Superhero Movie

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Superhero Movie is a 2008 comedy film that spoofs the superhero genre. It was written and directed by Craig Mazin and produced by David Zucker and Robert K. Weiss.

Main Character Quotes[edit]

Rick Riker/Dragonfly[edit]

  • I'm looking seriously over the city...in a squatting position.
  • I met a guy at Craigslist.
  • My parents were brutally murdered.
  • Those are Celine Dion lyrics!
  • If I hadn't pushed her out of the way she would have die...aaaaaaah!
  • Oh, shit.
  • I realize, we can never be together.
  • I think I have...superpowers!

Lou Landers/Hourglass[edit]

  • Why yes. This is, healthy cough blood.
  • I just shat my pants.
  • I met a girl at Craigslist.
  • No, crazy is hearin' voices, talkin' to cats, datin' Paula Abdul. I am not crazy; I...am a visionary!
  • Are you frickin' insane?!
  • Good. You're a hard-working fine young man. Let's hope you're not brutally murdered, too!

Uncle Albert[edit]

  • With great power comes hot bitches.
  • Look at you, eatin' junk food, wearin' fake beards.
  • You did surgery on me?
  • I can't breathe; you're kneelin' on my balls!
  • And once a month you'll bleed from your vagina!
  • Don't forget about the bitches.

Major Character Quotes[edit]

Lance Landers[edit]

  • Watch where you're going in slo-mo, dipshit!
  • I'll drive.

Stephen Hawking[edit]

  • That's a lie. I think of suicide every single day.
  • Whatever!
  • Hey anyone want to get high? I have some hash with me. White guy in the dreads, you know what I am talking about? Can I get a what-what? Holla! I've got a stiff pole for your sweet hole. Anyone? Anyone? Pussies!
  • You have an incredible ass!
  • [before falling down afrer Albert pushed him] Shiiiit!...

Dr. Storm[edit]

  • Take it out, with another piece of glass!
  • I'll get the tweezers.

Dr. Whitby[edit]

  • No, it's not your dead wife.
  • Yes, you see, we confused you with one of our sex-change patients, but don't worry, we didn't remove your penis. We did, however, cut off your testicles, but since your wife's dead, you won't be needin' 'em!
  • She can't walk, she can't talk. She has no control over her bowels.
  • Rick That's terrible!
  • I know. I went ahead and set up a myspace account for her under "Crazyshitmachine" [Rick look at him, appaled]. She already has 40 friends
  • Yes I know...[while fainting}

Professor Xavier[edit]

  • How do I know that baby's even mine?!
  • SHIT!
  • Squatting on a glass table...two girls...one cup...you know what to do!
  • We have people who can walk through walls. And we have people who think they can walk through walls!

Minor Character Quotes[edit]

Mrs. Xavier[edit]

  • Because he can do this!
  • Make a costume, shit-head! I swear, they're gettin' dumber and dumber every year!
  • How's that feel, Invisi-Bitch?!

Human Torch[edit]

  • Dude, you're on my gargoyle.
  • What are you doing?
  • Get a blanket or something!
  • Holy shit!
  • Get the fire extinguisher!
  • Aah, stop you idiot!

Dialogue[edit]

Lance Landers: Ah, Rick Riker. How are your parents?
Rick: They died violently nine years ago.
Lance Landers: But, otherwise okay?

Mental Hospital Patient: [on phone] No, you listen to me! I want that story on my desk or you're fired! [hangs up phone and turns to Rick] Who the hell are you?!
Rick: My name's Rick Riker, sir. I was wondering if you had a job opening for--
Mental Hospital Patient: Job?! How dare you come in here and ask me for a job! I'm the editor-in-chief! I know the mayor of Venus! Hamburgers can see the future! [carried out of the office by two men]
Editor-in-Chief: Sorry about that. We share the building with a mental hospital.

Dr. Whitby: [about Aunt Lucille] She can't walk, she can't talk. She has no control over her bowels.
Rick: That's terrible!
Dr. Whitby: I know. I went ahead and set up a MySpace account for her under "Crazyshitmachine" [Rick looks at him, appaled]. She already has 40 friends.

Professor Xavier: Hello, Rick.
Rick: Who are you and how do you know my name?
Professor Xavier: I'm a physic.
Rick: Prove it.
Professor Xavier: Think of any number between 1 and 1000 and I'll tell you what it is.
Rick: Nine.
Professor Xavier: Not out loud, dumbass! Come with me, you stupid son-of-a-bitch.

Chief Karlin: The lady was badly hurt.
Interviewer: How was she hurt?
Chief Karlin: Badly!

Cast[edit]

  • Drake Bell as Rick Riker/Dragonfly
  • Sara Paxton as Jill Johnson
  • Christopher McDonald as Lou Landers/Hourglass
  • Leslie Nielsen as Uncle Albert
  • Kevin Hart as Trey
  • Marion Ross as Aunt Lucille
  • Ryan Hansen as Lance Landers
  • Robert Joy as Stephen Hawking
  • Brent Spiner as Dr. Strom
  • Jeffrey Tambor as Dr. Whitby
  • Tracy Morgan as Professor Xavier
  • Regina Hall as Mrs. Xavier
  • Pamela Anderson as the Invisible Girl
  • Simon Rex as Human Torch
  • Craig Bierko as Wolverine

External links[edit]

Wikipedia
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