The Penguins of Madagascar
- 1 Season 1
- 2 Season 2
- 2.1 Episode 28: Hot Ice
- 2.2 Episode 35: The Officer X Factor
- 2.3 Episode 36: Brain Drain
- 2.4 Episode 46: All Tied Up with a Boa
- 2.5 Episode 49: The Red Squirrel
- 2.6 Episode 50: It's About Time
- 2.7 Episode 58: When the Chips are Down
- 2.8 Episode 61: Arch-Enemy
- 2.9 Episode 92: Cute-Astrophe
- 2.10 Other
Episode 1: Gone in a Flash
- [Maurice is making a sundae]
- Maurice: [singing] Making my ice cream, Oh, sprinkle it on, (Julien grabs the sundae while Maurice is not looking) Now we add a cherry on top! [Julien grabs the cherry] Owwwwwwww!
- Julien: Uh, less sprinkles next time, okay Maurice?
- Maurice: I just can't take this!
- Julien: Rule number one: Do not question the king. Rule number two-- (Camera falls into Maurice's arms; They begin to fight)
- Julien: I said gimme! What part of Give or Me do you not understand?
- Maurice: I understood the me part, like, this was caught by ME!
Episode 2: Launchtime
- Skipper: Commence Operation Hammerhead.
- Julien: Excuse me, Hammer whose head exactly? (Rico coughs up a hammer; Julien, Maurice and Mort run away screaming)
Episode 12: The Hidden
- Skipper: Pop quiz, troops. What can't we trust?
- Kowalski: (flipping through his notebook) Three-day-old stir-fry mung beans.
- Skipper: Right. What else can't we trust?
- Private: (holding up a book on badgers) Badgers!
- Skipper: (gives Private a questionable look)
- Private: ...Maybe that's just me.
Episode 15: All Choked Up
- Mort: Ooooh, it smells like the circus!
Episode 18: Miracle On Ice
- Skipper: (After the rat king jumps on Kowalski while playing hockey; concerned): Kowalski, speak to me, man!
- Kowalski: (lying on ground): Just a... knock on the old... (twitches) ...monkey bus...!
- Skipper: (confused): Kowalski...?
- Kowalski: (stumbling on ice): No need to paint! I'm as flopsy-faced as ever!
- Skipper: (after Kowalski gets up and picks up hockey stick): I...don't think you're fit for duty...
- Kowalski: (continuing to stumble): Flibertigibit, man! I'm as juxtaposed as the next hamburger! (slips and falls on his belly)
- Private (after he and Skipper also get hurt): Skipper, maybe it's time to admit we've lost.
- Kowalski (stumbling in the background): The moo-cow may have a chocolate marshmallow!
- (Julian wins the hockey game, defeating the sewer rats, Rico, Private and Skipper looked shocked; Kowalski stumbles past them)
- Kowalski: Well, I'll be a bicycle-cream-cone!
Episode 23: Misfortune Cookie
- Julien: And finally, it's the trampling by a thousand rhinos!
- Rico (a rhino tramples him): (yelps)
- Julien: Uh, slight glitch, though, we only have one rhino. So you have to do it a thousand times.
- Rico: (gets trampled by the rhino again)
- (Some time later)
- Julien: Flightless bird, you have completed the three trials! By the way, sorry about the extra rhino tramplings. I lost count.
- Rico: (scatting)
- Duck: Look out! (lands on Rico's face with his rear)
Episode 35: I was a Penguin Zombie
- Private: (hears Skipper wheeze and cough, followed by a bucket being kicked) Skipper's gone? It...it...it can't be! (jumps off) What'll we do?
- Kowalski: We will honor him the way he would've wanted. By soldiering on like men. (all three glare at the audience)
- (A Moment later, in their HQ, all three are bawling; Kowalski is hugging Private while Rico spits out a picture of Skipper)
- Rico: Why?! Why?! WHYYYYY?!
Episode 48: Dr. Blowhole's Revenge
- Julien (after Dr. Blowhole and he stopped laughing maniacally): Question: why are we laughing?
- Dr. Blowhole: Question: how did the prisoner escape?! (Julien leaps on him)
- Julien: Prisoner escaped?! Is he dangerous?
- Dr. Blowhole (annoyed): No, and apparently, he isn't very bright.
- Dr Blowhole: You'll appreciate this, Kowalski. I've installed a lair Theatre System, High definition with surround sound. Exre-e-emely spendy.
- Kowalski: (slightly angry) Oh, why do the bad guys always get the good stuff?
- Dr. Blowhole: I am so glad you could all join me to witness history. I am, of course, especially pleased that my fli-i-i-ghtless foes graced us with their presence.
- Skipper: (annoyed): Wouldn't miss it for the world.
- Private: There's nothing good on Tely tonight anyway.
- Dr. Blowhole: (hovering over Private): Well, Private, here's a little show I whipped up. It's called:
- Computer Voice: Ring of Fire.
- Dr. Blowhole: It is fitting that I returned to the very aqua theater where I performed tricks for the duller humans. Oh, how it made me bitter.
- Private: Sorry. Did he say "bitter" or "better"?
- Skipper: Hard to say; the sound really bounces around in here.
- Kowalski: No, that would be the high ceilings.
- Dr. Blowhole: My humiliation in the Ring of Fire became my inspiration. In the Frozen North, we've constructed a vast circle of certainly surprising devices that tap into the heat of the Earth's core. (four drill-like devices break through the ice, glowing)
- Skipper: Oh, come on. (Dr. Blowhole zooms over to Skipper)
- Dr. Blowhole: Do you mind?! I'm just getting to the good part! It's re-e-ealy quite a shocker.
- Skipper: It's so obvious. Humiliated by the humans-
- Private: -activate the Ring of Fire-
- Kowalski: -melt the Arctic-
- (Rico babbles)
- Skipper: Well, how did we do, punk?
- Dr. Blowhole (slightly surprised): You're... in the ball park.
Episode 28: Hot Ice
- (Skipper is discussing the value of the diamond necklace.)
- Skipper: Yes, the kind of riches that turns men into animals and animals into… Kowalski what’s more savage than animals?
- Kowalski: Hmmm… malfunctioning garbage disposals?
- Skipper: C’mon, you’re not even trying.
Episode 35: The Officer X Factor
- Kowalski: “Of course! It’s the salt. The sodium granules released from the pretzel cart into the convective cloud layer must have sparked a freezing nucleation reaction and BOOM! Instant rain.”
Episode 36: Brain Drain
- Skipper: So we’re stuck with the stupid Kowalski, well maybe it’s a good thing. I mean we were all getting tired of his big high, fleeting words like recalcitrant, right? I mean, what is that? Recalcitrant. Do I like recalcitrant to you?
- Rico: Uh huh.
- Kowalski: Oh YEAH! Up high!
Episode 46: All Tied Up with a Boa
- Skipper: Boys! Butter me up.
- Kowalski: Your leadership is impeccable and your musk is an intoxicating blend of danger and… ugh.”
- (Skipper slaps Kowalski)
- Kowalski: Right. (sees the tray of butter and realizes what Skipper was referring to.)
Episode 49: The Red Squirrel
- Julien: (after being submerged in toy dolls): I confess to everything! My father was not a talking water cycle! (is submerged again) I cheat at whistling! (makes raspberries)
- Buck Rockgut: These snitches don't know anything. They're just a bunch of "small potatoes."
- King Julien: It's true! I am also secretly a potato. OK, that one was a lie. I just wanted the ropes off, you know?
- Skipper: (after realizing Buck Rockgut was crazy) Well, maybe we left our paranoia caps on a little too long.
- Private: I do feel bad for the old guy. He's wasted decades chasing an enemy that probably doesn't even exist. (the penguins glide on their stomachs back to the zoo; a telescope appears out of a bush and reveals an underground lair)
- Red Squirrel: (pushing the record button on a tape recorder) Red Squirrel's log. Special Agent Rockgut has been dispos-sed of. (turns his chair around) Time to get to work. (laughs maniacally and leaps toward a metal door, but crashes into it) Stupid eye-patch.
Episode 50: It's About Time
- Kowalski: Private/Skipper, you've got to stop me!!
- Private: (in response to first future Kowalski) OK. Kowalski? Stop, please.
- Skipper: (in response to second future Kowalski) There, you're stopped.
- Kowalski: No, not me me...that me!
- Skipper and Private: There's two of you?
- Skipper: (kneeling down at the statue of liberty sunken in snow one shavings) Kowalski, you maniac! You did it. (pounding on the floor) You finally did it.
- Kowalski: Yeah, but you got to admit, these are pretty good snow cones. (picking up snow cone offering to skipper)
- Skipper: Yeah, totally worth it. (licking on snow cone)
Episode 58: When the Chips are Down
- Private: OK, Mort, we have enough food for several days. I'm sure Skipper will find us soon, right?
- Mort: (sniffing his finger) Mmm! My finger smells funny! (giggles) You wanna smell it?
- Private: No, I'd rather conserve energy and sleep; you should do the same (starts sleeping)
- Mort: Nighty-night. (stares his head left and right)
- (After a time transition, Mort was revealed to eat all the food in the machine and burps, waking Private up)
- Private: Oh, what was that?
- Mort: (lying on the machine, fattened up) Ooh! My tummy don't feel so good.
- Private: What happened? Where's the food?
- Mort: Well, I got hungry.
- Private: (a bit angry) So you ate everything?! Even the Cheezy Bits?!
- Mort: They're not so bad after the fifth bag.
- Private: (begins screaming in pain) Do you realize what you've done, Mort? We needed that food! It's doom to us both!
- Mort: (sits down) Doom?!
- Private: Yes, doom, doom, doom, because you're dumb, dumb, dumb!
- Mort: (begins to cry)
- Private: Don't you dare crying!; Because only worse than being trapped with you the rest of my life is being trapped for the rest of my life with you crying!
Episode 61: Arch-Enemy
- Skipper: One mistake little friend, we are like the three musketeers, except there are four of us and we’re birds and in no way French, but the same team mentality applies.
- Dale: Couldn't care less.
Episode 92: Cute-Astrophe
- Julien: [once noticing the humans are unconscious by Private's Quantum Hyper Cute] Tell me, who among you is the Dark Wizard?
- [The penguins step aside to show Private]
- Rico: That guy.
- Private: I was just trying this new little thing I could do! You know, kind of a little... [uses the Quantum Hyper Cute as the other Penguins look away] Boosh.
- Julien: [lovingly] OH, LOOK AT HOW CUTE-- TOO CUTE! TOO CUTE!!
- Private: Umm, Skipper, doesn't violence led to more violence?
- Skipper: I know Private, it's a win win.