The Fairly OddParents

From Wikiquote
Jump to: navigation, search

The Fairly OddParents is a Nickelodeon animated television series created by Butch Hartman. The series follows the life a 10-year-old boy, Timmy Turner and his two wish-granting fairies, Cosmo and Wanda.

Contents

Oh, Yeah! Cartoons Shorts[edit]

The Fairly OddParents![edit]

[First lines of the series]
Dad: Thanks for babysitting tonight, Vicky. Timmy just loves making new friends, don't you Timmy?
Vicky: No problem, Mr. Turner! I just love Timmy. [grabs Timmy] We're gonna be best pals, right, Timmy?
Timmy: Oxygen...darkness...

Vicky: All right, squirt, three things: 1) Stay out of my way. 2) Go to bed early. 3) Do the dishes.
Timmy: Mom told you to do 'em!
Vicky: Oh yeah... well, you wouldn't want her to find this magazine, would you? [holds up a magazine titled "Chix"]
Timmy: That's not mine! Mom will never believe you.
Vicky: Ha! Well, I wouldn't say that; it works great at my house! Just ask my little brother. [dials on the phone and a child screaming is heard on the receiver]

Timmy: Oh Magic 9-Ball, when will my parents get back from the movies? [reading answer] Titanic: Director's Cut?! They'll be there all night! Man, that's dumb!
[He throws the Magic 9-Ball at the wall, causing it to break open. A magic aura forms from the ball, then swirls into thin air, bringing forth the entrance of Cosmo and Wanda.]
Cosmo and Wanda: HEY TIMMY!
Cosmo: I'm Cosmo!
Wanda: I'm Wanda!
Both: And we're... YOUR FAIRY GODPARENTS!
Wanda: What do you think, Timmy?
Timmy: I think I'm calling the cops.

Vicky: What's going on in here?!
Timmy: Nothing.
Vicky: What's with the fish?
Timmy: Uh, those are my godfish-- goldfish!
Vicky: Fish are riddled with germs. I wouldn't want you getting sick. Maybe I should flush 'em!
Timmy: No!
Cosmo: Should we do something?
Wanda: Well, he's got to wish for it first!
Cosmo: Ooh, I hate that rule.
Wanda: I'm calling a union meeting.
Vicky: I want those disgusting creatures out of here or it's toilet time for the two of them!
Wanda: [sarcastically] Sweet girl.
Cosmo: I love her fangs.

Timmy: Can you make her into a giant chocolate shake?
Cosmo: Oooh, may I, Pookie?
Wanda: Of course, Stallion.
[Cosmo turns Vicky into a giant snake.]
Timmy: Aaaaahhhhh!
Wanda: He said "chocolate shake", not "chocolate snake!"
Cosmo: [Looking at his wand] I got to get this thing fixed!

Vicky: You can't do this to me! I'm the babysitter!
Wanda: [sits on Vicky, as a giant baby] Goo goo!
Cosmo: [as Groucho Marx] That's the first time the baby ever sat on the sitter!
Vicky: Help!
Cosmo: Sorry! The secret word was pie! [throws a pie in Vicky's face]

Cosmo: Sorry, is it my breath?

Cosmo: [as a train] Woo woo, baby, woo woo!

Timmy: Hey mom, Vicky's the best friend ever! Can she babysit all the time?
Mom: Of course, dear.
Cosmo: Looks like we'll be here a while!
Wanda: At least we'll be clean!

Where's the Wand?[edit]

Cosmo: A magic wand in the wrong hands could mean total disaster... and Vicky's hands are the worst hands around!

Cosmo: Time to use the most powerful magical weapon in my arsenal... me!

The Fairy Flu![edit]


Vicky: Hello, I'm Vicky, and I'm... THE ABSOLUTE RULER!
Boy: How come you're the absolute ruler? [Other party guests back away]
Vicky: Because, my little artichoke, I'm 16 and you're 10. DO THE MATH!!!!

Vicky: These are the [birthday] party rules. Now I am only gonna say this once, so pay attention!. Now then... [Cosmo sneezes and she turns into a frog] Ribbit ribbit ribbit ribbit... [catches a fly with her tongue] Ribbit ribbit ribbit ribbit ribbit! [changes back] Everybody got it?!
Kids: Yaayyyyy!
Vicky: Sub humans...
Clown: Show-off.

Tootie: Why are we stuffing your balloons with sauerkraut?
Timmy: Uh... they're rare German balloons. Now stuff, stuff like the wind!

Clown: [sarcastically] "No mom, I don't need college,I'm going to 'follow my dream' and become a clown."

Vicky: And now I can catch up on my beauty sleep, not that I need any.

The Temp![edit]

Jorgen: As a reward for doing so good, you get to do wand-ups.
Cosmo: That doesn't sound so bad.
Jorgen: 18 million, NOW!
Cosmo and Wanda: 1, 2, 3...

Elves: [to Jeff the elf] Come! Be one of us, Jeff!

[Jeff screams]

The Zappys[edit]

Timmy: [on why he loves Cosmo and Wanda] Why? What do you mean why? They're my best friends. Well, they make me feel safe.They make me feel special. They make me feel loved. They may make a few mistakes. But they're my pals, and I love them more than anything.

News Co-Hosts: ZAPPY FIGHT!!

The Really Bad Day![edit]

Vicky Khan: It's way past your bedtime, mister!
Timmy: Who's that?
Genghis Khan: Uh, that's my babysitter, Vicky Khan.
Timmy: Wow, Vicky must have a real extended family!

Season 1[edit]

The Big Problem/Power Mad! [1.1][edit]

Wanda: You can't spell "Vicky" without "icky".

Vicky: All right, Twerp! Time for bed.
Timmy: But it's only 6:04.
Vicky: Well, it's 9:04 on the east coast. BED!
(one minute later, Timmy's clock changes to 6:05)
Cosmo: Now it's 9:05 on the east coast!

Timmy: Well, how do I look?
Cosmo & Wanda: Ew!
Timmy: 'Ew' is right! I don't have any hair!
Wanda: Sure you do! It's here on your back! [Lifts his shirt to show his back is covered in hair]
Timmy: That's just creepy.

[Timmy, having wished himself to be older, sees his Mom and Dad kissing]
Timmy: (covers his eyes) Arrrgh! It burns!

[Older Timmy has been eating "grown-up" food at a restaurant]
Waiter: That'll be $265.
Timmy: WHAT?! That's more than I get in allowance-- I mean, that's more than I make in a month!
Waiter: Well, you should have finished college.
Timmy: Did YOU finish college?
Waiter: [breaking into tears] NO!!! WHY DO YOU THINK I'M A WAITER?!?!

Fairy-Gram: Fairy-Gram for Cosmo and Wanda.
Cosmo: I'm Cosmo and Wanda!
Fairy-Gram: Now that your kid is big and hairy, your next assignment is mean and scary.

Wanda: You mean we're being reassigned?
Fairy-Gram: Ha ha ha! I mean, yes, and we're all very sorry.
Cosmo: Can we have a couple of hours to say good-bye to Timmy?
Fairy-Gram: Can I have five dollars? [Timmy hands him a five-dollar bill] Two hours. [disappears]

Cosmo: Miniature golf is a great kids' game!
[Cosmo and Wanda are turned into a tee and ball]
Timmy: Ow! My back!
Wanda: Let me try the Age-O-Meter. Kid...adult...Oh, no! You've become even more of an adult!
Cosmo: We've got to resort to the heavy artillery!
[Cuts to Timmy riding a kiddie ride outside a store]

Vicky: And this is for the TV, and this is the VCR, and this is the DVD, and this is the surround sound, and this is the combination microwave popcorn maker/neck massager, and I don't know what this plug does, but I ain't payin' for the electricity.

Timmy: I lost a life! On level 1! What am I, 4?

Cosmo: [as Ricky] Wanda! You've got some splainin' to do!
Wanda: [as Lucy] Even though that's not the way everybody says "explaining", I respect our differences and your right to say it in the way you want.
Cosmo: Eh, babaloo?
Wanda: That, too.
Cosmo & baby: Waaaahhhhhh!
Vicky: Boring! [Changes channel]

Wanda: [As news reporter] And now, here's Cosmo with the weather.
Cosmo: [Holding a feather] I thought you said feather. [A pause, then smiles]

Wanda: Just let me clairify this. You married, your car.
Cosmo: [In southern accent] Yep, now my kids get seventeen miles to the gallon! [Has chair thrown at him]
Wanda: And we'll be right back.

[Timmy enters Level 8 of the video game, which looks like an underwater version of his Aunt Gertrude's house]
Aunt Gertrude: [as a giant lobster with large claws] Hello, Timmy! Let Aunt Gertrude pinch those chubby cheeks of yours!
Timmy: I hope she means my face!

Timmy: I wish I had cheeks of steel!
Wanda: I hope you mean your face.
Timmy: I do!

Cosmo: It's a show about nothing!...How do we know when it's over?
Vicky: (watching the show) I do. (changes the channel)

Cosmo: Follow me to the TV; I've got an idea!
Wanda: (writing in a book) Wednesday, March 22nd: Cosmo had an idea!
[Later]
Cosmo: I'm all out of ideas!
Wanda: (writing in book) Well, easy come, easy go.
[Even later]
Cosmo: I had another idea!
Wanda: (writing in book) This was a magnificent day for Cosmo!

Vicky: Well, keep it down; you know when I'm watching you, I'm watching something on TV!

A.J.: It's 6:13. Timmy always goes to the bathroom at 6:13.
Chester: And that's weird. He always struck as a 7:43 whizzinator.

Timmy: Those creeps! Wait 'til I reset them!
Wanda: No! If you turn off the game while they're in there, or if they lose their 3 lives, they'll disappear forever.
Timmy: Then I wish they're out of the game!
Cosmo: You can't! [turns his head into Timmy's] Quote: "I wish for a video game that's challenging - a game that you can't wish yourself out of!" Unquote. [returns to normal]
Wanda: You either win the game, or take off the helmet.
Timmy: You guys don't do anything halfway, do you?
Cosmo: Nope. We're two halves of a whole idiot!

Narrator: His velvety voice and beautiful lyrics have moved many a generation...
Cosmo: (singing) The wheels on the bus go round and round!
Narrator: He is a talent that will fill your heart with joy.
Cosmo: (singing) There was a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name OH!
Vicky: Man, there is nothing on today!

Cosmo: I'm a Cosmo Coin, and boy am I glad to see you.
Timmy: Ditto!
Wanda: [Running on the treadmill that keeps the power going] This'll be great for my glutes!

Timmy: I wish I had something to stop Vicky!
Cosmo: Hey, that's just vague enough to work!
[Cosmo creates a door, and Timmy's parents come in]
Mom: Vicky! It's us.
Dad: Timmy's Mom and Dad!
Mom: We're back!
Dad: You can go home now.
Vicky: (screaming and melting) Nooooo!

Spaced Out/TransParents! [1.2][edit]

Queen Jipjorrulac: We wouldn't have to blow up all these planets if you just stop for directions.
King Gripullon: Quiet! I'm still the king around here!
Queen Jipjorrulac: King of getting lost.
King Gripullon: Silence!

[first instance of Timmy's recurring explanation for the amazing things he has as the result of his fairy godparents]
Chester: Killer Crash suit, dude!
A.J: Yeah -wherever did you get it?
Timmy: Uhh, internet?

Wanda: We have good news and bad news.
Timmy: What's the good news?
Cosmo: The alien we got you is actually a prince from the dreaded war planet Yugopotamia.
Wanda: And his parents are on their way to destroy the Earth and rescue their son!
Timmy: What's the bad news?
Wanda: Oh, wait...that was the bad news!
Timmy: (shouting) Then what's the good news?!
Cosmo: I found a nickel!

[While Timmy shows off the dinosaur he wished for to the class]
Mr. Crocker, Timmy's Teacher: Incredible! No normal child could have access to that kind of genetic technology. There's only one logical explanation...Fairy Godparents!!

[At the end of a three way phone call, Timmy and Chester simply hang up]
A.J.: Doesn't anyone say "goodbye" anymore?

Cosmo: Yippee! That hurt!
Timmy: No, Cosmo, you're supposed to say "ouch" when something hurts
Cosmo: Oh, okay. Yippee! That ouched!

Mr. Crocker: Can I offer you anything with that? Cream, sugar, magic?
Wanda: What was that last one?
Mr. Crocker: [unsure] Sugar?

Wanda: [Principal Waxleplax is stuck in a trap Crocker tried to set up for Cosmo and Wanda] I may be naive, but I don't think she's doing it right.
Principal Waxleplax: [screaming] CROCKER!!
Mr. Crocker: [sarcastically] Oh, perfect.

Principal Waxleplax: A week of detention for all of you! (to Timmy) You for faking your show and tell(to Chester and A.J.) You for going into the girls bathroom! (to Crocker) And you for trapping me in a toilet paper cocoon and promising two young boys they could enslave the earth! THAT'S NOT RIGHT!!!

A Wish Too Far!/Tiny Timmy! [1.3][edit]

Trixie Tang: (Shielding herself from Timmy's bright teeth) May I grace you with my presence?
Timmy: It'll be your honor!
Trixie Tang: Oh, you're good!

Timmy: What do those popular kids have that I don't?
Cosmo: Besides the clothes and the money and the stuff?

[Timmy has become popular, so Chester and A.J. have to find a new friend]
Chester: Elmer, you're the new Timmy. (puts Timmy's hat on Elmer)
Elmer: Neat! Can my boil have a hat, too?

Timmy: What's going on?
Wanda: You're being sued by Fairy World, and Jorgen Von Strangle is the persecutor!
Timmy: Don't you mean prosecutor?
Wanda: No!
Cosmo: I'm gonna be the defense attorney!
Timmy & Wanda: NO!!!
(Cosmo turns into a defense attorney)
Cosmo: And, for my first legal maneuver, I'd like to make a motion! (starts dancing)

Cosmo: Don't look at me. I'm just a coal miner!

Mom: Take good care of our fancy new vase while we're gone! Oh, and Timmy, too. Keep an eye on him.

Vicky: (glaring at vase) I hate you. Stop mocking me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Timmy: Look at the size of this food! If I could shrink everyone in the world down to this size, there'd be enough food to end world hunger!
Wanda: Oh, that's beautiful, Timmy!
Cosmo: But not why we're here! Look! Big candy!
Timmy: Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine!

Single Cell Princess: (very fast Valley girl) My interests include wiggling and swimming. My turn-offs are penicillin and antibiotics. But enough about me, tell me about you.
Timmy: Well, my name's Timmy and I have a short attention span and... (wanders off)

Timmy: [repeated throughout episode] So bored, can't focus.

Vicky: That's right, Timmy's throwing a "Break Timmy's Stuff" party at his house!

Cosmo: We're in Kidney Land! Oh, my gosh! Look!
Cosmo & Wanda: It's Walt Kidney!

Timmy: Mission control, this is what makes Vicky tick. Cool I can see what Vicky sees.
Pettiness: Excuse me, this is a secure area. Who are you?
Timmy: Uh, I'm Bob from the ahhh... central nervous system.
Vicky's Sub-Conscious: Hi Bob.

Pettiness: I'm Pettiness, that's Jealousy.
Jealousy: Why don't I have a suit like that?

Pettiness: And this is Anger.
Anger:(sweet) Hello, would you like a cookie?
Timmy: Sure.
Anger: (sweet) Well... (angry) SO WOULD I!!!!!!

Timmy: [being chased by a swarm of antibodies] I have to find a way out before they box me in! That's it. [flies up a finds a fast-food talkbox] A voice box!
Voice Box: Welcome to Voice in the Box. May I take your order?
Timmy: [activates a megaphone] I wish I was out of here! [reverbrates up Vicky's larynx]
Vicky: [cleaning the house] I have to clean the mess I made and- [in Timmy's voice] I wish I was out of here!
Wanda: Did you hear that? Timmy learned ventriloquism.
Cosmo: And Vicky's the dummy!

Vicky: What?! Cute little animals?! And they're CLEANING?! GET OUT!

Father Time!/Apartnership! [1.4][edit]

Dad: TROPHY-SENSES TINGLING!!! TO THE TROPHY CASE!

Dad: What happened here?!?!
Timmy: Uh...I melted your trophy with heat vision?
Dad: Where did you get heat vision?
Timmy: Uhh...Internet?
Cosmo: Oh, he's good.

Dad: I'm so mad I wish blinding beams of heat would shoot out of my eyes right now!!

(Cosmo starts to grant his wish but Wanda stops him)

Wanda: No, no, ours is the one with the silly pink hat.

Dad: Go to your room and don't come out until you learn responsibility for other people's property...or welding skills...whichever comes first!

Timmy: Now it's time for Scary Stories From The Future! In the future, there will be 500 TV channels.
Young Dad: Far out!
Timmy: But nothing to watch!
Young Dad: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!

1970's Cosmo: The system's trying to take him prisoner!
1970's Wanda: We're all prisoners...on the inside!
1970's Cosmo: I love you!

1970's Wanda: That little Billy Gates and his crazy ideas.

Timmy: [as Young Dad, offering his trophy] Hi, Mom! I'm Dad. Will you take this; go out with me; marry me; and someday have a boy with a silly pink hat?
Young Mom: Okay. I'll come by your house later!
Timmy: [as Young Dad] Groovy! If I'm asleep in a tent in the backyard, wake me up and tell me about the race, in excruciating detail!
Young Mom: Okay. [wanders off]

Dad: This is me graduating dictator college. And this is me taking over the world - with smiles! And this is where I'd put a trophy- IF I HAD ONE!!

Wanda: I hate everything! I hate cats, I hate this day. I'm going to bed...which I hate!

Wanda: You're such a Mama's boy!
Cosmo: I'm not!
Wanda: [turns Cosmo into a baby] Now you are!
Cosmo: Hey! You made me make a poopy!

Cosmo: Let's get something straight! I'm not bright! Big words confuse me! I have the attention span of a rodent! But Wanda loves me anyway. She makes me happy and THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH FOR YOU!

Mama Cosma: It's not working! He's falling in love with her again!
Cupid: Well, where's the dough? You know, as the god of love, I love cash.
Mama Cosma: And I love the idea of Cosmo not being able to love Wanda.
Timmy: [frustrated] At this rate, I'll never get home! [grabs one of Cupid's arrows] I'll just make them fall in love, and sort it out later.
Cosmo: [spots a nickel and ducks] Ooh! I spy a nickel!
Cupid: [arrow hits Cupid] You know, Mama Cosma, there is something I love more than money: YOU!! [Mama Cosma screams as Cupid chases her]

Wanda: I'm sorry I yelled at you puddin'. I promise I won't do it unless you really mess up again.
Cosmo: Like I will tomorrow?
Wanda: It's a date.

Dad: Okay honey, are you ready for your anniversary present?
Mom: [blindfolded] Oh, I'm so excited! What is it? What is it?
Dad: Open your eyes!
Mom: It's a blindfold! Oh, I've always wanted one!

Chin Up!/Dog's Day Afternoon [1.5][edit]

The Crimson Chin: Great jaws of justice! Spatula Woman!
Timmy: But that's just a geek in a costume!

The Crimson Chin: My powers...gone! There must be some sort of Chintonite in this facility!

Timmy/ Cleft: (tied to a giant hairy leg) Couldn't you have shaved this thing?!
The Bronze Kneecap: (pointing to his kneecap) Don't make me use this!!!

Timmy/ Cleft: The Crimson Chin is still a hero, right?! He'll save me, right?!
The Crimson Chin: Stupid ketchup!
Timmy/ Cleft: Well, uh... besides, I'm not in any real trouble, right?! If I were in any real danger, my Godparents would get me outta here, right?!
Cosmo: Stupid ketchup!

The Crimson Chin: By my mother's mandible - I say NAY!

[Timmy wins the Comic Book Convention fancy dress competition]
Wanda: He's my hero!
Cosmo: (holding a hero sandwich) And this is mine! (attempts to squeeze ketchup while shaking it up and down, but can't) Stupid ketchup!

Timmy: I can't believe it! I'm this dog's dog.
Wanda: Isn't that a rap song?
Cosmo: (gives himself some rap clothes) Word! (gets weighed down by all the stuff and crashes to the bottom of the fishbowl)

Timmy: Dogs have a better sense of smell. And they can see in black and white. And they can go to the bathroom anywhere they want!
Cosmo: So can I. I'm just polite!

Cosmo: (sing-song) I married the smart one!
Wanda: (sing-song) And I married the...well, he's cute, right?

Cosmo: Ooh, yeah - I'm gonna swing, Daddy-o! I'm gonna call up all my old friends (leafing through book) Lessee, Wanda, Wanda, Wanda with a star beside it, Panda, no that's "Wanda" with a smudge on the 'W'. I...I...I miss Wanda!

[floating at a typewriter]
Wanda: Finally, a romance novel to shake the ages. (starts typing) It was dawn. I was in my towel when the ninjas attacked...

Dream Goat!/The Same Game [1.6][edit]

Vicky: Here's a physics lesson, Poindexter. Undies plus gravity equals WEDGIE!

Wanda: Awww! Goat love!
Cosmo: They say it's the most honest love there is!

[Timmy is trapped by a mob after admitting to setting the town mascot Chompy free]
Timmy: I'm doomed!
Cosmo: Well, you've lived a good life, right?
Timmy: I'm only ten!
Cosmo: I said good, not long!

Cosmo: [to a gray blob] Are you Timmy?
Gray Blob #1: No. I'm Chet.
Wanda: [to another gray blob] Are you Timmy?
Gray Blob #2: I'm Dominic.
Cosmo: [to the first gray blob] Are you Timmy?
Gray Blob #1: I just told you! I'm Chet.
Cosmo: I hate this wish! I can't tell which blob is our blob.

Gray Dr. Bender: Is this your ball on our lawn, and your gray on our gray?
Gray Timmy: Dr.Bender! Wendell! You're big gray blobs just like me!
Gray Dr. Bender: Actually we're the grayest and the blobbiest.
Gray Timmy: But everyone's exactly alike!
Gray Dr. Bender: That's where you're wrong, little, not so gray boy! In fact, only blobs as gray and blobby as we are can have a gray ball as fun as this. Now beat it!

Dr. Bender DDS: Well, Bucky The Buck-Toothed Tooth Boy, that's where you're WRONG!

Cosmo: If you're playing Timmy Ball, wear a helmet.
Wanda: What about Wanda Ball?
Cosmo: I know that game!
Wanda: Do you know I use a cinder block?
Cosmo: Didn't know that! {Wanda drops a cinder block on his head} Aaaahhhh!!

Season 2[edit]

Christmas Every Day [2.1][edit]

Timmy: Who are all these gifts for?
Vicky: Nobody. I just like making you work!

Vicky: Merry Christmas Mr. and Mrs. Turner. Is it time for my Christmas bonus?
Dad: Yep. This year you get to leave early!

Timmy: I love the smell of Christmas in the morning!

Chet Ubetcha: It's ho-ho-horrible! As Christmas enters its third week, the world screams, "Christmas is entering its third week!"

Chet Ubetcha: (on a television in a shop window) As the world falls apart at the seams, people everywhere are asking "who is responsible for this?", and "how can we tear them limb from limb?"!
Timmy: Err... Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Cosmo: Yeah! He's cute when he's angry!

Wanda: What do you second rate, not-Christmas holidays want with our Timmy?
Easter Bunny: He better unwish that wish, or he's gonna an egg where the sun don't shine!
Cosmo: In the closet?

Cowgirl: Merry Christmas! (Hands Timmy some gas for his snowmobile) Or, as we say in Montana; you're standing in cow manure!
Timmy: Awesome!

Timmy: I made it all the way across the ocean to Greenland and nothing bad happened!
[Large shark breaks through the ice and eats the snowmobile]
Timmy: (looks to camera) Well, that's inconvenient.

Christmas song from "Christmas Every Day"[edit]

Timmy: Christmas Day is here once more.
Wanda: Gifts, and love, and joy galore.
Cosmo: A special day that wipes the floor
All: With the other three-hundred-and-sixty-four!
Timmy: I wish every day could be Christmas.
'Cause Santa brings gifts every year.
He's reading my list,
he's feeding the deer,
He's hauling my gifts from the North Pole to here.
I wish every day could be Christmas.
'Cause every other holiday reeeeks!
New Years Eve's for Mom and Dad,
The Easter Bunny's eggs smell REALLY BAD!!!
Valentines Day always makes me sad...
Dad: Cause Timmy just can't get a girlfriend.
Timmy: WHAT??!!
Cosmo and Wanda: I wish every day could be Christmas.
'Cause nice fairies get their rewards.
Wanda: I got pudding, I got slacks.
Cosmo: I got all my back hair waxed!
Cosmo and Wanda: Santa grants wishes while we relax,
Cosmo: And Timmy still can't get a girlfriend!
Timmy: Stop that!
There's just no other day like Christmas.
My family stays here, it's real cool.
Just me, Mom, and Dad.
I'm so very glad.
There's no Vicky,
No Vicky,
No school.
Cosmo: And no Vicky!
Timmy: Right!
I wish every day could be Christmas.
Then I get the best gift of all.
My parents stay home to say...
Mom and Dad: We love you, Noggy.
Dad: MINE!!
Timmy: Wouldn't Christmas each day be the coolest of all?
I wish it were Christmas...
How I wish it were Christmas.
I wish it were Christmas...
Each day.

[remix after the Twelve Days of Christmas song]

Timmy: I wished each day would be Christmas.
We know it's a clue,
To revice the temptation.
In Spain, Canada, Japan, and Africa.
I'm a pronoun,
Chester: They're a pronoun.
AJ: He's a pronoun!
Cosmo: She's a pronoun.
Wanda: Wouldn't you like to be a pronoun, too?
Chester: Won't becuase Christmas doesn't come from a store, means a little bit more!
The Halloween pumpkins tickle REALLY SILLY!!!!!
AJ: Pirates and pirate-fighting can always make me unhappy...
Crocker: For more than a decade, were all out of ammo, get us some more snacks!
AJ: ...And the ammo fires donuts, popcorn, pretzels, cookies, pies, and cakes! To surprise we never have to be scared to do what was right!!
I just want to have a pledge.
I really just want to have one.
Crocker: He likes to! And he heal is boo-boos.
Chester: Errg. Ninevites.


[reprise at end of episode]

Timmy: I wished every day would be Christmas.
Jeepers, how foolish I was.
It isn't a gift, it isn't a toy
It's the family and friends that I really enjoy!
I wish that tomorrow weren't Christmas.
But I wish that the feeling would stay.
'Cause Christmas can always be there in your heart.
And never be locked to just one single day.
It's great that tomorrow ain't Christmas.
In Dimmsdale, London and Rome.
If I had just one wish
I think it'd be this...
I really just want to go home now.
I really just wish I were home.

Boys in the Band/Hex Games [2.2][edit]

Timmy: Cookies? For dinner? With our... phone number on them?
Dad: These aren't for you son, these are for the Chip Skylark concert!
Mom: We're going to hurl these on stage and hope that Chip calls us, and offers to be your big brother!

Vicky: MOVE IT, TWERP! It's called 'Pay-Per-View'; which means if I don't view, THEN SOMEONE'S GONNA PAY!

Timmy: Yeah, well, you know what I wish? I wish something bad would happen to him!
Wanda: Okay, but you can't wish him maimed.
Timmy: Okay, then. I wish-
Cosmo: Or injured.
Timmy: Then-
Wanda: Or beaten...or dead.
Timmy: Fine. I wish that the worst possible non-lethal thing would happen to Chip Skylark right now!

Chip Skylark: Tuesday's apple sauce day.

[Vicky has captured Chip Skylark and is showing him her dresses]
Vicky: Do you like THIS one that makes me look like Mrs Chip Skylark, or THIS one that makes me look like Mrs. Chip Skylark!?!

Vicky: I love you, Chip Skylark! I'm gonna call all my friends and invite them to the wedding! First, I gotta find some friends.
Chip Skylark: Another day, another wackadoo holding me against my will.

Vicky: You can watch this while I find someone who will perform a marriage ceremony between a crazed fan and a celebrity teen hostage. To the Internet!

Timmy: I'm really sorry about [Vicky holding you hostage], Chip.
Chip: Oh, that's all right, little pal. It's not like you wished for this to happen.

[Chip Skylark's Icky Vicky song]
V...I...C...K...Y... The sound of her name makes the little kids cry. Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!
Hey Vicky, you're so, so icky. Just the thought of being around you makes me oh, so sicky.
Hey Vicky won't you please explain how you get so much enjoyment out of causing kids pain.
Oh Oh Oh! A chick who's just plain mean. A sour sweet sixteen.
She's a fire breathing dragon in a pair of black jeans.
Eeew!
Hey Vicky won't you tell us true; how we ever got the bad luck to be stuck with you.
Oh Vicky can we say one thing, it's your super total yuckiness that makes us wanna sing
Icky Vicky.
Eeew! Eeew!
Icky Vicky.
Eeew! Eeew!
Icky Vicky.

Vicky: LOOK CHIP!! I found the only Justice of the Peace on earth who can marry a couple against their will!


[an astronaut is planting a flag on the moon, when Timmy floats past on a skateboard]
Astronaut: Houston, we have another problem... Over.
Controller: It's always problem, problem, problem with you guys. Don't you ever call just to say "hi"? Over.

[Cosmo is riding on Timmy's back as he skates through a jungle, in a pastiche of Yoda and Luke in The Empire Strikes Back]
Cosmo: Learn to skate in difficult environments you must... because scared of gorillas am I!

A.J.: Wow! Look at Timmy roll nimbly back and forth! I mean...[looks at a book of Skate Lingo] Shred!

A.J.: Hey! Vicky's totally cheating! I mean... [looks at a book of Skate Lingo] Cheating!

A.J.: [explaining to Vicky why she can't do the "Timmy Tuck"] Timmy's small and nice; you're tall and weighed down with too much evil.

Vicky: (refusing to give Timmy the crown) Oh, you want this crown? You got a better chance of some loser 12 year old waistory falling out of the sky and plowing me into the ground!

(Francis falls out of the sky on a skateboard screaming and plowing Vicky in the ground.)

Vicky: Here you go.

Cosmo: (seeing Chester crash) "Wow, his whole face hit at the same time! He must be really good!"

Boy Toy/Inspection Detection [2.3][edit]

Crimson Chin Action Figure: There's evil afoot...I mean, a-Chin!

Chester: Wow! A Timmy Turner action figure! With thumb-sucking action! Yo!

Crimson Chin Action Figure: I eat evil...for breakfast!

Crimson Chin Action Figure: I have goats...in my pants!

Crimson Chin Action Figure: Justice...thy name is Chin!

Crimson Chin Action Figure: Of all my muscles, my brain is one of 'em!

Timmy: I wonder why I got so bored with you?
Crimson Chin Action Figure: Check out my dimple, it's huge!
Timmy: Now I remember; your action phrases stunk!

[Vicky is demanding that two boys do her chores]

Vicky: You do my dishes, and you cut my lawn.
Boy: But these are your chores.
Vicky: And these are High Definition photos of you two sneaking into an R-rated movie! AAAAAAAAAND...''ACTION!

Vicky: Well, well, well, what's this? Two new toys? [grabs Cosmo and Wanda] Well, guess who they get to meet!
Tootie: Not Mr. Hammer....
Cosmo & Wanda: Mr. Hammer?
Vicky: Yes, Mr. Hammer and his friend, Mrs. Saw! [Vicky takes out a hammer and saw.]
Cosmo: Hi, Mrs. Saw! I'm Cosmo, and this is Wanda! [Wanda glares at him.] Don't you want to be a good host?
Tootie: NO! Those are Timmy's dolls!
Vicky: Oh, that changes EVERYTHING! [she takes out a blowtorch.]
Cosmo: Hey! Mr. Fire! Have you met Wanda?

[Vicky's dog Doidle peed, which was actually spilled lemonade]

Vicky: Bad dog! You know you're only supposed to do that outside or at Timmy's house!

Timmy: I'm just...
Cosmo & Wanda: A stupid ten year old boy!
Timmy: Right. And I'm not interested in girls, and I won't be until I'm...
Cosmo & Wanda: A stupid eleven year old boy!
Tootie: Then...there's hope? THERE'S HOPE!

Crimson Chin Action Figure: I am totally into the idea of you giving me to Tootie. This way, she'll always have a little piece of you that she can smother and choke with love.
Timmy: Wow! That was an oddly specific action phrase.

Crimson Chin Action Figure: I put the "man" in mandible!

Vicky: When it rains, it melts!

Crimson Chin Action Figure: Evil redheads make boy bands say "Ewwwwww."
Vicky: Why won't this stupid toy BREAK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

[Mom and Dad are eating breakfast]
Dad: Honey, you've outdone yourself again! What do you call this?
Mom: Cold cereal and milk.
Dad: It's marvelous! I'm falling in love with you all over again!

Dad: Did you notice all of those nice things Timmy has? I don't remember getting him those nice things. Why don't I have nice things?! I want some nice things!

Dad: [seeing that Timmy's room is full of stuff that he hasn't bought for him] Young man, where did you get all these nice things?
Timmy: Uh...Internet?
Dad: And where did you get Internet?
Timmy: Uh...uh...
Dad: [gasps] He's stammering! Our son is the Wall-2-Wall-Mart shoplifter! [screams like a girl]
Timmy: What?! You don't think I stole this stuff, do you?
Dad: [screams like a girl again]
Timmy: That's a yes...but I didn't do it!
Dad: [screams like a girl again then passes out]
Mom: That's it, young man, you know you're not supposed to make your father scream like a girl three times in one day!

Cosmo: [trying to distract Jorgen with a slideshow] And this is us vacationing in Egypt. [showing an image of Wanda in Egypt with a disgusted expression as Cosmo is also shown in the image vomiting into a barf bag]
Wanda: Cosmo had food poisoning.
Cosmo: [a similiar image to the first one, but set in Paris] And this is us in Paris.
Wanda: Food poisoning.
Cosmo: Fancy food poisoning! [shows another image with Cosmo and Wanda in a amusement park setting] And this is me getting food poisoning in Kidneyland- [Jorgen vaporizes the projector screen]
Jorgen: Your puny slideshow does not amuse me.
Cosmo: [cowering alongside WAnda] Well, we could just sit here cowering in fear of you.
Jorgen: Oooh! I'll get my camera!

Police Officer: [to Timmy, as he confronts Francis] Alright, son. Leave this law-abiding grey child alone!

Mom: Timmy, we love you and they just want to help!
Timmy: Oh, yeah? Do you love me enough to give me a chance to show you that you're wrong?
Dad: Well, all right, son. One chance, but if you're wrong it's off to the clink...which I hear is nice! Why don't I get to go to the nice clink?!

(Mom and Dad break into Timmy's room with a tank he had wished for)

Dad: Say! Where'd you get the nice tank, son?
Timmy: Uhh... Internet?
Mom and Dad: Works for us!

(They drive out of the room and over a car)

Mom: Was that the Dinkleberg's car?
Dad: I hope so! That's what I was aiming for!

Action Packed/Smarty Pants [2.4][edit]

[While watching television, Cosmo is disguised as a box of popcorn, Timmy eats part of him]
Cosmo: Aaah! My brains! Babble and drool!

[Timmy is transformed into a Bruce Willis style action hero]
Timmy: Awesome! I have a five o'clock shadow!
Cosmo: And it's only 7 A.M.!

Timmy: The horror! The pure, unadulterated PG-13 horror!

Cosmo: [is being disintegrated by Jorgen's invention] You musn't blame yourself, even though it is all your fault.
Wanda: Timmy, remember- we love you...
Timmy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I goofed up this world. Now, I'm ungoofing it.

(While on the phone)

AJ: Are you playing the Crash Nebula video game? Shouldn't you be studying?
Timmy: What are you? My Mom?

(Timmy hangs up)

AJ: Hey genius, you missed the receiver.

(Timmy hangs up again)

AJ: Nope, still off.

(Timmy is studying for his quiz):
Cosmo: Hey, wanna play the Not Study Game?
Timmy: How do you play?
Cosmo (after shoving Timmy's textbooks off the desk): You're already playing!
Cosmo & Timmy: YAY!
(after a "Not Study" poof, we see Cosmo and Timmy playing the Crash Nebula video game)

Timmy: Shouldn't you be rescuing a calculator from a tree?"
A.J.: Spell "calculator".
Timmy: C... A... L... Q... (A.J. smiles at him) Later! (runs away)

Timmy: I don't know anything anymore!
Cosmo: Welcome to my world!

Super Bike/A Mile in My Shoes [2.5][edit]

Wanda: And don't make him re-live Super Toilet!
Cosmo: It took the plunger...THE WHOLE PLUNGER! (curls into fetal position and sucks his thumb)

Super Bike: [after Timmy says he can't win, if it would only make his dad sad] Well, if he really loved you, he'd let you [head turns into a dragon, with a demonic voice] RIDE ME!
Timmy: Don't say that! My Dad loves me!
Super Bike: How do you know he's not lying?
Timmy: How do I know you're not?
Super Bike: Well, [turns back to its regular self] I'm a bike.

Cosmo: Hi, Super Bike! Meet Super Screwdriver!
Super Bike: [angrily] Super Toilet!
Cosmo: Aaaaaaaaaaah! So...much...clogging! (curls into fetal position and sucks his thumb again)

Wanda: Super Bike... Meet Super Toilet!

Timmy: [poofing into Hairy World] Fairy World?
Hairy monster: Hairy World.
[A fairy cow poofs in]
Cow: Dairy World?
Timmy: Hairy World.
Cow: Oh darn it! [poofs away]

Cosmo: (rubbing the wands together like sticks) Huh! If I could just light these candles, we could eat!
Wanda: Did it ever occur to you we're in a fishbowl filled with water?
Cosmo: That's why I'm trying to light these candles. Somebody's got to dry up all this wet food!
Timmy: Hey guys, what's new? (the candles light)
Wanda: Uh...the laws of physics?

(Talking to Cosmo as Timmy)

Mom: Oh, sweetie, you feel warm, and you look positively green!
Dad: Warm? Green? Those are all the symptoms of steamed broccoli! Get the thermometer! And the salad shooter!

Mom: [finds Wanda (as Timmy) watching TV] Timmy! What are you doing up this late? It's way past your bedtime!
Wanda: But...uh...but...
Dad: No "buts", young man. You march straight to bed, and don't make me get the giant robot in here.
[Mom and Dad then walk into the kitchen and find Cosmo (as Timmy) sneaking into the cookie jar.]
Mom: Timmy! What are you doing in here? You were just in there.
Cosmo: Uh.... no I wasn't?
Dad: Well, that settles that. But you know you're not supposed to eat sweets this late at night...or change from pink to green.

Mom: (seeing Cosmo disguised as Timmy) Oh no! Timmy feels warm! And he's green!
Dad: Warm? Green? Those are all the symptoms of steamed broccoli! Get the thermometer! And the salad shooter!
Mom: (spotting Timmy (as a gill-less fish) floating upside-down in the fishbowl) I better get the fish a thermometer, too!

Timvisible/That Old Black Magic [2.6][edit]

[Timmy is being chased by Francis, the school bully.]
Wanda: You know, sweetie, running away from your problems never solved anything.
Francis: (knocking other children out of the way) Turner!
Cosmo: But it's great cardio - run, Timmy, run!

Spanish teacher: ¿Donde esta el queso de apestoso? (Translation: Where is the American cheese?) [original airing version; all current versions substitute "American" for "smelly"]
Cosmo: (holding up a piece of cheese emblazoned with the U.S. flag) ¡Aquí! (clears throat) Tengo un puerco en mis chones.
Wanda: You have a hog in your pants?
Cosmo: ¡Sí! (pulls a pig out of his pants)
Spanish teacher: Then you get extra credit!
All: Yay! Extra credit!

Dad: [holding two cell phones] Turner One, this is Turner Two, come in, over. Turner One come, in! WHY DON'T I ANSWER?!

Anti-Cosmo: I'm Anti-Cosmo, [pouring tea] I'm not an idiot in any way whatsoever.
Anti-Wanda: And I'm the Anti-Wanda! I'm incredibly stupid and I eat with my feets! [begins eating a sandwich with her feet]
Anti-Cosmo: You see, we've been trapped behind that blasted barrier for centuries. But we knew that one Friday the 13th, some child would be stupid enough to have his fairies wish him here, and set all of us free! You're our hero; our big, stupid hero!

[the Anti-Fairies are escaping from Fairy World]
Wanda: Jorgen, you have to get them back!
Jorgen: And I will! I will use every urge of my awesome fairy powers to... (factory whistle appears and blows) Shift's over - your problem!

Aide: Mister President, you almost caused a nuclear war! What are you going to do next?
President: I'm goin' to Escalator Land!

[at Escalator Land in a flashback]

Wanda: I thought you liked that other amusement park, Escalator Land.
Timmy: No way! That park was for babies...
[Flashback to Timmy's visit, riding an escalator)]
Young Timmy: Dad, when do we get to the ride?
Dad: This is the ride!
Mom and Dad: Yippee!

Foul Balled/The Boy Who Would Be Queen [2.7][edit]

Trixie and Veronica: [as heard by the boys] Blah-blah shopping! Blah-blah clothes! Blah-blah hair! Blah-blah boy bands! Blah-blah we'll never notice you!

Timmy: [after being turned into a girl] EEEEEKKKK! What did you do?! I didn't wish for this!
Wanda: You said "I wish" and "Girl".

Timmy's Dad: [eating Chester-endorsed breakfast cereal] Mmm! These Chester-O's are a great part of any winner's complete breakfast!
Timmy: Don't you want to try some Timmy-O's? [pulls out a cardboard box of cereal oats with a crude crayon drawing of Timmy taped onto it and we hear a laughing baby in the background]
Timmy's Dad: That loser cereal? That's for pack-mules. Son, I need to achieve.
Cosmo: [cereal is thrown into fish bowl] Hey! These are for pack-mules!

Timmy: [as a girl] I'm going out to the mall to find something Trixie would like. But just so you two have something to laugh at while I'm gone- [to Cosmo] I wish you were a woman, [to Wanda] and you were a man!
Cosmo and Wanda: What?!
Timmy: You're my godparents. No choice. [Cosmo and Wanda do as Timmy asked] Congratulations. You're now Cosma and Wando!

Wanda: [after Chester bunts the ball, and it grinds against his braces] Wait! It bounced against his braces and split into twenty-seven seperate, yet still-in-play, pieces of baseball.
Timmy: [with a calculator] Let's see... 3 outs each times 9 players...twenty seven outs?!
Wanda: That's nine innings of outs in one swing!
Umpire: Game over! Losers lose!

Mighty Mom and Dyno Dad/Knighty Knight [2.9][edit]

Dad: And that's all you need to know about where babies come from!
Timmy: But what's the machine for?
Dad: I'll tell you when you're older!

Mighty Mom: [stopping a helicopter getaway] It sure is drafty up here.
Dyno Dad: [to criminal] You better button up or you'll catch your death, OF JUSTICE!!

Sir Finkleberg: [greeting Timmy] What ho, tiny knight with a shield that smells like a hundred horses' butts? I am on my way to pull the sword from the stone, and claim my rightful place as King of England.
Timmy: And you are-?
Sir Finkleberg: I have many names; the Shining Knight, the Hammer of Fury. But you, my fellow warrior, may call me... Sir Finkleberg.
Timmy: Finkleberg? What kind of dumb name is Finkle- [gets stomped into a crevice by Finkleberg; then pops back up] Cool! I got trampled upon by Sir Finkleberg.

Fairly Fairly Quite Contrary/Nectar of the Odds [2.10][edit]

Juandissimo: Wanda, my love! (begins kissing "Wanda's" hand) I've missed you more than the sun misses the dawn!
Wanda: Well, that's all very flattering...
Cosmo: But that's my hand pal, and guess what, I don't need magic to turn it into a FIST! (tries unsuccessfully) (Juandissimo then turns Cosmo into a tortoise and his wand lands several feet away) When I get my wand..oh, you are in for it! (crawls towards wand)
Juandissimo: (over-dramatically) You see how he almost turned his hand into a fist?! I am lucky to be alive!

Jorgen: The handsome fairy has failed to rescue his godchild...(the crowd boos)...but he is still very sexy! (the crowd cheers and showers Juandissimo with flowers)
Juandissimo: This, I can live with.

Cosmo: [mocking Juandissimo] Hey, Muscles Magoo! (turns into Juandissimo) Look at me! I'm fancy, and my long black hair flows in the wind!
Juandissimo: Stop making fun of my outer beauty!
Cosmo: I'm strong, but I still lost my woman to an idiot!
[a few moments later]
Cosmo: (turns into a fat Juandissimo) Chunky Hunky!
Juandissimo: STOP!
Cosmo: [turns into a fat monkey Juandissimo] Monkey Chunky Hunky!

Juandissimo: (to Wanda) Your voice...is like the chorus of a thousand angels!
Cosmo: Yeah?! Well, my foot is gonna feel like the chorus of a thousand- (Juandissimo turns Cosmo into a tortoise) REVENGE! REVEEEEEENGE! (starts crawling towards his wand)

Wanda: Why doesn't he just wish for sweeter lemonade?
Cosmo: I can do that! [he takes off his shoes and socks, then sticks his socks into a glass.]
Wanda: I said "sweeter", not "sweatier"!
Cosmo: Really? I thought you said, "dunk your sweaty socks in Timmy's lemonade"!

Chet Ubetcha: This is Chet Ubetcha with BIG news...I'M THE TALLEST NEWSCASTER ALIVE! DETAILS AT ELEVEN!

Hail to the Chief/Twistory [2.11][edit]

Wanda: (with Cockney accent) Oh no! Without our wands, we can't use our magic to change everything back!
Timmy: (with Cockney accent) I say, this is a bit of a stickywicket! (normal voice) I mean, dude! This reeks!

Timmy: Oh no!! One of them is going to turn the future America into a yellow-toothed-electricity-deprived rathole!!
Cosmo: Yeah! And the other one is going to turn it into a brightly-lit democratically-run rathole!!

Wanda: Don't worry Timmy! It's not over 'till the fat lady votes!
Cosmo: Can the principal vote?

George Washington: (recurring) Must- chop- WOOOOOOD!

Fool's Day Out/Deja Vu [2.12][edit]

Wanda: Cosmo thinks everything's funny. Watch. (to Cosmo, speaking in a monotone voice) Pudding.
Cosmo: Ha-ha-ha! She said 'puh', then 'ding'!

Mom: We're going to read fairy tales to low privileged, confused dolphins!
Dad: We're gonna read "The Little Dolphin Who Cried..." [dolphin cry]!
Mom: Have fun, you two!
Vicky: Oh, don't worry. (holds up a bunny suit) We're going to redefine the word fun!

Dad: Hey, guess what, Timmy, we're gonna grade you on your performance! We'll give you an A-! [holds out an A-]
Timmy: An A-minus?!
Dad: Up-bup-bup, questioning the grades, that gives you a B. [holds out a B]
Timmy: But...
Dad: Talking back, that gives you a C! [holds out a C]
Timmy: A C?!
Dad: Raising your voice! D! [holds out a Q]
Timmy: That's a Q!
Dad: That gives you an F, smarty pants! [hands him an F]

Dad: Hey, guess what Timmy, we're gonna grade you on your performance!
Timmy: Oh yeah? Then I'm gonna grade you too!
Dad: A B?!
Timmy: Up-bup-bup, questioning the grades gives you a C!
Dad: Uh...uh...uh...
Timmy: Stammering gives you a D!
Dad: What...are you mad?!
Timmy: Insulting the teacher, F!
Dad: (starts to cry and leaves with Mom]

Timmy: [Timmy is playing a Crash Nebula video game, like he did back in "Smarty Pants."] Hey, are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Cosmo: Uh... never cook bacon with your shirt off? [whistling, removes shirt and tie, bacon splatters out of the pan]
Timmy: No. Not that! I wish my life had a reset button!

Timmy: This time I'm ready for Crocker's stupid test!
Mr. Crocker: Heh. Good news, Turner. You've taken F to a new level. I'm going to give you a Super F! Heh-heh-eh-eh-heh!
[Timmy pushes the re-do button]
Mr. Crocker: A D! As in...don't get your hopes up for a high-paying career! (chuckles)
[Timmy pushes the re-do button]
Mr. Crocker: B! As in...but you're not supposed to be this smart.
[Timmy pushes the re-do button]
Mr. Crocker: An A-! As in...oh, wait, I give so few A's, I have no prepared sarcasm.

Scary Godparents [2.13][edit]

Cosmo: This year, I'm a floating human janitor.
Wanda: And I'm a floating human nurse.
Cosmo: Who floats!
Vicky: And I'm the Wicked Witch of "Where's-My-Candy?!"

Dad: I'm going as your mom!
Mom: And I'm going as your dad!
Timmy: And I'm going straight to therapy.

Jack-O-Bots: Activate gloat mode!

Ruled Out/That's Life [2.14][edit]

Timmy: It's violent!
Dad: And educational!
Both: But mostly violent! YAAAAAAYYYY, VIOLENCE!

Timmy: Dad, run! Eddie's back from the dead and he wants to KILL you!

Shiny Teeth/Odd Odd West [2.15][edit]

Chester: Hey, why does this jail cell have a coyote-shaped dog door?
Sanjay: Because fate is cruel?

Chet Ubetcha: [as Chip Skylark speaks (and fails) in protest against making Skip Sparkypants the star of a commercial] What? There's a boy trapped in a well? This is Chet Ubetcha saying: "I'm getting that boy out of the well!"

Cosmo Con/Wanda's Day Off [2.16][edit]

Dad: Hit it, Britney!
Britney Britney: You got it! [starts dancing with her backup dancers]
Mom: Hey! Wait a Minute! Dad never asks ME to hit it! [pulls her shirt sleeve up and kicks Britney Britney out of the house] AND STAY OUT!
Britney Britney: (digusted) That's it! No more private gigs!

Mom: Can't a woman clip coupons in the comfort of her own bathroom?
Mr. Crocker: [nervously] I guess I should've knocked first.

Juandissimo: [covered in roaches] Ladies! Come back! Underneath this crunchy roach exterior beats the heart of a lover! [is overtaken by the roaches]

Cosmo: (observing a cockroach with Timmy, but nothing of interest has happened yet) Are we done yet? I've got nothing, and this is boring.
Timmy: We haven't learned anything yet.
Cosmo: (estatically) Make a wish! Make a wish!
Timmy: I don't know; with Wanda not being here, and you being- you... [sees Cosmo tearing up] Oh, come on! It's not that I don't trust you, it's- no wait, it's pretty much that.

[Cosmo wails in hysterics]

Timmy: Okay, okay! One teeny wish, and that's it!

Cockroach Leader: [notices a UFO attacking] Forces are invading! We need reinforcements!
Timmy: Martians? You sent martians to destroy the cockroaches?
Cosmo: You said nothing on Earth could destroy them, so I picked something not from Earth. [UFOs zap anything within sight, but fail to kill any roaches]
Timmy: Martians destroy everything; except roaches! Don't you watch the movies?
Cosmo: Please, Timmy! Wanda's gonna be home any minute. If she sees this, she's gonna think I'm a idiot!
Timmy: And this would be news to her how? [Cosmo's lip quivers] Augh, great. The lower lip thing.

Season 3[edit]

Information Stupor Highway [3.1][edit]

Veronica: Do I think Timmy Turner is neat? Actually, my love for him burns with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns, but I can't let Trixie know that. [typing] No way, he's gross!
Timmy: Oh, great. The crazy one likes me.

A.J.'s mom, Mr. Turner, Trixe's dad, Crocker's mom: (A.J.! Timmy!, Trixe!, Denzel! Denzel Crocker!) I'm respecting your privacy by knocking but asserting my authority as your mother(A.J., Crocker)/father (Timmy, Trixe) by coming in anyway! (breaks down door with battering ram)

Crocker: Mother, stop interrupting! Can't you see I'm busy, ranting?!
Crocker's Mother: But I need you to model this dress so I can herald it for the big dance tonight. [slips the dress onto Crocker]
Crocker: I hate modeling your dresses! Although it makes me feel pretty. Oh, well. At least no-one I know can see this.
Timmy: [seeing it from inside the computer] This is gold, and it's digitally recorable! I'm saving this.

Odd Jobs/Movie Magic [3.2][edit]

Cosmo: [after everyone else besides Timmy and his friends leave the showing of Timmy's film] Your friends really seemed to like it.
Timmy: Well, duh! They were in it; but what did Trixie think? [finds a picture of Trixie's hand, with a note written on it] You stink. Attached is a photo of my hand. Please talk to it.
Cosmo: I'm gonna say that's a thumbs-down.

Timmy: I'll never abandon you guys for a girl again! Now excuse me while I go abandon you for a girl .

Timmy: I don't understand! Why aren't you talking to me?!
Trixie: Because, anonymous voice from nobody, you won an award for comedy, and everyone knows that comedy is the lowest form of entertainment. Next to animation.

Trixie: Oh, my gosh! I forgot! I'm totally in love with rock stars!

Love Struck [3.3][edit]

Timmy: Cosmo! I wish all the girls were back.
Cosmo: You got it! [pause] What's a girl?
Timmy: Well, they're soft, and cuddly!
[Cosmo 'poofs' a big pink cushion into the room.]
Timmy: No, they're warm and they make you feel nice.
[Cosmo 'poofs' a monster truck into the room.]
Cosmo: [To monster truck] Yay! I'm gonna call you Wanda.

One of Cupids' Cherubs We're losing all love power, I'm transferring the emergency backup power to your coffee machine.

Wanda "Whoever you are, you're going down"
Cosmo "Whoever I am, no I'm not!"

Timmy: "Tootie, Will you be my valentine?"
Tootie: "Yes, Yes, YES!"
Timmy: "Oh, well."

(Tootie kisses Timmy a lot.)

Cosmo: "Awww, thats adorible."

(Tootie keeps kissing him a lot.)

Cosmo: "That's getting awkward."

(Tootie still kisses him a lot.)

Cosmo: "And now, they're getting creepy."
Wanda: "Oh, shut up and kiss me, will ya!"

(Wanda kisses Cosmo.)

Cupid: Ain't love a hoot. Come on everybody, let's march! One, Two! One, Two! One, Two

(The screen closes to black)

Trixe: (on Timmy's answering macheine) Hi, Timmy. It's me, Trixe.

Cherubs: (while transporting nuclear missles with hearts on them) LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE!

Most Wanted Wish/This is Your Wish [3.4][edit]

Mr. Crocker: Well, Ms. Tang, it appears that Turner is the only living thing left. So I'm going to pair you up with...this rock!
Trixie: Hee hee!!!

Jorgen: The rules of the Texas Cage Match are very simple: if you get blasted in the butt, YOU LOSE!!

[camera pans to two fairies with very large rears]

Large Fairy #1: Of course.
Large Fairy #2: Typical.

Cosmo during his training:
    • "I know how to make it (Pompeii) warmer!" (Mt. Vesuvius erupts, destroying the city)
    • "I know how to make it (Atlantis) cleaner!" (flushes it down the ocean)
    • "I call it (Xanadu) Pittsburgh!"

Wanda "Ordinarily, I'd agree with you, (door slams on her) but the slight concussion is making me less suspicious...has that hat always been orange?"

Chip off the Old Chip/Snow Bound [3.17][edit]

[Timmy is watching a Wheel of Fortune-like game show, the puzzle reads "GET CHIP SKYLARK TO SAY I WISH I HAD T_MMY TURNER'S VOICE"]

Contestant: I'd like to solve the puzzle! Is it "Get Chip Skylark to say I wish I had Timmy Turner's Voice?" [a buzzer sounds]
Host: No! I'm sorry. It's that old song, "Get Chip Skylark to say I wish I had Tommy Turner's Voice".

Cosmo: [Timmy uses the "Radioactive Remote", and his hair falls out] You may lose your hair, but you'll never lose the remote. And that was my slogan!

Wanda: [Timmy unmelts a frozen Cosmo and Wanda] We're unfrozen!
Cosmo: Unfrozen? Are we in the future?
Timmy: No time to explain! C'mon! We've gotta save Vicky!
Cosmo: Save Vicky? Timmy would never say that. What year is this, and what kind of twisted future are we in?!

Vicky: And then, when I was eight, my mom and dad said my turtle ran away. But he couldn't have run away. Turtles can't run!

Season 4[edit]

The Big Superhero Wish![edit]

Nega Chin: We'll meet again, Crimson Chin! I swear it!
Crimson Chin: You can't swear. Only the super-edgy 1985 Crimson Chin can swear!
1985 Crimson Chin: Yeah, and I got cancelled for it!

---

Timmy/ Cleft: Thanks for saving me, Crimson Chin. You're a real hero.
"Crimson Chin" (Nega Chin): Yes I am, Cleft. Yes I am. [evil laugh]
Timmy/ Cleft: Hey, what's up with the evil laugh?
"Crimson Chin": Um..uh...Stay in school! [flies off]

---

Doctor Crocktopus (Crocker): [imprisoned in the Nega Chin's lair] This is a very depressing room. No sunlight, no hope... I should teach kids in here!

---

Dr. Crocktopus (Crocker): IT'S THE NEGA CHIN!!! THE CRIMSON CHIN'S ARCHENEMY!!!
Baby Shredder (Vicky): How did you know that?
Dr. Crocktopus (Crocker): I've confiscated a lot of comic books in my time.

Channel Chasers[edit]

Vicky: Politically Inaccurate? There's no violence on that show! YAWN!
Politcian: Let me explain this in the most boring way I can... [Vicky swaps the channel to wrestling]
Vicky: Wrestling; now that's violent.

Vicky: You think you can stop me? Hah! This is the super violent Japanese action show where I learn all my evil Babysitting techniques!

Adam West: [voiceover in cab car] Hi there, fairy folks! This is Adam West saying, "remember to buckle up".

Timmy: Maho mushi wall run!

Wanda: [as she, Cosmo, and Timmy are trying to run away from an angry Sabretooth Tiger in a program resembling "The Flintstones"] Hey, didn't we already run past that couch, chair and lamp?
Bird: Eh, it's a cycle.

[the group then tries to escape in a stone car, running it off]

Timmy: I don't understand. If the cars are powered by feet, shouldn't we just keep running?
Cosmo: Aren't feet also powered by feet?
Timmy: This place is lame! I don't want to live in a world where household appliances can eat you- [they pass the living room background yet again] -and they use the same background over and over again.

Cosmo: Well, th-th-th-th-th-th-
Wanda: Cosmo, what's the matter with you?
Cosmo: Nothing! It's just really cold in here.

Future Timmy Turner: [in a channel program that resembles a parody of Blue's Clues; about Cosmo and Wanda] Why are those two pink and green things following us everywhere?
Timmy: Um, they're my goldfish. They accidentally fell into the TV with me, and they change just like we do?
Future Timmy Turner: Makes as much sense as anything else here.
Timmy: Wow! I'm as gulliable as every other adult when I grow up.

Wanda: Maho mushi kid toss attack! [throws Cosmo at Vicky]
Cosmo: Ack! I should listen to her more often!

Future Timmy Turner: [to Timmy] Stop! I just want to talk to you!
Timmy: [as Speed Racer ] Yeah, sure. Why should I? You're an adult, which means you're not a child. And if you're not a child, you're an adult. And if you're an adult, that means I shouldn't listen to you. Ah! Hoo! Hah!

Vicky: [notices a note that Tootie leaves for Vicky] Call the Turners. You're dead. I am not your sister? Who are you, Deep Toot?!

Mr. Turner: You dented a 747, destroyed Mr. Joel's house, and worse Dinkleberg won my plaque!! [outside the Turner's front window]
Sheldon Dinkleberg: [throws plaque like a frisbee] Fetch, Dinkle-dog! [to Mr. Turner] Better luck next month!

Timmy: Older? What happens when I get older?
Cosmo: Ah, Timmy. It's time for a little talk about something we fairies like to call, "The Wands and the Wings." [Cosmo holds out a pink sock puppet, and a green sock puppet]
Cosmo: You see, when a mommy fairy and a daddy fairy love each other very much...
Wanda: Cosmo, no! Not that speech!
Cosmo: But I already got the puppets out!

Genie Meanie Minie Moe[edit]

Timmy: [to Mr. Burkenbakke] Mr. Burkenbakke? What are you doing with this garage sale? There's no garage.
Mr. Burkenbakke: Of course not. I'm a teacher. I can't afford a garage. It's a "I Don't Have a Garage" garage sale. I don't make "Crocker" money.
Timmy: [reading a sign] Make Smoof, Not War? What's "smoof"?
Mr. Burkenbakke: Only the most naturally recurring material on Earth, little dude.
Timmy: How come I've never heard of it?
Mr. Burkenbakke: Because, "the man" doesn't want you to.

Norm: [appears after Timmy rubs his lamp] Whoa, man! That was some party. Hey! This isn't Marlo's house; and these aren't my pants.
Timmy: Hey, you're a genie!
Norm: Well, I guess we can cut brains off the wish list. Okay, kid here's the deal: I am Norm. I'm a magical genie, and- [Timmy, Cosmo and Wanda walk away] -hey! Wait up! [poofs back in front of Timmy] What's the big ten-year old hurry? What, are you late for a wedgie? Don't ya get it, for freeing me from the lamp, you get three wishes so- [Timmy and his fairies walk away again; and Norm poofs back up in front of Timmy] Hey! Smoof for brains! What part of three wishes do you not understand?
Wanda: Timmy doesn't need you. He has fairy godparents. [Cosmo and Wanda's hair gets tangled]
Cosmo: The swirl is dangerous!
Norm: [chuckling] Fairy Godparents? [sarcastically] Oh, yeah, they're useful.

Timmy: [in front of Trixie Tang's house] Time to get what I've always wanted; Trixie Tang's love.
Wanda: Timmy, this is going to end badly.
Timmy: I'll just be more specific: I wish Trixie Tang loved Timmy Turner.
Norm: Whatever you say. [puts wish in action]
Trixie Tang: [lovestruck] I love Timmy Turner. I love Timmy Turner.
Timmy: Excellent! [a boy walks up to Trixie] Not excellent! Who's that?
Norm: That? That's Timmy J. Turner, of Penouscha, Wisconsin. [Trixie kisses the boy, and he faints, awestruck; as Trixie floats another boy] That's Timmy K. Timmy, El Sadungo, California. [Trixie kisses the boy and he also faints; as Trixie then floats to a old man] Timothy T. Turner, of Plattsburgh, Georgia...
Timothy T. Turner: [Trixie gives him a peck kiss of affection] Oh-ho, you are sweet!
Norm: You know what they all have in common? They're all smarter than you! [laughs] You think this is fun? I think so.
Timmy: You're going back in the lamp.

Timmy: [to Norm] You tricked me!
Norm: How could I trick you? I mean, you're ten years old and I'm fifty thousand. And with those teeth. I mean look at the size of those things! Hey, there's something you could've wished for: human-sized teeth.

Norm: [trapped inside a vacuum] I can't get out! Darn it! This bag is made out of smoof, isn't it? There are three things I can't escape from: magic lamps, the charms of Barbara Eden, and smoof stuff!

Police Guard: [handing Uncle Albert a package] Package, Uncle Albert.
Uncle Albert: Splendid! Put it by the other ones, eh? [sets down Norm's lava lamp] Ah, another lamp for my collection. I can't wait to rub it... [Norm smirks triumphantly] ...as soon as they let me out of this straightjacket!
Police Guard: [to another guard] Poor sap. He thinks genies really exist.
Guard: Loony, eh?
Uncle Albert: Ah-hahahaha! GENIES!
Norm: [in defeat] Aw, smoof!

School's Out the Musical![edit]

Sanderson: [as the Pixies are driving along in the desert in a car] Well, HP, it seems like another thirty-seven year plan to take over Fairy World has failed.
Head Pixie: Yes, Sanderson. It seems like as long as there are fairies on Earth, we will never get the upper hand.
Sanderson: I can't believe they're making us drive home this time.

Flappy Bob's Father: [thinking their circus train is about to crash] I knew I should've finished law school!

Kid: [standing in an extremely shallow pool of water (just a puddle of water) in Camp Learnatorium] How am I supposed to pee in this?

Sanderson: [to Timmy] Oh hi, Turner. Don't mind us; we're just enjoying the show. Your misery is like going to the movies for us. [to Head Pixie] Want some popcorn?
Head Pixie: It's unsalted and unbuttered, right?
Sanderson: And unpopped.

Wanda: Isn't there supposed to be a good cop and a bad cop?
Jorgen: We had some cutbacks. Now do you want to stay in fairy jail for the rest of your fairy life, or do you want to blame Cosmo?
Wanda: No!
Jorgen: [flips badge over to "good cop" side] Please?
Wanda: No!!
Jorgen: Okay, good cop over. Blame Cosmo!
Wanda: Blame Cosmo? [segue into "Floating with You" song]

Cosmo: [handcuffed with Wanda, after "Floating with You" song finishes] You really are kind of naggy.
Wanda: Did you get the handcuff key?
Cosmo: Yep. Operation "Distract-Jorgen-with-a-mushy-gooey-love song" works every time!
Jorgen: [sobbing in a corner over the love song] I saw her, and no other? And that part with the fingerprints! Fingers aren't shaped like that [hearts]! That is love!!

Cosmo: [pointing to bridge] There's still enough pretty color left for one of us to slide down the rainbow bridge! Wow. There wasn't a single manly word in that sentence.

Head Pixie: And just think all we had to do to beat our fairy enemies is to rip a clown from his super hilarious destiny and convince him that fun wasn't fun but that boring is fun.
Sanderson: You had to be a clown to fall for that one.
Head Pixie: A really dumb clown!
Flappy Bob: That kid is right! They were using me! I'll show them who's a dumb clown!

Jimmy Timmy Power Hour Trilogy[edit]

Jimmy Timmy Power Hour[edit]

Jimmy: How many times have I told you? I'm not Timmy Turner!

(The Jimmy controlling the machine is a decoy. The curtain pulls revealing Cosmo and Wanda were controlling the machine)

Wanda: Technically, he's not even Jimmy Neutron.
Cosmo: Pay no attention to the fairies behind the curtain.

Cosmo: Oh no! Fudgehead left us! I always knew you couldn't trust a fudgehead!

Timmy's Dad: I remember when you tried to avoid going to the dentist and you were "Kent Quazar" and the time you were avoiding to get a haircut and you were "Buzz Atoms". Hahahaha! Ooh, that's rich!
Jimmy: I have no idea what you're talking about, and I'm not Timmy.
Timmy's Dad: Of course you're not. That's why we invited 'Not'-Vicky to 'not'-take you to your 'not'-school.
Vicky: Don't worry, Mr. Turner. I'll make sure Jimmy gets to school safe and sound- [starts trying to pull at Jimmy's head] -as soon as I get this fake head off!

When Nerds Collide[edit]

Sheen: WHOA! HEY LOOK! I'M TOTALLY FLAT!!
Jorgen: [locking up the Anti-Fairy prison] At last! Complete and total lockdown! I've locked up the fairies, anti-fairies, and even the occasional gnome. Nothing in this universe can get in or out!
Professor Calamitous: [walks past] Hello, my good man.
Jorgen: (casually) Oh, hello. [pauses] Hey!
Professor Calamitous: Is this the emergency release button?
Binky: You bet.

[releases the anti-fairies, who immediately set out to Earth to cause chaos]

Professor Calamitous: [to Anti-Cosmo] Your friends are free. Now, for you to help me defeat Neutron!
Anti-Cosmo: Yes, about that...

[locks Jorgen and Calamitous up]

Professor Calamitous: I thought you were going to be my collaberator. You lied to me!
Anti-Cosmo: Yes. I do that from time to time. Its almost Like I'm evil. Well ta! [poofs away]
Professor: You mean like this? Why are you hitting yourself?
Cosmo: [to Sheen, who is temporarily transformed into a fairy] Do you feel illogical, punk? Well, do ya?
Sheen: I was born illogical!
Jorgen: What? Hot dogs do not fly! Or spit fire! That is illogical! And it makes me very angry!

The Jerkinators[edit]

Shirley: YOU TRICKED ME AND FOR THAT YOU WILL PAY THE ULTIMATE PRICE!
Timmy and Jimmy: [screaming] Awesome! [continues screaming]
Cosmo and Wanda: [screaming] Not awesome! [continues screaming]

Shirley: Oh I'm bored! TIME TO PLAY CARDS SCREAMING IN TERROR!
Timmys Dad Ooooohh! You could Throw Super models at us.

Shirley Hello? Sheen! Whats that? Sure! I could take a break from getting Timmy and Jimmy!

Libby Any other metal?

A.J.: [as he is preparing to freeze himself until the 23rd Century] Well, goodbye, 21st Century; with your wars, pestilence, and frozen expresso drinks. When I wake, those things will be a distant memory. [goes into freezing, and is pulled out by Chester seconds later]

Fairy Idol[edit]

Timmy Clone: This tea taste like stupid green fish and fat pink fish!
Cosmo and Wanda: WHAT??!!
Cosmo: Nobody calls wanda fat except my mother, and me that one time and ill never make that mistake again.
Wanda: Nobody calls Cosmo stupid except me, Jorgen, and well everybody and its still not nice!
Cosmo and Wanda: WE QUIT!
Wanda: Goodbye forever, you ungrateful- twerp!
Timmy: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!!
Norm: Hey. Anyone has an evil plan going great today? No just me? Ha Ha!
Timmy: You made my godparents quit. Why you do that?
Norm: Isn't it obvious? With those 2 out of the picture that position is open to anyone including me. All the power of a Genie all the freedom of a fairy. How great will that be? For me.
Timmy: You'll never get away with this!
Norm: Sure I will because according to Da Rules in about 4 seconds Jorgen is going to wipe your memory.
Jorgen: Timmy turner you have lost your godparents!
Jorgen: Binky, I need more ominous music. Play track 7. [Binky turns on a track on a CD which plays "Pop Goes the Weasel"] I SAID TRACK 7!
Binky: Sorry!
Norm: Well jimmy mcjarhead I was hoping I could go from filthy genie trapped in a lamp to idiot fairy not trapped in a lamp.
Norm: I'll tell you in song!
AJ: We don't feel like thinking anymore. SURFS UP DUDES!!
Norm: (After 2 weeks of not granting a wish) And then I said who cares?
Norm: Oh but before I grant your wishes I QUIT! HA! IM NOT A FAIRY ANYMORE! DOUBLE HA HA!
Jorgen: Timmy Turner once again you have lost your fairy. BINKY TRACK 7! And this time when I wipe your memory it will stay wiped!
Norm: Hah!
Jorgen: And you! You are no longer a Fairy you are a genie once more!
Norm: You think I care? I still jerked Timmy of his godparents and those two floating nitwits are out of a job. I still win!
Chester: [to Norm] Nobody makes a fool out of Chester McBadbat; except the school system, the government, and every girl I've ever met!
Girls: They're bald! Gross!
Timmy: Hat. Clothes. Shoes— (he looks down at his feet; due to the way he is drawn, his pants and "shoes" are the same, continuous object) Whatever! Bed covers. Enjoy your day off guys; I love you!
Cosmo and Wanda: We love you too Timmy!
Cosmo: (after exploding due to magical back-up) Neat! I'm string! YAY!

Fairly Oddbaby[edit]

Pixie: We could get a big elephant and have it step on stuff!
Head Pixie: Come on people think. A plan for universal domination is not going to bust through that front door.
Jorgen: Give me the baby Turner and I'll train it to control its unpredictable magic. Trust me!
Timmy: No! I'LL NEVER! You have my blessing!
Jorgen: Hahaha! I really can't believe you fell for that again!
Anti-Cosmo: And look we teamed up to double the danger!
HP: Goodbye Timmy Turner forever! HAHAHA!
Anti Cosmo: OOOhh! Wonderful evil laugh HP!
HP: Not as evil as yours AC!
Anti-Cosmo: YOU CANNOT WIN!!
HP: Bow before our might!

Season 5[edit]

Season 6[edit]

Vicky gets Fired![edit]

Vicky: Guess what twerp its game night! So what U want to play? Checkers or Dungeons?

Vicky: Hello twerp WANNA PLAY A GAME?!

Chindred Spirits[edit]

Hair Razor: I LOVE BEING EVIL!!

The End of the Universe-ity[edit]

Wanda: Don't do it, Timmy. Think of all the people on the Earth.

Cosmo: Think of your parents who spent your college money on hot dogs and are unconcerned when Vicky shows up with chainsaws.

Wanda: (has him hitting himself with a frying pan.)

Mr. Crocker: Ahh! I'm naked!

Wishology series[edit]

The Big beginning[edit]

Teo: I'M THE ONE!!
Lord Moldywart: It's not moldy but it is indead a wart! AHAHAHA!
Eliminator: Timmy Turner! Eliminate Timmy Turner!
MERF Agent: EVERY STAR HAS VANISHED?!!
Binky: It's horrible in there and he recently had nachos!
Cosmo: Hang on to my bubble butt baby!
Timmy: I AM NOT AN ALIEN!!
Eliminator: You guys look totally stupid!
Eliminator: Next time use a straw.
Cosmo: I hate being gum. What happens if we break wind? Cool! I like being gum!
Wanda: Do not pop that bubble.
MARF Fan: Awesome light show!
Cosmo: Is it over?
Timmy: Now its over.

The Exciting middle part[edit]

Cupid: The Eliminators are back.
Mark: Dude, I don't think it digs the funk.
Timmy: Then lets see if it can rock and rollerskate.
Timmy: Now lets see how he likes my wennies. Not the catch prase I'm looking for but WITH THE WEENIES!!
Eliminators: (after being rebuilt with boombbox and roller skates) Get Timmy! Get Timmy Turner! Get Timmy Turner! Get Timmy Turner! Get Timmy Turner!
Crocker: Tell me you have fairies and we have a deal!
Tooyube character: I'm Fart blazer! I'm Fart Blazer! Pull my finger!
Kids: "It's fart blazer from toyube!"
Vicky: Money! Money! Money!
Timmy: Get the cash machine Vicky! Get it girl!
Eliminators: GET THE CHOSEN ONE!!
Dark Laser: I got blankets, a thermal refuge barrel, some earmuffs and my ex-wifes furr coat.
Vicky: Pass me the menu. Help me twerp. You're my only hope.
Vicky: HEY! WHAT DO I USE FOR A WEAPON?!!
Dark Laser: Here. Use the forks!
Crocker: I think it's time for you to chill out with my FAIRY FREEZER! Did I say my fairy freezer? I mean your fairy freezer which looks fabulous on you.
Dark Laser: HAH! YOU ARE NO MATCH FOR THE POWERS OF MY LIGHTSTICK! I mean your lightstick which looks good on you.
Vicky: MAY THE FORKS BE WITH AAAHHH!!!
Rock Guardian: Who goes there?!! Before this wand you can posses you must past the chosen test.
Timmy's Dad: WHAT DOES IT WANT?!!
The Darkness: TIMMY TURNER!!
Trixie: Timmy, how's my hair?
Timmy Turner: Perfect! YOU WANT ME DARKNESS?!! YOU GOT ME! So long Trixie.
Trixie: Timmy!
Trixie: He saved us all!
Vicky: I'LL NEVER CALL HIM A TWERP AGAIN!
Dark Laser: That's big. Are you sure you can fly it?!!

The final ending[edit]

Timmy: Stop! If you fire he'll absorb the weapons and use it against you!
MERF Agent: What do you know? You're just a kid without any hair on your body.
MERF Agent: Okay. If you say so and FIRE!!
Destructinator: The chosen one had fled his world and with magic there's nothing stopping me from making it my world!
Robofied humans: We're at your command oh great streetsweeper of doom!
Destructionator: From now on call me the Destructinator! Muahahahaha!!
Turbo Timmy: Hey! You haven't seen a world full of imprisoned fairies that could use some magic, have you?
Destructinator: I wish you had giant ears!
Turbo Timmy: But now you shall taste the thunderarm fury of my Thunder pits!!
Destructinator: I cannot be stopped. Thanks to you I have magic, I have destructopits and I have all the power in the universe!
Hugginator: Must hug Timmy Turner!
Turbo Timmy: The Darkness wasn't looking for trouble in the universe. It was looking for friends.
Yellowness: Friends.
Timmy: And finally the best kiss ever.
Cosmo: Just kidding. AAaahhhhh! Brain Freeze!!!!

Season 7[edit]

Anti-Poof[edit]

Anti-Wanda: I'm so happy I should explode.
Foop: Hello Clarice, I mean mother.
Anti-Cosmo: No silly. You are the opposite of Baby Poof and you name shall be FOOP!
Foop: Prepare for takeoff. Its time for a playdate OF DOOM!
Foop: There's a new sheriff in town and his name, unfortunately, is Foop!
Foop: I've waited my whole life for this moment! All 6 Hours and 45 Minutes of it!
Denzel Crocker: Who's The Boss Now Fizzy!

Playdate of Doom[edit]

Jorgen: I am Jorgen Von Strangle! DON'T BE A DUMMY!
Foop: Time to play with Poof.. the game of doom!
Foop: Hello Auntie Wanda and Uncle Idiot, I mean... Cosmo
Foop: Boy you are one annoying cleaning lady!

Operation Dinkleburg[edit]

Dinkleberg: You see Turner, I am part of a secret organization called MEAN!

The ministery of evil and abusive neighbors!

Balance of Flour[edit]

Poof: MORE! GOOD! MORE!!!
Poof: MORE BROWNIES!
Mother Nature: There's nothing here. IT'S NOT NICE TO FOOL MOTHER NATURE!

Crocker Shocker[edit]

Wanda: You built Fairy World over a place called Giant Bucket of Acid World ???!!!!!
Jorgen Von Strangle: In hindsight, it was probably not the best plan.

Timmy Turnip[edit]

Grandma Gladys: You stink!

[Grandma Gladys slaps Timmy with a fish]

Timmy: Why did you hit me with a fish?!
Grandma Gladys: It's a tradition in this holiday
Grandpa Vlad: In yakristmas we hit you with a seabass

Spellementary School[edit]

Foop: DEATH!
Mrs. Powers: Hello class. I'm Mrs Powers. Welcome to Spellementry School.
Mrs. Powers: Does anyboy wantas to make a nomination? [For class president]
Elf Kid: I nominate Foop

[Foop celebrates]

Elf Kid: Spelled backwards !
Foop: [To himself] You always falls for that...
Mrs. Powers: And the winner is Foop...
Foop: YES!
Mrs. Powers: ... Spelled Backwards!
Foop: Everytime! Wait, anonymous?!?! But that's impossible! I voted for myself, repeatedly!
Foop: [other personality] Actually Poof won me over my his speech so I changed our vote! Oh you imbecile!

Frenemy Mine[edit]

Vicky: Ahaha! I love tarring the twerp! [tries to run, but cannot]
Timmy Turner: Hah! You tarred yourself to the street! And here comes a steamroller!

Please Don't Feed the Turners[edit]

Timmy: You know, I'm not so sure we should go into space just 'cause a circus monkey picked our name from a hat.
Mr. Turner: That's exactly why we should go. Monkeys are never wrong about space travel.

[later, the rocket is headed right for the sun]

Mr. Turner: We're headed for the sun! We got a defective monkey!
Doug: I ain't here, [in Dark Laser's voice] 'cause I'm not Doug Dimmadome. I am Dark Laser. And you, Timmy Turner, have fallen for the old circus-monkey-picked-your-name-from-a-hat-to-win-a-trip-to-space-contest trick.

Season 8[edit]

Love Triangle[edit]

Mrs. Powers: Alright who threw that?!!
Goldie Goldengirl: Oh spiders!
FOOP: IT'S FOOP!

Invasion of the Dads[edit]

Mr. Turner: I'LL FIX IT!

Mr. Turner: Yesterday, I tried to fix a pencil sharpener at work and they had to CALL IN THE COAST GUARD!

Timmy: C'mon Dad, you're exaggerating

Mr. Turner: (Picks up Timmy to his face) Tell that to Mitch from accounting, he clung to a floating copier for hours until the fish CAME OUT!!! (Sobbing)Waaaah, oh Miiitch....


Mrs. Turner: Oh honey, don't be so hard on yourself. What do you say we make some popcorn and watch the toilet?

Mr. Turner: It's no use, I'm an incompetent BOOB !

(Walking sobbingly to the front door)I'm just going to stand in the garbage can, in the alley, for the rest of my life (Opens the door with a wrench, an ocean of water floods into the house)

Mr. Turner: (talking to Timmy) I flooded the house trying to make hot dogs.

Timmy: Guys! I need help.

Cosmo: Not now Timmy, we're upset 'cause Timmy blew up!

Cosmo: No! You have a perfect civilization. Why would you want to add a woman to it?

Cosmo: (talking to Timmy, about Dad ) He destroys everything he touches: The toilet, the TV, your childhood...

Timmy's Secret Wish[edit]

Groupies: YAY Timmy!

Cosmo: Give me a T I M M Y! What does it spell? Seriously what does it spell?

Green Fairy Council: The Trial of Timmy Turner will now begin!

Timmy: I object!

Blue Fairy Council: On what grounds?

Timmy: The fact we're losing?

Blue Fairy Council member: We've seen enough. Poof has made it clear to the court that Timmy is definitely not the worst god kid.

Foop: Objection!

Pink Fairy Council Member: ON WHAT GROUNDS?!!

Foop: Give me a minute. There must be something in these legal briefs. (starts looking through the documents. The blue fairy council member has raised his gavel) Come on, come on. A-ha! I have discovered devastating evidence against Timmy Turner. He hasn't made a million wishes after all. HES MADE A MILLION AND ONE!

Blue Fairy Council Member: Foop what exactly are you saying?

Foop: I'm saying that Timmy Turner made a secret wish.

Blue Fairy Council member: A secret wish? But that's the ultimate violation of Fairy Law!!!

Pink Fairy Council Member: Every wish must be accounted for otherwise godchildren could secretly alter the very fabric of the universe.

Jorgen: I think we all remember the last secret wish. December 19 1986. Little Joshuah Applebee secretly wished for Chuckles the Fairy eating Cockatiel. (A cockatiel appears.)

Timmy: Oh come on whats so scary about a silly bird? (The cockatiel is shown attacking Fairy World) Okay thats totally scary.

Jorgen: Ever since that fateful day all wishes have been carefully documented to avoid further catastrophe but somehow Turner got around the rules.

Wanda: Hold on a second. We never granted Timmy a secret wish. Right Cosmo?

Cosmo: I dont remember. But then I dont remember alot of things. Hey, what are we doing in a bowling alley?

Wanda: Timmy what did you do?

Timmy: (he looks around the courtroom) Oh alright. I did make a secret wish. Cosmo doesn't remember granting it because I wished he'd forget.

Foop: (plays scary organ music) Sorry I just love to play at funerals.

Jorgen: Turner, what did you wish for?

Timmy: Okay don't be mad but, I secretly wished that everyone would stop aging so that I could stay 10 years old and keep my fairies forever.

Blue Fairy council Member: What? WHAT?!! WHEN DID YOU MAKE THIS WISH?!!!

Timmy: 50 years ago?!!

Jorgen: So let me get this straight, you and everyone else on earth are actually 50 years older?!!

Cosmo: Do the math Jorgen. 10 + 50 is 13. You're fine Timmy. Lets all go home. If my hunch is correct there should be a puppy there waiting for me.

Blue Fairy Council member: Timmy Turner, this is an egregious violation of fairy law.

Pink Fairy Council member: YOU ARE TRULY THE WORST FAIRY GODKID IN HISTORY!!

Foop: Throw the book at him. Like this! (throws a book at Cosmo. The book knocks Cosmo into the wall).

Cosmo: Starting to remember why we're here now.

Blue Fairy council member: It is the decision of this council that every wish Timmy Turner has ever made will be undone and he will have no memory of his fairy godparents.

Cosmo and Wanda: What?

Cheerleaders: Yay, Timmy!

Blue Fairy council member: Timmy Turner, you have made a secret wish and been found guilty of being the worst fairy godkid ever. As a result, all of your wishes will now be undone.

Foop: Yes! I won the case! Take that, Poof! (Poof blows a raspberry)

Jorgen: Foop, you do realize that you're Poof's anti-fairy, which means if he goes, you go!

Foop: No! I won the case! Save me, Poof!

Pink Fairy council member: And now, Timmy Turner's wishes will be erased forevermore, ad infinitum, e pluribus unum, and a lot of other Latin words no one uses in their li-(mumbles).

Wanda: No! Poof! (Wanda and Cosmo hug Poof)

Foop: Hug me too! I'm frightened! (to the purple Fairy Council member) I'll tell you what. (gets a 1 dollar bill) Spare me and all this will be yours. Well, not all of it. Can you break a one?

(the Purple fairy council member bangs his gavel. The ceiling breaks away, revealing a vortex, which sucks up Foop. Poof is then sucked out of Cosmo and Wanda's arms into the vortex. The vortex then disappears.)

Wanda: (crying) Oh no! My baby!

Cosmo: (crying) Timmy! What have you done!

Timmy: I'm so sorry! I don't know how, but I'll make this right! (The blue fairy council member bangs his gavel, and Cosmo and Wanda disappear) No! Where'd they go?

Jorgen: Cosmo and Wanda have been sent back to Fairy World, where, thanks to you, they will have no memory of their baby!

Foop: "You said...WHAT!" (Looks back at Timmy and says in a tiny voice,) "Please save me!"

Blue Fairy Council member: And now it is time to undo your secret wish. Bring in Father Time. (he waves his arms but nothing happens) YOO HOO! FATHER TIME!! (Father Time appears)

Father Time: Sorry, sorry, I forgot to set my watch for Daylight Savings Time. I sprung ahead when I should have fallen back. Hey, I brought gifts. (he reaches into his beard) You know what they say, there's no present like the time. (pulls out four watches) Get it?

Blue Fairy Council Member: Hes been doing that same joke for thousands of years.

Father Time: So this is the kid who made the secret wish. YOU DON'T GET A WATCH MISTER. I WILL NOW SET THINGS RIGHT BY ADVANCING TIME ON EARTH 50 YEARS! SHAZAM!

Timmy Turner: Nothing happened.

Father Time: I know. I just like saying Shazam, and other z words, like Jacuzzi, zing, Zamboni, xylophone. Doesn't have a Z but it sounds like one. (holds up a watch in front of Timmy) Timmy Turner, you are about to age 50 years in the blink of an eye.

Blue Fairy Council Member: And you will have no memory of your fairies or of this council. (Father Time flicks the minute hand on the big watch forward. Time then advances 50 years)

Jorgen: Turner, Mr Crocker, what are you doing here?

Wanda: My baby hes gone forever.

Jorgen: What? Not my frosting! I'll defend it till my last breath.

Cyclops: GRARRR!!

Jorgen: Fine take it. I'm not so butterscotch with it anyway.

Cyclops: Thank you. Happy Halloween.

Timmy: "HEY! CHUCKLES COME AND GET ME! I'm a delicious fairy!"

Blue Fairy Council member: SILENCE! You've been summoned here because you violated the ruling of the Fairy Council!

Pink Fairy Council member: You helped Timmy free his erased wishes from the Hocus Pocanos.

Purple Fairy Council member: And now you will all be punished!

Poof: POOF POOF POOF!

Pink Fairy Council member: Thats the most brilliant legal argument I ever heard. Let the retrial begin.

Timmy: Ahhhh! Go away Chuckles. I lied. Im not a fairy.

Blue Fairy Council Member: Timmy turner. We have no doubt you acted heroically in saving your friends and foop. However you are still guilty of the ultimate violation in fairy law: Making a secret wish.

Timmy: Look Im sorry. I didn't make that wish to have magical fairies forever. I made it so that I could have Cosmo, Wanda and Poof forever because I can't imagine life without them. I don't care if I never get to make another wish just please don't take them away from me. They are my family.

Blue Fairy Council member: Bring in Father Time!

Fairy Cop: Looks like he's late again.

Timmy: Boy did I learned my lesson. Never ever make another secret wish.

When Losers Attack[edit]

Timmy: Your calling yourselfs the losers?

Wanda: Oh we took the bear bus.

Vicky: The eyes!

Meet the Oddparents[edit]

Mr. Turner: It's no use, son! The gig is up!

Mrs. Turner: We know your secret!

Timmy: Ahhh! You were right, Wanda! I got careless and now I'm totally busted!

Mr. Turner: That's right, son! You might as well 'fess up!'

Timmy: Well, -

Wanda: Timmy, no!

Poof: Poof, poof!

Timmy: It's too late. My mom and dad know I have... fairy godparents.

A FairlyOdd Movie: Grow up, Timmy Turner[edit]

[First lines of the movie]
Wanda: He's so cute when he sleeps!
Cosmo: Our little angel!
Wanda: Shh, don't wake him up!
Both: Happy birthday, Timmy!
Timmy: Wanda? Cosmo? What are you guys, crazy?
Wanda: You're a grown man still wearing horsey pajamas and you're asking us if we're crazy?
Cosmo: Crazy with excitement!

Timmy: Yep, my birthdays just keep getting better every year, thanks to you guys!
Wanda: Don't we always have the best time?
Cosmo: I can't tell time!
[Jorgen suddenly enters the room in a flash of lightning and a puff of smoke]
Jorgen: Timmy Turner! This is the last birthday party you and your fairies will ever have together! [gives Timmy a present] By the way, happy birthday.
Timmy: [opening his present] Da Rules?
Jorgen: Yes! And look at this, right here! Page 14-38, paragraph 3, subsection D!
Timmy: [reading] "A godchild loses his fairies when he grows up..." Not me.
Cosmo and Wanda: Yay!
Timmy: "...he leaves home..." Not me.
Cosmo and Wanda: Yeah!
Timmy: "...or experiences life's true magic - love." [Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof gasp]
Jorgen: Well?
Timmy: Again, not me. The only girl I've ever kissed was Tootie. It was thirteen years ago, it was forced upon me, and I did not enjoy it.
Cosmo: Look out!
[A thought balloon of young Tootie making a kissy face appears beside Timmy's head; Timmy, Cosmo, Wanda, and Jorgen all grimace at it]
Timmy: Anyway, she moved away and no one ever saw her again. So, love - not even an issue.
Wanda: True! According to Timmy's Love Meter, he's not in love!
Jorgen: This is not a game! The longer you keep Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof, the more you put them in danger of being exposed or captured!
Timmy: Like I said, not an issue! Relax! Have some cake.
Jorgen: Keep your cake for the inevitable fairy-go-bye-bye party. I will find a way. I will make you grow up! I am Jorgen, the most powerful fairy ever! [disappears]
Cosmo: Can I have some cake?

Timmy: [regarding his parents' birthday gifts for him] The want ads?
Mr. Turner: [gasps] Really? Ooh! They need unskilled workers at that new dynamite factory! Sounds exciting and dangerous!

[After Timmy collides with Vicky's sign]
Vicky: Well, look who it is trashing my day care center - the biggest twerp in Dimmsdale, Timmy Turner!
Timmy: Yeecch. Icky Vicky. [kids giggle] Still molding young minds, I see.
[The kids start shaking their squirtable cheese containers]
Vicky: Don't you shake your ba-bas at me! It's not snack time till I say it's snack time!
Timmy: And nothing enhances snacktime like moldy rotten string cheese in your ba-bas, huh kids?
[The kids start squirting their string cheese at Vicky.]
Vicky: Aaaaahhh! Aaaaahhh! This isn't over, Timmy Turner!

Mr. Crocker: Riddle me this, class! How does a 23-year-old man still manage to stay in the fifth grade all these years? How'd he do it? How is it even possible, hmmm?
Katie: Oh boy, here we go.
Mr. Crocker: Yes! [snaps fingers] Now I remember! He has... [children gasp and cover their ears] ...FAIRY GODPARENTS!! FAIRY GODPARENTS!! FAIRY GODPARENTS!! Ohh...
Timmy: Well, I've been in this class for thirteen years. How come no one's ever seen these fairy godparents?
Mr. Crocker: Oh, they will, Turner. See, I know you're remaining childlike in order to keep your FAIRIES! But I'll play along with your game, 'cause soon I will catch them. And then, it will be I, Mr. Denzel Crocker, who will be making the wishes around here!!! [the students stare at him] Heh. Go on... make a wish. I dare you.
Timmy: OK. [Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof appear as the badges on Timmy's backpack] I wish you had the atomic runs.
Mr. Crocker: [makes uncomfortable noises] Oooh. I need to use the restroom. Silent study until I return! Enjoy this one, Turner... because it will be your last.

Katie: Best day ever! Crocker has diarrhea.
Ravi: And school has let out early due to impending tornadoes...
Howie: ...when it's totally sunny out! Crazy, huh, Mouse?
Timmy: Crazy? If gettin' out of school early on my birthday and having more time to be a kid is crazy, well then people, slap me in a straightjacket!

Cosmo: We're so proud of you, Timmy!
Wanda: We'll always be together.
Timmy: You got that right! There's nothing in this world that I'd ever give you guys up for.
[Suddenly, Timmy sees Tootie walking by and is so lovestruck by her that he doesn't see where he's going and collides with a mailbox, falling off his bike.]
Cosmo: Timmy! Are you okay?
Timmy: Yeah.
Cosmo: Good! Then can we do it again? It was fun!

Magnate: Ladies and gentlemen, ever since Daddy slapped a shovel in my little hand, I have been looking for fuel to run our everyday lives. And so, when my high-tech thermal satellites detected a massive untapped combustible resource field under the city, I decided to come here to Dummsdale and... see for myself. [laughs]
Janice: Dimmsdale.
Magnate: What?
Janice: Dimmsdale.
Magnate: Well whatever. Dim, Dumm, what difference does it make? By the time I'm done with the place, you're gonna want to change its name to Stinking-Richdale!

Chester: Look who it is - Mr. Never Grew Up, Timmy Turner.
A.J.: He's checkin' us out!
Chester: Just like the ladies.
[Two girls nearby groan at them.]
A.J.: Yeah, that's right, Timmy T. Looks like A.J.'s all grown up and stylin' in a brand-new argyle sweater.
Chester: And me, professional security expert, fighting crime with my smarty melon and multiple keys on a retractable wire! [bites into his sandwich, causing ketchup to spill on A.J.'s sweater] He's just jealous.

Wanda: Timmy's staring at that girl!
Cosmo: I'll give him a slushee! [makes a slushee appear in Timmy's hand] See? It worked! [Timmy starts sipping the slushee and continues staring at Tootie] Oh wait, he's still staring.
Tootie: There's nothing wrong with the old Dimmsdale! And there's nothing wrong with the Dimmsdale Dogwood...
[Magnate snaps his fingers and his two goons start chasing Tootie. Timmy watches as she flips over a police line barrier and rushes towards the Dogwood tree.]
Timmy: Nice move!
Tootie: [as she chains herself to the tree] ...the tree I grew up with and climbed in this very park!
Magnate: Listen, Sister Suzie Saffron Wheat-Grassgulper, whatever your tree-hugging name is. You don't wanna mess around with Hugh J. Magnate Jr. So why don't you just toddle off to your yurt or wherever home is.
Tootie: This is home. I was raised right here in Dimmsdale! And the name's not Saffron Sippin' Wheat-Grass Gurglin' anything, it's Tootie!
[Timmy does a spit take and Cosmo and Wanda's eyes pop]
Timmy, Cosmo, and Wanda: Tootie!?
Cosmo: Here it comes again!
[A thought balloon of young Tootie giggling appears beside Timmy's head]
Magnate: I suggest you move your conifer-kissing keister, missy.
Tootie: Not gonna happen. Not if you're gonna knock down this tree.
Magnate: Well, have it your way. Boys! Tear down this tree.
Timmy: She is awesome!
Cosmo and Wanda: Awesome?!

Timmy: Hey, you can't tear down that tree with a girl chained to it!
Magnate: Don't get your knickers in a bunch, pimple-monkey! She'll move; they always do. [Janice glares at him] Well, they usually do.

Timmy: Tootie? Wow, I-I-I-I gotta tell ya, that was incredible!
Tootie: Timmy Turner. [giggles] Look at you! You haven't changed a bit. Not even a little.
Timmy: Where have you been?
Tootie: Oh you know, just traveling the world, making a difference, and trying to help helpless creatures. What have you been up to?
Timmy: Oh, uh, I'm still in school.
Tootie: Wow, an educated man. And look at this - you show up, and all these amazing things happen. It's like magic!
Timmy: M-magic? [Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof whistle innocently] No, no no. Me? No magic. No, not here. You kidding? Come on, no no no no.
Tootie: Well, it's great to see you.
[They share a hug. Cosmo and Wanda notice the Love Meter is rising, gasp, and cover Poof's eyes. Timmy then suddenly pulls out of the embrace.]
Timmy: Daah! Aah. Aah.
Tootie: What's the matter?
Timmy: Uh, uh, sunburn on my back. No hugs till it heals, doctor said. Gotta go! [leaves]
Cosmo: He is soooo smooth.

Magnate: [answering his cell phone] What?
Mr. Crocker: [speaking on the other line in a deep voice] I hear your perfect plan just got un-perfect. If you want answers, meet me tonight, 8-ish, in the Alley, corner of Hall and Oates.
Crocker's mother: Denzel, who are you talking to?
Mr. Crocker: [in his regular voice] Quiet, mother! I'm on the phone using my voice disguiser!
Crocker's mother: But your mac and cheese is ready!
Mr. Crocker: Oh boy! Mac and-- [deep voice] I mean, uh, come alone.

Wanda: Timmy, what's the matter? Sad that your birthday's over?
Timmy: I think I need to go to the doctor. My stomach's all in knots, and my heart is racing.
Cosmo: [turns into a doctor] Dr. Cosmo in the hizzouse! Ahh, no fever. [putting on a glove] Time for a full exam!
Wanda: You've been acting sick since you saw Tootie in the park yesterday.
Timmy: Sick? No, I just have a cold or something. Still, she's so brave, so sure of herself.
Wanda: [looks at the Love Meter] Oh no! You're falling in love with Tootie! That means you're growing up and you'll lose us forever!
Timmy: Uh-oh!
Cosmo: It also means I don't get to use the glove, doesn't it?

Tootie: It was nice meeting you! [leaves]
Mrs. Turner: No!
Mr. Turner: Wait! Don't go! Wait! Don't! Stay!
Mrs. Turner: Our vacation's already paid for!
Mr. Turner: We'll give you money!
Mrs. Turner: Livestock!
Mr. Turner: Raisins!

Wanda: Cosmo, we got to stop Tootie before she breaks up our family!
Cosmo: For once, I agree with your shrill, commanding, and authoritative voice! [Wanda glares at him] I mean, I love you!

Cosmo: Hey Timmy, let's do something really, really fun!
Poof: Pooh-pooh-poof!
Wanda: Yeah! Super fun!
Cosmo: Like shave Crocker, turn your dad into a woman, [Wanda and Poof look at him oddly] turn Wanda into a woman... [Wanda glares at him] I mean, you're the wind beneath my wings!

Tootie: You know what I wish for?
Timmy: No.
Tootie: I wish that we could help rebuild the park around the Dimmsdale Dogwood. You know, the way it used to be when we were kids.
Timmy: Wow. Nice wish. I mean, 'cause it's not a wish for yourself. You don't really hear wishes like that everyday.

[Cosmo and Wanda transform themselves into humans]
Wanda: Oh my gosh, we're humans! And look! I've got legs... that need to be shaved. Ewwww.
Cosmo: Woo, and I've got underarm hair! I'm definitely not shaving that.

Cosmo: Good evening, everyone. We're your perfectly normal not-magic-fairy human waiters with unbelievably super-hairy legs and underarms!

Timmy: What are you guys doing? And what have you done to yourselves?
Cosmo: We're waiters! 'Course, it's just a stepping stone on our path to becoming actors. STELLA!!

Katie: Hey Timmy, we were gonna go get ice cream. Wanna come?
Timmy: No thanks. I'm good, surprisingly.
Howie: But you always want ice cream!
Ravi: How about you wanna not come but give us some money for ice cream? [Timmy tosses him some money] He's totally distracted, which means we can keep the change!

Howie: Check it out!
Katie: They got Tootie!
Ravi: And I got tooty-fruity with hot fudge. I mean, we have to help her!
Howie: Let's get Timmy. [kids run]
Tootie: You?
Magnate: Ironic, isn't it? Someone who cares so much about helping this little creature got betrayed by a helplessing creature. [Magnate and bunny makes an evil laugh]
Wanda: Magnate's got Tootie! Hurray!
Cosmo: Yay! [Poof stares at them angrily]
Wanda: Well, I mean it's good that she gets to ride in a limo, right?
Cosmo: Yah. This means that we can always be with Timmy and things never have to change, right? [Poof stares at them more angry than before]
Wanda: Poof's intense stare of guilt is right, Cosmo. Here we are wanting Poof to grow up and we're keeping Timmy from doing the same thing.
Cosmo: You're right, Wanda. We have to do what's best for Timmy! [Poof grins]
Wanda: Aww. I'm proud of us, Cosmo. And thanks for staring such sense into us, Poof. [Poof glides to Cosmo and Wanda] Let's tell Timmy and save Tootie!
Crocker: Don't worry little FAIRIES! [He sucks Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof into a device]
Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof: AHHHHH!
Crocker: Thanks to my Atomic Fairy Incarcerator, I'll show Timmy Turner that I now have possession of his [spazzes] FAIRY... GODPARENTS!
Howie: Timmy, are you ok?
Timmy: What is it?
Howie: Tootie got kidnapped by a bunny in Magnate's limo.
Ravi: And there is no change. The ice cream came to exactly $20.
Timmy: Tootie's in trouble? Well, then I guess I wish she was right here back next to me. [kids stare at each other confused] I wish she was right back here next to me.
Katie: I think something's wrong with Timmy's brain.
Timmy: [looks at backpack; the buttons CW&P were on read HELP US TIMMY!] Mangnate just doesn't have Tootie. He's got..... [runs off]

Vicky: Hey twerp! Thought you might like a slice of my faceplant pizza!

Magnate: Any last words before I blast you out of existence?
Timmy: Uh, yes. I should have done this a long time ago. It's time for me to grow up!
Poof: Huh?
Timmy: I love you guys.
Cosmo and Wanda: We love you too.
Magnate: I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. Time's up! [pushes his wish button and prepares to blast them]
Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof: [getting shocked] Aaaaaaah!
Timmy: [embraces Tootie] I love you, Tootie!
[Timmy kisses Tootie passionately. As he does so, CW&P are revived and Magnate's power fades away.]
Poof: Huh?
Cosmo: [as he, Wanda, and Poof begin to fade away] What's happening?
Wanda: [looks at the Love Meter, which now displays "In Love" and is rapidly beeping] Cosmo, he's saving us!

Cosmo: [as he, Wanda, and Poof fade away] Don't forget to feed the dog!
Wanda: Cosmo, he doesn't have a dog!
Cosmo: Well, if you get one, don't forget to feed it!
Timmy: I'm gonna miss you guys forever!
Cosmo and Wanda: Goodbye, Timmy!

Tootie: Not bad, Turner. You saved my tree and stole my heart.
Timmy: It's amazing what you can do when you're grown up, huh?
Tootie: I can't believe it. All these years, you had fairy godparents and couldn't tell anyone. [giggles] That's pretty amazing.
Timmy: Ya, it really was. They were my best friends too. I-I just wish I could see them again.

Timmy: Cool your jets, Jorgen, okay? I already gave up Cosmo and Wanda, and I'm a full-fledged adult now. Tomorrow, I'm even buying deodorant.

Wanda: Isn't this great, Cosmo? After all these years, Timmy and Tootie finally ended up together!
Cosmo: I give them two weeks tops!

Timmy: Hey, I think Poof is trying to say something!
Cosmo and Wanda: Finally! His first words!
Poof: (Randy Jackson voice) Yo, man. This gonna be so cool, man. We're going to be bumpin', man. Tryin' to help the boys out. You know how we do it. You feel me, dawg? (Record scratches and plays)
Wanda: Uh... that's gonna take some getting used to.

[Mom and Dad sit at what seems like a beach laughing]
Dad: Finally we're on vacation.
Mom: Oh, who says you need to vacation in paradise? With Timmy gone....
Both: This is paradise!
Crocker: [Falls from the sky] Ahhhh! Everything ends at Turner's.
Dad: That's the worst waiter we ever had.

A Fairly Odd Christmas[edit]

Cosmo: And I, unfortunately, will not be going, because I'm extremely allergic to danger!

Denzel Crocker: Who knew reindeer poop was so sparkly?

Mr. Turner:Hi, Timmy! Hi, Tootie!
Mrs. Turner:Hi, Timmy! Hi, Tootie!
Timmy Turner]: Hey, mom and dad.
Tootie:Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Turner.
Mr. Turner:Oh, please, call us Timmy's parents.
Mrs. Turner:Just don't call us to say that Timmy's moving back home!
Mr. Turner:Yeah, right. 'Cause you're not, right? right? No! No, no, no!
Mrs. Turner:You can't, we've already turned your room into a secret spy cave.
Mr. Turner:Please, don't take away our secret spy cave! (Mrs. Turner starts crying)
Timmy Turner: Relax mom and dad, I'm not moving back home.
Mr. Turner:Oooh!
Mrs. Turner:Oooh! (?)
Timmy Turner: What you guys up to?
Mr. Turner: Duh, I'm dressed up as Santa.
Mrs. Turner And Santa's little helper!
Tootie: Very Christmassy...
Mr. Turner: It's Christmas?
Mrs. Turner: This year I'm asking Santa for something practical: A new computer!
Mr. Turner: I want something practical too: A magical pony, who poops ice cream, then he eats the ice cream, then he poops gold! Then he eats the gold, and then he poops out a motorcycle. And we all ride away... Bye! (Laughs)
Timmy Turner: Best parents ever...

Santa Claus: Timmy Turner!
Cosmo: Santa!
Wanda: Santa!
Santa Claus: I need a word with you! Timmy Turner...welcome to the North Pole. (Laughs)
Timmy Turner: Thanks, Santa.
Santa Claus: (Laughs) You must be Tootie...
Tootie: You know my name!
Santa Claus: But of course! And I know every present I've ever given you. Try me!
Tootie: Ah...What did you get for me when I was 8?
Santa Claus: A Professor Noggin's Chemestry set, and...ballerina shoes!

Timmy Turner: Santa Claus, did you hurt?
Santa Claus: Santa Claus? I'm the Easter Bunny!

Wanda: My wand is useless as Cosmo's invisibility helmet!
Cosmo: I'm right here! (whispering) She can't see me.

Poof: God bless us everyone!

See also[edit]

External links[edit]

Wikipedia
Wikipedia has an article about: