This Is the End

From Wikiquote
Jump to: navigation, search

This Is the End is a 2013 American apocalyptic comedy film about Seth Rogen, Jay Baruchel and many other celebrities who are faced with the apocalypse, while attending a party at James Franco's house.

Directed and written by Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg.
Nothing ruins a party like the end of the world.

James Franco[edit]

  • I fucked Lindsay Lohan at the Chateau Marmont. She kept knocking on my door, she was high. She kept calling me Jake Gyllenhaal. I said just call me your Prince of Persia.

Jonah Hill[edit]

  • A huge earthquake happens, who do they rescue first? They'll rescue Clooney, Sandra Bullock, me. If there's room, you guys will come.
  • Dear God, it's me, Jonah Hill...from Moneyball...

Craig Robinson[edit]

  • Welcome to Heaven, mothafuckas!

Dialogue[edit]

Seth Rogen: Just answer me one question: Is Michael Cera's butthole as adorable as I pictured?
Jay Baruchel: Oh for fucks sake...
Seth Rogen: I picture it looking like a little donut. A little pink sprinkled donut.

Jonah Hill: [after the group inventories the remaining food] Can I have that Milky Way?
James Franco: You can't have the Milky Way. It's my special food, I like it.
Seth Rogen: I want some of the Milky Way!
Craig Robinson: I'd be pretty bummed if I don't get at least a bite of the Milky Way.

James Franco: Your mama's pussy was the canvas. Your dad's dick was the paintbrush. Boom. You're the art.
Jay Baruchel: Thank you, James Franco.

James Franco: Who did this?
Seth Rogen: Did what? What are you talking about?
James Franco: Jizzed all over the pages of this nice magazine I was nice enough to tell you about.
Danny McBride: [Raises hand] It was me, Franco. I fuckin' made jizz in your magazine.
James Franco: Why?
Danny McBride: When I fuckin' jack off long enough, I end up jizzin', dude. I'm assuming, the same shit works for you?
James Franco: Real fuckin' smart answer! Why don't you fuckin' aim, huh?
Danny McBride: I have a particularly explosive ejaculating that just goes everywhere. It's like a fuckin' wild fireman's hose - you just got to grab on and pray to God it doesn't get into your eyes or your mouth.
James Franco: The fuck kind of jerking off is that? What, you never had any brothers? You never learned to jizz in a fuckin' sock or on a fuckin' tissue?
Danny McBride: You think that's the only thing I jerk off on in here? I've been dropping off loads around this fuckin' house like a goddamn dump truck.
James Franco: You don't cum on my stuff!
Danny McBride: I'll cum wherever the fuck I want, James! I'll fuckin' cum in your kitchen, I'll cum on your fuckin' art, I'll cum anywhere I want!
James Franco: I will fuckin' cum right on you! I will cum like a fuckin' madman all over you, McBride!
Danny McBride: Ooh! I fuckin' wish you'd cum on me right now! I fuckin' dare you to cum on me!
[Both men exchange masturbation gestures at each other]
Danny McBride: [Grabbing baseball bat between his legs] I'm gonna jack my dick so fuckin' hard in here...
James Franco: This, no more, man! All over your fuckin' face!
Danny McBride: ...All over the fuckin' floor, all over the fuckin' place! I'll cum everywhere!
James Franco: [Waving gun] No more fuckin' jerking off all over my house, McBride!

Emma Watson: [Holding an axe] Back the fuck up!
James Franco: I'm not gonna shoot Emma Watson!
Emma Watson: Give me everything you have to drink!
Seth Rogen: There are six of us! You cannot rob us!
Emma Watson: [waving an axe] I'm NOT fucking around!
[Emma leaves]
Danny McBride: Hermione just stole all of our shit. And Jay suggested that we rape her. I think the only reason he did that is because he knows he's about two minutes away from becoming the house bitch himself.

Jay Baruchel: [trying to perform an exorcism] The power of Christ compells you!
Jonah Hill: [possessed] Guess what? It's not that compelling.

Jay Baruchel: No, Jesus and God are the same. There's the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit!
James Franco: It's like Neapolitan ice cream.

Cast[edit]

Note: The entire cast plays fictional versions of themselves.

External links[edit]

Wikipedia
Wikipedia has an article about: