The History Boys
- Directed by Nicholas Hytner, who directed the original production at the Royal National Theatre in London. Adapted by Alan Bennett from his play of the same name, which won the 2005 Olivier Award for Best New Play and the 2006 Tony Award for Best Play.
- The best moments in reading are when you come across something — a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things — that you'd thought special, particular to you. And here it is, set down by someone else, a person you've never met, maybe even someone long dead. And it's as if a hand has come out and taken yours.
- Remember boys: festoon your answers with gobbets, and you won't go far wrong.
- I would hate to turn out boys who, in later life, would claim to have a love of literature, or speak of the lure of language, and their love of words. Words, said in a way that's somehow... Welsh.
- Pass the parcel. That's sometimes all you can do. Take it, feel it, and pass it on. Not for me, not for you, but for someone, somewhere, one day. Pass it on, boys. That's the game I want you to learn. Pass it on.
- But this is History. Distance yourselves. Our perspective on the past alters. Looking back, immediately in front of us is dead ground. We don't see it, and because we don't see it this means that there is no period so remote as the recent past. And one of the historian's jobs is to anticipate what our perspective of that period will be... even on the Holocaust.
- The truth was, in 1914, Germany doesn't want war. Yeah, there's an arms race, but it's Britain who's leading it. So, why does no one admit this?
That's why. The dead. The body count. We don't like to admit the war was even partly our fault 'cause so many of our people died. And all the mourning's veiled the truth. It's not "lest we forget," it's "lest we remember." That's what all this is about — the memorials, the Cenotaph, the two minutes' silence. Because there is no better way of forgetting something than by commemorating it.
- [on the Holocaust] But to put something in context is a step towards saying it can be understood and that it can be explained. And if it can be explained then it can be explained away.
- [on his life] I'm a Jew, I'm small; I'm homosexual, and I live in Sheffield. [pause] I'm f***ed.
- He thinks he is in love with Dakin, however, no-one believes this and thinks it is just a phase
- How do I define history? It's just one fuckin' thing after another.
Mrs. Lintott 
- History is a commentary on the various and continuing incapabilities of men. What is history? History is women following behind... with a bucket.
- Durham was very good for history. It's where I had my first pizza. Other things too, of course, but it's the pizza that stands out.
- The more you read, though, the more you'll see that literature is actually about losers... It's consolation. All literature is consolation.
"Felix" The Headmaster 
- They're good... but they're crass. They need polish... edge.
- I want to be up there with Manchester Grammar, Haberdasher Asks, Leighton Park... or is that an open prison? No matter.
- One oddity: Rudge. And Christchurch of all places! Might get into Loughborough... on a bad year... otherwise all brights!
- I said it from the start: you can't polish a turd! (About Rudge)
- On enquiry I find his pupils know all the words of "When I'm Cleaning Windows". And Gracie Fields, Dorothy, Gracie Fields.
- I was a geographer. I went to Hull.
- Scripps: Oh, Pos, with your spaniel heart. It will pass.
- Posner: Yes, it's a phase. Who says I want it to pass? But the pain, the pain.
- Scripps: Hector would say it's the only education worth having.
- Posner: Yes. I just wish there were marks for it!
- Scripps: Love can be very irritating.
- Posner: How do you know?
- Scripps: It's what I always think about God. He must get so pissed off, everyone worshipping him all the time.
- Posner: Yes, only you don't catch God poncing around in his underpants.
- Dakin: Are we scarred for life, do you think?
- Scripps: We must hope so.
- Headmaster: There's a vacancy in history.
- Irwin: That's very true.
- Headmaster: In the school.
- Irwin: Ah.
- Headmaster: How are young men coming along? All on track?
- Irwin: Yes, I think so.
- Headmaster: You think so? Are they or aren't they?
- Irwin: It'll always be something of a lottery.
- Headmaster: A lottery? I don't like the sound of that. Irwin, I don't want you to fuck up. We've been down that route too many times before.
- Wilkes: You're letting yourself down. You're letting God down.
- Lockwood: What's God got to do with it?
- Wilkes: Listen, boy. This isn't your body.
- Lockwood: No?
- Wilkes: This body is on loan to you from God.
- Lockwood: Fuck me!
- Wilkes: I heard that. Give me twenty.
- Lockwood: Twenty what, Hail Marys?
- Wilkes: Do it.
- Dakin: I just wanted to say thank you.
- Scripps: So? Give him a subscription to The Spectator, or a box of Black Magic! Just because you got a scholarship, doesn't mean you have to give him unfettered access to your dick!
- Scripps: You can't explain away the poetry, sir.
- Lockwood: No, sir. Art wins in the end.
- Meet The Boys Who Are Making History!
- History. It's just one bloody thing after another.
- Samuel Anderson - Crowther
- James Corden - Timms
- Stephen Campbell Moore - Irwin
- Richard Griffiths - Hector
- Frances de la Tour - Mrs. Lintott
- Andrew Knott - Lockwood
- Russell Tovey - Rudge
- Jamie Parker - Scripps
- Dominic Cooper - Dakin
- Samuel Barnett - Posner
- Sacha Dhawan - Akhtar
- Clive Merrison - The Headmaster