The Mummy Returns

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The Mummy Returns is a 2001 film about the sequel to The Mummy in which the mummified body of Imhotep is shipped to a museum in London, where he once again wakes and begins his campaign of rage and terror.

Directed by Stephen Sommers. Written by Stephen Sommers

Contents

[edit] Richard 'Rick' O'Connell

  • Knowing my brother-in-law, he probably deserves whatever you're about to do to him. But this is my house, and I have certain rules about snakes and dismemberment.
  • [witnessing Imhotep's resurrection] Y'know, a couple of years ago, this would have seemed really strange to me.
  • [about the mummified soldiers] Oh no, not these guys again!
  • [Evelyn is trying to block the door to keep the mummy soldiers out] Honey, what are you doing? These guys don't use doors.
  • [After the mummified soldiers destroyed his car] Oh, I HATE mummies!
  • [after seeing a hieroglyph of a warrior bearing his tattoo and the staff] Okay, NOW I'm a believer!
  • [to the Scorpion King] GO TO HELL!!! AND TAKE YOUR FRIENDS WITH YOU!!!

[edit] Evelyn Carnahan-O'Connell

  • Those knickers are not mine
  • RICK!!!!

[edit] Jonathan Carnahan

  • I say chaps, look at that. Shrunken heads. I'd love to know how they do that. [Everybody looks strangely at Jonathan] Just curious.
  • If you see anyone come running out screaming, don't worry - it's just me.
  • Step aside Alex, I'm a professional!
  • Ah, the old "wipe out the world" ploy.

[edit] Imhotep

  • [on seeing Rick] YOU!
  • [to Alex] I hope your parents had a good ride.

[edit] Izzy

  • [to Rick] Every time I hook up with you, I get shot! Last time I got shot in the ass. I'm mourning for my ass!
  • This thing is filled with gas, dammit. Not hot air, gas. Where am I supposed to find gas around here? Bananas? Mangos? Tarzan's arse?!
  • Whoa whoa whoa! She's faster than she looks. And she's quiet, real quiet. Perfect for sneaking up on people, which is a very good thing. [lowers voice] Unless we go with your approach: barging in face-first, guns blazing and getting your friends shot in the ass!
  • Well, that's not good.

[edit] Ardeth Bay

  • There's a fine line between coincidence and fate.
  • If a man does not embrace his past, he has no future.
  • It was ... my first bus ride
  • Why can't you people ever keep your feet on the ground?

[edit] Alex O'Connell

  • Get a room!
  • My dad is going to kick your ass!
  • [after accidentally destroying the temple's interior, therefore rescuing his parents from almost drowning] Mum, Dad, I can explain everything.
  • You're asking me?! I'm only eight years old, for Christ's sake!
  • I haven't lost it, Mum; I just can't find it. There's a difference.

[edit] Others

  • Anck-su-namun: Put your mask on. Let's not scar that pretty face!
  • Lock-Nah: NOW, can I kill him?


[edit] Dialogue

Rick: This is bad, Evy!
Evy: We've had bad before.
Rick: This is worse!
Jonathan: I told you! I told you!
Meela: And your point is?
Jonathan: My point is, I told you so your wouldn't kill me.
Meela: When did we make that arrangement?
Rick: Ok, you're here, the bad guys are here, Evy's been kidnapped. Let me guess...
Ardeth Bay: Yes, they once again removed the creature from his grave.
Jonathan: I don't mean to point fingers, but isn't your job to make sure that doesn't happen?!
Ardeth Bay: Wherever this man is, your wife will surely be.
Alex: Hey, I know him. He's the curator. He works at the British Museum.
Ardeth Bay: Are you sure?
Rick: You better believe him. He spends more time there than he does at home.
Ardeth Bay: [to Alex] By putting on the bracelet, you have started a chain reaction that could bring about the next apocalypse!
Rick: Hey! [to Ardeth] You: lighten up. [to Alex] You: big trouble. [to Jonathan] You: get in the car.
Alex: Come on! come on! [Jonathan breaks the key off in the ignition] YOU BROKE IT! YOU BROKE IT!
Jonathan: Be quiet Alex! If there's going to be any hysterics, they'll come from me!
[Rick, Evy and the others are being pursued by the mummified soldiers]
Ardeth Bay: Glad to see me now?
Rick: (enthusiatic) Just like old times, huh?
Alex: Hey. The Book of the Dead.
Meela: What a bright little child. Your mother must be missing you terribly. If you wish to see her again, you better behave.
Alex: Lady, I don't behave for my parents, what makes you think I'm going to do it for you?
Meela: Because your parents don't put poisonous snakes in your bed... while you're sleeping.
Evelyn: No harm ever came from opening a chest.
Rick: Yeah, "No harm ever came from reading a book." Remember how that one went?
[seeing Rick's tattoo]
Ardeth Bay: If I were to say to you that, "I am a stranger traveling from the East, seeking that which is lost"...
Rick: ... Then I would reply that, "I am a stranger traveling from the West, it is I whom you seek." How did you...?
Ardeth Bay: Then it is true. You have the sacred mark.
Rick: What, that? No, that got slapped on me when I was in an orphanage in Cairo.
Ardeth Bay: That mark means you are a protector of man. A warrior for God. A Medjai.
Rick: Sorry. You've got the wrong guy.

[Jonathan pulls up in a double decker bus]

Rick: [confused] What's the matter with my car?
Jonathan: I was forced to find an alternative means of transportation--
Rick: A DOUBLE-DECKER BUS?!?!
Jonathan: Well, [points at Alex] it was his idea!
Alex: Was not!
Jonathan: Was too!
Alex: Was not!
Rick: JUST GO!
Jonathan: Was too!
Alex: Was NOT!
Jonathan: Oh, jeez...
[Bus pulls away with mummies chasing behind; they climb over Rick's car and destroy it in the process]
Rick: No, no, not my car! [menacingly] Oh, I hate mummies!
[Izzy sees Rick, looks scared, and locks the door]
Rick: Hey!
Evie: He definitely remembers you.
Rick: He's a little shy. [to Jonathan] Jonathan, get our bags.
Jonathan: [holding Scepter of Osiris] Oh, my hands are full.
Rick: [takes Scepter] Now.
Jonathan: Right, right, I'll get the bags.
Rick: I'll deal with the flight details. [shoots the lock on the door]
Evie: Honey, you're not a subtle man.
Rick: [looks at her] We don't have time for subtle. [kicks the door in]
Izzy: Remeber that bankjob in Marakesh?
Evy: Bank job?
Rick: It's not how it sounds.
Izzy: Erh it's exactly how it sounds. I'm flying high hiding in the sun, white boy here flags me down, so I fly in low for the pickup, next thing you know, I get shot! I'm laying there in the middle of the road, with my spleen hanging out, and I see HIM waltzing off with some bellydancer girl!
Evy: Bellydancer girl? Izzy, I think you and I should talk.
Izzy: As long as I don't get shot.
Izzy: O'Connell, if you give me that gold stick there, you can shave my head, wax my legs, and use me for a surfboard.
Rick: Didn't we do that in Tripoli?
Alex: Are we there yet?
Lock-Nah: No.
Alex: Are we there yet?
Lock-Nah: No.
Alex: Are we there yet?
Lock-Nah: No. No, no no no no NO!
(Lock-Nah slams his knife into the table between Alex's fingers)
Alex: Whoa! That was amazing! Perfect aim!
Lock-Nah: What are you talking about?! I missed!
Lock-Nah: When the time comes, I shall truly enjoy killing you.
Alex: But until that time, you better be a little nicer to me. Now where's my water?
[Lock-Nah shoves the pitcher of water into Alex's hands]
Alex: No ice?
Rick: Right, she's a reincarnated princess and I'm a warrior for God?
Ardeth Bay: And your son leads the way to Ahm Shere. Three sides of the pyramid. This was all preordained thousands of years ago.
Evelyn: But how does the story end?
Ardeth Bay: Only the journey is written, not the destination.
Rick: Convenient.
Evy: Jonathan?
Jonathan: Yes?
Evy: That's my husband and son down there. Make me proud.
Jonathan: Today's that day, Evy.
Rick: You know, it's not easy, being a dad.
Alex: Yeah. But you do it real good.
[Jonathan and an enemy soldier run into a clearing with stones while fleeing undead pygmies]
Jonathan: See that?! We're safe, we're safe! See those sacred stones, they'll never cross those!
Enemy Soldier: You are sure?
Jonathan: Yes of course I'm sure!
[A pygmy notices them and attacks, spearing the solder in the chest]
Jonathan: [screams then looks at the solder, shocked] Sorry! My mistake!
Alex: Efday shokran...efday shokran...Uncle Jon! I don't know what this last symbol is!
Jonathan: What does it look like?
Alex: It's a bird - a stork!
Jonathan: I know that one! I know that one!
Alex: Then what is it?
Jonathan: [fighting with Meela]Ah...ah...!
Jonathan: [after throwing off Meela] Amenophus!
Jonathan: Pull me up! Pull me up!
[He sees the huge diamond on top of the pyramid]
Jonathan: Wait, wait. Let me down. Let me down!
Rick: It's not worth your life, you idiot!
Jonathan: Yes, it is! Yes, it is!
Izzy: Uh, that's half mine, you know.
Jonathan: What?
Izzy: [indicating the diamond] That's half mine!
Jonathan: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Izzy: What? You took my gold stick! I know you took my gold stick!
Jonathan: No, I have no id - I swear on the head of my wife I have no idea what you're talking about.
Izzy: You haven't! You- you ain't got a wife!
Jonathan: I haven't got your gold stick either!

[edit] Taglines

  • Adventure is reborn.
  • He will rise again.
  • The most powerful force on Earth is about to be unleashed... by the two people who should know better.

[edit] Cast

[edit] External links

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