Wikiquote no longer allows unsourced quotations, and they are in process of being removed from our pages (see Wikiquote:Limits on quotations); but if you can provide a reliable, precise and verifiable source for any quote on this list please move it to Jonathan Swift. --Antiquary 17:58, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
- A tavern is a place where madness is sold by the bottle.
- The latter part of a wise person's life is occupied with curing the follies, prejudices and false opinions they contracted earlier."
- Ambition often puts Men upon doing the meanest offices; so climbing is performed in the same position with creeping.
- In church your grandsire cut his throat; to do the job too long he tarried: he should have had my hearty vote to cut his throat before he married.
- Faith! he must make his stories shorter or change his comrades once a quarter.
- Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.
- Every dog must have his day.
- I have always believed no matter how many shots I miss, I'm going to make the next one.
- A man should never be ashamed to own that he has been in the wrong, which is but saying... that he is wiser today than yesterday.
- (On leaving money to found a psychiatric hospital in Dublin) No nation needs it so much.