The Simpsons Hit & Run

For other uses of "The Simpsons", see The Simpsons (disambiguation).

The Simpsons Hit & Run is a video game based on the animated TV series The Simpsons. In the game, Homer, Bart, Lisa, Marge and Apu make their way through various levels on a quest to save Springfield. (For the PC, PS2, Xbox and GameCube)

Homer

• Get outta my way, jerkass!

• And people say I'm slow. Wait a minute! That was an insult!

• Let's do this thang!

• Ooh, I'm soaring like a candy wrapper in an updraft!

• Homer hates losing! Homer SMASH!

• Learn to drive, ya dumbass!

• WOOHOO! All right!

• I'm a lean, mean...speed thingy!

• [chanting] Two, four, six, eight! You suck! I'm great! La-da-da-da! You are..the..one..I hate!

• As soon as I'm done scratching myself, you're history!

• [Homer notices a security camera at his workstation] How can I sleep with that camera? Ooh, sexy girls could be watching me on the Internet!

• Let's see, I need something to board up the windows. I know! Boards!

• [chanting] I am Evil Homer! I am Evil Homer!

• [chanting] I am so smart, I am so smart, S-M-R-T, I mean S-M-A-R-T.

• [In mocking tone, after smashing up a computer box] If you're so smart, how come I broke you?

• Damn it, I dropped my kebab!

• Just call me Air Homer!

• Almost done, now I just gotta find Flanders' stupid photo of his stupid family.

[when calling for a ride at a phone booth]

• I need your help. My car is uhh...sleeping.
• Can you come and get me? I'll pay you in back rubs.
• CAN YOU COME AND GET ME?! I'LL PAY YOU IN BACK RUBS!

[when getting into a vehicle]:

• Let's roll!
• I love to sit.
• Hey, I found my lost nachos.
• Well, it's about time!

[after kicking someone]:

• I keep making God madder and madder.
• Why you little...
• Grrr.
• Hi-yaah!
• Yaah!
• An older boy told me to do it.
• Outta my way chump!
• Don't worry that should heal fast.

[after hitting something]:

• Uh, it was like that when I got here.
• Bart did it.
• Please don't sue!
• I have no insurance!
• Okay, that's a lawsuit!
• Doh!

[After he collects a "Fix" icon]:

• Oh, I wanted a peanut!
• Where am I gonna put all these?
• You mean I'm not gonna get more?

[When landing hard or crashing]:

• Watch it, I almost spilled my sundae!
• Aww, I swallowed my gum!
• Wow, this car sure can take a beating!
• Aww, now I have a wedgie!
• Ow, my neck!
• Ow, my ass!
• Ow, my head!
• Ooh, I think I broke something.
• Damnit, I dropped my kebab!

[When being chased by the police]:

• The important thing is I'm not imagining these guys.
• Aw, another one?
• Chase King Homer if you dare!

[When leaving a vehicle]:

• Walk? That wasn't part of the deal!
• Aww, I wish I had a dog with a saddle.
• Oh yeah, stretch the legs and the crotch!
• Oh, I forgot my mission.

[When pressing a button]:

• Thingy goes up!
• Woohoo, I love senselessly pushing things!
• What's this do?
• Oh, I hope do not press means press right away!

[When he is the driver and you try to get in on his side]:

• Hee-hee, you're dumber than me!
• What part of "get in" don't you understand?
• [In his "whisper"] That's the wrong side!
• That door is locked and I'm too lazy to open it.

[When panting from running too long]:

• Ouch! My bikini zone's chafing!
• Whoa, I need a disco-nap!
• CHEST PAINS! ENEMY CHEST PAINS!
• MUST...NEVER...RUN...AGAIN!

Bart

• Perfection, thy name, is Bart!
• [panting] Energy...depleting...need, sugar.
• Careful, I bruised easily.
• Ow, my skull, my beautiful skull!
• Whoa, wicked!
• Oww, my coccyx!
• My ribs cost nine-hundred dollars!
• Eat my dust, dust eaters.
• Ugh, my ovaries!
• [panting] If I didn't play so many video games, I'd be in better shape.
• Breaker breaker, this is Bart Simpson, requesting one pimp ride, A.S.A.P.
• Yo, lift, now...please?
• Attention cars, 10 year old hitchhiker needs a ride!
• Lousy laws of physics!
• That was totally awesome!
• Awesome man, that was the best ride ever!
• Oh man, this sucks!
• I didn't do it.
• Bingo!
• Don't have a cow, man!
• Hey, slower traffic to the right, please!
• All right!
• I am the king!
• Oh, this is too cool for school!
• Oh man, that sucks AND blows!
• Jump to light speed!
• Oh, not the detailing!
• Damn automatic transmission!
• My butt hurts!
• (groaning) I just know I'm gonna be blamed for this.
• My dad will pay for all the damages.
• Eat asphalt, asphalt eater! (WARNING: This is very easy to confuse 'asphalt' with 'ass'.)
• I'm flying! Temporarily flying!
• [gasps] I was this close!
• I just glad I'm not in school.

Lisa

• Speed, glorious speed!
• Time to move!
• I go girl!
• (picking up a "FIX" icon) I hope these are recyclable.
• I hope those were recyclable!
• Yay, I won, I won, I won!
• Easy as Pie! The number that is.
• Please don't sue.
• I hope Bart gets blamed for that!
• Don't think I won't sue!
• All for Lisa!
• Oh no!
• Hello Springfield!
• Take that, Gravity!

Marge

• Where to next, video game?
• Ice your wounds!
• Is this gonna affect my insurance?
• Now I wish I had insurance.
• Move it or lose it, buster!
• What are you thinking?!
• Why do you keep hitting everything?
• Are you blind?
• Oh my.
• Eh, i'll clean that up later.
• No time for caution!
• Did I win? I had no idea!
• Marge in charge!
• I won? I'm sorry.
• OH MY GOODNESS!
• Now where do I go?
• Ow! My tushie! Whoo!
• Oh, that looked expensive.
• Oh, I hope I don't have to pay for that.
• (when collecting a "fix" icon) I don't have any pockets!
• Slow and steady wins the race!
• Sexy mommy needs a ride

Apu

• Hopefully my store will not be robbed more than four times while I am driving around today.

• I must admit. The smell of fresh air is much more pleasing than the odor of the hot dog machine.

• I better hurry. Last time I left the store, vandals put pornography in the bridal magazines.

• Ah!... I smashed my skull!

• Move it whitey!

• I am a lean, mean, vindaloo machine!

• Come to papa, random object!

• This is just between me and you, random object.

• Ha! Cleanup in aisle one!

• Shiva smiles on such behavior.

Grandpa

• Hope you like old man smell!

• Now my story begins in nineteen dickety two. We had to say dickety, cause the keizer had stolen the word twenty.

• Get out of my way, every minute might be my last!

• Ow, my middle skull!

• Oh, i'm going to heaven!

• Move it, i'm not dead yet!

• There's my pelvis!

• Look where you're goin', ya idiot!

• I smell toast!

Lenny

[When being hit by a vehicle]:

• Look out!
• Hey, watch where you're goin'!
• Ow, I dropped my bear claw!
• Aaahhh! More pain for Lenny!
• MY EYE!
• Who'd do this to a war hero?!
• Why God? WHY?!

Others

Mayor Quimby: I think I speak for all Springfielders when I say, where is the sexy footage?

Professor Frink: I love the pull of gravity in the morning.

Professor Frink: [When going in the car on his side] No, that's the wrong- you silly- you're a foolish person.

Nelson: [when getting hit by a vehicle] You suck! Ha ha!

Conversations

Marge: Homie, Lisa left for school without her science project. Can you get it to her?

Homer: Oh, do I have to?

Marge: You can drop it off on the way to work.

Homer: And I have to go to work?!

---

Homer: Marge, that black van is spying on us.

Marge: Oh, Homie! You're so sexy when you're paranoid.

---

Homer: Hey, Apu, give me a cola and I need another bucket of ice cream with mini pies.

Apu: What happened to the ice cream with mini pies your wife bought this morning?

Homer: I probably ate it. I don't remember stuff too good.

---

Chief Wiggum: Uh, sorry little girl, I'm busy collecting evidence on Jailbird. We're busting him on the "three strikes law".

Lisa: How many strikes do you have so far?

Chief Wiggum: Er...no strikes. But that's only because I'm a very, very bad cop.

---

Bart: Apu, you gotta warn Krusty about this alien plot, and thus saving the good people of Springfield.

Apu: I'm sorry sir, but I cannot speak English. I can only speak Hindy.

Bart: But you're speaking English now!

Apu: Uh, yes, I learned these words phonetically.

Bart: Well you're just scared of being vaporized by the space monsters.

Apu: Up-down, up-down, uh go hot dog, butter my undershirts, blah blah blah...

---

Snake: Wow, imagine, me getting car-jacked, what a total switcheroo.

Homer: Just go.

Snake: What will you do if I don't?

Homer: Flip you the bird!

Snake: Okay, okay, don't get freaky, get in!

---

Lisa: Dad, I'm really proud of you for rescuing us all from that alien invasion.

Homer: Did that really happen? I thought it was a bad dream after eating too many raw hotdogs.

Marge: No, Homie. You're the town hero!

Homer: Sweet! And the ninja babysitters? Was that real or a hotdog dream?

Lisa: Hotdog dream.

---

Marge: Homie, you're late for work! And today's your evaluation with Mr. Smithers!

Homer: Ahhh! He'll find my scorpion farm, then where will my scorpions live? Only one person can help me - Lenny!

---

Mr. Smithers: Ahh! My convertible! I just waxed an undercoat.

Homer: That's what you get for expecting me to do the job for which I am paid!

---

Bart: Otto man, I need a ride!

Otto: No can do little dude, I gotta round up all these other little dudes and get them to Krustylu for the studio tour!

Bart: But that's where I need to go. Step on it Otto!

Otto: Okay, right after I drop these kids off to Krustylu.

Bart: Otto, I just said that.

Otto: All right, stop hassling me, midget Abraham Lincoln.

---

Homer: Barney, can I borrow the Plow King?

Barney: Take what you want, sexy leprechaun! Just don't shoot me with that dart gun!

Homer: Whatever.

---

Lisa: Thanks for bringing my model of the digestive system. Hey, where's the gall bladder?

Homer: I got hungry and... it was a fig.

Lisa: It was modelling clay!

Homer: Ohh!

Male Adult Pedestrian

• "Watch it buddy!"
• "You can't touch me there. Nothing gives you that right."
• "Takes more then that to kill me!"
• "That does it, I'm moving to Shelbyville."
• "This is the worst town in America!"
• "How'd you like a newspaper upside your head?!"
• "It's a sad day for generic characters everywhere."
• "Thanks a lot Mr. Break My Legs!"
• "Can't an honest man go for a walk any more?"
• "Hey... Eyes on the road, jerk!"
• "Wah?"
• "How's about getting off the road!"
• "Spines don't bend that way!"
• "Goodbye, cruel world."

Female Adult Pedestrian

• "Not again."
• "Ugh! Why is this happening?!"
• "Slow down!"
• "You almost hit a person."
• "I am so sick of this happening!"
• "This is a really bad day."
• "You better run."
• "I need a sick day."
• "I'm scared and disoriented!"
• "This is one weird place!"
• "You haven't seen the last of me!"
• "I'm not afraid to die!"

Links

The Simpsons