Tropic Thunder is a 2008 film starring Ben Stiller, Jack Black, and Robert Downey Jr. as a group of prima donna actors making a Vietnam War film when their fed-up writer and director decide to abandon them in the middle of the jungle, forcing them to fight their way out.
- I know who I am! I'm a dude playing the dude, disguised as another dude!!!!
- [incensed at Flaming Dragon's demands] Okay Flaming Dragon, fuckface. First, take a big step back... and literally fuck your own face! I don't know what kind of pan-Pacific bullshit power play you're trying to pull here, but Asia, Jack, is my territory. So whatever you're thinking, you'd better think again! Otherwise I'm gonna have to head down there and I will rain down an ungodly fucking firestorm upon you! You're gonna have to call the fucking United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you. I am talking scorched-earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you! I will fuck you up! [hangs up; to assistant] Can you find out who that was?
- Damien: Crisis meeting? What does that mean, exactly? I mean, you know, are we in a crisis?
- Rob: He's the head of the studio. He's reaching out. We're 10,000 miles away. He just wants a little face-time.
- Damien: I know. It's just you said he called it a crisis meeting. So, you know...
- Rob: It's Les Grossman. He throws these words around. "Crisis," "explosion," "not rolling," "fired." These are just words.
- [The Tropic Thunder production crew have a video conference with studio exec Les Grossman]
- Les Grossman: Which one of you fuckfaces is Damien Cockburn?
- Damien Cockburn: Uh, that's me, sir. It's an honor to finally meet you. Get some face time.
- Grossman: And who here is the key grip? [the key grip raises his hand] You? You! Hit that director in the face, really fucking hard!
- Key Grip: [reluctantly walks over to Damien] Sorry, man. [punches him in the face]
- Grossman: This is all your fault, you Limey fuck! You shit the money-bed, my friend.
- [Lazarus and the gang are preparing their options for infiltrating the Flaming Dragon camp]
- Jeff Portnoy: So, what's the plan, man? You gonna talk Vietnamese to those dudes?
- Kirk Lazarus: No, no. Mandarin Chinese. What I can tell, it's what they're speaking down there.
- Portnoy: How the hell do you know Chinese?
- Lazarus: Land of Silk and Money with Gong Li. Second Globe, third Oscar. I prepped for that one by working in a Beijing textile factory for eight months.
- [Cody and Tayback are tied to a post in the Flaming Dragon compound]
- Cody: Dude, dude, what the hell is going on here? Where are we?
- Four-Leaf Tayback: I have no idea, I've never been outside the States.
- Cody: Wait what?! Are you fucking kidding me?! Did you make this whole goddamn thing up?! Dude you weren't even in the fucking service?!
- Tayback: Yes! Of course! Coast Guard!
- Cody: Coast Guard.
- Tayback: Sanitation Department.
- Cody: Oh my God! You're a fucking garbage man! Dammit! F.L. Tayback lies to me and the whole goddamn U.S. of A.
- Tayback: I wrote the book as a tribute! I'm a patriot.
- Cody: Yeah, you're the Milli Vanilli of patriots okay? You lied about fighting in the Vietnam War. It's like - It's like punching the American flag in the face goddammit! God, to think I believed you!
- Tayback: Writers lie all the time!
- Cody: [a guard bursts in] Can I be tied to another post please?
- Studio Executive Rob Slolom: Wow. 8 Oscars, 400 million dollars at the box office, and you saved Tugg Speedman's career.
- Les Grossman: I couldn't have done it without you.
- Slolom: Really?
- Grossman: No, dickhead. Of course I could. A nutless monkey could do your job. Now, go get drunk and take credit at all the parties.
- Slolom: I wouldn't do that.
- Grossman: Ah... joking.
- Slolom: Ah, there he is! Funny. You're a funny guy.
- Grossman: Yeah. But seriously, a nutless monkey could do your job.
- Ben Stiller - Tugg Speedman
- Robert Downey, Jr. - Kirk Lazarus
- Jack Black - Jeff Portnoy
- Brandon T. Jackson - Alpa Chino
- Jay Baruchel - Kevin Sandusky
- Nick Nolte - John "Four Leaf" Tayback
- Tom Cruise - Les Grossman
- Danny McBride - Cody Underwood
- Steve Coogan - Damien Cockburn
- Matthew McConaughey - Rick "Pecker" Peck
- Bill Hader - Rob Slolom