The Man Who Would Be King
- Keep looking at me. It helps to keep my soul from flying off.
- Now, the problem is, how to divide five Afghans from three mules and have two Englishmen left over.
- Danny's only a man. But he can break wind at both ends simultaneous - which is more, I reckon, than any god can do.
- They've twigged it Danny, you've had it!
- We've got to brass it out, Danny. Danny brass it out!
Bags of swank!
- In any place where they fight, a man who knows how to drill men can always be a King. We shall go to those parts and say to any King we find - "D'you want to vanquish your foes?' and we will show him how to drill men; for that we know better than anything else. Then we will subvert that King and seize his Throne and establish a Dynasty.
- That's the last of them Peachy, no more gourds to burn.
- The more tribes, the more they'll fight, and the better for us.
- [Wistfully observing dancing women] Boil'em once or twice in hot water and they'll come out like chicken and ham! You wouldn't know them from the Gaietey Chorus!
- [Lecturing his Er-Heb recruits while Billy Fish translates:] Now listen to me, you benighted muckers! We're going to teach you soldiering, The world's noblest profession! When we're done with you, you'll be able to stand up and slaughter your foes like civilized men! But first, you will have to learn to march in step. And do the manual of arms without even having to think! Good soldiers don't think, they just obey! Do you suppose that if a man thought twice, he'd give his life for Queen and Country? Not bloody likely! He wouldn't go near the battlefield! One look at your foolish faces tells me that you're going to be crack troops. Ohhh him there with the five-and-a-half hat size has the makings of a bloody hero!
- District Commissioner :It would have been wiser if you had both gone home at the end of your army service..
- Peachy: Home to what? A porters uniform outside a restaurant and tanner tips from belching civilians for closing cab doors on them and their imminently blowzy women?
- Daniel: Not for us, thank you! Not after watching Afghans come howling down out of the hills and taking battle field command when the officers copped it!
- Peachy: Well said brother Dravot!
- District Commissioner: There may be no criminal charges against you, but I'll see these files reach Calcutta with the recommendation that you be deported as political undesirables! Detriments to the Dignity of the Empire and the Izzat of the Raj!
- Peachy: Detriments you call us? Detriments? Well I want to remind you it was detriments like us that built this bloody Empire and the Izzat of the bloody Raj! Hats on! About turn! By the left, quick march!
- Peachy: But how many men have been were we've been... ... and seen what we've seen?
- Daniel: Bloody few and that's a fact!
- Peachy: Why, even now, I wouldn't change places with the viceroy himself...if it meant giving up my memories...
- Billy Fish: He wants to know if you are gods.
- Peachy: Not gods - Englishmen. The next best thing.
- Daniel: [admiring Roxanne, while a worried Peachy looks on] Just looking, Peachy. There's such a thing as admiring beauty for its own sake.
- Peachy: Being only human, one thing leads to another.
- Peachy: Billy Fish, mount the mule and ride! There's a chance you'll make it!
- Billy Fish: Gurkha foot soldier, not cavalry! Rifleman Majendra Bahadur Gurung wishing you many good lucks! [Draws kukri and charges the mob alone] AYO-O-O GURKHALI-I-I!
- Daniel: Peachy, I'm heartily ashamed for gettin' you killed instead of going home rich like you deserved to, on account of me bein' so bleedin' high and bloody mighty. Can you forgive me?
- Peachy: That I can and that I do, Danny, free and full and without let or hindrance.
- Daniel: Everything's all right then.
- Michael Caine — Peachy Carnehan
- Sean Connery — Daniel Dravot
- Sayeed Jaffrey — Billy Fish
- Jack May - District Commisioner
- Christopher Plummer — Rudyard Kipling