The Wedding Planner
The Wedding Planner is a 2001 film about a successful wedding planner who breaks the cardinal rule when planning weddings: she falls for the groom.
- Directed by Adam Shankman. Written by Pamela Falk and Michael Ellis.
- "Earwax. 'X' on a triple letter, 'A' on a double word. Seventy-two points."
- "A quarter cup of lemon juice, half a cup of salt and a loofah sponge. Scrub scrub scrub."
- "You saved... my shoe. M-my life."
- "You smell like sweet red plums and grilled cheese sandwiches."
- "What I'm thinking involves a machete and a pair of pliers."
- "Are you aware that Fran has chosen teal for her bridesmaids? Teal, the color of gangrene. ... Oh, oh, and I Honestly Love You as your wedding song? You might as well commit matrimonial suicide right now!"
- "You are exquisite. You're timeless. And you have the love of a man named Steve. A man who, while you were away having meetings about mozzarella, said to me: 'I can't believe she picked me. I can't believe I'm marrying the most incredible woman I've ever met.' So that tells me that this marriage of yours is not only gonna work, it's gonna last forever."
- "I had to go through your wallet to get your identification. And you know what I must say, I've ever met anyone who alphabetized her credit cards before."
- "What if what I think is great, really is great... but it's not as great, as something greater?"
- "Oh, of course. Krazy Glue. Why didn't I bring the Krazy Glue, in case his pecker fell off?"
- Geri: "Pierre, I love you, but if you use another carnation in my bouquet I will deport you. Muah."
- Penny: "Oh no! Darn it, I just remembered that I... I promised my friend's brother's godmother that I would help her um change her fax cartridge tonight... because she's going out of town tomorrow... on an African safari!"
- Bert: "Girl asks you to dance, you dance."
- Massimo: "You long for him the way I long for you."
- Massimo: "You need to learn the patience. Love can't always be perfect. Love is just love."
- Salvatore: "Maria, you remember Massimo."
- Dottie: "Mud did him good."
- Massimo: "The last time I see you, you were scrawny and ugly and your head was too big for your body."
- Mary: "How nice. Thank you."
- Steve: "Now talk to me. How are you feeling? Are you experiencing any dizziness, nausea, difficulty breathing?"
- Mary: "The breathing thing rings a bell. Then again, you are on top of me, cutting off my air supply."
- Little Girl 1: "Yup, she's dead all right."
- Little Girl 2: "You think she's going to heaven?"
- Little Boy: "Definitely. She's got the cleanest toes I've ever seen!"
- Mary: "Where am I?"
- Little Girl 1: "You're at the Children's Ward of St. Vincent's Hospital. I'm your doctor. Try not to talk."
- Mary: "My god. I'm paralyzed! I'm paralyzed!"
- Little Boy: "If you're moving your arms and legs, you're clearly not paralyzed."
- Steve: "You can take this off now. (removes neck brace) Oh, you've got a big neck."
- Mary: "I have a big neck!"
- Steve: "Don't get me wrong. It's a fine neck. It's just that, I haven't had a patient over the age of six in three years."
- Mary: (sees bandaged hand) "What happened to your hand?"
- Steve: "My hand. You fell on it with your big neck."
- Steve: "Seriously. How'd you get into it? I've never met a member of a Scrabble Club before.”
- Mary: "When my parents came over from Italy they joined a Scrabble Club so they could learn English. After my mom died, my dad became, like, obsessed with the game and wanted me to play with him all the time. So, I guess, in a way, I was destined."
- Steve: "C-O-O-L."
- Mary: "What are you doing?"
- Steve: "I only eat the brown ones."
- Mary: "Because?"
- Steve: "Well, because I figure they have less artificial coloring because chocolate is already brown."
- Mary: "That's very scientific of you Dr. Steve."
- Steve: "It was a dance. Whoop dee doo. It didn't mean anything."
- Mary: "Then why'd you almost kiss me?"
- Fran: "Oh, Mary I've been meaning to ask you. Speaking of love, what happened to that guy? You know, the one that you danced with-- (car swerves) EDDIE!"
- Steve: “There was a damn deer in the road. Did you see that? Damn it."
- Bert: "I told you Mismo was full of crap."
- Salvatore: "No Mismo! MASSimo! MASSimo! Please, go toast your bagel and mind your own business."
- Bert: "Yeah yeah, I'll toast when I see fit! Mismo, Massimo, any other kind of -mo, -mo."
- Mary: "That's your specialty? Instant macaroni and cheese."
- Massimo: "Si, it is a low-budget wonder. Already today, I've eaten three boxes."
- Mary: "Nancy Pong? 2C?"
- Nancy Pong: "Yes."
- Mary: "It's Mary Fiore, 7H. You don't know me. We haven't met because I'm a control freak and I don't have time for people. But if you ever need to borrow a cup of sugar, I can't help you. Because I don't have time to shop."
- Mary: "He said they were just friends, but deep down I knew better. I was just a stand-in. A poor man's Wendy. ... Jerk. It's a good thing I didn't marry him. But most of the time I just think... I just wasn't enough."
- Steve: "No, no, no, you're wrong. And another thing. This Wendy, she's nothing but a poor man's Mary."
- Steve: "You ever think about that night in the park?"
- Mary: "What?"
- Steve: "I barely know you. I don't know your dad's first name. I don't know if you ever wore braces or contacts or glasses. I have no idea how you came to be a wedding planner, Mary. But I know the curves of your face and I know every fleck of gold in your eyes. And I know that that night in the park was the best time I've ever had."
- Steve: "Why are you only eating the brown ones?"
- Mary: "Because someone once said that they had less artificial coloring because chocolate's already brown. And it kind of stayed with me."
- Steve: "You kind of stayed with me."
- Those who can’t do, teach. Those who can’t wed, plan.
- His big day is her big problem.
- Jennifer Lopez — Mary Fiore
- Matthew McConaughey — Steve Edison
- Bridgette Wilson-Sampras — Francine Donolly
- Justin Chambers — Massimo Lenzetta
- Judy Greer — Penny Nicholson