Survivor (U.S. TV show)

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Survivor is a popular reality television program produced by many countries throughout the world.

Contents

Jeff's repeated lines[edit]

  • Sixteen Americans, abandoned/marooned ... (followed by a description of the game site)
  • Previously on... Survivor...
  • 36 days ago...
  • 39 days, (number of castaways) people, ONE... SURVIVOR!
  • Come on in, guys!
  • (tribe's name), getting your first look at the new (tribe's name) tribe, (player's name) voted out at the first/last tribal council.
  • First thing's first. Immunity, back up for grabs.
  • Let's get to today's reward/immunity challenge.
  • Here is how it works./Here is how it's gonna work.
  • Make sense?
  • Want to know what you're playing for?
  • Worth playing for?
  • Take your spots, wait for my Go!
  • This is for reward/immunity!
  • Survivors ready... go!
  • (tribe's name) I've got nothing for you, head back to camp.
  • (starting from Season 14) If anyone has the hidden immunity idol and you want to play it, now's the time to do so.
  • (amount of castaways left) are left. Who will be voted out tonight?
  • Behind each of you is a torch. Grab a torch and approach the flame. Dip it in and get fire. This is important, because in this game, fire represents life. Once your fire is gone, so are you.
  • ... can not be voted out tonight, everybody else is fair game.
  • It is time to vote.
  • I'll go tally the votes.
  • Once the votes are read, the decision is final, the person voted out will be asked to leave the tribal council area immediately.
  • I'll read the votes.
  • First vote... (name of contestant)
  • (from Seasons 1-6) Last vote... (name of contestant)
  • We're tied.
  • That's enough. No need to read the other votes.
  • (numbers of votes) votes (contestant's name), (numbers of votes) votes (other contestant's name). One vote left.
  • 1st/2nd/3rd/4th/5th/etc. person voted out of (survivor season)...
  • You need to bring me your torch.
  • (contestant's name), the tribe has spoken.
  • Time for you to go.
  • You can head back to camp.
  • Next time on... Survivor...
  • Stay tuned for scenes from our next episode.
  • (tribe's name), this is your first look at the new (other tribe's name), (contestant's name) voted out last night.
  • (contestant/team's name) wins the reward/immunity! (not regularly used in Seasons 1-4)
  • We're now bringing the members of our jury...
  • Two will go on to face the jury... ONE will outlast all the rest... and become the Sole Survivor!
  • You WANT to see your name on the parchment.
  • There are seven votes, it takes four to win.
  • There are eight votes. it takes five to win,
  • There are nine votes. it takes five to win,
  • The winner of (survivor season)...

Survivor: Borneo[edit]

Rudy: I don't like her. And I never will!
Rudy: Me and Richard got to be pretty good friends. Not in a homosexual way, that's for sure.

Survivor: The Australian Outback[edit]

Unknown episode[edit]

Colby: If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a merry Christmas.

Colby: I may be a lot of things, but I ain't no Hershey bar.

Kimmi: Don't wave your finger in my face!
Alicia: I will ALWAYS wave my finger in your face.

Episode 205[edit]

Jeff Probst: (after Kimmi was voted out at a rainy Tribal Council) The tribe and mother nature has spoken.

Episode 214[edit]

(crying to his mother while dining with her after winning numerous challenges)

Colby: You know what I ate today? Four spoonfuls of rice. Twice a day, everyday.

Survivor: Marquesas[edit]

Neleh (several times): Oh my heck!

John (after being injured from a sea urchin): I need someone who can pee on my hand!

Survivor: Thailand[edit]

Ted: I'm not even attracted to you!

Survivor: The Amazon[edit]

Episode 607[edit]

Rob: (voting for Roger) Here comes tonight's long distance dedication. It goes out to Rob from New York. He writes, 'Dear Casey, there is a mean old man in my life that's about to leave. Can you please play something appropriate for me?' Well, Rob, here's your request—Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye.

Survivor: Pearl Islands[edit]

Episode 705[edit]

Jeff: What is this about?
Johnny Fairplay: This this... that's ... that's Johnny Fairplay right there. That's the "F", that's the "Y". I'm all in between. Johnny Fairplay. I play fair. No cheating.

Episode 707[edit]

Drake Tribal Council[edit]

Jon: (voting confessional against Shawn) F*** you.

Morgan Tribal Council[edit]

(After the discussion about Osten deciding to quit the game, Jeff and the tribe ultimately honor his wishes)

Jeff: Well, Osten - I don't pretend to know what you're thinking either, but I know this: I've been to about a hundred Tribal Councils. Never, ever seen anybody lay down their torch. So, this is a first for me. Seems unanimous. I just want to make sure. Savage - you're going to indulge Osten, sending him home?
Andrew: Yes.
Jeff: Darrah?
Darrah: Yeah.
Jeff: Rhino?
Ryan O.: Yep.
Jeff: T?
Tijuana: Yes.
Jeff: No need to vote and waste any more time. Grab your torch.

(Osten grabs his torch and places it into the ceremonial holder)

Jeff: Osten, per your wishes (he snuffs out the torch)...go home."

(Osten leaves the Tribal Council area and Jeff pulls his torch out of the holder and throws it to the ground)

Jeff: With all due respect to Osten, people work too damn hard to stay in this game and fight to stay alive. He wants to lay his torch down? So it shall be. Who knows? Maybe this is the best thing to happen to the Morgan tribe. All I know is, you will head back to camp. Soon, a new tribe member will arrive, and I can promise you this: That person wants to be in this game. Grab your torches, head on back. Good night.

Episode 711[edit]

Jon (Jonny Fairplay): How's Grandma?
Dan ("Thunder" Dan Fields), Jon's friend: She died, dude. (Jon's grandmother was actually alive and well; this exchange was a deliberately staged ploy to get sympathy from the other contestants.)

Jon: My grandmother's sitting home watching Jerry Springer right now. (laughs)

Survivor: All Stars[edit]

Episode 802[edit]

Colby: We got an overweight, gay, naked man walking around, and no one seems to let it bother them.

Episode 803[edit]

Colby: Is it possible to call a gay man a stud?

Episode 804[edit]

Amber: I'm out here to play Survivor. I'm not out here to play a dating game. (Amber went on to win the game and, afterwards, marry runner up Rob Mariano.)

Episode 805[edit]

Rupert: Our camp was Hobo Junction; theirs is the Taj Mahal.

Rich: I've been bamboozled!

Episode 806[edit]

Shii Ann: Captain America with his good teeth, nice smile, handsome guy... he doesn't respect my game, I don't necessarily respect his.

Jeff Probst: Before we get to today's challenge, I want to address something that happened yesterday. Richard Hatch sorta being inappropriate?
Sue Hawk: Sorta
Jeff: Anybody have any comments?
Sue: I was sexually violated. To have some guy come up, he passed a half a dozen people on platforms and never touched um.
Jeff: Sue, I'm, I'm..
Sue: And he went too far, and he crossed the line, and he crossed the line with me.
Jeff: Well..
Sue: OK, I know you don't know, and you didn't see it because his back was to you and he's too big of a F****** slob to see around. I WAS VIOLATED, HUMILIATED, DEHUMANIZED AND TOTALLY SPENT, JEFF! IT WASN'T SORTA, JEFF! Cause your, his back was to you, Jeff. That's all I' saying, and I'm F****** spent, and I'm done with this F****** game. There is no way that I can continue with my F****** emotions pushing the ground that much.
Jeff: So, OK so when you say you're done with the game, as in, you want out of the game?
Sue: I'm done, I'm walking away.
Jeff: Let me ask you guys, did anything come up at your camp about it?
Mogo Mogo Tribe: No, we didn't know.
Sue: It was all done in front of our platform.
Colby Donaldson: Yeah, I saw it Sue, and the thing is were, trust me, I mean, you know from the first season, maybe you guys don't, living with a guy being naked sucks because he's naked all the time.
Sue: I don't give a sh** that he is naked, if he would have just walked by me and never F****** touched me it would have been fine. But he did, and that is the F****** point.
Jeff: Does it have any impact that he is out of the game, or not?
Sue: No, I, I, no, my mind left this game 24 hours ago.
Jeff: Lets, uh, if we can bring in the boat, A.S.A.P
Shii Ann Huang: I'm so sorry Sue, I'm so sorry. I didn't see him, I'm so sorry
Sue to Chapera: You guys, good luck.

[Chapera gives to Sue and she walks with Jeff to the boat.]

Kathy Vavrick O' Brien: Boy, is that discouraging.

Episode 807[edit]

Ethan: You're either the hero or you're the goat.

Episode 808[edit]

Jerri: That's the bellboy and he just took all my baggage away. My Survivor closet is now clean.

Episode 810[edit]

Rob: You take care of her; I'll take care of you.

Episode 811[edit]

Rob: I won't stick a knife in your back.

Episode 813[edit]

Rob: Au revoir, adios, arrivederci, sayonara, and as we say in Boston, see ya later!

Episode 814[edit]

Shii Ann: If you can't go all the way, you gotta go all the way fighting.

Episode 815[edit]

Amber: I was under the assumption that the game would be easier in the end, because I knew we had our strategy set in the beginning and that we weren't really gonna have to worry about it too much in the end. But I was completely wrong.

Survivor: Cook Islands[edit]

Episode 1308[edit]

Ozzy: Mutineers are the first to die!

Survivor: Fiji[edit]

Episode 1402[edit]

Dreamz: Boo will hurt himself out of the game.

Episode 1410[edit]

??? : Random?
Jeff: It's not random.
Jeff: She [Cassandra] knocks Dreamz' whole name off the board!
Yau-Man: How many lives does that man have?
Yau-Man: This is the first time I've been to Tribal Council with a regular heart-rate and normal blood pressure.

Episode 1414[edit]

Jeff: (giving the Final 3 a generic notice that all 9 votes would be for the same person) One of you have been successful and the other two have not.

Unknown Episode[edit]

Yau-Man: Love Many, Trust Few, Do Wrong to None

Survivor: China[edit]

Episode 1502[edit]

Jean-Robert: Put your top back on, Amanda!
Amanda: Oh, my god! My mom is going to kill me!

Episode 1511[edit]

Tenth Tribal Council[edit]

Todd: If this works, wow, if not, I'm scared for my life.

Episode 1514[edit]

Todd: I just feel like it's going to go girl power tomorrow and I will probably be the one that's gone.

Survivor: Micronesia[edit]

Episode 1604[edit]

Fourth Tribal Council[edit]

Jason: (referring to Chet) Please, leave the island.

Episode 1609[edit]

Eliza: It's just a stick!
Jason: It's got a face on it. Don't worry!
Eliza: It's a *bleep* stick!
Jason: I know right!

Episode 1610[edit]

James: I thought I was the dumbest survivor ever.

Episode 1611[edit]

James: (after Erik volunteers to lick Cirie's fingers after she ate the cake) Something's wrong with that boy.

Episode 1612[edit]

Amanda: Can I first hug my sister goodbye?
Jeff: Nope!

Twelfth Tribal Council[edit]

Erik: I wanna give the Immunity Necklace to Natalie!
Cirie: My mother always told me, you may not be able to beat them with these (points at her muscles) all the time, but you can always beat them with this (points to head).
Parvati: You're crazy! You'll officially go down as the dumbest Survivor ever. In the history of Survivor. Ever.
James: I've lost my reign as "Dumbest Survivor Ever"!!

Episode Unknown[edit]

James: The fish just bit me!
James: What in the Nickelodeon is going on here?

Survivor: Gabon[edit]

Episode 1705[edit]

Crystal: Eat your rice!

Fifth Tribal Council[edit]

Crystal: You (G.C.) wanted to go home, so you get your wish.

Episode 1706[edit]

Sixth Tribal Council[edit]

Sugar: I think you (Kelly) are a moron and I really hope you are dunzo before me.
Crystal: F***ing forget you (Kelly), go home!

Episode 1707[edit]

Seventh Tribal Council[edit]

Crystal: (on Ace) You are one of the snakes I have to get rid of, go home!

Episode 1709[edit]

Tenth Tribal Council[edit]

Randy: (on Crystal) Bitch!

Episode 1710[edit]

Sugar: (to Susie when she got out of her bath early) What the hell are you doing, woman?!

Eleventh Tribal Council[edit]

Sugar: You (Randy) are a disgusting, old, hot-headed, chauvinistic, alcoholic bigot, and you need to grow up before you die alone! And a loser.
Crystal: (In a very loud voice towards Randy) YOU HAVE MADE MY LIFE HELL FROM DAY 1! FORGET YOU, GO HOME, GOODBYE!!!
Corinne: I'm holding this up for a minute so it seems like I am voting for Randy. I'm voting for you, Susie, because payback is a bitch.

Finale[edit]

Corinne: (Talking to Sugar) You are an unemployed, uneducated, leech on society. And the only thing I would vote to give you, is a handful of anti-depressants so that nobody has to be subjected to your constant crying anymore. And maybe if you got some, it may seem more sincere when you are crying about your dead father. You don't deserve the million.

Survivor: Tocantins[edit]

Episode 1801[edit]

Joe: I wrote down "Grammy".
Jeff Probst: Who's Grammy?
Joe: Grammy's gonna be the uh, the older lady.
Jeff Probst: What's your name?
Sandy: Sandy.
Jeff Probst: Sandy.
Taj: Two for Sandy.
Jeff Probst: OK, that's two for Sandy.
Sydney: Guy with glasses and peachy orange shirt.
Stephen: Stephen.
Jeff Probst: Stephen. That's two for Sandy, one vote for Stephen.
Spencer: Three for Sandy.
Jeff Probst: OK, that's three for Sandy.
Carolina: The older lady, Sandy, I'm sorry.
Jeff Probst: That is four for Sandy, one for Stephen.
Stephen: Older lady, Sandy, I'm sorry!
Jeff Probst: That's five, there's only eight, five is enough. (to Sandy) Sandy, over here with me!

First Tribal Council[edit]

Jeff Probst: I'll read the votes

(picks vote for Sandy)

Jeff Probst: First vote.......Sandy.

(picks vote for Carolina)

Jeff Probst: Carolina.

(picks vote for Carolina)

Jeff Probst: Carolina. Two votes Carolina, one vote Sandy.

(picks vote for Carolina)

Jeff Probst: Carolina. Three votes Carolina, one vote Sandy.

(picks vote for Carolina)

Jeff Probst: Carolina. Four votes Carolina, one vote Sandy.

(picks 5th and final vote)

Jeff Probst: First person voted out of Survivor Tocantins....Carolina. That's five, that's enough, need to bring me your torch.
Carolina: (gives torch to Jeff Probst)
Jeff Probst: Carolina, your tribe has spoken. (puts out flame)

Episode 1802[edit]

Second Tribal Council[edit]

Jeff Probst: I'll read the votes

(picks vote for Candace)

Jeff Probst: First vote.......Candace.

(picks vote for Sierra)

Jeff Probst: Sierra. One vote Candace, one vote Sierra.

(picks vote for Candace)

Jeff Probst: Candace. Two votes Candace, one vote Sierra.

(picks vote for Candace)

Jeff Probst: Candace. Three votes Candace, one vote Sierra.

(picks vote for Candace)

Jeff Probst: Candace. Four votes Candace, one vote Sierra.

(picks 5th and final vote)

Jeff Probst: Second person voted out of Survivor Tocantins....Candace. That's five, that's enough, need to bring me your torch.
Candace: (gives torch to Jeff Probst)
Jeff Probst: Candace, your tribe has spoken. (puts out flame)

Episode 1803[edit]

Third Tribal Council[edit]

Jeff Probst: I'll read the votes

(picks vote for Jerry)

Jeff Probst: First vote.......Jerry.

(picks vote for Jerry)

Jeff Probst: Jerry. Two votes Jerry.

(picks vote for Erinn)

Jeff Probst: Erinn. Two votes Jerry, one vote Erinn.

(picks vote for Jerry)

Jeff Probst: Jerry. Three votes Jerry, one vote Erinn.

(picks 4th and final vote)

Jeff Probst: Third person voted out of Survivor Tocantins....Jerry. That's four, that's enough, need to bring me your torch.
Jerry: (gives torch to Jeff Probst)
Jeff Probst: Jerry, your tribe has spoken. (puts out flame)

Survivor: Samoa[edit]

Erik: Like our tribe name, Aiga, means extended family. Bleh! What's Samoan for get the hell off my island?


Russell H.: I call it my dumb-ass girl alliance.


Jeff: Is baseball your sport?
Dave: No, making love's my sport.


Russell H.: These people are so stupid.


Russell: It's a bird, for crying out loud!


Dave: Erik's running after the chicken, and he gets clothes lined, by the clothes line. It was pure comedy.


Erik: This tribe sucks.


Shambo: Screw yoga, man!

Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains[edit]

Episode 2003[edit]

Jeff: Rupert has Coach. Coach, get your hand on the bag!

(Coach pushes Rupert into mud)

Jeff: No, no! Replay it! No! No! No!

(Coach yells victoriously)

Jeff: Coach! Coach!
James: Coach! No! No karate chopping!
Jeff: Coach! Coach! No! Do-over! Coach, inadvertent or not, you used your arm!

(Coach flips him off)

Jeff: Take that anger and point it to the pirate, not me!

Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains[edit]

Episode 2003[edit]

Jeff: Rupert has Coach. Coach, get your hand on the bag!

(Coach pushes Rupert into mud)

Jeff: No, no! Replay it! No! No! No!

(Coach yells victoriously)

Jeff: Coach! Coach!
James: Coach! No! No karate chopping!
Jeff: Coach! Coach! No! Do-over! Coach, inadvertent or not, you used your arm!

(Coach flips him off)

Jeff: Take that anger and point it to the pirate, not me!

Episode 2009[edit]

J.T's letter : Russell, (READ IN COMPLETE PRIVACY). This is a huge turning point in this game. This is not fake, I wouldn't waste your time or mine. Just by competing against you and the few handshakes we've had I feel I can trust you. That's hard to find in this game. Hopefully we are on the same page. Play the idol tonight and save yourself. All the girls should be writing your name down, so act like you know you're going home. You can stand up and play it right before Jeff starts reading the votes. I think you should write Parvati's name down and send her home. No matter what, when you play the idol, you're safe for the entire tribal council. We will most likely merge at ten people and then you will be completely safe with us. Our five plus you will remain strong until the girls are done with. We can then work on getting ourselves into the final three. Hopefully I can trust you and you're not truly a Villain. Let's do this together. See you soon. Destroy this right when you finish reading!
Russell: Now I don’t even need to find idols. People are actually giving me idols. You don’t hand the enemy the idol, especially when his name is Russell Hantz. You don’t do that. That’s a no-no.
Parvati: *while laughing* Russell, read in complete privacy. This is a huge turning point in this game. This is not fake, I wouldn't waste your time or mine. Play the idol tonight...
Russell: For sure.
Parvati: ...and save yourself. Because clearly you're on the outside of an all-devouring female alliance. *To Russell* I put that in myself. *continue reading* So act like you are going home....*Stop reading* I can't believe he's writing all of this?!
Russell: "He's telling me what to do. He's giving me pointers
Russell (in the commentating area): How do you give the idol king an idol? "Here Mr. Russell, here’s an idol, this one’s just for you". Why thank you. You know what I think that J.T. have just handed to me a million dollars. Hey, I guess he can afford it.
Parvati: I think you should write Parvati's name down and send her home...*Stop reading* Why's everyone throwing me under the bus and not knowing what's going on over here?! *continue reading* Our five plus you will remain strong. We can then work on getting ourselves into the final three.*Stop Reading* Big promises, J.T. *Continue reading* Hopefully I can trust you and you're not truly a Villain.
Russell: Yes I am!
Parvati: Let's do this together. See you soon. BFF Forever. XOXO. Destroy this right when you finish reading! *Starts to crack up after reading it* Oh my god! I can't believe he wrote you a letter. What are we, in fifth grade? He's passing notes? What is wrong with this kid? I can't believe that kid won.
Parvati: Why would you hand a Villain your heart? J.T. gave Russell his heart today, and Russell is just going to stab it *laughing* a million times over, and hand it to me. And I’m going to eat it. *laughs*.

Survivor: Redemption Island[edit]

Jeff Probst: Whatever you have in your tank, you need to use it right now!


Survivor: One World[edit]

Episode 2401[edit]

Jeff Probst: (in the absence of Redemption Island of this season) That means when you are voted out this season, there is no second chance. You go home.

Episode 2406[edit]

Colton: I don't really care if Christina knows she's going home next. There's nothing that can save her.
Colton: (to Christina) You can enjoy your last two days, you can quit, or you can jump in that fire. Whichever is more convenient for you.
Colton: I got this pain and it literally feels like somebody's got a knife cutting from my belly button to the right side.
Jeff Probst: (at tribal council; tells to what is now final twelve) You are now one tribe. Twelve people fighting for a million bucks.
Colton: Tell Sabrina thanks for the souvenir.

Survivor: Philippines[edit]

Episode 2501[edit]

Russell: The last time I played, Survivor smacked me in the chops, and this time, I'm smacking back.
Jonathan: Thirty-nine days from now, I will make a million dollars.
Dawson: (on Jeff Kent) I used to spend time with a guy who is really into baseball, so I know who Jeff Kent is. There is no mention of him being a former professional athlete who made probably $30,000,000 in his career. I don't think the other tribe members know, and I think Jeff likes it that way, but I will tell him that I know, as soon as it becomes valuable to me.
Lisa: We filmed the last episode of The Facts of Life in March of '88. I got married in July of '88. After that, I left show business behind. I lost all the money that I made from The Facts of Life. A bunch of money invested, a lot of it kinda went the way of the 80's crash. Being on Survivor at this season of my life is just a godsend. Because I've been running and running from the time I was a little kid, to slow down and go inside and find out: Who am I? Am I more than a mom? Am I more than a child star? So I am just excited because I love the game. But in a whole new level, I'm really excited of what will change inside me.

Episode 2502[edit]

Malcolm: (commenting on his cuddling with Angie) When I first saw Angie, I kept having to remind myself, "Don't get booty blinded. Don't get booty blinded. You're here to play Survivor."
Abi: I notice that you and Mike are very close and it's starting to worry me.
R.C.: Mike's like my father.
Abi: This is a game. It doesn't matter if you like Mike or not. You go off together and whispering...
R.C.: Yeah, but I feel the same way about you and Pete.
Abi: But we don't switch conversations when people walk up to us. (to camera) If she screws me over, that's it, she's dead to me.
Denise: I think part of it is just a 24-year-old guy (Malcolm) snuggling up to something that is really nice to snuggle up to, but now it's like there's these huge targets on their back.

Episode 2503[edit]

Russell: If Denise decides to hitch her wagon to the young ones, then I'm dead.

Episode 2505[edit]

Malcolm: I got an immunity idol this morning and a new tribe in the afternoon and I feel like I got my swag back.

Episode 2508[edit]

Eighth Tribal Council[edit]

Lisa: Well, I said that you (Jeff) were Plan B, but I think this was actually Plan D or E.

Episode 2511[edit]

Eleventh Tribal Council[edit]

Abi: I hope you (Denise) go home tonight. Look who's judging you now!

Episode 2512[edit]

Twelfth Tribal Council[edit]

Abi: You're patronizing, judgemental, you're just not a good person. I really don't like you (Denise).
Denise: Abi, if this vote doesn't go as planned, there is seriously something wrong in the universe.

Episode 2513[edit]

Thirteenth Tribal Council[edit]

Malcolm: It sounds like it's either you (Denise) or me tonight.