The Happy Cricket

From Wikiquote
Jump to navigation Jump to search

The Happy Cricket is a Brazilian animation film made in 2001 about Christopher, happy, a guitar-playing, and music-loving cricket who must save a star from Wartlord, an evil, tyrannical, and music-hating lizard king.

Directed by Walbercy Ribas. Written by Walbercy Ribas.
Tag line of the movie (taglines)

Christopher, the Happy Cricket[edit]

  • [first lines] My beautiful guitar! How did it get here? Thank heavens it didn't break.
  • A cricket can stop hopping, but singing, never!
  • [after hearing Wartlord's new law against singing] Singing is prohibited?! But if I'm alive, it's because I sing! Singing makes me dream! That decree is ridiculous!

Leonardo[edit]

  • Oh, great! More parts of my machine are being delivered!
  • [after seeing their favorite tree chopped down] This is terrible! What have they done to our beautiful tree?!

King Wartlord[edit]

  • Perfect! That diamond will be ours! With it, I will be the wealthiest, most powerful king in the planet! And I will build a gold statue, which will be seen on every corner of the world! [laughs evilly]
  • What are you doing?! How could you miss?! That's why you don't make any progress: you don't take things seriously! Work on that aim, you worthless FOOL!!!
  • [while trying to interrogate Snealy] Are you trying to make a fool of me, young man? Very well, allow me to introduce myself. I am Wartlord! Your king... [puts Snealy in his mouth and spits him out] and ruler! [laughs evilly]
  • [when the toads hand him Christopher's guitar] This is a guitar. Guitars play only music. AND I HATE MUSIC!!! I want that diamond! POWER!!

Buffuno[edit]

  • Allow to introduce myself. I am Buffuno, His Majesty's loyal gopher... I mean, His Majesty's loyal assistant!
  • [Christopher: Wait! But you're a bug, too. Shouldn't you be on our side?] Me? I'm no fool. I mean, I'm the royal fool. But I'm no fool, or am I a fool? I'm the king's fool, so I must be a fool! [chuckles] It always confuses me. Am I a fool or am I not?
  • [about Wartlord] Golly, this guy is really nuts!
  • [after being thrown into the swamp by Wartlord] NOW HE'S REALLY MAD THIS TIME!!
  • Oh, Kingy! Wartlord! How is your graffiti... No, no, your detritus?
  • [realizes Wartlord is dead after falling into a fire] Your Nothingness? Your Zeroness? Wait a minute. That's enough of that. I'm free now! [throws off his jester hat and flies away] GOODBYE, YOUR LUMPINESS!

Other Characters[edit]

  • Toad: [to a termite] Listen up, you lazy termite! I told you a thousand times that there are no breaks around here! [kicks the termite] Everyone get to work!!! EVERYONE GET TO WORK!!!! [a termite carves a statue of him standing on a toad and then is chased away by a toad]
  • Spidora: For a spider, whoever falls into her web... is her dinner!
  • Hawthorn: Insects despise hawthorns! They prefer flowers! That's why we don't want you here! We hate your music! Destroy the guitar!

Dialogue[edit]

Buffuno: Your Majesty? Your Majesty?
Wartlord: Hmm?
Buffuno: Mission accomplished! I've got 1,300,400 houses, 2,000 rabbit holes, 52 bird nests, 1 pumpkin, 37 cocoons, and even a cricket!
Wartlord: A cricket?!
Buffuno: Yeah! Christopher the Happy Cricket!
Wartlord: Happy?! I'm the only one allowed to be happy around here! [looks up to the night sky] Oh, yes. Excellent. Buffuno, come here, will you?
Buffuno: Yes, sir.
Wartlord: Look up there. See all those diamonds shining down on me?
Buffuno: Yes, sir.
Wartlord: Perfect. All that will be ours.
Buffuno: Ours, you say? Gee, you always promised me a lot of things, but I never get anything!
Wartlord: Yes, yes, yes. Do you see the brightest and shiniest one of them all? [points to Linda the Night Star] Well, that's the one I want! It's mine, got it?
Buffuno: Yes, Your Majesty! What are you gonna do with it?
Wartlord: Get more power, power over everything! And you're going to get that diamond for me. You're going to be the world's first bugonaut!
Buffuno: Bugonaut? Why, yes! I like it! But Your Lowness, I mean, Your Highness, don't you think it's better if we send a monkey first?
Wartlord: [laughs] That's a good one! Get ready, and don't fail! You want to be in good shape for your big mission!
Buffuno: Yes, sir! I'll join the health club first thing in the morning. But Your Majesty, when do you want me to go?
Wartlord: NOW!!!!
Buffuno: Now?! [faints]

[Buffuno is launched into space to grab Linda the Night Star]
Buffuno: This worst than a rollercoaster!
Wartlord: Ha-ha! Fly! Fly! That diamond is mine!
Buffuno: I can't tell which way is up anymore! [being hit by tiny meteors] Oh, it's staring to rain!
Wartlord: No, no! Go to the right! More to the right! [Buffuno flies towards the moon] No-no-no-no! To your left! Your other left! [Buffuno bashes his head on the moon] What are you doing?! How could you miss?! That's why you don't make any progress: you don't take things seriously! Work on that aim, you worthless FOOL!!!
Buffuno: Yes, sir! [feels the lump on his head] Too bad, it didn't work! Wow! Your Loudness! YOUR NOISINESS!! The Earth is not blue anymore! It must be this pollution thing!
Wartlord: I'm not interested in that!
Buffuno: Now what?! What am I gonna do now?!
Wartlord: Now?! You're going to stay up there all night and think about what you did! Maybe that will teach you a lesson!
[Buffuno tries his best to hold on to the moon, but the part of the moon where Buffuno is holding breaks, causing Buffuno to fall back to Earth]

[Cartibella and Snealy walk on a sleeping old snail, but then they fall off as the snail wakes up]
Cartibella: What's this? A talking rock? Oh, looks like the end of the world, Snealy!
Old Snail: The end of the world?! Who?! Where?! What time is it?! And who might you be, little ones?!
Cartibella: My name is Cartibella.
Old Snail: [referring to Snealy] And who's that cabbage?
Cartibella: "That cabbage"? Oh, this is Snealy. Excuse me, sir, but the Night Star fell from the night sky, and we were wondering if--
Old Snail: A falling Night Star?! Oh, no! Not again! Not long ago, humankind landed on the moon, and I haven't received my retirement money!
Cartibella: So you must know something?!
Old Snail: About the end of the world? No, no! I don't know nothing about that, my dear! I just wanna sleep! Sleep undisturbed and wait for Noah's Ark! [goes back into his shell]
Cartibella: Wake up, Mr. Snail!
Old Snail: What?! What's going on?! I told you I don't know nothing! No, no, no! I don't know anything!
Cartibella: So do you know or don't you?
Old Snail: What?
Cartibella: Where he lives?
Old Snail: Who?
Cartibella: The Magic Toucan!
Old Snail: [laughs] So you're looking for a magic toucan, huh?
Cartibella: Yes, yes!
Old Snail: No, I don't know anything about no magic toucan! First you talk about a falling star and now a magic toucan! [goes back into his shell]

Buffuno: Your Fatness! From the royal kitchen, I give you a meal worthy of a king!
Wartlord: Where's the table?! Or do you expect me to eat on the floor?
[three toads hop up with a table]
Toads: Here it is, Your Majesty! Here it is! Here's the table! This way! Put it right here! No, no! Put it here, you idiot!
Wartlord: I could eat a horse. I hope you prepared something... different. Something special. Worthy of my greatness [Buffuno reveals a bowl of beetle soup] WHAT?! Soup again?! Oh, no! I will not tolerate this! [climbs on top of the table] A king like myself, who is so close to having that diamond, has to put up with this?! [throws the soup at Buffuno]
Buffuno: And if we don't get out hands on that diamond, how are you gonna build your statue?
Wartlord: Well, let me see, I think I'll apply for a loan from the World Bank!
Buffuno: [laughs] Great idea! Brilliant, Your Obviousness! You deserve that and much more! An impressive gold statue, so nobody will forget your endless mercy, your infinite kindness, and great bumbleness... I mean, bumblebees. I mean... I don't know what's wrong with me! I just can't seem to say it! Your humbleness! Don't you think he deserves it you three!
Toads: He deserves it! He deserves it! He deserves it! He deserves it!
Wartlord: SHUT UP, YOU STUPID AMPHIBIANS!!! Oh, and by the way, did you chop all the trees I ordered? I don't want anything to cast a shadow over the greatness of my statue.
Buffuno: Certainly, Your Blubberpuss! Your orders were all carried out to the letter!
[the soup bowl bounces off Buffuno and shatters on a toad's head]
Wartlord: As for my food, get it from the village. Pronto!
Buffuno: [stammers]
Wartlord: Shh! Out! Get out of here!
Toads: Let's go! [they drop the table Wartlord is standing on, causing him to fall off] Retreat! Follow me! Come on!
Wartlord: You bunch of nincompoops!
Buffuno: [helping Wartlord up] Yes, that's right, they're a bunch of idiots! [laughs] So true!
Toads: Idiots? Yes, they're idiots! They're idiots! Oh, yeah, they are!

[Wartlord finds that Night Star is gone from the sky]
Wartlord: Look up there! You insect! Look at that! Someone has stolen my precious diamond! It was stolen!
Buffuno: It was stolen?! Oh, my! How could they do that?! I know nothing about it, Your Hugeness! I swear it wasn't me!
Wartlord: You don't have the brains to do something like that! Now, search the kingdom until you find it!
Buffuno: THE KING'S DIAMOND WAS STOLEN!!! [begins running all over the castle] THE KING'S DANDELION, THE KING'S SALMON, THE KING'S DIAMOND WAS STOLEN!!! [ends up with Wartlord, back where he started] You haven't seen the King's diamond, have you?
Wartlord: No, I haven't seen it. [growls with rage] STOP FOOLING AROUND! [knocks Buffuno off the ledge and into the swamp] FIND ME THAT DIAMOND OR I'LL THROW INTO THE DUNGEON!!!
Buffuno: NOW, HE'S REALLY MAD THIS TIME!!! [falls into the murky water]

Wartlord: Say, Buffuno, what's this Christopher Cricket like?
Buffuno: Well, he's a happy cricket, Your Stupidness.
Wartlord: Well, I'm starting to think that this diamond is a fake, and that it'll never shine!
Buffuno: Hey, Your Frumpiness, why don't you try doing some positive thinking?
Wartlord: Positive?!
Buffuno: Sure! It might work!
Wartlord: That's very difficult, Buffuno.
Buffuno: Why don't you try it? Now focus, gather around, and close your eyes.
Toads: Focus! Focus! Gather around!
[he and the three toads surround Wartlord and the toads are ready to do three rounds]
Buffuno: Concentrate! Concentrate! Concentrate!
[one of the toads fart; before the toads are unwilling to do the last round]
Toad: No, no! That won't work! Negative thinking's much more fun!
[Buffuno and the toads crack up laughing]
Wartlord: SHUT UP! I've had quite enough of your nonsense! If this diamond won't shine for me, it won't shine for everyone else!
Buffuno: Patience, Your Dumpiness, it'll shine!
Wartlord: Tomorrow morning, I want you to go to the village and destroy everything!
Buffuno: But, but, but...
Wartlord: THAT'S... AN ORDER!!!!!!
[silence, as "AN ORDER!!!" can be heard by everyone in the village]

Cast[edit]

External links[edit]

Wikipedia
Wikipedia
Wikipedia has an article about: