Talk:Josh Billings

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Wikiquote no longer allows unsourced quotations, and they are in process of being removed from our pages (see Wikiquote:Limits on quotations); but if you can provide a reliable, precise and verifiable source for any quote on this list please move it to Josh Billings. --Antiquary 12:03, 13 June 2009 (UTC)

• A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

• As a general rule, if you want to get at the truth — hear both sides and believe neither.

• Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.

• Beauty is a very handy thing to have, especially for a woman who ain't handsome.

• Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at.

• Don't despise your poor relations, they may become suddenly rich one day.

• Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed.

• Health is like money, we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it.

• I have finally come to the conclusion that a good reliable set of bowels is worth more to a man than any quantity of brains.

• If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.

• In youth we run into difficulties, in old age, difficulties run into us.

• It ain't what a man don't know that makes him a fool; it's the things he does know, that ain't so.

• Laughing is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one spot.

• Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.

• Life is a grindstone, and whether it grinds a man down or polishes him up depends on what he is made of.

• Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.

• Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.

• Man was created a little lower than the angels, and has been getting lower ever since.

• Man is my brother, and I am nearer related to him through his vices than I am through his virtue.

• Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

• Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.

• Remember the poor, it costs nothing.

• Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.

• The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm.

• The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.

• There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.

• There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.