Super Mario Bros. (film)
From Wikiquote
Super Mario Bros. is a 1993 live-action film loosely based on the popular video game series of the same name. The film stars Bob Hoskins as Mario and John Leguizamo as Luigi.
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[edit] Luigi
- Hey Mario, look! I grew an inch!
- Anything is possible, Mario, you just gotta believe in it.
- Remember, trust the fungus.
- I hope the guy downstairs knows where we're goin'.
- [Lena is fossilized in a wall] Wow, she sure makes an impression.
[edit] Mario
- Great, a building with athlete's foot.
- Strap your belt on, kid. We're going in!
- Treat your tools like a friend. Keep 'em by you. Never let 'em down, and they're always at your side.
- Mario Brothers Plumbing. No leak too small.
- I'm being arrested for being a plumber!
- Everybody's got tap water! 3 bucks!
- No woman can resist the charm of a Mario.
- You better get a lawyer or get us out of this chicken coop!
- What my brother is trying to say, is he doesn't know what to say.
- And he is... outta here!
[edit] King Koopa
- My, my, someone got up on the wrong side of the nest this morning.
- [Bathing in mud] Do you know what I love about mud? It's clean and it's dirty at the same time.
- I'll kill that plumber.
- You may think of evolution as... an upward process. Things evolve from primeval slime, up to single-celled organisms, up to... intelligent life. De-evolution, of course, works the opposite way. Back to... simpler forms. For instance, even our musical friend Toad... can become... a loyal child of the royal family: Goombas!
- Hand out the devolution guns! Prepare for destiny!... Where's my pizza?
- Look at this place. Pathetic. It gets worse every day. The humans on the other side have a world full of resources. Ready for the taking. Imagine: an endless supply of food, clean air, water. And what are we stuck with? This... pithole, germs everywhere, fungus. For 65 million years, we've been exhiled here after the meteorite stuck while mammals roamed freely in the other dimension! Ha! Well not for long!
- [pretending to be an attourney for the arrested Marios] I'm Larry Lazard, of "Lazard, Lazard, Conda, Dactyl, & Cohen".
- I've just found out that I have saboteurs in the tower! I still do not have the meteorite piece! I'm about to loose everything! We can talk about this later, if later even occurs!
[edit] Princess Daisy
- I'm a vegetarian, I don't eat anything with a face.
- These are all strange new species. Look at this, the way these bones fit here, and the opposable thumb. It's almost as if he were a monster trying to be a human being.
[edit] Drippy's Restaurant
- If it don't bleed, it ain't lunch.
[edit] Dialogue
- Pizza Delivery Man: Python Pizza here, may I help you?
- King Koopa: King Koopa here.
- Pizza Delivery Man: Oh, yes sir.
- King Koopa: I'd like the Koopa Special.
- Pizza Delivery Man: Pterodactyl tail on that?
- King Koopa: Yes. Dino, lizard, hold the mammal, no worms... and, uh, spicy.
- Luigi: [As he drives the van, saying he has a feeling he should go this way] You know, I bet there's sea turtles that travel thousands of miles on instinct.
- Mario: Not in New York traffic, they don't.
- Sergeant Simon: Name.
- Mario: Mario.
- Sergeant Simon: Last name.
- Mario: Mario.
- Sergeant Simon: And you?
- Luigi: Luigi.
- Sergeant Simon: Luigi Luigi?
- Luigi: No, Luigi Mario.
- Sergeant Simon: Okay how many Marios are there between the two of you?
- Luigi: Three: Mario Mario and Luigi Mario.
- [Toad is singing]
- Toad: Hey, what's another word that rhymes with "Dimension"?
- Mario: Yeah, tension. And I'm full of it, so shut up.
- [In the police car, a wanted poster of Luigi and Mario flashes on a TV screen naming them Alien Plumbers]
- Luigi Mario: Aliens? We gotta deal with aliens too?
- Mario Mario: Luigi, we're the aliens.
- Luigi Mario: We are? Wow, cool.
- Sergeant Simon: Nobody touches President Koopa.
- Luigi: [rubbing his eyes in pain] But he said he was...
- King Koopa: -One evil, egg sucking son of a snake. Did I lie?
- [Mario and Luigi are escaping the jail]
- Luigi: They got us! What're we gonna do?
- Mario: [points to a police car] Number one: We steal this car! [Luigi heads for driver's seat, but Mario pushes him out of the way] Number two: I'm driving!
- King Koopa: Now... where's the rock?
- [Iggy and Spike look at each other, then at Koopa]
- Iggy and Spike: [together] Rock, sir?
- King Koopa: The meteorite piece that she wears around her neck, and I told you not to forget it!
- Spike: That rock!
- Iggy: I told you not to forget it!
- King Koopa: And I told *you* to remind him! Without that rock, the meteorite lays dormant! I'll not be able to merge the dimensions! Where is it?
- Iggy and Spike: [together] The plumbers took it.
- King Koopa: [whispers] Plumbers? [to Lena] Plumber alert!
- [the Marios try to escape in a police car]
- Mario: Where's the starter on this thing?
- Luigi: I got a feeling about this, Mario...
- [figures out the strange controls to start the car]
- Mario: How do you know how to do that?
- Luigi: Cuz I been sitting on my butt all day playing video games, that's what.
- [Luigi and Mario are escaping in a police car]
- Luigi: Hey, Mario, you're going the wrong way!
- Mario: How would you know?
- Luigi: Trust me.
- Mario: Ha!
- Mario: [drives towards a fork] Which way?
- Luigi: Take the parkway!
- Mario: Right!
- [drives into a tunnel instead]
- Luigi: [smiles] Perfect, perfect.
- Mario: You said the parkway!
- Luigi: I know, but I wanted the tunnel, so I said parkway cuz I knew you'd go the opposite way I suggested! Ha!
- Luigi: I think it's trying to communicate with us...
- Mario: Luigi, it's a mushroom!
- [Luigi and Mario are standing in front of a huge pit]
- Mario: How will we get across?
- Luigi: I've got a feeling. There's one way.
- Mario: You gonna jump?
- Luigi: C'mon, there's no way! [runs and jumps into the pit] Aaaaaaaaa!
- Mario: Luigi!!! [closes his eyes, then opens them and looks down, surprised]
- Luigi: [hanging in the air above Mario] I'm flying! I'm flying! C'mon, all you have to do is trust, c'mon! Just trust, c'mon!
- Mario: [shocked] You're flying!
- Luigi: C'mon, Mario!
- Mario: Okay. Okay.
- Luigi: C'mon, c'mon! [waves his hand in the air and suddenly realizes that he is hanging on a hook] No-no-no-no, wait, wait, Mario, it's not flying, it's just...
- Mario: [falling down] Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! [lands on a fungus web in the pit and springs into the air, then tries to catch Luigi's hands but doesn't succeed because Luigi closed his eyes with his hands] Aaaaa, Luigi!
- Luigi: [opening his eyes] Oops! Sorry. [Mario falls down and springs up once more, catching Luigi's hands] Mario, I caught you!
- Mario: [shocked even more] Luigi, I'm alive!
[edit] Taglines
- This ain't no game!
- Can two plumbers save the world from going down the drain?
