Three Stooges

The Three Stooges were an American comedy act in the 20th century. Commonly known by their first names, Larry, Moe, & Curly (sometimes spelled "Curley"); Larry, Moe & Shemp; and other lineups became famous for their work in movies and starred in many short features that consisted of masterful ways of showcasing their extremely physical and sometimes controversial brand of slapstick comedy.

Although The Three Stooges are best known for their physical comedy, the group's dialogue is also highly quotable, with many of their lines (or signature nonverbal vocalizations) having become popular catchphrases. Here are some examples:

Moe Howard

• "Why I oughta..."
• "You imbecile!"
• "You knucklehead!"
• "Oh, a wise guy, eh?"
• "Spread out!" (Usually to the other two, and maybe some other people when fighting)
• "I'll murder ya!" (To Larry, Curly, or Curly Joe)
• "Why you...
• "Spread out!"
• "You nitwit!"
• "Oh, you're an intelligent imbecile!"
• "What's the big idea?!"

Curly Howard

• "Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk!"
• "Oh, a wise guy, eh?"
• "Soitenly!" (certainly)
• "Nyaaaaaahhhhhhh!"
• "La-la-la, la-la-la..." (Humming)
• "Mmmmmmmmh!" (when frustrated; difficult to transcribe exactly)
• "Rrrowf! Rrrowf!" (when angry or defiant)
  • Other attempt: (Ruff! Ruff!)
• "I'm a victim of soicumstance" (circumstance)
• "Say a few syllables!" (To Moe when trying to wake him)
• "Woo-woo-woo-woo!" (When frightened) (He sometimes runs around or away when saying this)
  • (or "Whoop-whoop-whoop-whoop!")
  • (or "Woop-oop-oop-oop-oop-oop!")
• "Poifect!"
• "Oh boy!"
• "You're gettin' in my hair!"
• "I fall down." (Like a baby)
• "Hey, Moe! Hey, Larry!"
• "We're not normal people. We're morons.

Larry Fine

• "I'm sorry, Moe, it was an accident!"
• "What's the idea?"
• "I didn't wanna say yes, but I couldn't say no."
• "Leave him alone!"

Shemp Howard

• "Eeeb-eeeb-eeeb-eeeb!"
• "Waah, w-ohh!" (A wolf-whistle towards women that sounded like a steam whistle)
• "Hey, Moe! Hey, Larry!"
• "Mee-mee-mee-mee!" (Frightened or surprised): Uttered very fast, difficult to transcribe exactly; some other attempts:
  • "Heep-heep-heep-heep!"
  • "Hee-hee-hee-hee!"
  • "Bee-bee-bee-bee!"
  • "Vee-vee-vee-vee!"
  • "Meep-meep-meep-meep!" The Stooges also would make these noises as if they were snoring in scenes in which they are depicted as asleep.

All Stooges

• "Hello (Moe, low tone), Hellooo (Larry, a major third higher, with Moe still holding his 'o'), Hellooooo (Curly, a major fifth higher than Moe, forming a major chord with Moe and Larry)!"
• "Nyahhh-ah-ah!" (Stooges frightened)
  • Other attempts: "Nyuhhh-uh-uh!"
  • Yuhhh-uh-uh-uh!

Joe Besser

• "Not so haaaaaard!"
• "That huuuuurts!"
• "Oh, cut it ouuuuuut!"
• "You crazy you!"
• "That's good for you! That's good for you! (gets hit by something) That's bad for me!
• "Come on and fight like a man!"

Curly-Joe DeRita

• "Okay, buddy boy"
• "Buddy, boy"
• "One of these days, your gonna poke my eyes out." (to Moe)

Emil Sitka

• "Hold Hands, You Love Birds"
• "I'm gonna get you! Even if it takes me another 60 years!
• "Your drink Madam." (Pie hits him in the face) "Pardon me Madam"

Quotes & gags

• "Moe, Larry, the cheese! Moe, Larry, the cheese!" (Curly in the 1935 short, Horses Collars)

• "A hot stake is better than a cold chop." (Curly, on why he would rather be burned at the stake instead of decapitated)

• "Anacanapon!" (Moe, demanding a surgical instrument)

• "Seenophran!" (Moe, demanding another surgical instrument)

• "Cotton!!" (Stooges to each other whenever performing surgery)

• "Remind me to kill/murder you later!" (Moe, to others)
  • "I'll make a note of it!" (Larry or Curly)

• "Spread Out!" (Moe, to others)

• "Hey Lorna, How ya do'in?" (Shemp introduction to Lorna Doone)

• "Niagara Falls! Slowly I turn, step by step, inch by inch. I walked up to him, I smashed him like this, I hit him, I bopped him, I tore him to pieces, and then I knocked him down!" (Moe or Larry)

• "Hey! Wake up and go to sleep!" (Moe)

• "Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard." (over the public address system in a hospital).

• "I'm tryin' to think, but nothin' happens!" (Curly)

• "Mammy!" (Larry gets on his knees to Moe)
• "Pappy!" (Moe gets on his knees to Larry)
  • (Double-slaps Larry after that) "GO ON!"

• "Get out (ta here)! (Moe to others)

• (After Moe tells the others to do something)
  • Curly and/or Larry: "I'll (take, clean) it when I'm ready!"
  • Moe: "Are ya ready?!"
  • Curly and/or Larry: "Yeah, I'm ready."
  • or
  • Curly and/or Larry: "Wait a minute! What're you gonna do?"
  • Moe: "Nothin', what about it?!"
  • Curly and/or Larry: "Oh, I just thought I'd ask."

• "Oh, a chisler, eh?" (Moe to Larry, Curly, or Shemp)

• "Boy, that's funny!" (Curly Joe)
  • "So's your face!" (Moe to Curly Joe)
  • "You really know how to hurt a guy, Moe!" (Curly Joe to Moe)

• "My father died dancing; on the end of a rope." (Curly)

• "I'll take some burnt toast 'n' a rotten egg." (any of the Stooges)
  • "Burnt toast 'n' a rotten egg?" (any of the Stooges)
  • "Yeah, I got a tape worm, 'n' thats good enough fer him." (any of the Stooges)

• Moe: Put yer hand on yer chin (After Moe gets Larry or Curly to put his right fist up to his chin), yer knee up here (and puts his right knee up to his right elbow).
  • Curly and/or Larry: "What happens now?"
  • Moe: "This!"
  • (then Moe kicks their right foot causing his right fist to hit his chin)

• "Ngah-ngah-ngah!" (Curly frightened)

• "Why you...!" (Moe or Curly, to others)

• "Come 'ere!" (Moe, to others)

• "Hey, porcupine!" (Moe, to Larry)

• (After Moe pokes them in the eyes)
  • Curly and/or Larry: "I can't see! I can't see!"
  • Moe: "What'sa matter?"
  • Curly and/or Larry: "I got my eyes closed."
  • (Moe pokes them in the eyes again)

• (Usually when Moe wants to open a bottle of beer or something like it)
  • Moe: "Close your eyes. Open your mouth. Depress your lower jaw." (Moe slams the bottlecap off with the Stooge's lower teeth, presumably ripping them out.)

• A variant of the previous catchphrase is when Moe just opens a bottle of beer without giving orders. The Stooge will be in pain when Moe says:
  • Moe: Quit sqwaking!
  • (any Stooge): Well, gimme back my front teeth!

• If another Stooge is knocked unconscious Moe sometimes props up the Stooge's head and says, "Tell me your name so I can tell your mother" (that you're hurt). The other Stooge then replies, "My mother knows my name!" at which point Moe slaps him on the head.

• "Vitamins A, B, C, D, E, F, gee I like food!" (Curly)

• The Stooges are crossing the Sahara and come to a sign post with markers that point in the direction of several far off cities, including Cairo:
  • Curly: "I've got an uncle in Cairo."
  • Moe: "Oh yea?"
  • Curly: "He's a chiropractor. Nyuk, Nyuk, Nyuk."

• Let's sympathize our watches! (Moe)

• (as Moe tries to explain Pig Latin)
  • Moe: "Moe...O-may. Larry...Arry-lay. Curly?"
  • Curly: "Curly Q!"
• Curly: "Aye-aye!"
• Moe: "Aye-aye?"
• Curly: "Aye-aye!"
  • {Moe pokes Curly in the eyes}
• Curly: {Shouting} "Aye-aye!"

("You Nazty Spy!" [1940]

The Stooges, recently made dictators of Moronika, are addressing a rally.

Larry: We will now pause for station identification.

Curly: (bending to microphone) This is N-U-T-S.

Larry: (brandishing a small mallet) When you hear the conk on the dome, it will be exactly 3 o'clock. (He strikes Curly on the head.) 3 o'clock, Bolonia watch time.

Curly: 3 o'clock, Bolonia watch time. ("Bolonia" is a reference to Bulova brand wristwatches.)

Moe: (a'la a horror-show announcer) It must be three o'clock! (laughs evilly, and then Larry and Curly join in).

(From " Hoi Polloi" [1935)

Professor Richmond: Can you spell cat?

Curly: Soitenly!

Professor Richmond: Spell it.

Curly: Cat. K-I-T-T-Y. Pussy.

"Oh see the little dear! Has the deer a little dough"(professor) "Yeah, 2 bucks!"(laughs)(Larry)

(The Stooges are about to attend a fancy ball)

Moe: Now then, gentlemen, remember your etiquette. (He then gives both Larry and Curly a slap.)

Larry: What's that for?

Curly: We didn't do nothin'!

Moe: That's in case you do when I'm not around!

Moe: Some choice! We're either gonna be burned at the stake or get the guillotine!

Curly: I'd rather be burned at the stake.

Moe: What for?

Curly: Because a hot steak is better than a cold chop!

Customer: What kind of an idiot do you take me for, anyway?

Shemp: Why, is there more than one kind?

Shemp: You know, for two cents, I'd punch you right in the nose!

Bully: Oh, yeah? Here's your two cents.

Shemp: Well, I raised my price!

Moe: Them's fighting words in my country!

Bully: Oh, yeah? What about it?

Moe: Nothing. Lucky for you, we're not in my country...

Moe: (to Larry, who has a whole turkey on his dinner plate) Wait a minute. Are you going to eat that turkey alone?

Larry: Nah. I thought I might go back later and get some mashed potatoes and stuffing.

(Micro-Phonies(1945))

Moe: Wait a minute! You lamebrains can't do anything right can ya? Come on(Pulls Larry's Hair) You come over here!

Larry: Just a Second! Let me have that wrench!

(Larry drops wrench on Moe's foot,Moe slips on pipe hits his head)

Moe: You imbeciles!

Alice: I Hear the voice of sping anew (Opera sings)

Moe: Hey boys, I must be dead,I hear an angel singin'

Alice: Love is like a flower.

Curly: My Nyuh,Nyuh,Nyuh ain't she pretty.

Moe: Boy,you can say that again!

(Curly repeats)

Moe: Shut up!

(Evening Scene)

Larry and Moe: Good evening,Jeeves!

Moe: Jeeves,what time do they serve Cocktails?

Larry:Hey, Look who's here?

Moe: If he spots us were cooked!

Moe: Mucslin' in our territory,eh?

Moe: The Senoritas lost here voice!

'Sra.Bixby: What is it Laringyatis?

Moe: No fallen arches.

---

(From " Dizzy Pilots" [1945)

(The Stooges are building a plane)

Moe: Where's your vice?

Curly: Vice? I have no vice, I'm as pure as a driven snow!

Moe: But you're driftin'.

(Moe hits Curly in the forehead)

(From " Pardon My Scotch" [1935)

(The Stooges are installing a door, the owner told them to put the door 'on the right')

Moe: Now let's see.. the door goes on the right (looks at his right hand and nods)

Curly: (In front of Moe) Wait a minute the man said the door goes on the right! (points to opposite direction)

Moe: (Showing Curly his right hand as a fist) What's this?

Curly: A fist

Moe:(Moe hits Curly in the forehead) Right or left?

(Curly meditates on this)

Moe: Oh, ignorant ehh?

(He hits him again)

Moe: Now, listen grapehead, I'll explain this so even you can understand it

(They change positions)

Moe: Now when I say go, we both point to the right...go!

(They point in opposite directions; Curly recoils)

Moe: (to Larry) Hey porcupine come here!

(Larry approaches, he is facing Moe's right side and Curly's left)

Moe: Point to the right for this chump will ya?

(Larry point to a completely different direction than the other two)

Moe: (slapping both; grumpy voice) Stop playing, get to work...Where's the map?...Over there (it's on the right of the audience)