The Lost Room
From Wikiquote
The Lost Room is a science fiction television miniseries that aired on the Sci Fi Channel in 2006.
[edit] The Key and the Clock
- Henchman: What does the gun do?
- Joe Miller: It shoots bullets really fast.
- Wally Jabrouski: Oh. Sorry. I mean... Sorry. You forget to be human sometimes.
- Wally Jabrouski: For your crimes against common courtesy and decency, I condemn you to Hell!
- [Joe is forcing Montague to strip down in search of Objects]
- Joe Miller: Underpants too, Montague.
- Howard Montague: This is ridiculous! My underwear is not an Object.
- Joe Miller: Then I'm sure you won't miss them.
- Anna Miller: Stuff keeps disappearing in the room.
- Joe Miller: What room?
- Anna Miller: The magic room.
- Wally Jabrouski: It's an Object.
- Joe Miller: ... Yeah?
- Wally Jabrouski: One of many...?
- [At Montague's hideout, Joe picks up a philosophical book]
- Joe Miller: You really believe in this stuff?
- Howard Montague: I used to teach it, before I was unjustly terminated.
- Joe Miller: According to the transfer, someone tried to buy this key for two million dollars.
- Lou Destefano: I'd pay three.
- Howard Montague: This is your plan, huh? You're remodeling?
- Howard Montague: There's still a door here?
- Joe Miller: Sometimes they build over them.
- Howard Montague: Sometimes?
- Anna Miller: Timmy brought in a huge earthworm.
- Joe Miller: Yeah?
- Anna Miller: I touched it. Disgusting.
- Joe Miller: Ew, yeah. Come here. Lemme see your hand. Aw, I can still feel the slime!
- Joe Miller: So, what do you want to watch tonight?
- Anna Miller: Nemo.
- Joe Miller: Again? How about Abbot and Costello? Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein?
- Anna Miller: Nemo.
- Joe Miller: Come on, it's got Frankenstein in it!
- Iggy Loca: I feel like I'm gonna puke.
- Joe Miller: I'll bet you do.
- [Jennifer is smashing radio sets.]
- Joe Miller: Make sure you get all of them.
- Jennifer Bloom: You can't destroy an Object. Haven't you learned anything yet?
- Jennifer Bloom: It's supposed to make you three inches taller if you tune it to the right station.
- Joe Miller: Fascinating.
[edit] The Comb and the Watch Box
- Harold Stritzke: What'll happen if I open this door?
- Joe Miller: Without The Key, you'll die instantly.
- Harold Stritzke: ... Really?
- Joe Miller: Yeah. Really.
- [Harold is trying all the various combs in search of The Comb]
- Joe Miller: ... You know what, don't bother. Objects don't work in the room.
- Harold Stritzke: Says you.
- Joe Miller: Oh yeah? Did you try that one there?
- Joe Miller: How will I know if it works?
- Harold Stritzke: Well, it'll be pretty ob-
- [Joe has just used The Comb, stopping time momentarily, until it ends and he stumbles from dizziness]
- Harold Stritzke: -vious. Oh, hey, look, you did it!
- [Jennifer is admiring Barbara Stritzke's various hunting paraphernalia]
- Jennifer Bloom: Looks like Barbara was a pretty good shot.
- [Joe wanders into Harold's room, covered with Peeping Tom photos]
- Joe Miller: Looks like her nephew's a Peeping Tom.
- Wally Jabrouski: I don't believe in ghosts. Uh-uh.
- Joe Miller: What, no ghosts?
- Wally Jabrouski: Nope.
- Joe Miller: Oh sure, a magic bus ticket, no problems, but ghosts? No way.
- Susan Kang: This guy posts on a motorhead forum with an inquiry as to why this pair of glasses would prevent his car from starting.
- Martin Rueber: Um...?
- Susan Kang: The glasses inhibit combustion.
- Susan Kang: Can I see it? (The Key)
- Joe Miller: Can I point my gun at you?
- Susan Kang: It dampens entropy within a limited radius.
- Joe Miller: I must have been absent that day.
- Susan Kang: It prevents things from decaying.
[edit] The Eye and the Occupant
- Joe Miller: Wally, you can't send teenage girls to Hell.
- Wally Jabrouski: Why? If you ask me, teenage girls are the ones that deserve it the most.
- Susan Kang: They rotate things. (The Scissors)
- Joe Miller: What, are you supposed to spin plates with them?
- Susan Kang: Dude, if you want to theorize, I'm going to charge you another grand.
- [A brand new door has been built in the middle of Karl's living room.]
- Joe Miller: Aw, Karl, you shouldn't have.
- Karl Kreutzfeld: They (The Cufflinks) lower blood pressure. It might be a placebo, but something's working.
- Joe Miller: Ohh... Rotate things...
- Joe Miller: You might want to take a step back...
- Karl Kreutzfeld: Why?
- Joe Miller: I don't want to breathe metallic gas, do you?
- Wally Jabrouski: What? A guy can't sing to his bus ticket?
- Wally Jabrouski: An extra person? What's an extra person?
- Howard Montague: There's a guy Object? I mean... there's an Object that's a guy?
- Sood's Assistant: Appointment only!
- Joe Miller: Look, just tell the Sood I want to apologize for-
- Sood's Assistant: [With gun at ready] Appointment only!
- Joe Miller: Well, can I make an appointment?
- Sood's Assistant: [From window] No!
- Joe Miller: Is that really a gun in your pocket?
- Howard Montague: Yes.
- [Joe grabs Montague's hand.]
- Howard Montague: Ow...
- Howard Montague: Great. I'll drive.
- Joe Miller: Give me your keys.
- Howard Montague: What? But... This is all I have...
