The Wotch

From Wikiquote
Jump to: navigation, search

The Wotch is a fantasy webcomic by Anne Onymous and Robin Ericson (pseudonyms). It takes place in the fictional town of Tandy.

Part 1 - Enter The Wotch[edit]

  • "Jason, no offence, but there are a million places I'd rather be than in a janitors closet with you..." -- Robin, hiding in a closet while Jason spys on Anne [1]
  • "Don't come back till you regain your sanity!" -- Robin, to Jason [2]
  • "Actually, I'm a Wotch..." -- Anne, revealing her secret to Robin and Jason [3]
  • "You're a timepiece?" -- Jason, responding to Anne telling him that she is a Wotch [4].
  • "Can you maybe bust out some of that Wotchcraft to maybe turn a few more cute girls in the area into redheads?" -- Jason, to Anne [5]

Part 2 - Comic Relief[edit]

  • "Comics are a learning experience. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date with culture" -- Jason, arguing the merits of comic books [6]
  • "Ooooo...Witchfire has a new, skimpier costume!" -- Jason, immediately after arguing the merits of comic books [7]
  • "Shut up! Do you want to invoke the wrath of the Lawsuit Gods?-- Jason, after Robin points out who the imitation superheroes are supossed to be [8]
  • "Anne, it's me! Of course I'd think of a girl!" -- Jason, after being transformed into an imitation of his favourite female superhero, Psykique [9]
  • "I'm too female to die!" -- Jason as Psykique [10]

Part 3 - Abra-cat-dabra[edit]

  • "Cookie!", "Milk!", "Dollies!", "TV!", "Coloring!", "Hide and seek!" -- Lilly, making demands [11]
  • "Wow... I'm talking out loud to myself like a bad way of moving plot forward" -- Anne, moving the plot forward [12]
  • "Hey, I couldn't find anything called sageweed, so I got a weed from outside and some sage from the Home Ec. room. Will that do?" -- Jason, getting ingredients for Anne [13]
  • "Why do I have an urge to kidnap a princess?" -- Jason, asking why is he having an urge to kidnap Anne [14]


Anne: E! I told you to stay downstairs! Look what you did! Don't try to "cute face" yourself out of this one! You really messed up this time! Aw, gee, I can't be mad at you when you look like that... Dispellus Amulet (transforms Lilly to E) That's better.
E: Woah! Calm down, kitty cat! I can't be held responsible when I'm Lilly. Remember when I ruined my own Star Wars figures because I didn't think they were cute enough?
Anne: Yeah, yeah, I know, but this is really a mess.
E: Why not just use the reverse of the spell?
Anne: Because it doesn't have one! It wasn't supposed to need one! I essentially created a new spell. Transmogrification is a complicated art. See I can reverse it, but I need components I don't have for the spell work! Come on, E, we're heading to the magic shop.
E: I'm coming, I'm coming! Don't push, I can feel your claws!
Anne: I'm well aware of that. [15]

Anne: Hiya.
Robin: AAAAHHHH!!!!
Anne: Robin! Wait! It's me!
Robin: Anne?! What happened?!
Anne: A 20 year old girl happened.
E: Did I mention I was sorry about that?
Robin: Wow... uh... wow... why not just turn yourself back?
Anne: Because I need the components for the spell to work, and the magic shop is closed!
E: And good luck finding stuff like this at the quick stop!
Robin: Let me see... hmm... You know, between the chemistry and biology labs at school, I bet we could find what we need! Or close to it anyway.
Anne: You think so? That's a great idea!
E: Yeah! We should sneak over there fast!
Robin: Well, let's make one stop on the way first...
Jason: AAAAAHHHHH!!! [16]

Jason: You're a riot, Robin.
Robin: Well, I thought it was funny.
E: I'm just happy the two of you don't wake up the neighborhood. But thanks again for coming, guys.
Robin: Hey, we said we'd be here for Anne and we mean it!
Jason: I just have one question.
Robin: How we'll get into the school so late at night? How we'll synthesize such odd ingredients? How Anne will turn back to her normal self?
Jason: No, I just want to know if she knows she's walking like that.
E: Anne, you're scaring the locals.
Anne: Oops! Sorry... [17]

Anne: Well, Maki, w'ere back. Sorry we had to dash out, but we had quite the situation! Creating a new spell can be dangerous. I mean, I almost got stuck as a catgirl!
Maki: Meow.
Anne: Messing with new spells is definitely something I should be more careful about, and always make sure to get the results I mean to get! No more accidental changes into a catgirl. Gignosko Felina Peri! (transforms into a catgirl) Only the proper, easily reversible catgirl spell from now on! Wanna raid the kitchen for tuna?
Maki: Meow! [18]

Part 11 - Moon Over Tandy[edit]

  • "Oh man oh man oh man... he knows. He must know. Or he's going to find out. I thought I was doing a good job keeping it secret, but people must have seen me. Oh man oh man, I need to do something. He's gonna blab it to the whole school and then... I don't know what! I hate this. I hate having this secret and no one can help me. Maybe if I just talked to him, or anyone... but is it really a good idea?" -- Wolfie, thinking about telling someone her secret [19]
  • "Best... catfight... ever..." -- Robin, seeing the fight between Anne and Katie [20]
  • "Well, geez, at least blink! Or duck!" -- Jason, trying to get Robin to stop staring at Anne [21]
  • "Grr, why do I keep the most priceless thing I have under my old "ninja turtle" figures?!" -- Wolfie, looking for her amulet [22]


Anne: Look out!! (bumps to Wolfie) Rrooooooww...
Wolfie: Oh no! She got Anne! (grabs Anne) Don't worry, Anne! I'll save you!
Anne: Ack!
Wolfie: Jason! Quick! Get that talisman! We need to put it on Anne so she gets her normal mind back!
Jason: Huh? Anne's fine! She did that to herself.
Wolfie: ...Oh?
Anne: Oxygen, becoming an issue! Man, Wolfie, is that even legal?!
Wolfie: Heh... not usually, no.
Jason: What's with the Koopa shell anyway?
Wolfie: This is a family talisman. My ancestors who were werewolves had to wear it to keep their minds human. Eventually, its powers embedded in our bloodline, so we don't need it anymore... and should I just ignore the fact that Robin is a girl?
Anne: No, I thought it would help you two with crowd control. What's this about staring?
Jason: Anne caught him staring at her bra.
Robin: Um... hey! Katie's still a werecat! Heh heh... [23]

Katie: Wolfie?!
Wolfie: Katie? You got your mind back! Nice shot, Anne!
Anne: Thanks, I practice.
Katie: What in the he-- why do I have fur?!
Wolfie: I wasn't the were- they were looking for; you were. I guess you were bitten by a were-cat but my special amulet brings your human mind back in control.
Katie: Oh... is Anne a were-cat too?
Wolfie: No, she's something much more, I think.
Anne: Yeppers! Oh, let me heal you up, there. Hey, is that bite gonna... um... complicate things for you?
Wolfie: Nah, I know all about were-curses. I'll be fine, trust me.
Katie: Okay, this is the part of the crazy dream where Legolas shows up and we start making out, right?
Anne: Oh, I gotta take care of something. You two should probably hide. [24]

Anne: How are we holding back here?
Wolfie: Huh? Oh, fine, I guess.
Katie: Yeah, fine. I'm looking forward to two fantastic monthly events now. One of which turns me into a vicious monster and the other one into a were-cat.
Wolfie: Hey, it's not that bad. I'll help you through it.
Anne: Wolfie, if it's not that bad, why did you come to be cured anyway?
Wolfie: Well, you would too, if you're the only were-wolf in this area. My parents would be so paranoid that I might get found out. I guess I was frustrated and lonely.
Katie: Gee, is that all? I can help you out there! We're weres together, sister!
Wolfie: Yeah, I guess we are!
Katie: I suppose this is what one calls a blessing in disguise. (she and Wolfie hug) Is my chest bigger?! [25]

Wolfie's Mother: Samantha! There's a girl for you. Is she... the other one?
Wolfie: Yeah! That's her! Send her up! Sorry 'bout that, Anne. My parents are still pretty nervous about all this.
Anne: No problem, I totally understand! What are we watching?
Katie: The hottest elf ever. Popcorn?
Anne: I prefer adult Link myself.
Katie: If he looks like Orlando Bloom then I need to start playing more video games. Hey, Anne, aren't you forgetting what we talked about at lunch?
Anne: Oh right! Sorry! Gignosko Felina Peri! (transforms into a catgirl)
Katie: Much better. Nobody without tails allowed.
Anne: Oh, that reminds me! Katie, hold up your amulet for a minute.
Katie: Uh, okay. (the amulet transformed into a clover shape) Hey! Nice! Thanks, Anne!
Anne: No problem. Figured if you had to wear that, it might as well be your taste. Now, I can count on you guys not to tell anyone about me, right?
Katie: Anne, as an official part of weirdness that is our city, I assured that my lips are sealed.
Wolfie: Ditto. [26]

Part 16 - Enter The Wotch?[edit]

  • "The theories become more believeable the more I repeat them to myself." -- Ivan, the newspaper editor, describing his theories on the supernatural happenings in Tandy [27]
  • "Great, and here I thought these "Wicked West of the Wotch" jokes were over -- Miranda West, the former Wotch, upon hearing of the Wicked Witch of the West [28]