- Does anyone come back from this? I don't know the answer to that. But I'll be damned if I'm going to let this destroy me.
- on his arrest in 2002 on suspicion of child porn possession (reduced to a minor count of obscenity by the DA's office)
You Don't Know Jack
- (intro quote) If you think Alex Trebek is the only one who enjoys playing Double Jeopardy!, then You Don't Know Jack!
- pakin wakin hermin.