The Longest Yard (2005 film)

From Wikiquote
Jump to: navigation, search

The Longest Yard is a 2005 American sports comedy film and remake of the 1974 film of the same name. The movie features inmates at a prison who play football against their guards. Adam Sandler plays the protagonist, Paul Crewe, an ex pro-football quaterback for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Burt Reynolds, the original Paul Crewe, plays a major role as Nate Scarborough, the head coach and a former Heisman Trophy winner for Oklahoma in 1955, and Chris Rock as Crewe's cell neighbor and friend known as Caretaker.

Paul Crewe[edit]

  • [after being pulled over by cops] Hey, you can finish that one. I got five more. Take care, guys.
  • [on TV after he crashes his girlfriend's car] Hey, Lena! I think we should start seeing other people!
  • [After crashing into several cop cars] Good news, boys. I didn't spill my beer.


  • Me? No, I was so bad I was picked after the white kids. Guys would look at me and say, "Damn, we picked a nigga that can't play."
  • Can you give a brother a little hustle?
  • (To Brucie after he got tackled by Torres) Well, tell Ronnie you got knocked the fuck out.

Cheeseburger Eddy[edit]

  • I knew you couldn't resist my shit. I got the shakes that will make you quake, I got the fries that will cross your eyes, I got the burgers that will... I just got burgers.
  • [After Crew nails the crooked referee in the testicles with the football] You gotta always protect the McNuggets!
  • (To Megget) You acting like a real McAsshole.

Nate Scarborough[edit]

  • Well, we may not have the most talented team, but we'll definitely have the meanest.

Captain Knauer[edit]

  • You got a lot of balls, Crewe. You played a hell of a game. And don't worry, I know you had nothing to do with Caretaker's murder- and I'll back that up.


Paul: Huddle up! Look, I'm sure you already know this, but I've never said it out loud. I *did* throw that game. I did it. I was in a bad way with some worse people. After I did it, I felt so shitty, I wish I would have just let them kill me instead. Now the warden wants to pin Caretaker's murder on me if I don't throw *this* game. So it looks like I'm going to get to know you guys a lot better because I ain't doing that twice in a lifetime. We got a little time left. We can still do this. I'm begging you. Put your hands in here. Okay, thank you. Who are we?
[Team shouts, "Mean Machine!", and takes the field]
Turley: I'm glad you are back. Now I don't have to stab you.

Caretaker: Now who we gonna crush?
Caretaker: Who we gonna kill?
Caretaker: Who we gonna KISS?
Caretaker: Gotcha!

Caretaker: Well, we didn't get the whole chocolate bar, but we got a Hershey's kiss.
Nate Scarborough: I'll take it.



Prison Staff[edit]


External links[edit]

Wikipedia has an article about: