- How lame do you have to be to spend your time like that on the Internet? Can't you do something more constructive, like surf for porn? Or go into the real world and interact with people rather than cyber-sniping.
- If I had any balls whatsoever, I'd make nothing but Jay and Silent Bob flicks for the rest of my life. However, being a critical whore, I've gotta move on and 'grow' beyond those characters.
- It's incredibly flattering, and really ironic. I grew up quoting Fletch and Raising Arizona, and now people quote the flicks I've done back to me. Weird, but nice.
- Long time no see. I only pray the caliber of your questions has improved.
- Now you've gotta spend two thousand bucks to stay at my house. And for five, I'll let you photograph my wife in the shower.
- On one hand I'll stand up there and think I'm a pretty good storyteller but it has everything to do with the audience. Invariably, I get people telling me that I should do stand-up. Stand-ups generate their own material, but I'm up there answering questions and they lob me softballs.
- Read the comics, which are probably far better than the film would be if I was involved. Otherwise, my version of Batman would be like him standing around talking for two weeks and not getting anything done. The Bat-A-Rang would never leave the utility belt. It would just be chatting.
- Sometimes the path you are on is not as important as the direction you are heading. For, no matter if you take the Holland Tunnel or the George Washington Bridge you get to New Jersey, so long as you are heading west. The procedure involved in your path to Nirvana may meander, but a road worth traveling will have its twists and turns.
- If a fat kid from the Jersey 'burbs could grow up to star opposite one of the biggest movie stars in the world in a summer blockbuster, then anything's possible.
- Sometimes the path you're on is not as important as the direction you're heading.
- Readers Digest, Quotable Quotes
- Mr. Smith Goes To Hollywood : Jay is a creature of the Id, who has no filter as to what to say; he just says what's on his mind. So what's funny about the character is his lack of moral boundary. He says what he says without thinking of the repercussions, and I'm there to just roll my eyes.
- I really wanted to make a movie where the worst thing that could happen at the end of the day, was somebody would write on a web site that 'Kevin Smith sucks cock' and spell 'cock' wrong.
- ...That's just how I see male relationships. Just one pleasantry shy of a cock in the mouth.
- Interview, on whether Randal Graves is gay.