Stella
From Wikiquote
Stella is an adaptation of the Stella comedy troupe's (Michael Ian Black, Michael Showalter, and David Wain) stage show and short films. The series takes a peak in the lives of the three seemingly puerile men, who play themselves, always dressed in suits, living together in a New York apartment, and appearing to have no real jobs.
Contents |
[edit] Season 1
[edit] "Pilot"
- Michael Ian Black: Do it, do it, do it old maid!
- Libby Green: David, do you know my husband, Edward Norton?
- David: Not personally, but I'm a fan!
- Micheal Ian Black: Hey here's a compromise, instead of listening to funkROCK, why don't we listen to FUNKrock.
- Libby: So the unit has 3,000 sq. feet, three beds, three baths, and a nursery.
- David: Oh, well, we wouldn't be needing a nursery.
- Michael Ian Black: Actually Michael might, because he's kind of a cry baby.
- Michael: I am not a cry baby!
- Michael Ian Black: Then why are you about to cry?
- Michael: Michael, can we please discuss this out on the terrace?
[edit] "Campaign"
- David Wain: How's the soup, Mike?
- Michael Ian Black: It's good.
- David Wain: Yeah, you won't be saying that after I kill you.
[edit] "Office Party"
- Michael Ian Black: America is the greatest country in the world. Think of all the great things that have come from America...
- Michael Showalter: Rugby.
- David Wain: Chicken tikka masala.
- Michael Ian Black: Chinese people.
- Michael Showalter: ASS!
- David Wain: [in a British accent] Harry Potter.
- Michael Ian Black: Rubber balls and liquor.
- Michael Showalter: Then I say something.
- Michael Ian Black: I take my coffee the same way I take my women: Strong. Black. And proud.
- Michael Showalter: Today's global economy waits for no man.
- Michael Ian Black: Interconnectivity... Synergy...
- Michael Showalter: Synchronicity... Zenyatta Mondatta...
- Michael Ian Black: The Dream of the Blue Turtles...
- Michael Showalter: Simon and Garfunkel’s Greatest Hits.
[edit] "Coffee Shop"
- Julie: [talking to Richard] But somebody once told me that sometimes you have to know when to move on.
- Michael Showalter: It was me. I told you.
[edit] "Paper Route"
- Michael Ian Black: Nothing, I, uh, thought I saw a potato..
- Michael Showalter: No, no. It ain't goin' down like that, ese.
[edit] "Meeting Girls"
- Michael Ian Black: How did you get past security without a boarding pass?
- David Wain: I know, it's weird.
- David Wain: You remind me of fast food.
- Woman: [giggling] Oh, why's that?
- David Wain: Cause I wanna take you out.
- Woman: [flattered, giggling] Oh, haha.
- David Wain: ..And then I wanna eat you in my car.
- Michael Ian Black: I'm gonna go rub one out and call it a night.
- Michael Showalter: I like your tat.
- Jemma: Thanks, I did it myself.
- Michael Showalter: Really?
- Jemma: I like pain.
- Michael Showalter: I like cookies.
[edit] "Camping"
- Michael Showalter: Why are you pointing the gun at me, David? I'm trying to help you!
- David: I know, it's weird..
- David: Sho's a real turkey, right here.
- Michael Showalter: I am not a turkey, David.
- David: I'm just-
- Michael Showalter: I AM NOT A TURKEY!
- David: Michael, it was just a joke.
- Michael Showalter: [crying] It didn't seem very funny..
- Michael Ian Black: What are we going to do?
- David: Call Marcus!
- Michael Ian Black: Yeah, call Marcus.
- Michael Showalter: Who's Marcus?
- Michael Ian Black: I don't know.
- David: I know I can hunt but can Mike hunt? And Mike hunt?
- Mountain Man: Of course.
- David: No, no, no. But you say it.
- Mountain Man: Mike hunt. What are you guys laughing at? All I said was "Mike hunt." Now what's so funny about Mike hunt?
- Michael Showalter: I'm cold.
- Michael Ian Black: I'm hungry.
- David: I'm David. [Makes fart sound]
[edit] "Novel"
- Michael Ian Black: I don't think I'm overstating anything when I say that I'm really mad at Jane Burroughs.
- David: We can just make another copy.
- Michael Ian Black: Oh, no you don't. You start doing that, the next thing you know you got Chinese bootleggers selling these things on the streets of Chow Ming for a nickel and a corn dog.
- Michael Showalter: That's what I was about to say.
- David: What's the first thing you see when you open a book?
- Michael Showalter: The inscription.
- David: Yes! How about "To Marcus"?
- Michael Ian Black: Yeah, yeah. "To Marcus."
- Michael Showalter: Who's Marcus? Guys, who the hell is Marcus?
- Michael Ian Black: I know, I don't know.
- Michael Ian Black: You'll never get away with this Jane. What happens when we tell everyone what you've done?
- Jane: Do not make me laugh. I am Jane Burroughs, the darling of the literary establishment. And who are you? Three buffoons.
- Michael Showalter: Oh yeah? Well this balloon is going to kick your ass, right now.
- Jane: David?
- David: Yes, Jane?
- Jane: Please, call me Jane..
- David Wain: Stupid question but, what is a book?
- Jane: OMG, it's baby deer!
- [The guys turn around while Jane runs away]
- David Wain: Hey, you guys, she's gone.
- Michael Showalter: There was no baby deer..
- Michael Ian Black: You mean the entire time she was talking about the baby deer, she was lying?
- David: Michael!
- Michael Showalter: I just threw..our novel in the fireplace and that was wrong of me and I'll be the first person to admit it..
- Michael Ian Black: I didn't even know we had a fireplace.
[edit] "Vegetables"
- Michael Ian Black: Do I have wood? Yeah. I've got so much wood I could be a forest right now.
[edit] "Amusement Park"
- David Wain: Let's go to an amusement park...in our minds...
- Michael Showalter: David went to Juliard, Michael. He's a classical violinist!
- David: And I'm a classical pianist!
- Michael Ian Black: You're a classical dick, is what you are!
