The Simpsons Hit & Run

For other uses of "The Simpsons", see The Simpsons (disambiguation).

The Simpsons Hit & Run is a video game based on the animated TV series The Simpsons. In the game, Homer, Bart, Lisa, Marge and Apu make their way through various levels on a quest to save Springfield. (For the PC, PS2, Xbox and GameCube)

Homer

• Get outta my way, jerkass!

• And people say I'm slow. Wait a minute! That was an insult!

• Let's do this thang!

• Ooh, I'm soaring like a candy wrapper in an updraft!

• Homer hates losing! Homer SMASH!!!!!!!!!

• Learn to drive, ya dumbass!

• WOOHOO! All right!

• I'm a lean, mean...speed thingy!

• Learn to drive, you dumbass!

• [chanting] Two, four, six, eight! You suck! I'm great! La-da-da-da! You are..the..one..I hate!

• As soon as I'm done scratching myself, you're history!

• [Homer notices a security camera at his workstation] How can I sleep with that camera? Ooh, sexy girls could be watching me on the internet!

• Let's see, I need something to board up the windows. I know! Boards!

• [chanting] I am Evil Homer! I am Evil Homer!

• [chanting] I am so smart, I am so smart, S-M-R-T, I mean S-M-A-R-T.

• [In mocking tone, after smashing up a computer box] If you're so smart, how come I broke you?

• Damn it, I dropped my kebab!

• Just call me Air Homer!

• [when calling for a ride at a phone booth]

1). I need your help. My car is uhh...sleeping.
2). Can you come and get me? I'll pay you in back rubs.
3). CAN YOU COME AND GET ME?! I'LL PAY YOU IN BACK RUBS!

• [when getting into a vehicle]:

1). Let's roll!
2). I love to sit.
3). Hey, I found my lost nachos.
4). Well, it's about time!

• [after hitting something]:

1). Uh, it was like that when I got here.
2). Bart did it. 
3). Please don't sue!
4). I have no insurance!
5). Okay, that's a lawsuit!
6). Doh!

• [After he collects a "Fix" icon]:

1). Oh, I wanted a peanut!
2). Where am I gonna put all these?
3). If you're not gonna get more...

• [When landing hard or crashing]:

1). Watch it, I almost spilled my sundae!
2). Aww, I swallowed my gum!
3). Wow, this car sure can take a beating!
4). Aww, now I have a wedgie!
5). Ow, my neck!
6). Ow, my ass!
7). Ow, my head!
8). Ooh, I think I broke something.
9). Damnit, I dropped my kebab!

• [When being chased by the police]:

1). The important thing is I'm not imagining these guys.
2). Aw, another one?
3). Chase King Homer if you dare!

• [When leaving a vehicle]:

1). Walk? That wasn't part of the deal!
2). Aww, I wish I had a dog with a saddle.
3). Oh yeah, stretch the legs and the crotch!
4). Oh, I forgot my mission.

• [When pressing a button]:

1). Thingy goes up!
2). Woohoo, I love senselessly pushing things!
3). What's this do?
4). Oh, I hope do not press means press right away!

• [When he is the driver and you try to get in on his side]:

1). Hee-hee, you're dumber than me!
2). What part of "get in" don't you understand?
3). (In his "whisper")That's the wrong side!
4). That door is locked and I'm too lazy to open it.

• [When panting from running too long]:

1). Ouch! My bikini zone's chafing!
2). Whoa, I need a disco-nap!
3). CHEST PAINS! ENEMY CHEST PAINS!
4). MUST...NEVER...RUN...AGAIN!

Bart

• Perfection, thy name, is Bart!
• [panting] Energy...depleting...need, sugar.
• Careful, I bruised easily.
• Ow, my skull, my beautiful skull!
• Whoa, wicked!
• Oww, my toxic!
• My ribs cost nine-hundred dollars!
• Eat my dusts, dust eaters.
• Ugh, my ovaries!
• [panting] If I didn't play so many video games, I'd be in better shape.
• Breaker breaker, this is Bart Simpson, requesting one pimp ride, A.S.A.P.
• Yo, lift, now...please?
• Attention cars, 10 year old hitchhiker needs a ride!
• Lousy laws of physics!
• That was totally awesome!
• Awesome man, that was the best ride ever!
• Oh man, this sucks!
• I didn't do it.
• Bingo!
• Don't have a cow, man!
• Hey, slower traffic to the right, please!
• All right!
• I am the king!
• Oh, this is too cool for school!
• Oh man, that sucks AND blows!
• Jump to light speed!
• Oh, not the detailing!
• Damn automatic transmission!
• My butt hurts!
• (groaning) I just know I'm gonna be blamed for this.
• My dad will pay for all the damages.
• Eat asphalt, asphalt eater! (WARNING: This is very easy to confuse 'asphalt' with 'ass'.)
• I'm flying! Temporarily flying!
• [gasps] I was this close!
• I just glad I'm not them school.

Lisa

• Speed, glorious speed!
• Time to move!
• I go girl!
• (picking up a "FIX" icon) I hope these are recyclable.
• I hope those were recyclable!
• Yay, I won, I won, I won!
• Easy as Pie! The number that is.
• Please don't sue.
• I hope Bart gets blamed for that!
• Don't think I won't sue!
• All for Lisa!
• Oh no!
• Hello Springfield!
• Take that, Gravity!

Marge

• Where to next, video game?
• Ice your wounds!
• Is this gonna affect my insurance?
• Now I wish I had insurance.
• Move it or lose it, buster!
• What are you thinking?!
• Why do you keep hitting everything?
• Are you blind?
• Oh my.
• Eh, i'll clean that up later.
• No time for caution!
• Did I win? I had no idea!
• Marge in charge!
• I won? I'm sorry.
• OH MY GOODNESS!
• Now where do I go?
• Ow! My tushie! Whoo!
• Oh, that looked expensive.
• Oh, I hope I don't have to pay for that.
• (when collecting a "fix" icon) I don't have any pockets!
• Slow and steady wins the race!
• Sexy mommy needs a ride

Apu

• Hopefully my store will not be robbed more than four times while I am driving around today.

• I must admit. The smell of fresh air is much more pleasing than the odor of the hot dog machine.

• I better hurry. Last time I left the store, vandals put pornography in the bridal magazines.

• Ah!... I smashed my skull!

• Move it whitey!

• I am a lean, mean, vindaloo machine!

• Come to papa, random object!

• This is just between me and you, random object.

• Ha! Cleanup in aisle one!

Grandpa

• Hope you like old man smell!

• Now my story begins in nineteen dickety two. We had to say dickety, cause the keizer had stolen the word twenty.

• Get out of my way, every minute might be my last!

• Ow, my middle skull!

• Oh, i'm going to heaven!

• Move it, i'm not dead yet!

• There's my pelvis!

• Look where you're goin', ya idiot!

• I smell toast!

Lenny

• [When being hit by a vehicle]:

1). Look out!
2). Hey, watch where you're goin'!
3). Ow, I dropped my bear claw!
4). Aaahhh! More pain for Lenny!
5). MY EYE!
6). Who'd do this to a war hero?!
7). Why God? WHY?!

Others

Mayor Quimby: I think I speak for all Springfielders when I say, where is the sexy footage?

Professor Frink: I love the pull of gravity in the morning.

Professor Frink: [When going in the car on his side] No, that's the wrong- you silly- you're a foolish person.

Nelson: [when getting hit by a vehicle] You suck! Ha ha!

Conversations

Marge: Homie, Lisa left for school without her science project. Can you get it to her?

Homer: Oh, do I have to?

Marge: You can drop it off on the way to work.

Homer: And I have to go to work?!

---

Homer: Marge, that black van is spying on us.

Marge: Oh, Homie! You're so sexy when you're paranoid.

---

Homer: Hey, Apu, give me a cola and I need another bucket of ice cream with mini pies.

Apu: What happened to the ice cream with mini pies your wife bought this morning?

Homer: I probably ate it. I don't remember stuff too good.

---

Chief Wiggum: Uh, sorry little girl, I'm busy collecting evidence on Jailbird. We're busting him on the "three strikes law".

Lisa: How many strikes do you have so far?

Chief Wiggum: Er...no strikes. But that's only because I'm a very, very bad cop.

---

Bart: Apu, you gotta warn Krusty about this alien plot, and thus saving the good people of Springfield.

Apu: I'm sorry sir, but I cannot speak English. I can only speak Indy.

Bart: But you're speaking English now!

Apu: Uh, yes, I learned these words physically.

Bart: Well you're just scared of being vaberised by the space monsters.

Apu: Up-down, up-down, uh go hot dog, butter my undershirts, blah blah blah...

---

Snake: Wow, imagine, me getting car-jacked, what a total switcheroo.

Homer: Just go.

Snake: What will you do if I don't?

Homer: Flip you the bird!

Snake: Okay, okay, don't get freaky, get in!

---

Lisa: Dad, I'm really proud of you for rescuing us all from that alien invasion.

Homer: Did that really happen? I thought it was a bad dream after eating too many raw hotdogs.

Marge: No, Homie. You're the town hero!

Homer: Sweet! And the ninja babysitters? Was that real or a hotdog dream?

Lisa: Hotdog dream.

---

Marge: Homie, you're late for work! And today's your evaluation with Mr. Smithers!

Homer: Ahhh! He'll find my scorpion farm, then where will my scorpions live? Only one person can help me - Lenny!

---

Mr. Smithers: Ahh! My convertible! I just waxed an undercoat.

Homer: That's what you get for expecting me to do the job for which I am paid!

---

Bart: Otto man, I need a ride!

Otto: No can do little dude, I gotta round up all these other little dudes and get them to Krustylu for the studio tour!

Bart: But that's where I need to go. Step on it Otto!

Otto: Okay, right after I drop these kids off to Krustylu.

Bart: Otto, I just said that.

Otto: All right, stop hassling me, midget Abraham Lincoln.

---

Homer: Barney, can I borrow the Plow King?

Barney: Take what you want, sexy leprechaun! Just don't shoot me with that dart gun!

Homer: Whatever.

---

Lisa: Thanks for bringing my model of the digestive system. Hey, where's the gall bladder?

Homer: I got hungry and... it was a fig.

Lisa: It was modelling clay!

Homer: Ohh!

Male Adult Pedestrian

• "Takes more then that to kill me!"
• "You can't touch me there. Nothing gives you that right."
• "Watch it buddy!"
• "That does it, I'm moving to Shelbyville."
• "This is the worst town in America!"
• "How'd you like a newspaper upside your head?!"
• "It's a sad day for generic characters everywhere."
• "Thanks a lot Mr. Break My Legs!"
• "Can't an honest man go for a walk any more?"
• "Hey... Eyes on the road, jerk!"
• "Wah?"
• "How's about getting off the road!"
• "Spines don't bend that way!"
• "Goodbye, cruel world."

Female Adult Pedestrian

• "Not again."
• "Ugh! Why is this happening?!"
• "Slow down!"
• "You almost hit a person."
• "I am so sick of this happening!"
• "This is a really bad day."
• "You better run."
• "I need a sick day."
• "I'm scared and disoriented!"
• "This is one weird place!"
• "You haven't seen the last of me!"
• "I'm not afraid to die!"

Links

The Simpsons