Talk:Jean-Claude Van Damme

Unsourced Quotes

I'm pretty sure these quotes all started off as a joke. Unless someone can provide legitimate sources (such as interviews with, or press coverage of, Van Damme) for these quotes by March 21, 2008, they will be removed. --Ubiquity 00:45, 15 March 2008 (UTC)

Well,its 22 November 2008 now,and they're still here.

Now it's October 6th 2011..Roger Ebert has quoted some of them in his review for JCVD so I guess it's too late to wipe them out LOL http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20081111/REVIEWS/811129993/1023

Unsourced

• T'as pas besoin d'un flash quand tu photographies un lapin qui a déjà les yeux rouges.
  • Translation: You don't need a flash to photograph a rabbit that already has red eyes.

• Si tu travailles avec un marteau-piqueur pendant un tremblement de terre, désynchronise-toi, sinon tu travailles pour rien.
  • Translation: If you work with a jackhammer during an earthquake, stop, otherwise you are working for nothing.

• Selon les statistiques, il y a une personne sur cinq qui est déséquilibrée. S'il y a 4 personnes autour de toi et qu'elles te semblent normales, c'est pas bon.
  • Translation: According to statistics, one person out of five is disturbed. If there are four people around you who seem normal, that's not good.

• Si tu téléphones à une voyante et qu'elle ne décroche pas avant que ça sonne, raccroche.
  • Translation: If you phone a psychic and she doesn't answer the phone before it rings, hang up.

• In the year 3,000, people are going to speak with sound waves. Don't think I'm crazy, the whales do it. Dolphins too.

• Une vache, ça te bouffe trois hectares, moi, avec trois hectares, je te fais deux mille kilos de riz... avec trois hectares, je te nourris Avignon, tu vois...
  • A cow eats three hectares. With three hectares I could make two thousand kilos of rice. With three hectares I could feed Avignon!

• My wife is not my best sexual partner, but she's good with the housework.

• Un biscuit ça n'a pas de spirit, c'est juste un biscuit. Mais, avant c'était du lait, des oeufs. Et, dans les oeufs, il y a la vie potentielle.
  • Translation: A cookie has no soul, it's just a cookie. But before it was milk and eggs. And in eggs there's the potential for life.

• Me montrer nu de dos ne me pose pas de probleme mais, de face, c'est une autre histoire, je ne voudrais pas perdre tout mes fans.
  • Translation: Showing myself nude from behind doesn't pose any problems but from the front that's another story. I don't want to lose all my fans!

• I'm fast, why? Because I eat vegetables.
  • I think this quote refers to this video. At 11:50 he says "Je suis speed, pourquoi ? Je mange que des légumes"

• Obviously I've taken drugs.

• When I walk across my living room from my chimney to my window, it takes me ten seconds, but for a bird it takes one second, and for oxygen zero seconds!

• Je suis fasciné par l'air. Si on enlevait l'air du ciel, tous les oiseaux tomberaient par terre ... Et les avions aussi...
  • Translation: I am fascinated by air. If you remove the air from the sky, all the birds would fall to the ground. And all the planes, too.

• L'air c'est beau en même temps tu peux pas le voir, c'est doux et peux pas le toucher ... L'air c'est un peu comme mon cerveau.
  • Translation: Air is beautiful, yet you cannot see it. It's soft, yet you cannot touch it. Air is a little like my brain.

• "I'm one of the most sensitive human beings on Earth -- and I know it."

• "I am the Fred Astaire of karate."

• "I'm the god of cloud karate."
  • 18th September, 1st International Movie Convention, Brussels

• "God gave me a great body and it's my duty to take care of my physical temple."
  • Internet Movie Database