Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!
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[edit] Season 1
[edit] Dads [1.1]
Announcer: And now, the only married news team in the tri-county area, Jan and Wayne Skylar! With Special news correspondent, Dr. Steve Brule.
'Dr. Steve Brule: 'I'm not ready. I'm not ready yet.
Jan and Wayne Skylar (singing): Princess grew up little
Wayne Skylar: Back to you Steve.
Jan Skylar: Someone tell him we're live. Steve, back to you.
Wayne Skylar: Steve Brule!
Dr. Steve Brule: I'm sorry. Jan. I'm not ready. We don't have the fruit.
[edit] Friends [1.2]
--207.61.101.2 20:06, 9 January 2012 (UTC)=== Catifhsidfhsios [1.3] ===
[edit] Salame [1.4]
[edit] Chunky [1.5]
[edit] Slop [1.6]
Tragg (played by Fred Willard): Slop in the morning, slop in the evening, slop for supper time. Slop 'till ya' drop, kids!
[edit] Abstinence [1.7]
[edit] Anniversary [1.8]
Grum [Singing]: I like crackers and snacks, crackers and snacks, crackers and snacks. I like crackers and snacks, crackers and snacks, crackers and snaaaacks.
[edit] Hamburger [1.9]
[edit] Missing [1.10]
[edit] Season 2
[edit] Live in Vegas [2.1]
[edit] Vacation [2.2]
Eric: You look like a man I could be a best friend with
Tim: "It took a lotta guts"
[edit] Dad's Off [2.3]
[edit] Dolls [2.4]
- Palmer Scott:
- This is what I do,
- This is what I do.
- This is what I do, I sit on you.
[edit] Coma [2.5]
[edit] Forest [2.6]
Tairy Greene: Shhh... SHUT UP! It's time for snuggle...
[edit] Carol [2.7]
Mr. Henderson: "How many breakfasts did you have this morning?"
Carol: "Just the one, sir."
Mr. Henderson: "Looks like you had about 4 or 5, lookin like a burrito this morning."
Mr. Henderson: "Lar, whaddya say, poke or no poke?
Larry: "Definitely no poke."
Mr. Henderson: "Hear that Carol? No one wants to do ya, you're a waste."
[edit] Robin [2.8]
[edit] Innernette [2.9]
Jeff Goldblum (Advertising for the Jeffgoldbluman Group): It's a sizzler. Please watch.
Molly: This is magnificent, James.
David Cross (as James, creator of PussyDoodles): Why thank you, Molly.
Molly: Love what you've done with the colors-
James [covering Molly's mouth with his hand]: SHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh! Don't tell anyone. It's just my Pussy-Dooo'les.
[edit] Pepperoni [2.10]
[edit] Embarrassed [2.11]
Cinco Voiceover: If D'ump detects a Bear in the area, it just shuts down!
[Two young boys stare at their D'ump contraption for an estranged period of time. D'ump is entirely unresponsive.]
Boy: DAD! BEAR!
Eric Wareheim [pointing at a naked baby picture of Tim]: ..Hey, Who's this?
Tim Heidecker [Blushing a bit]: Yeah, well that's my mom. So-
Eric Wareheim: Yeah, but what's this. [Points at Tim's small wiener in the picture]
Tim Heidecker [Glowing Red]: ...That's my Penis.
Eric Wareheim: For one thing, Tim was an average sized man.
[edit] Season 3
[edit] Awesome Tour Live [3.1]
[edit] Resurrection [3.2]
[edit] Chan [3.3]
[edit] Rascals [3.4]
Eric Wareheim: You killed my RASCAL!
Tim Heidecker [Sobbing, turning away]: NO I DIDN'T!
[edit] Spagett [3.5]
[edit] C.O.R.B.S. [3.6]
[edit] Jim and Derrick [3.7]
- Jim Heckler: You've been bonged!
[edit] Jazz [3.8]
Eric: Because kids do not like jazz-
Tim: Nor should they
Tim: ONE TWO THREE FAYY
[edit] Muscles For Bones [3.9]
[edit] Larry [3.10]
(Jim opens fire on Mr. Henderson; Carol takes the bullet and slumps to the ground) Mr. Henderson: Ya blew it.
[edit] Brownies [3.11]
[edit] Season 4
[edit] Snow [4.1]
[edit] Balls [4.2]
[edit] Universe [3.3]
[edit] Road Trip [4.4]
Tim Heidecker [Driving van, talking via Phone]: Pack up your things, Buddy. We're goin' on a lil' road Trip.
Eric Wareheim [Smiling]: Road Trip.
Tim Heidecker: Mhm Heh heh, Road trip!
Eric Wareheim: Road Trip!
Tim Heidecker[Screaming]: ROAD TRIP!
Eric Wareheim: Roooaadd trip! [Packs his Suitcase] Reewdtraap! Reewdtraaap! Rooooaaaaddd Triiiiip!
[edit] Tommy [4.5]
Tim Heidecker: When Tommy said we were going to be working with THE Jessica Alba, my eyes lit up in the back of my head. I said, "J..Jesc'a Alba? I.. I'm a fan of Jesssc'a Alba."
[edit] Origins [4.6]
[edit] Presidents [4.7]
Tim Heidecker: Premium? More like CREAMULUM.
Tim Heidecker: Rick Wareheimer wears a straw hat at home in his house - he goes outside without the hat, but if you seem in his house he does wear a small straw hat.
[edit] Hair [4.8]
Tim Heidecker: I hope you don't wear that bigafric'n haaaaaii.
Eric Wareheim: Ihopeidon'twearthat bigafricannnhaaaiii?
Tim Heidecker: You SWEAR you're not gonna wear that big African hat?
Eric Wareheim (Leans close to Tim's ear) : I'M NOT GONNA WEAR MY BIG AFRICAN HAT TO YOUR PARTY!
Tim Heidecker: ...Alright, you're comin'.
[edit] Brothers Cinco [4.9]
i no clean. im not clean
"I KILLED MY WIFE!!! I KILLED MY WIFE!!!"
[edit] Tennis [4.10]
[edit] Eric Wareheim [3.12]
"Oh my god, I can't wait."
"I hate these old men."
"Reginald."
[edit] Casey Tatum
"Hamburgers and hot dogs too. I want to have a barbecue."
"My pep pep told me not to talk to strangers."
"I want to go on a horse and buggy ride."
[edit] Pat Dudley
"Can I get a Dudley Dip? Let's go for the double dip, we can do it!"
[edit] Carol
"That's my dream, sir."
"Get in shape."
[edit] Mr. Henderson
"You look good enough for a poke." "Ya blew it."
[edit] Ron Austar
"Think about your dad! What's your dad like! I wanna meet that dad!"
"Can't stop thinking about your dad. You're going to give me your dad's e-mail address. It just feels so right, children."
[edit] The Mahanahan Brothers
Steve Mahanahan: I love you Steve!
Mike Mahanahan: I love you Mike!
Steve Mahanahan: I love you Steve! I wish you the best!
Mike Mahanahan: ....I love you Mike.
Steve Mahanahan: Have ya' ever seen a child clown without shoes? It's DISGUSTING!
[edit] Krunk
"You ever seen a leg like this?"
[edit] The Great Gregory
"And now, the rabbit in the hat, circa 2004!"
[edit] James Quall
- [Impersonating Bill Cosby] "Kids say the darndest things like spaghetti and meatballs."
