Summer Heights High

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Summer Heights High (5 September 2007 – 24 October 2007) is an Australian television mockumentary series written by and starring Chris Lilley. It is a satirical parody of high school life epitomised by its three protagonists: effeminate and megalomaniac "Director of Performing Arts" Mr G; self-absorbed, privileged teenager Ja'mie King; and disobedient, vulgar Tongan student Jonah Takalua. It lampoons Australian high school life and many aspects of the human condition and is filmed in a documentary style, with non-actors playing supporting characters.

Season 1[edit]

Episode one[edit]

Jonah: There’s a difference between bullying and joking around. We were joking around with him, Sir. He doesn’t get it, it’s not my fault!

Doug: How is it ok for you to bully Ben?
Jonah: 'Cause he's a Ranga.
Doug: A what?
Jonah A Ranga sir. 'Cause he's got red hair. Orangutan, that's what we call him.
Doug: And does that make it ok for him to be bullied, because he has red hair?
Jonah Well, people are racist to FOB's...
Leon: To us.
Jonah So, so we can be racist to Rangas.
Doug: But red-heads aren't a race, Jonah.
Leon: But sir, there's heaps of them. They're everywhere.

Ja'mie: At Hillford, girls like me are offered a world of opportunity. Sport, drama, music and more music, and of course, academia. It’s a well-rounded education, in an amazing environment.

Ja'mie: Oh my god, so you’re going to Hillford? That’s really cool. You’ll fit in, there’s so many Asians there.”

Mr G: ...and she's dead. Slap the butcher!”

Mr G: Coffee, coffee, coffee before we teachy, teachy!

Mr G: My name is Greg Gregson. The kids at school call me Mr. G., which is one of the – sort of an abbreviation some of the more popular teachers seem to get – and I’ve been a senior drama teacher here at Summer Heights for nine years now.

Mr G: Hello! This is um, Toby, one of our specials from the special education centre that we have here at the school. That’s a separate part of the school, down the bottom, but we allow them to play with the normal kids at recess and lunch.”

Ja'mie: When I meet girls they’re usually really threatened straight away, right. So that I meet them and then they’re like, ‘oh my god, she’s so hot. I’m never gonna be friends with her.’ And then I go up to them and I’m like, ‘Hi! How you doing?’ and they’re really surprised that I’m giving them the time of day.

Mr G: That’s what I always say, she’s stolen that from me. ‘On and off stage.’

Mr G: [Singing] Welcome to Mr G’s room, G’s room, G’s room. Welcome to Mr G’s room, come inside!

Episode two[edit]

Ja'mie: I’m really nervous this morning, ‘cause it’s my actual first day. And so, like last night I couldn’t sleep, and I woke up this morning and I forgot to feed the guinea pig.

Mr G: You have to be very careful when it comes to personal property. I have an ‘I don’t touch yours, you don’t touch mine’ policy.

Jonah: People always say I’m disruptive. They don’t even know that I’m just trying to make things more fun, and more interactive. Kids in the class don’t even care, because they’re doing their work, and they’re concentrating and it’s boring, and all of a sudden they get a joke. And they just get a little break from their work and they get to laugh. If that’s being disruptive, then (pause) fuck (pause) you. That’s not disruptive that’s entertainment.

Ja'mie: Oh you’ve got wheelchair people, that’s so cute! Oh my god I love disabled people. We don’t have them at our school. We’ve got like one burns victim, but we don’t have any mentally retarded people.

Mr G: And you’ll have an awkward moment where you say, ’That’s my plunger’, and you know, difficulty arises there.

Jonah: Fuck you, Miss. I said ‘puck you,’ with a P. Don’t you even know how to spell, Miss?

Ja'mie: They set me up with this girl called Ashley, and she’s supposed to like take me to classes and introduce me to her friends and stuff. And seriously, like I don’t wanna be a bitch, but she’s like the fugliest girl I’ve ever met in my life.

Mr G: I’m Director of Performing Arts. Spread it!

Jonah: I like what you’re wearing Miss. It looks nice on you. Is that from Sussan’s?

Ja'mie: I was walking ‘round the playground going, ‘Are there any decent-looking girls here?’