Superhero Movie

From Wikiquote
Jump to: navigation, search

Superhero Movie is a 2008 comedy film that spoofs the superhero genre. It was written and directed by Craig Mazin and produced by David Zucker and Robert K. Weiss.

Main Character Quotes[edit]

Rick Riker/Dragonfly[edit]

  • I'm looking seriously over the city...in a squatting position.
  • I met a guy at Craigslist.
  • My parents were brutally murdered.
  • I...I guess so.
  • Those are Celine Dion lyrics!
  • If I hadn't pushed her out of the way she would have die...aaaaaaah!
  • Oh, shit.
  • I realize, we can never be together.
  • I think I have...superpowers!

Lou Landers/Hourglass[edit]

  • Why yes. This is, healthy cough blood.
  • We have to go.
  • I just shit my pants.
  • I met a girl at Craigslist.
  • No, crazy is hearin' voices, talkin' to cats, datin' Paula Abdul. I am not crazy; I...am a visionary!
  • Are you frickin' insane?!
  • But, otherwise okay?
  • Good. You're a hard-working fine young man. Let's hope you're not brutally murdered, too!

Uncle Albert[edit]

  • With great power comes hot bitches.
  • Look at you, eatin' junk food, wearin' fake beards.
  • You did surgery on me?
  • I can't breathe; you're kneelin' on my balls!
  • And once a month you'll bleed from your vagina!
  • Don't forget about the bitches.

Major Character Quotes[edit]

Lance Landers[edit]

  • Why?
  • Watch where you're going in slo-mo, dipshit!
  • I'll drive.

Chief Karlin[edit]

  • The lady was badly hurt.

[Interviewer]: How was she hurt?

  • Badly!

Stephen Hawking[edit]

  • That's a lie. I think of suicide every single day.
  • Whatever!
  • Hey anyone want to get high? I have some hash with me. White guy in the dreads, you know what I am talking about? Can I get a what-what? Holla! I've got a stiff pole for your sweet hole. Anyone? Anyone? Pussi
  • You have an incredible ass!
  • [before falling down afrer Albert pushed him] Shiiiit!...

Dr. Storm[edit]

  • Take it out, with another piece of glass!
  • I'll get the tweezers.

Dr. Whitby[edit]

  • No, it's not your dead wife.
  • Yes, you see, we confused you with one of our sex-change patients, but don't worry, we didn't remove your penis. We did, however, cut off your testicles, but since your wife's dead, you won't be needin' 'em!
  • She can't walk, she can't talk. She has no control over her bowels
*[Rick] That's terrible!
  • I know. I went ahead and set up a myspace account for her under "Crazyshitmachine" [Rick look at him, appaled]. She already has 40 friends
  • Yes I know...(while fainting)

Professor Xavier[edit]

  • How do I know that baby's even mine?!
  • SHIT!
  • Squatting on a glass table...two girls...one cup...you know what to do!
  • We have people who can walk through walls. And we have people who think they can walk through walls!

Minor Character Quotes[edit]

Mrs. Xavier[edit]

  • Because he can do this!
  • Make a costume, shit-head! I swear, they're gettin' dumber and dumber every year!
  • How's that feel, Invisi-Bitch?!

Human Torch[edit]

  • Dude, you're on my gargoyle.
  • What are you doing?
  • Get a blanket or something.
  • Holy Shit.
  • Get the fire extinguisher.
  • Aah stop you idiot.

Unnamed Character Quotes[edit]

Journalist[edit]

  • How was she hurt?

Mental Hospital Patient[edit]

  • I'm the editor-in-chief! I know the mayor of Venus! Hamburgers can see the future!

The Editor-in-Chief[edit]

  • Sorry about that, we share the building with a mental hospital!

Other Quotes[edit]

Announcer[edit]

  • Mr. Landers has just*(clapping)