squidward: We're closed. Come back tomorrow.

Sandy: Hmmm. [takes a sample of the slime] Hey, SpongeBob! Lend me your corneas for a second! You too, Patrick!

SpongeBob and Patrick: Oh, okay. [they remove their corneas]

Sandy: [looks through microscope] Well, golly! No wonder they're all grumpy! Them whelks are full of germs! Why, they're sicker than a bull with the squirrel pox!

SpongeBob: I know what to do! After all, I've had the suds! I just have to absorb the whelk snot, and they'll return to normal! [absorbs all of the slime and cleans off mama whelk]

Mama Whelk: Meow.

SpongeBob: Now, let's get the rest of you cleaned up! [swallows the whelks and swishes them around in his mouth a little, and spits them out]

Whelks: Meow. Meow. Meow.

SpongeBob: Aw, cute! Ah... ah... Ah-choo! [sneezes out Patrick, Sandy, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, and The Krusty Krab. The customers cheer and SpongeBob sniffles] Excuse me! [laughs]

Squidward: Gesundheit.

Mr. Krabs: You did it, boy!

Squidward: [hears the whelks meowing and picks up one of them] So, these things went crazy just because they had the sniffles? [the whelk sneezes on Squidward and everyone laughs]

Patrick: It's in his eye! [SpongeBob sneezes again]

Squidward: Oh, that's hilarious. [the episode ends]

Episode 23

You Don't Know Sponge 7.23a]

SpongeBob: [watches Patrick from the inside of a blender] Patrick's shopping for cookery? Very suspicious. Oh! He's coming back! [hides back in the blender]

[Patrick comes to the blender and presses a button, activating the blender. Patrick then leaves. SpongeBob hand comes out of the blender and turns it off. And SpongeBob, now liquefied, exits the blender.. Cuts to Larry and Patrick purchasing something from the magic shop. As the exit, one of the top hats from the top hat display follows them]

SpongeBob: [from inside the hat] Hold it right there, Patrick! [jumps out of the hat]

Larry: Hi, SpongeBob.

Patrick: We were just coming to see you.

SpongeBob: [angrily] Oh, I'll bet you were... to tell me about your new best friend, Larry, I suppose?!

Larry: Whoa, settle down, little dude. I don't want to get in the middle of, whatever this is. [walks off]

Patrick: Well, Larry is a great guy, loads of talent, and good looks.

SpongeBob: I know, he is pretty amazing...

Patrick: He's not my best friend. He was just helping me buy a present.

SpongeBob: [angrily] Who for? Sandy?

Patrick: No. For my real best friend, SpongeBob SquarePants. [holds out the bag he's holding]

SpongeBob: Really? [takes the bag and opens it up] For me? What is it? [takes out a rubber nose, mustache, and glasses disguise] Oh! I love it! You do know me, best friend!

Patrick: [wearing the same disguise] I got a pair for me too! [laughs]

SpongeBob: Oh, you're the bestest, best friend, Patrick! [puts on his disguise] How do I look?

Patrick: [screams] How should I know, mysterious stranger?! [runs away and screams]

SpongeBob: [sighs] Why me?

Tunnel of Glove [7.23b]

Pearl: Ugh, this ride is lame! Hey! You're allowed to speak now!

SpongeBob: [rapid fire] I bet Mr. Krabs would get a kick out of this ride, don't you think? I mean he's so tough on the outside, but he's got a soft side, too. You know, this one time I was upset because my snail Gary he was sick and he let me leave 5 minutes early. Isn't that the sweetest thing you've ever heard? Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...

Narrator: Two very boring minutes later...

SpongeBob: And theeeen, there was that time that Mr. Krabs yelled at me for getting to work before he did, and he didn't even dock my pay! What a sweet man!

---

SpongeBob: Pearl, I don't think this is the Tunnel of Glove... it's the Tunnel of EVIL!

Episode 24

Krusty Dogs [7.24]

SpongeBob: [grabs balloons from a drawer, puts one in a Krusty Dog] Beautiful. [serves to customer with a air pump connected to the Krusty Dog] Your Krusty Dog, sir, with extra mustard.

Nat: Thanks.

SpongeBob: Can I bring you something else? [silence] Okay, I guess not. Thank you sir. [walks away]

[Nat picks up the Krusty Dog, slowly starts bringing it to his mouth]

SpongeBob: [watches the customer] Wait for it, SpongeBob. Wait for it. Now! [pushes down on air pump, filling up the balloon, and the hot dog]

Sadie: Yeah, remember that, that was... Oh, my Neptune! [sees the hot dog expanding] That Krusty Dog is about to explode!

Nat: What? Where? [the Krusty Dog explodes, shooting meat on all the customers]

All customers: [begin screaming and angrily leaving]

SpongeBob: Have a nice day!

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! What happened in here? Where all me customers?! What are we gonna do?

SpongeBob: Oooh! I know the answer.

The Wreck of the Mauna Loa [7.24b]

Patrick: What's wrong, SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: Just as I thought. We're being followed. THAT'S IT! [opens seaweed, no one's there] Heh, looks like no one was following us to the secret hideout after all!

Mr. Krabs: Found it!

SpongeBob: Hey, were you following us?

Mr. Krabs: No, I just saw the sign. [Scene zooms out Patrick painting a sign reading "SpongeBob and Patrick's Secret Hideout"]

---

[SpongeBob, Patrick, and some fishes are on the boat, which is swinging back and forth]

SpongeBob and Patrick: Whoo-hoo! Ha, ha! Woo-hoo! [Dale, Scooter and Abigail-Marge fall of the boat and they run away. Pieces fall from the boat, hitting the lever, moving it from slow to fast to beyond fast to beyond comprehension. The boat moves back and forth then it goes really fast causing it to go round and round in a circle. People fly out of the boat then the leg on the ground breaks and then the boat flies by itself then it crashes into the ground, causing it to break into pieces, later, SpongeBob and Patrick emerge from the rubble unharmed] Woo-hoo! [whoop and laugh]

SpongeBob: That was awesome!

Patrick: Yeah! Totally realistic!

Harold: [emerging from the debris] Realistic? That realism nearly cost us our lives!

Sally: Mr. Krabs, put all our lives in danger with this careless contraption!

Nazz-Mimi: What were you thinking? Our little boy could've been hurt on your disaster of a ride!

Mr. Krabs: Okay, people, let's not do anything we might regret!

Fish Cop: Too late for that, Krabs. [handcuffs Mr. Krabs]

Mr. Krabs: What—what—what are you talking about? You can't take me to the pokey! I—

Fish Cop: For operating a danger to public safety I can, and I will. [to Nazz-Mimi] Honestly, I think he'll be safer in prison.

[Bubble transition changes the scene. The sign says 'Condemned' on top of the sign that Patrick painted]

SpongeBob: Well, Patrick, I guess we really lost our secret hideout this time.

Patrick: And just when everyone was starting to find out about it, too.

SpongeBob: Oh, who knows, Patrick? The next fun, fun place might be just around the corner, huh?

Patrick: Well, I doubt it.

[SpongeBob and Patrick scream as they sink to the sand, slamming onto a floorboard. SpongeBob sees a sign, revealing it's the actual Mauna Loa ship]

SpongeBob: "The Real Mauna Loa?" Ooh, Patrick, can you keep a secret?

Patrick: [raises his head] Nope!

Episode 25

New Fish in Town [7.25a]

Howard: Hello. My name is Howard.

Squidward: Hello, Howard.

Howard: I noticed this "For Rent" sign. Is this yard still for rent?

Squidward: Sorry, you're too late.

Howard: Hmmm. Howard is disappointed.

Squidward: Yeah, well, aren't we all?

Howard: This looked like it might've been a wonderful place to pursue my passions...

Squidward: [peeks out the door] Passions?

Howard: ...painting...

Squidward: Painting?

Howard: ...playing the bassoon...

Squidward: The bassoon?

Howard: ...and enjoying a nice glass of tea in my front yard.

Squidward: [speaks gibberish] I can hardly believe what I'm hearing. [sighs] Finally, a neighbor with some culture! Oh, I can only imagine! Painting portraits while sipping tea, recumbent bicycling into a museum, playing a duet together at the Bikini Bottom Philharmonic! [sighs again]

Howard: [leaves] Farewell. I should've known all this was too good to be true.

Squidward: [stops him] Wait! Don't go! [panting] I was...just kidding!

Howard: Ok, well, in that case, I should move in right away!

Squidward: Wonderful!

Howard: Make yourself at home!

Love That Squid [7.25b]

SpongeBob: When was the last time you went out on a date?

[Squidward remembers the last date he had was with a female octopus, dancing in 1930's Mickey Mouse style]

Squidward: SpongeBob, you've gotta help me! It's been so long! What do I do?!

---

SpongeBob: [regular voice] Squidward, wait. We haven't covered... Oh! [grabs the purse and looks inside for the lipstick and pops lips] We haven't covered all the tenets of Dating 101 yet. Squidward, wait. There's a couple more tenets! [trips and falls downstairs causing his clothes to fall off, and bumps into Squidward, causing his head to get stuck in the front door] Ow! Ow! Ow! Oh! As I was saying, I'd like to go over just a few more crucial aspects of the first date... [The door melts off Squidward.]

Squidward: [angrily and growling] First date?! That's it!

SpongeBob: Such as...

Squidward: [grabs SpongeBob's mouth] SpongeBob! Would you please just shut it and leave me alone?

SpongeBob: Um, Squidward --

Squidward: Don't "um, Squidward" me, you, you annoying, insignificant, waste of my time!

SpongeBob: Um, Squidward --

Squidward: Don't interrupt me! [continues to yell at SpongeBob underneath the sand] And don't call me, look at me, write me, or even think of me! Because you and I, we are not friends! And never will be.

SpongeBob: Does this mean there won't be a second date?

Squidward: [walks and sees Squilvia] Um, you saw that, didn't you?

Squilvia: Oh, only all of it.

Squidward: And you probably think I'm a mean-spirited brute, which, ironically, is the exact opposite of what you were expecting, right?

Squilvia: Not exactly.

Squidward: Huh?

Squilvia: I think a guy who doesn't suffer fools lightly is totally dreamy! Let's go eat!

Squidward: SpongeBob, I'm dreamy! [Squilvia pulls him away so they can go eat]

SpongeBob: [laughs while waving goodbye] Have fun, you two! SquarePants, your work here is done.

Patrick: [dressed as a woman] Not quite! I was promised a movie, and some plastic popcorn. [the episode ends]

Episode 26

Big Sister Sam [7.26a]

Sam: MORE SPIFFY!

---

Patrick: Aww, Sam. You don't have to go.

Sam: No. I leave now. Late for manicure.

Perfect Chemistry [7.26b]

Sandy: Aw, I knew Plankton was hatching an evil plan the whole time. So I just adjusted the controls to put Plankton where he can't do any harm. Nobody fools a squirrel from Texas! [episode ends with Sandy laughing evilly]

Cast

• Tom Kenny as SpongeBob, Snooty Narrator, TV Voice, Narrator, Chopped Liver, Cop #1, Squidward's House, Jellyfish, Carney Fish #1, Fish #2, Fish #40, Fish #47, Fish #83, Gary, Worker Fish, Customer #5, Cod Darringer, Hans, Cop, Trash Fish, Fish #107, Cowboy, Mail Fish, Bellboy, Crab #1, Beuford, Customer (male), Fish #64, Fish #37a, Director, Cop, Scotsman, Reporter, Man, Mayor, Jellyfish, Dirty Bubble, Pyrite Panderer, Hand Creature, Professor Magma, Snail #13, Cop, Brad, Pet Shop Owner, Snail #1, Fish #107, Snail #2, Big Poodle Worm, Fish #41, Fish #40, Fish #1, Popeye Fish, Old Man Fish, Cop, Old Fish, Fish #106, Kid #2, Smitty, Chef, Radio Voice, Elderly Fish #1, Gang Member #1, Fish #6, Fish #2, Trucker, Nanny, Fish #107, Triplet #2, Keystone Cop #2, Commissioner, Teller, SpongeBob's Grandson, TV Voice, Fish #39, Old Fish, Kid Fish, Citizen, Fish #92, Fish with Plate, Fish #60, Future Fish #331, Phone, Fish #108, Announcer, Soap Opera Fish, Cupid Robot, Police Fish, Prince Robot, Male Customer #6, Fish #107, Male Fish, Tuck, Live Action Broccoli
• Bill Fagerbakke as Patrick, TV Producer, Fish #1, Customer #2, Health Inspector, Assistant, Fish #105, Fish #107, Fax Machine, Dad Fish, Customer, Tibor, Yokel #2, Mayor, Conductor, Passenger E, Fish #107, Fish #37b, Patrick Not-Star, Fish #108, Sam
• Rodger Bumpass as Squidward, Leftover, Fish #107, Customer #3, Announcer, Chintzy McGee, KK Customer, Fish #41, Mailman, Cop #107, Cop, Quarter, Fish #108, Fish #1, Keystone Cop #1, Vendor, Fish #69, Middle Fish, DJ, Fish #107, Bartender, Doctor, Fish #23, Boss, Male Customer #3, Fish #38
• Clancy Brown as Mr. Krabs, Carney Fish #2, Fish #83, Customer #1, Dad, Giant Bell Hop, Customer, Eagle Head, Ranger, Fish #83, Fish #49, Cop #1, Vacuum, General, Fish #40, Passenger F, Guy, Male Customer #3, Fish #37, Clint
• Mr. Lawrence as Plankton, Larry the Lobster, Customer #1, Citizen Fish #45, TV Narrator, Sinister Slug, Cop, Fish #6, Doctor, Fish #37a, Fish #3, Fish #5, Newscaster, Passenger B, Fish #41, Fish #106, Fish #114, Cop Fish, Fish #40, Tour Organizer, Newscaster, Ice Cream Fish, Frank
• Carolyn Lawrence as Sandy, Fish #7, Fish #87
• Dee Bradley Baker as Zeus, Squilliam, Cop, Worker, Newscaster, Billy, Boss, Director, Cloaked One, Boy Fish, Crab #2, Host, Atomic Flounder, Jumbo Shrimp, Elastic Waist Band, Radio DJ, Anchor Fish, Kid Fish, Pirate #1, Bully Snail, Billy, Baby, Small Poodle Worm, Fish #107, Fish #42, Fish #60, Fish #41, Fish #27, Security Guard, Rrarrg, Fish #41, Fish #41, Eel, Old Man Jenkins, Fish #107, Kid #1, Cletus, Dude Fish, Fish #4, Ancient Warrior, Perch Perkins, Porter, Baby Triplet, Werewolf, Seahorses, Fish #41, Woman Fish, Newscaster, Fish #85, Fish #115, Fish #107, Future Fish #1, Clams, Fish #85, Fish #1, Worm, Gill, Sea Chicken, Whelks, News Anchor, Baby Whelks, Scallop, Male Fish, Clerk, Newscaster, Announcer, Fish #26, Crawly Clown Robot, Male Customer #1, Paramedic #25, Male Customer #7, Fish #92, Fish Cop, Howard
• Lori Alan as Pearl, Grandma, Mermaid #2, Girl Fish #104
• Jill Talley as Twin #1, Twin #2, Karen, Fish #48, Fish #49, Customer #4, Fish #157, Mom, Gramma, Fish #45, Fish #46, Mermaid #1, Mermaid #3, Miss McGuffin, Fish #49, Nurse #1, Nurse #2, Cashier, Kids, Billy, Female Customer #2, Fish #46, Fish #47, Fish #48
• Sirena Irwin as Agent Fish, Actress, Reporter, Kid Fish, Fortune Teller, Fish #46, Miss Appear, Mary, Monica, Fish #115, Mermaid #4, Betsy, Lady Fish #1, Elderly Female Fish #2, Elderly Female Fish #1, Lady Fish, Little Girl Fish, Fish #45, Girl Fish #7, Roxanne Robot, Mom, Female Customer #1, Granny, Squilvia, Lady Fish
• Mary Jo Catlett as Mrs. Puff
• Chiba as Kitten
• Brian Dolye Murray as Flying Dutchman
• Bob Joles as Man Ray
• Ernest Borgnine as Mermaid Man
• Tim Conway as Barnacle Boy
• Adam West as Young Mermaid Man
• Burt Ward as Young Barnacle Boy
• Paul Tibbitt as Plankton's Granddad, Charles
• Loraine Newman as Grandma Plankton, Nurse
• Ginnifer Goodwin as Lead Mermaid
• Kristen Wiig as Madame Hagfish
• Mark Fite as Junior, Ol' Jim, Male Customer #5, Male Customer #8, Paramedic #26
• Amy Sedaris as Ma Angler
• Alan Smart as Eel
• Marion Ross as Grandma SquarePants