Talk:Murphy's law

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None of the "unattributed variants" cite the sources being quoted. What can go wrong with including uncited quotes, and therefore does go wrong according to Murphy, is that people will add their own made-up stuff to the article. ~ Ningauble 15:44, 20 April 2009 (UTC)

Unattributed variants[edit]

  • Murphy's Law states: If it can go wrong, it will. Summer's law says: What do you mean "IF"???
  • Any time you put an item in a "safe place", it will never be seen again.
  • Anything dropped in the bathroom will fall in the toilet (or the sink).
  • Any tool dropped in a workshop will roll to the least accessable corner. Any object dropped on the way to the least accessable corner will land on your toe.
  • Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost you more than you thought.
  • Corollary: If there is a worst time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.
  • Everything goes wrong all at once.
  • Everything takes longer than you think.
  • For any given software, the moment you manage to master it, a new version of that software appears on the market.
  • If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
  • Just when you think things cannot get any worse, they will.
  • Problems multiply as the deadline approaches.
  • When you are waiting for someone for a long time, he/she will knock when you are in the bathroom.
  • You click on the send button, just when your eyes see the mistake on the email.
  • You are only very busy when your boss is not at the office.
  • If it can, it will.
  • If you drop your toast, it will land butter side down.
    • Murphy's 3rd Law
  • It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
  • Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently capable fool.
  • Make something idiot-proof, and they will build a better idiot.
  • The minute you sell something you will want to use it again.
  • Law of Irrational Optimism: Actually, Murphy was unduly optimistic.
  • Corollary to the Law of Irrational Optimism: The "If" clause is both redundant and superfluous.


War-related[edit]

  • All battles are fought at the intersection of four maps.
  • A battle plan will never survive the first contact with the enemy.
  • A plan is merely a basis for changes.
  • Air strikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short.
  • All successful assaults stall at the enemy capital just as the least favourable weather begins.
  • Any piece of equipment your life depends upon was made by the lowest bidder.
  • As soon as you are served hot chow in the field, it rains.
  • Avoid villages, nowadays civilians rape YOU!!!
  • Bazookas jam when the tanks are closest.
  • Every command which can be misunderstood, will be.
  • Everything always works in your HQ, everything always fails in the Colonel's HQ.
  • Five second fuses always burn three seconds.
  • Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up.
  • Friendly fire isn't, foolproof plans and recoilless rifles aren't, and suppressive fires won't.
  • If a plan is stupid, and it works, it isn't stupid.
  • If the enemy is in range, so are you.
  • If the enemy is retreating as you are advancing, you are entering an ambush.
  • If you are short of everything except enemies, you are in the combat zone.
  • If you defend everywhere the enemy will penetrate the most important area.
  • If you don't remember, the Claymore is facing you.
  • If you occupy a hill the enemy occupies a mountain.
  • If you think you have superior numbers the majority of the enemy are hidden.
  • Incoming bullets have the right of way.
  • It's not the bullet with your name on it that you need to worry about; it's the thousand others addressed: "To whom it may concern."
  • Just when you finished putting it together, you notice the most important part is still there on the floor.
  • Kill the enemy general and a more skilled one will take over.
  • Make it impossible for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out.
  • Never share a foxhole with someone braver than you.
  • Never tell a superior officer you have nothing to do.
  • Once you pull the pin, Mr. Grenade is no longer your friend.
  • Professionals are predictable, but war is full of amateurs.
  • Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support.
  • The more durable your equipment is, the further away from civilization you'll be when it fails.
  • The shortest path is always mined or watched by snipers.
  • The supply sergeant has only two sizes in stock: Too Large and Too Small.
  • Two items that must be together to work, can't be shipped together.
  • When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible.
  • When you are low on supplies and ammo the enemy decides to attack that night.
  • When you have sufficient supplies and ammo, the enemy takes two weeks to attack.
  • Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and grenades always fall the farthest away, and your canteen always lands at your feet.
  • Whenever you have to work with native troops, they will either be unable to speak your language or will misinterpret your questions as a threat to their lives.

Electronics[edit]

  • Any wire cut to length will be too short.
  • The most expensive circuit will be the first to blow.
  • 1st Corollary: An expensive circuit protected by a fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first.
  • Murphy's Law of Random Selection: The most critical part for a prototype, chosen at random from the parts bin, will easily exceed all important critical parameters.
  • 1st Corollary Murphy's Law of Random Selection: Said part is the only one which does.
  • 2nd Corollary Murphy's Law of Random Selection: The set of parts used for successful product qualification testing are the last time that said set of parts will ever be known to exist in one place at the same time.
  • Murphy's No Smoking Rule: No electronic component will work properly unless all of the smoke is kept therein.
  • Corollary to Murphy's No Smoking Rule: Smoke doesn't like to be confined in small places.

Other unattributed[edit]

And so on.

http://www.eng.uwaterloo.ca/~ccsoon/murphy.html

Annihilatron 16:17, 19 January 2010 (UTC)