Tugs

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Tugs was a British children's programme which ran from 1988 to 1989, focusing on the lives and rivalries of two tugboat fleets, the Star Fleet and Z-Stacks. The series employed animation techniques similar to that of Thomas & Friends, and was redubbed and heavily edited for segments of Salty's Lighthouse.

Sunshine[edit]

Narrator/Captain Star: The 1920s. Bigg City Port was the biggest harbour in the world. It was a time of change and great opportunity. Nobody knew it better than the hard-working tugs, whose strength and big hearts made them popular with everybody from tramp steamers to ocean liners. Important jobs in the port often kept them working night and day. My tugs, the Star Fleet were no exception. I had three harbour tugs: OJ, a paddle-steamer. Warrior and Big Mac. A railway tug, Top Hat. One little switcher, Ten Cents. And Hercules, my ocean-going tug. They were a good crew, striving to be the best in the port. Not always succeeding, but proud of their work. I remember the day we got our first big break. It started like most, at dawn.

Ten Cents: Oi, whoa there!
Sunshine: Er, sorry sir...
Ten Cents: Yeah, well, watch it in future.
Sunshine: [coughs] Er, I was, er- I was lookin' for Ten Cents, sir?
Ten Cents: Heh. Well, you just found him!
Sunshine: AAH! I'm...Sunshine. Sir.
Ten Cents: Good to meet ya! Come on, let's get to work. The Star Fleet's docking an ocean liner this afternoon and if we get a move on, we'll be finished in time to watch.
Sunshine: Yes, sir!
Ten Cents: Now look, Sunshine, you only call Captain Star 'sir'. I'm just Ten Cents, okay?
Sunshine: Yes, si- Sure thing, Ten Cents.

Zorran: Well, look what the tide brought in! Izzy Gomez! Ha!
Izzy: Hey, you guys, I need a tow.
Zak: We don't accept bananas as payment. (chuckles)
Izzy: Hey, big shots, you towing the Duchess or something?
Zorran: What do you know about it, you South American heap of junk?!
Izzy: What I know? I sit waiting around for nobody to tow me. (Zorran starts, but is interrupted) The Duchess, she come in this morning, suddenly, everybody busy.
Zak: But Duchess isn't due this afternoon--
Zorran: SHUT UP, DINGHY BRAIN!! C'MON!! (Zak mumbles under his breath after he and Zorran leave Izzy.)
Izzy: Ay yi yi, What a day, I gotta get a tow and unload these bananas!

Sally Seaplane: Hello, Ten Cents. Who's your new friend?
Ten Cents: Sunshine, meet Sally, she's a seaplane.
Sunshine: Hel-ll-oo...(Whistling)...Sally!
Sally Seaplane: Thanks for the fuel, fellas.

Zorran: Now listen. Hercules is up the coast, out of the way. Big Mac is the strongest Star left. If we knock of him, we'll grab the liner contract.
Zip: Yeah, I know, but he's bigger than me---
Zorran: HE'S TOWING BARGES, DUMMY!! His routes are close to the mud banks, okay?!
Zip: Yeah, so?
Zorran: SO?! You stuff him onto one! OKAY?! STUPID?!
Zug: You've done it to yourself before, Zip, so you should soon catch on!

Narrator: Zip and Zug knew exactly where to find Big Mac. They were waiting for him.
Zug: (innocently) Need a hand, Big Mac ol' buddy?
Big Mac: Well, guys, I...
Zip: Well, it was a nice day, Big Mac... thought we'd try to... y'know, spend a little happiness!
Zug: Yeah, uh... like helping our mates!
Zip: Can't get past that sea one struggle...
Big Mac: Thanks, guys! Now I'll be back in good time for the Duchess!
Narrator: Big Mac had no idea the Z-Stacks were laying a trap for him!

Warrior: I hope Big Mac gets here soon, Top Hat. This ain't gonna be an easy one!
Top Hat: Yes, where is he? We'll never manage without Big Mac!
O.J: I'm worried about this! We need help to dock her... (sighs) C'mon, Big Mac! Where are you?

Narrator: The Star fleet were doing their best without Big Mac, and for a while, it seemed as though they were going to make it. But Zorran was still waiting for a chance.

Ten Cents: 'Ere, what's that? Who's there? Oh..... Izzy, it's you.
Izzy Gomez: Yeah, and about time too. Warrior promised me a tow.
Ten Cents: Yeah, well, I've gotta find Sunshine.
Izzy Gomez: Why? What's the matter?
Ten Cents: Disappeared. I s'pose he's ashamed after causing the accident with the Duchess.
Izzy Gomez: Sunshine didn't cause no accident, I saw it. Zorran pushed him.
Ten Cents: What? Are you sure?
Izzy Gomez: As sure as I know I got a lot of bananas and I need a tow.
Ten Cents: Yeah, I had a feeling those Z-Stacks were up to something! Hey, wait a minute, I must tell the others.
Izzy Gomez: Hey, what about my tow?

Captain Star: A few days ago we salvaged the tugboat Sunshine and he was taken to Lucky's Yard, and I'm glad to tell you that little damage has been done. As for the Star Fleet, we've learned a valuable lesson here.
O.J.: Yes, indeed we have...
Captain Star: A lesson about trust and friendship. I think we have Ten Cents to thank for that. As for the rest of us: About jumping to conclusions before knowing the truth. Now, I know you're all proud of being Star tugs, but the most important thing in my fleet, after hard work, is that my tugs always be true, honest and forgiving.
All: Aye aye!
Captain Star: If you'll look to port, I would like you to welcome our new recruit!
Warrior: Here he is!
Captain Star: Sunshine, I am proud to have you on my fleet!
Ten Cents: Welcome aboard, you look great, Sunshine.

Pirate[edit]

Narrator: I remember a time we all had a long hard day, but there was still one more job to do and as Ten Cents was the first one home, he got it. Engineering parts were needed to go to Scuttlebutt Pete the dredger, so they could start work first thing in the morning. I knew Ten Cents wasn't too happy, not because he was late; but because the Z-Stacks were on the same job.
Zug: Hey, look Zip! Look what the wind's blown in! Goody Two-Screws!
Ten Cents: Ahoy, Zug! Hey, where do you want this barge for the engineers?
Zug: Too late for today, mate!
Ten Cents: Too late? You don't need this till morning!
Zip: We might have!
Zug: No point now! It'll be dark soon!

Sea Rogue: Aha! This is look like what I'm after: Engineering parts.
Narrator: Unseen and unheard, the dark stranger hitched onto Ten Cents' barge and slipped silently into the mist. Zip and Zug were in for a surprise the very next morning.

Captain Star: What's going on out there?
Zug: Oh, er- Captain Star, sir- Uh- Ten Cents didn't deliver our barge last night!
Ten Cents: I did! You know I did!
Zug: You did not! It's not there! It's not- It's not there!
Captain Star: That's enough! I've already had a complaint from the client. On your way now.
Zip: Er- Right, sir!
Zug: Have a nice day, Ten Cents!
Captain Star: I don't expect slip-ups like this from you, Ten Cents. The owners claim their barge is missing, never delivered.
Ten Cents: That's not true, sir. It was my last tow of the day. It was!
Captain Star: Ten Cents, I have to take the client's word.
Captain Star: Sir, please, at least let me-
Captain Star: No. I'm putting you on dredger detail with Scuttlebutt Pete.
Ten Cents: Aw, no, sir! Not that! There's-
Captain Star: Ten Cents. Go.

Ten Cents: Hi, Scuttlebutt....
Scuttlebutt Pete: You look gloomy this morning, Ten Cents. What's up?
Ten Cents: Oh, nothing.
Scuttlebutt Pete: I hear you've lost a barge.
Ten Cents: Oh, you would be the first to know, wouldn't you?
Scuttlebutt Pete: It's no secret. Talk of the harbour.
Ten Cents: S'bound to be much you know.
Grampus: I've heard a rumour.
Ten Cents: Grampus, what do you know about it?
Grampus: Well, you've lost a barge.
Ten Cents: Don't waste time, do you, Scuttlebutt?
Sunshine: Aye, rumours are his speciality.
Scuttlebutt Pete: Was only tryin' to help. The more know about it, the sooner you'll be in the clear.
Ten Cents: I am in the clear! Get that clear!
Zebedee: Naughty, naughty! Temper, temper!
Zak: Lose his stack if it wasn't screwed on!
Ten Cents: Oh, one of these days!

Ten Cents: I think I heard something.
Sea Rogue: I'm not gonna make it. Nothing in sight! The tug fleets have rumbled me...
Ten Cents: Heed to, Sea Rogue!
Sea Rogue: What the-?!
Ten Cents: You're cornered, you can't escape!
Sea Rogue: I'm not trying to!
Sunshine:Well done, Ten Cents! He's the Pirate, alright!
Sea Rogue: No, I'm not a real Pirate!
Grampus: We know you're not.
Sunshine: Grampus told us everything.
Ten Cents: He saw you and those two green-eyed things.
Sea Rogue: Did you see the Old Man there too?
Ten Cents: Everything.
Sea Rogue: We must save him. He's my Uncle! They're holding him to ransom, to make me steal barges. Even if I get one more, they might still sink him.
Ten Cents: Help us to help you. And we'll sink them.
Sea Rogue: Sure, anything you say. (He hears tugs coming)Who's that?!
Ten Cents: Quick, let's hide!
Sea Rogue: This way!

Ten Cents: Zip and Zug? They're stupid enough to go in the warehouse.
Sea Rogue: They'll get no quarter if they do.
Sunshine: Ahhh, serve 'em right!
Ten Cents: That gives me an idea. Grampus, go to the warehouse entrance. If the villains leave the shed, save the Old Man. Now let's see what's going on....

Ten Cents: Ah, that's what I call good, nice work! You're heading up-river, Sea Rouge?
Sea Rogue: Yeah. Thanks, Ten Cents.
Ten Cents: Ah, that's all right. The least I could do.
Sea Rogue: Right then, we'd better move. Pirates are not welcome here.
Grampus: Nonsense, you're no pirate!
Sea Rogue: Thank you all for your help.
Sea Rogue's Uncle: Yes, thanks for everything.
Sea Rogue: Come on, old man, let's get you home.
Sea Rogue's Uncle: Oh, that'll be nice...

Warrior[edit]

Big Boulder foreman: Hey, Warrior! What a promotion! Great to see you off garbage detail!
Warrior: Thanks! Big Mac and me'll make a great team. We'll shift this lot quicker than the Z-Stacks.
Big Boulder foreman: I don't doubt it, Warrior. But no accidents, eh? Give Big Mac a break.
Warrior: Me? I won't have no accidents, promise! [sets off with barge]
Big Boulder foreman: Right, well, good luck, Warrior! And remember, be careful!
Warrior: [stops] What? [is hit by his own barge] Oops! 'Course I'm careful!
Big Boulder foreman: I hope that isn't a bad start to the day for you!
Warrior: I'll do me best, guv'nor!

Sunshine: What're you doin'?
Warrior: Oh, you noticed. No more garbage for me, at least for now. Captain Star's put me on the rock contract for the new dock foundations. Just what was to be expected, really, being such a powerful tug and all that. Well, gotta go now. Bye!
Pearl and Sunshine: Congratulations, Warrior! [Warrior's barge bumps Little Ditcher spinning him around]
Little Ditcher: Oh! Dear me!
Sunshine: Little Ditcher, are- Are you all right?
Little Ditcher: I'm di-iz-zy!
Sunshine: You gotta laugh though. Pearl, look! He's gonna become the world's first floating merry-go-round!
Little Ditcher: [sarcastically] Oh, aye, thanks a lot, Warrior.

Ten Cents: Come on, Zip! Zug, help me out!
Zug: I'll have to go ask Captain Zero. It's your salvage.
Ten Cents: Never mind salvage! Tugs should help each other!
Coast Guard: I'll get help! I'll get Big Mac!
Top Hat: Ten Cents, you alright? Why aren't those two idiots helping you?
Ten Cents: Zip and Zug? They're waiting for me to become a pile of junk!

Big Mac: [arrives to help] Need a hand here, fellas? Ah, Warrior, looks like you've got it under control.
Ten Cents: Oh, couldn't have lasted this long without him!
Warrior: Mighty Mo, Scuttlebutt, take a strain on these ropes.
Scuttlebutt Pete: Aye aye, Guv'nor.
Mighty Mo: Good luck, Warrior!
Narrator: The hulk of Izzy Gomez, full of bananas, was at last focred back off the rocks by the three Star tugs.
Coast Guard and Grampus: You've done it!
Big Mac: I reckon this makes up for sinking my barge, Warrior.
Ten Cents: I reckon it makes up for everything.

Old Rusty: [After a sleeping Warrior bumps into him] Ow.
Warrior:: [wakes up] You stupid, old, rust tub! Why don't you look where you're going?
Old Rusty: [chuckling] What do you mean, where am I going? I've been anchored off here for 2 years!
Warrior: Oh. Well--er--yes--Sorry. It's been a long day. Must've dozed off.
Old Rusty: [chuckles] Oh, clumsy old tug, that Warrior. But it wouldn't half be boring without him.

Trapped[edit]

Narrator: An alligator tug called Billy Shoepack worked up river, delivering essentials like gasoline, ropes, fuses and dynamite from Mittsfield to the logging camps. Why an alligator tug? Well, you can see, he's just as low in the water. And in Billy's case, just as dangerous.
O.J.: Why, look who's here! It's Shoepack, the alligator tug!
Billy: Hey, Star Tugs! Don't you wish you carried somethin' more excitin' than wood?
Big Mac: No thanks. Just get that stuff away from here, you're welcome to it.
Billy: Dynamite's excitin' stuff! Makes lovely big bangs! Pretty harmless if you know how to handle it, like I do.
O.J.: You're not unloading next to us, are you?
Billy: 'Fraid so, O.J.. Don't worry, if it goes up, we all go up! [laughing]
Big Mac: Eh?!
Billy: No, it's safe. Only jokin'.
Big Mac: You better be...

Zug: It- It- It's blocked the river!
Zorran: Course it's blocked the river, you idiot!
Zug:: I'm trapped! This side, what can I do?
Zorran: Wait here and claim salvage. [chuckles]
Zug: But...help could be ages getting here!
Zorran: You've got company. All the Stars are on your side. I've had plenty of time to see who was there, haven't I? That means Z-Stacks have got all the harbour to ourselves, haven't we? Captain Zero will be pleased!
Zug: [now scared] D-D-D-Don't leave me here!
Zorran: Sorry, Zug. We'll have to manage without you!

O.J.: Quite a mess, in't it? Captain Star'll go mad!
Top Hat: Well, I did tell him, O.J. Working with Z-Stacks just doesn't work.
Zug: It- It- It's not my fault! Ask Zorran!
Big Mac: One of Zorran's little schemes, aye? I thought as much...
O.J.: Never mind that. Let's just get out of here.
Top Hat: Now for the voice of experience...
O.J.: Tell you what: We'll make a battering ram. Lash up three or four barges.
Top Hat: Yeah...
O.J.: Well, they're heavy with logs already! Then we'll get behind them and ram the tramper!
Zug: Great, O.J.! Yeah!
Big Mac: Might work... Well, let's try it.

Zorran: I wouldn't try that little fella on a tramper that size, it might crush him! [cackling]
Ten Cents: Oi! Zorran? Where's the salvage team? We can't do this on our own! Oi, come back here!
Little Ditcher: I'll do the best I can, Ten Cents.
Ten Cents: Eh? Oh, yeah, of course. Come on, Little Ditcher, you can do it...
Narrator: Ten Cents suspected that Zorran had only pretended to alert a salvage crew. He wanted to keep the Stars trapped up river.

Sunshine: Hey, Zug! Doesn't Zorran look funny, eh? Stuck up on those rocks!
Zug: Well, er- I suppose...
Zorran: Stop laughin'! Stop laughin', it's not funny!
Sunshine: Well, we think it is! Don't we, Zug?
Zug: Yeah. I mean, no....
O.J.: Alright, joke's over. Back and pick up our barges. Problem solved.
Billy: Thanks to me, you didn't believe I'm an expert, did you?
Sunshine: Aye, true.
Top Hat: Well, there was an element of luck, I suspect, but I must say, I am quite impressed.
Billy: Well, I can't play any more games with you. I've got real work to do.
Sunshine: Bye, Billy!
Narrator: For once in his life, Shoepack had done a great job.
Zorran: Never mind him. What about me?!
Ten Cents: In trouble, Zorran? Looks like you got crushed instead of Little Ditcher!

Ghosts[edit]

Narrator: The Bigg City Port was in the grips of winter. It had come earlier than expected, and with it came the fog. None of us like fog, but in those days, it was worse: Tugs had no radio and no radar. Long periods of fog had a way of conjuring up old sea stories and superstitions among the boats of the harbour. I remember Big Mac returned home quite late. He'd been working all day with Scuttlebutt Pete who'd been telling him old sea stories, of strange things that happened when fog was around. As he passed derelict buildings, they seemed to take on ghostly shapes. They groaned and creaked as if they were alive. As Big Mac got close to an old warehouse, he heard a whisper which grew louder....

Narrator: He was soon back at the Star Dock....
Top Hat: Slow down! You know better than to travel in fog at that rate of knots!
OJ: You alright? You look as if you've seen a ghost.
Big Mac: Well.... Well, I... I saw something.... No, I can't tell you, you'd only laugh...
Top Hat: Oh, come on, we weren't even serious.
Big Mac: Well... I have seen ghosts!
Top Hat: What?! You've seen what?
Big Mac: Ghosts! You know Scuttlebutt's story of those tugs that sank in the great storm of 1912.
Warrior: And they come back to get you....
Ten Cents: Oh, Big Mac... You're not takin' Scuttlebutt's story for real, are you?
Big Mac: Aye, well I'm not goin' out there again 'til the fog lifts.
Top Hat: Well I never thought I'd hear that from a harbour tug!
Sunshine: Well, he- He could have seen something.... It could be ghosts! You never know.
Top Hat: Don't be ridiculous. Really...

Narrator: Izzy Gomez, the old tramper, had been trying all day to get a cheap town into port. So, he decided to sneak in for free, with the help of the fog.
Zorran: 'Ello, 'ello! Ha! You never learn, do you, Izzy? Eh? Crime doesn't pay, you know!
Izzy Gomez: I don't know what you talk about....
Zorran: Slipping into port on your own, without a tow? Well, I hope you run aground! I'll be there, you'll be my salvage!
Izzy Gomez: Hey, I no salvage! Okay. Fifty most I give you for a tow.
Zorran: Eh?! Get lost! Not for five hundred! You'll be worth more as scrap! [leaves]
Izzy Gomez: Well, I ask him if I could get a tow. I did not get a tow, so.... [pulls up anchor]
Zorran: Heh. That Izzy. I'll get him one day! Still, there's bound to be a few distress calls today, eh? Suckers always pay double to get 'em out of trouble.

Izzy Gomez: Hey! You watch where you going! ....Why they don't answer? Is funny.... Ay carumba, is ghosts! Oh, don't take me, I got a tow already, he's on his way, please don't take me!
Narrator: The Ghost Tugs slipped silently into the fog. Zorran was so shaken, he sailed around and met Izzy again.
Zorran: Ahh! Oh, er, it's you... Heh... Not got far, have you?
Izzy Gomez: Amigo, give me a tow, I do what you want, any price you say!
Zorran: Er, no Izzy, my old friend, er- I'll tow you in for free, I need some company getting back to port. Heh heh...

Scuttlebutt Pete: Oi! You stupid tug! You sailed right between us! You scared the daylights out of us altogether!
O.J.: Thought I was a ghost tug, did you?
Scuttlebutt Pete: Don't joke about those things!
O.J.: Not seeing things, are you? You're begining to believe those tales you tell.
Scuttlebutt Pete: Well, take care, O.J!
O.J.: Cheerio! [stops as the ghost fleet passes before him] Now I'm seeing things.... They're there! That's the ghost tugs! Right before my eyes. Ooooh, I hope they don't see me...

Narrator: Ten Cents and Sunshine were taking fuel out to Lillie Lightship.
Sunshine: Ohhh, how're we gonna find her in this?
Ten Cents: O.J taught me to wiggle, to keep the breeze on the same cheek all the time. That way we'll beat the currents, sail in the right direction. She can't be too far away now.
Sunshine: What's that? Sounds like ice breaking. It can't be, can it? I'm frightened, Ten Cents, what do we do?!
Ten Cents: How should I know? It's weird! [the ghost fleet appear in front of them] Look!
Sunshine: Ohhh..... I think our number's up... It is! They've come to get us!

Narrator: An early sun had burned off the fog, but Top Hat was still asleep where he'd tied up.
Top Hat: No! Go away, ghosts! No, don't hurt me! Please! Plea- Oh, Grampus...
Grampus: What are you doing here, Top Hat? What's this about ghosts?
Top Hat: Did I say 'ghosts'? I must've been dreaming. I lost my bearings in the fog and moored here for the night....
Grampus: [chuckling] Here? That is funny.
Top Hat: What's so funny?
Grampus: You're only 500 yards away from the Star Tugs Pier! It's there! Look!
Top Hat: Listen everybody, I've seen Ghost Tugs for myself!
O.J: We've all seen them. Ten Cents and Sunshine have seen a galleon too.
Top Hat: But these were ghosts, I assure you! I saw them! Really! Silent! Phantoms of the sea!
Ten Cents: So, you admit ghosts exist now, Top Hat?
Hercules: Ghosts? What's that about, m'dears, hmm?
Big Mac: Ghostly White Tugs!
Ten Cents: Yeah. White Tugs, and a big galleon!
Sunshine: And Neptune, I think.
Warrior: I saw them too!
Hercules: You're all going crazy! Seeing things that aren't there! [laughs]
Sunshine: I'm not sure. I don't know what I saw now....
Hercules: Well, I'll tell you: They're the White Fleet, down here from Northern waters on a trail of an iceberg. These Tugs sail, at times, with engines off, listening for cracking ice. There was a wooden galleon frozen in this iceberg which must have melted in our warmer water. That's why you saw the old vessel bob up to the surface. I doubt you saw Neptune, Sunshine, he's for fairy tales. You let the fog get to you, m'dears! [laughs]
Ten Cents: Hercules, behind you!
Hercules: Well there's your ghostly galleon.
Narrator: They watched with embarrassment as Burke and Blair towed away the rotting galleon. Later on, Star Tugs found they could laugh about it. But they never forgot the fog that nearly sent them crazy.

High Winds[edit]

Narrator: Johnny Cuba had dropped anchor, waiting 'til he wasn't seen.
Johnny Cuba: Nobody in sight. That's what I like. Time to slip in closer to port and, er....meet my business pals...
Narrator: But Johnny Cuba's idea of a 'business pal' was, like himself, a gangster.
Coastguard: Ahoy there! Hold to! Customs inspection! You are within port limits! I'm coming aboard! Hey! Watch out! What're you doing?! [roughly pushed onto nearby rocks]
Johnny Cuba: Sorry, mate! The wind must've blown me off course! [cackling]

Zebedee: I don't like it here. It's out of bounds to shipping...
Johnny Cuba: Too bad. Now I need coal, right away! And be quick about it or I'll break yer stack!
Zebedee: You mean steal it?!
Johnny Cuba: Did I say steal? Just get it when nobody's lookin'!
Zebedee: Yes sir... Right away, sir...
Johnny Cuba: And don't try anythin' fancy! Or you'll find yourself at the bottom of the harbour with cement on your hull! [cackles]
Narrator: Zebedee was now in a terrible situation. Johnny Cuba would sink him if he didn't help him. And because of something that happened years ago between those two, he knew Captain Zero would sink him if he did. So, he couldn't go and tell the Captain, could he? While Zebedee was trying to work this out, he saw the two Star switchers out in the bay struggling with Scuttlebutt Pete.
Scuttlebutt Pete: Come on, you two! Get sorted out or you won't get me home before the storm breaks!
Sunshine: I cannot hold ya, man!
Ten Cents: We're doin' our best!
Scuttlebutt Pete: Do better than that! You've got to!
Ten Cents: I can't, the wind's too strong!
Sunshine: What're we gonna do?!
Ten Cents: If only I could fix my moor line! Oi! Zebedee! Give us a hand!
Zebedee: Sorry, can't stop! Important job to do.
Ten Cents: Just hold him steady while I get another line aboard, that's all!
Zebedee: Why should I?
Ten Cents: Well, 'cos we're in trouble, that's why!
Sunshine: And you owe us one for the barge!
Zebedee: Alright, just this once, but don't tell Captain Zero!
Ten Cents: That's it... Thanks, Zebedee.
Sunshine: Aye, that's just what we needed.
Zebedee: And not a word, Scuttlebutt!
Scuttlebutt Pete: Me? I never gossip! Never!
Zebedee: That'll be the day.

Top Hat: That's odd. I thought I was the only one stuck with coal deliveries today. I wonder what's he up to? I think I'd better check with Captain Star...

Warrior: Hey! Big Mac! I've just heard from Sally Seaplane that Hercules has got the Princess Alice in tow.
Big Mac: Mmm, sounds serious.
Warrior: Yeah, been damaged at sea.
Big Mac: Not another of your disasters, Warrior?
Warrior: Not me! Honest!
Big Mac: [laughs] I was joking! Come on, we'll tell O.J., then go out and bring her in.
Warrior: Yeah. Anything to help the Princess Alice!

Captain Star: Docking a liner can be a hazardous business for tugs, especially with cross currents and the danger of this high wind. Usually the liner can assist, but the Princess Alice couldn't do much due to the damage to her rudder. With all their expertise and experience, the Star tug team were finding her very difficult to keep under their control...
Hercules: What's happening back there? Come on, Stars!
Big Mac: She's not responding, Hercules! The wind's too strong!
Ten Cents: I can't hold on much longer!
Hercules: Full power, everybody!
Warrior: I'm pulling full-steam, can't do no more!
O.J.: We need another tug! Just one more'd do it!
Fire Tug: Sorry, I can't help! I'm needed in case of fire!
O.J.: Come on, lads, hold it!
Sunshine: Ohhhh, look out, I'm in trouble!
O.J.: Come on, somebody!
Ten Cents: We're losin' it! We'll be crushed between ship and quayside!
Zebedee: This is two you owe me, switchers!
Ten Cents: Zebedee! Aw, thanks, just in time! You're a lifesaver!
O.J.: Thank you, Zebedee! She's under control again!
Warrior: Got her, O.J.!
Sunshine: Aw hey, thanks, Zebedee.
Zebedee: Zero'll have my boiler for this...

Johnny Cuba: Right, there's a few other little things I want you to do for me before we go. Now listen, this is what I-
Zebedee: Oh! Uh-oh, it's Hercules!
Hercules: Hello, what's going on here? Oh, yes, Zebedee! And where are you taking our friend, the well-known Johnny Cuba, eh?
Zebedee: Oh. Well- I, um-
Johnny Cuba: What's it to you, Star?
Hercules: We know you, Johnny Cuba. Up to no good. We'll hand him over to the authorities, Zebedee, they may like to have a word with him.
Johnny Cuba: No, ya don't! [fires up his engine]
Zebedee: Wait a minute!
Narrator: The gangster tried to back out, but collided with Zebedee.
Zebedee: You'll not go anywhere!
Narrator: Just to make sure, Zebedee rammed into Johnny Cuba, trapping him against the quayside.
Hercules: Well done, Zebedee, m'dear! Come on, let's take him in.
Johnny Cuba: I'll break your stack for this one! THEY CAN'T HOLD JOHNNY CUBA!

Ten Cents: Look who's here! The Z-Stacks' hero!
Sunshine: Hiya, Zebedee! Congratulations.
Zebedee: Yeah... Not bad, was it?
Ten Cents: You were great.
Zebedee: Captain Zero's over the moon now Johnny Cuba can't get at him.
Ten Cents: Yeah. Thanks for helping us with Scuttlebutt Pete.
Zebedee: Er, just forget about that, will you? Captain Zero wouldn't be pleased to hear about that....
Ten Cents and Sunshine: Oh dear...
Zebedee: Yeah, nor Zorran neither.
Sunshine: We won't tell, don't you worry, kiddo.
Zebedee: You better not, I've had enough troubles today.... Well, I'll see you fellas, eh?
Ten Cents: Oh, er, Zebedee... If you ever think of leaving the Z-Stacks...
Zebedee: What? You crazy? Today was today, okay?!
Ten Cents: Oh. Yeah, well... Just a thought.
Zebedee: Yeah? Well, you think too much...
Captain Star: After that day, things continued much as they were. But Zebedee showed that everyone must have a good streak in them somewhere. Even Z-Stacks.

Jinxed[edit]

Narrator: One night out at sea, Ten Cents and Sunshine spotted a tug they'd never seen before. His name was Boomer. He was just drifting. Realising he could be in trouble, they approached him cautiously. His engine was stopped, maybe even broken down. A tow-line drooped in the water and his rigging was scrappy. No flag flapped in the breeze. It seemed no one owned him.
Boomer: Keep away. Just leave me alone. Please!
Ten Cents: Look, we can't. You're drifting in busy sea lanes, that's dangerous.
Boomer: Even better.
Sunshine: Yep, we'll have to take you in.
Boomer: Just leave me be, I don't want any help.
Sunshine: Why? Why not?
Boomer: Because, well- Because I'm a jinx. I'm bad luck, nobody wants a jinx.
Ten Cents: Rubbish, there's no such thing as a jinx.
Boomer: Oh, isn't there? You'll soon find out! Stand off me!
Ten Cents: Look, jinx or not, we have to take you in. Shipping lanes have to be kept clear!
Sunshine: Aye, Captain Star'll do something.
Boomer: No, he won't. Nobody can. Jinxes just happen. I just shouldn't have been a tug...
Sunshine: Er... Have you always been like this?
Boomer: My name used to be Captain Harry. Life was good then in those days. Then I was sold, they painted out my name and called me Boomer. Ever since then, nothing but trouble.

Captain Star: Who's he, Ten Cents?
Ten Cents: Oh, it's Boomer. We found him drifting out in the estuary.
Captain Star: Oh, what's up?
Ten Cents: He says, er- He says his engine's not working.
Sunshine: You'll be all right now, son....
Captain Star: I see. Sunshine, go pick up the coal barge and we'll try starting him up.
Sunshine: Yes...(whistles) sir.

Ten Cents: 'Ere, I think Boomer's taking on water.
Sunshine: Hey, Boomer, what's so funny?
Boomer: I'm sinking! Just what I wanted!
Ten Cents: What? Look, we're gonna make it to Lucky's, even if I sink with you.
Boomer: Cut free, cut free! I'm sinking, save yourselves! [stops at the bottom] Huh?
Sunshine: Oh well, that's lucky! He's come to rest on that old sunken garbage barge!
Ten Cents: Look, you stay here. I'll go get a rescue crane....
Sunshine: Hey, maybe the jinx has stopped now, eh? You're still afloat.
Boomer: No, it hasn't. It's still here, alright. I wanted to sink but instead I land right on top of an obstacle that doesn't let me!

Mighty Mo: Be sure to get that barge under Boomer as soon as you can. He's heavy, and I don't want to hold him too long!

Narrator: That was enough for Captain Zero. He got rid of the unhappy Boomer. Well, I took him back intending to use him for simple jobs where nothing could go wrong.
Zak: See you, Boomer! If you need any help sinking, let me know.

Sunshine: I've just been thinkin'...
Ten Cents: Yeah, thinkin' what?
Sunshine: I've just been thinkin' that you might jinx Boomer.
Ten Cents: No, I don't!
Sunshine: You do.
Ten Cents: How?
Sunshine: Look, every time he's workin' and we've gone past, you've sounded your hooter.
Ten Cents: So? It's called bein' friendly.
Sunshine: Not if it causes an accident, and it always does. Just think: The ammunition barge, Mighty Mo, the rope, the engine...
Ten Cents: Th- Wel- That's coincidence, not jinxed!
Sunshine: Call it anything you like, but it seems to 'coincidence' Boomer when you do it.
Ten Cents: Yeah? Well, I'm going to go and speak to Boomer about it. You're coming?

Captain Star: Right, switchers, you can show Boomer where the schooner is. We have a contract to tow her out to sea. I reckon Boomer can do that, seeing there's no engines to break down, to catch fire, no crane horses to snap, no ammunition to explode and no buoys to sink. Just plain sail. And if Boomer breaks down, then the sail can more likely tow him!
Boomer: Very droll, sir, very droll.
Ten Cents: Look, come on, before he changes his mind.

Ten Cents: Boomer, what's happened?
Boomer: Lightning, that's what happened. But that fire object didn't believe me. He thought I was going too fast and a spark flew out of my stack, but it's not true. Daghh! Anyway, I can't be bother to argue anymore.
Ten Cents: You must have done something....
Boomer: I did nothing!
O.J: Lightning? Well, it's possible, I suppose. But on such a nice day as this?
Big Mac: Anything's possible with Boomer, he really is jinxed.
Narrator: After the schooner incident, I decided there was only one thing for it: I had Sunshine take Boomer to Lucky's Yard with strict instructions that he was never to be used as a tug ever again, no matter what.

Boomer: Top o' the morning, Ten Cents! Morning, Sunshine!
Sunshine: Is that really you, Boomer?
Boomer: Indeed it is!
Ten Cents: Well... A houseboat.... Don't you feel...sort of silly?
Boomer: Not one bit! Not at all! It's what I always wanted to be! Now hurry up, you two, I want to get upriver to my new mooring.
Narrator: When they found it, it was a tree-lined bank and it was clearly marked 'Dun Tuggin.

Narrator: For Ten Cents and Sunshine, it was back to work as usual. But for Boomer: well he'd found his ideal place in the world. And he was very happy there, because the jinx had gone.

Quarantine[edit]

Top Hat: Ugh, if the sun gets any stronger today, my varnish will bubble for certain.
O.J: The longest heatwave I can remember.
Top Hat: You'd go back to the Ice Age, O.J, by the sound of your engine.

Captain Star: 6:30's briefing time.
Ten Cents: Sorry, Cap'n. We've been at the water docks.
Captain Star: You know the scrap yard dealers are looking for useless tugs, don't you? Now next time you're late, I'll ask them what they offer for a couple of switchers, understand?!
Ten Cents: Yes, Cap'n, but-
Captain Star: Ten Cents, O.J's engine's playing up. He's at the fire station picking up your barge.
Ten Cents: Huh?
Captain Star: Now if he's alright, join the others waiting for schooners and trampers getting clearance from quarantine.
Ten Cents: Understand, Cap'n!
Captain Star: One for you, Sunshine: Bring in the tramper, Nantucket.
Sunshine: Old Dirtbucket...
Captain Star: No wisecracks, just get moving!
Sunshine: He wouldn't really sell us for scrap, would he...?
Ten Cents Not unless we were late every day...

Sunshine: Aw no, Ten Cents, what happened?
Ten Cents: Well, don't gawp! Go and get the emergency services, fast as you can!
Sunshine: Er, right!
Narrator: Burke and Blair has a second go at me. Hah, they never give up.
Blair: Ah, Captain Star.
Captain Star: What?!
Blair: About O.J..... That ancient engine of his is finished and so is he. Isn't he, Mr Burke?
Burke: We don't sit around our breakers' yard watching our staff turning old boats into scrap, do we, Mr Blair?
Blair: Always on the lookout for who's next to go, that's our business, and O.J.'s top of our list.

Ten Cents: Ah, good. Here comes the Coast Guard.
Coastguard: If you're waiting for clearance on the schooners, forget it. They're quarantined.
Top Hat: Oh no...
Zorran: What?!
'Coastguard: Suspected microbonic plague aboard. Sorry, fellas.
Ten Cents: Captain Star will be pleased, I don't think.
O.J: To think how I flogged my engine to get here fast.
Top Hat: And all for no purpose, it turns out.
Zorran: Well, I think I'll go take a look-see anyway.
Ten Cents: You're not going back then?
Zorran: Err, Zug maybe. I'll mosey around here, see if there's a breeze out in the estuary.
Zug: Don't you need me, Zorran?
Zorran: Push off, Zug.
Zug: Oh... Okay, Zorran.
Ten Cents: He's up to something. I'd like to know what. You know, I never trusted that Zorran.
Top Hat Ah, but...Sunshine's gone out to bring in a tramper.
O.J: Ah, Zorran will know about it for sure.
Ten Cents: He wouldn't try and take it off him, would he?
Top Hat: Well, of course the villain would. Who'd see him do it out there?
O.J: Right then! Ten Cents, you and I'll go see fair play.
Ten Cents: Aye-aye, sir!
Top Hat: Oh dear, I don't know.... I do believe they see themselves as Sir Francis Drake.

Captain Star: Broken down again?!
Ten Cents: He put on max speed, Cap'n, to save me from quarantine!
O.J.: My engine's only good for scrap, Captain, we all know that.
Captain Star: You're right there. And I'm afraid, O.J., for you it means- ...What's that about quarantine, Ten Cents?
Ten Cents: Well if it hadn't been for O.J., I could've been in quarantine by now. Out of action for forty days!
Sunshine: Aye, he saved Ten Cents, Cap'n, it's true.
O.J.: Don't go on about it.
Captain Star: Yes, don't, you'll have me in tears.
Ten Cents: But honestly, Cap'n, you've gotta believe us, we're only reporting the facts!
Captain Star: Very commendable, but it's one side of the facts, isn't it?
Burke: Ahoy, Captain Star, sir! Can we offer our services?
Blair: We happened to see the subject of our previous visit being towed in.
Burke: Old O.J., in a worse state than ever, wouldn't you say, Mr Blair?
Blair: Finished, you could say. For a quick sale, let's say 150?
Ten Cents: That's not for O.J.! Captain, you can't sell him!
Captain Star: I'm not going to, he's not for sale, now go!
Burke: Ah well, if that's your attitude, you fork out for engine and refit, see if we care.
Captain Star: Ten Cents, tow O.J. to Lucky's Yard. New engine, complete refit!
Ten Cents: Yes sir, Captain Star, sir! Yeah, right, at once, sir!
O.J.: Thanks, Captain! I'll see you never regret it.
Captain Star: Sunshine, he doesn't need your help. We've got to make money to pay for this! Now, er....get on with your garbage collecting, right away!
Sunshine: Yes, Captain Star, sir! At once, sir!
Coastguard: (Toots) Hey! Hey! Nantucket, I left you with your quarantine flags up! Where are they, eh? Eh? You're breaking the law, you're under arrest. Get those flags up again and fast.
Zorran: What's this? I didn't know he was quarantined, officer! No flags were flying at all, as you just saw!
Coastguard: Well that's your bad luck, Zorran. Whether you knew or not makes no difference. You're infected!
Zorran: But I'm innocent! I'm completely innocent, I-
Coastguard: Get quarantine flags up, right now, Zorran!
Zorran: You're a real villain, Dirtbucket, know that?
Nantucket: I wanted to get into port, didn't I?!
Zorran: Yeah, and now I might get microbonic plague.
Blair: Mr Burke, I think there might be some spots on Zorran...
Burke: I think you're right, Mr Blair. We'll come back and check for rust later.

Up River[edit]

Big Mac: Take it easy, Sunshine!
Sunshine: Hey, this is a nasty jam, Big Mac.
Big Mac: Aye, could sink you. Logs don't care about no one.
Sunshine: Never thought there'd be this much to log. Ah!
Big Mac: It's a tricky job. Logs have got to be roped just right: Not slack, but not too tight.
Sunshine: ....Isn't tighter the better?
Big Mac: Ah, you'd think so, but too tight creates friction as they bob up and down and that creates heat and they can catch fire.
Sunshine: Huh?
Big Mac: And that'll happen here if we can't get this jam shifted!
Sunshine: Aye. Wet logs catchin' fire... I could never get used to that.
Big Mac: Aye, always surprises me. Well, we'll have to keep 'bout it.

Ten Cents: Oi, Puffa, you in trouble?
Puffa: No, you are, Ten Cents! Sunshine's trapped in a log jam!
Ten Cents: OH! Where?!
Puffa: The top of the lake!
Ten Cents: Oh, right! I'm on my way! Thanks!
Puffa: Good luck, our kid! You'll need it!

Big Mac: Can't shift her, Sunshine, no matter what I do.
Sunshine: [coughs] Don't worry, I'm okay. The smoke from me stack seems a bit heavy though.
Big Mac: I'm afraid that smoke's not coming from your stack.
Sunshine: No, I, er- I didn't think it actually was.
Big Mac: I've gotta get you out of there, fast!
Sunshine: How long d'you think it'll be before it bursts into flames?
Big Mac: Never timed it!

Billy Shoepack: 'Ello!
Ten Cents: Aw, no! It's Billy Shoepack with his dynamite!
Sunshine: Oh, tell him to clear off, Ten Cents. Flames and dynamite don't mix!

Sunshine: That sounds like Puffa. Great! Send him to Uptown, he's faster than the current'll carry the logs.
Ten Cents: You're right, Sunshine, he'll get there first! Oi, Puffa! Warn Uptown that the log dam is broken, the logs are on their way, it's an emergency!
Puffa: Will do, but what can they do about it?
Ten Cents: O.J.'s at Uptown, tell him!
Puffa: Right. On my way, Ten Cents! A race against time! I'LL BEAT 'EM!
Ten Cents: Look, don't stop for anything!

O.J.: Which factory did you say, Warrior?
Warrior: Captain Star said "take Little Ditcher to the demolition factory."
O.J.: He meant the factory that's due for demolition. Hey, what's that? Puffa, what's up?
Puffa: A mass of logs, on their way from the lake! Get downriver, fast! I've gonna get to Uptown Station to warm them!
Top Hat: Good heavens! In this current, they'll wreck the whole quayside and us as well!
Warrior: Well then, let's stop 'em, right here.
O.J.: Be sensible, Warrior. How?!
Warrior: Well, I'll stick Little Ditcher across the river, he'll put his spikes down on the riverbed, then he won't move.
Little Ditcher: No, I'll get smashed to bits instead!

High Tide[edit]

Top Hat: You know, it never fails to amaze me. Every day I see something new. Today it's the sight of a floating sack of coal, no less! [laughing]
Big Mac: If you'd been shipping coal, you'd be dirty!
Top Hat: (sniffing Big Mac for a second) Well, at least you don't smell, that's something. (Laughs mockingly with the others)
Big Mac: Look here, Top Hat-!
Warrior: Course he don't smell, Top Hat. Coal don't have a smell!
Top Hat: I know it doesn't, Warrior, but he could get a hose down before coming to join us. We Star tugs have a reputation to keep up! Even you, Warrior, after a day in the garbage yards, don't look too scruffy!
Big Mac: All you worry about is keeping that piece of glass in your eye clean!
Top Hat: Not only my monocle, all of me!
Big Mac: 'Course you always get out of nasty jobs, don't ye?
Captain Star: Alright, alright, cut the backchat! At least one Star tug's already been working.
Top Hat: We can see that!
Captain Star: That's enough, Top Hat! You go and stretch your neck with car ferry duties, then take the garbage barge to the city dump.
Warrior: That'll be nice for ya!
Top Hat: Garbage? Me? Do I have to put with this?
Big Mac: I have to put up with you, Top Hat.
Warrior: Yeah.
Captain Star: Top Hat, why do I always have an argument with you? Now move out, come on.
Top Hat: I'm so sorry.
Warrior: Bye, Top Hat.
Top Hat: But I don't see why-
Big Mac: Get on with it!
Top Hat: Oh well, here goes. This is so tiresome...

Zak: Well, well, well. The Star tugs. What time d'you call this, eh? You needn't've bothered. There's no work for you. We've got it all sewn up.
Zebedee: Yeah, you said it, Zak.
Big Mac: We've as much right to go for this contract as you have.
Zak: Think you'll do a better job, big mouth?! You ain't got no chance, three against one, see? No chance!
Warrior: What do you mean, 'three against one?' There's only two of ya.
Zebedee: Well, you don't do much 'cept get in the way, Warrior, so we count you on our side. Heh heh. Can't stop you today though, we've got work to do.
Zak: So long, losers.
Big Mac: Zak's engine doesn't sound too healthy, Warrior. Hey, Big Mickey, how about a real fast load up?
Big Mickey: I'm ready for you! I heard what they said. Hope you'll beat them to it!
Big Mac: We will, no problem.

Zebedee: Told you about your engine, Zak. You've should've had it seen to.
Zak: [surrounded by smoke] Nothing wrong with it.

Big Mac: See, we're catching 'em! ...Hello, what are they up to?
Warrior: They're heading for the canal!
Big Mac: I know that. That's it, they're taking a shortcut.
Warrior: Alright, we'll follow 'em!
Big Mac: No, we won't. They won't get through, it's high tide.
Warrior: So what?
Big Mac: Bridges, Warrior, bridges!
Warrior: So what?
Big Mac: High tide, high load. [The Goods Engine crosses the bridge pulling four trucks]
Warrior: Oh yeah. Bridges...
Big Mac: Ten out of ten. They won't get that load under. Let them go. They'll have to come back, and we'll be out of sight!

Eddie: He means it, Top Hat.

Narrator: Both Zebedee and Top Hat put on full power and surged forwards towards each other and the bridge.
Lord Stinker: Top Hat, look at his load!
Top Hat: He's going to hit! Hold on, I'm going into reverse!
Zebedee: He's backin' up! Didn't I tell you, Zak?
Zak: Didn't even make a fight of it! (laughs, but stops) Oh no.... I see why now, the bridge! Zeb! REVERSE ENGINES! QUICK!
Zebedee: Oh no! I- I can't stop! Ooooh, no!
Top Hat: That's real Zero thinking, dummy.
Zebedee: I s'pose Zak an' I'd better go and get some help...

Ten Cents: Well, that's been a hard day. But we're all cleared up now.
Sunshine: Yep. I bet everybody else had a really easy day waiting for the tide to go down...
Ten Cents: Yeah, I bet Top Hat delivered Lord Stinker, then moored up somewhere quiet.
Sunshine: Yeah. Somehow, he always manages it to take it nice and easy...

Munitions[edit]

Bluenose: Attention! Attention! You! Hercules!
Hercules: 'Attention' nothing. I'm finished here, old darling. Moving out.
Bluenose: Oh, no you don't! Not til I check things out!
Hercules: Check all you like, sweetheart, I'm needed elsewhere.
Bluenose: You're under Navy jurisdiction! Obey orders, and wait til I've made my inspection!
Hercules: I am under jurisdiction; Captain Star's. A little weight watcher like you doesn't tell me what to do!
Bluenose: Aha! We'll see about that, laddie! Hercules, here! Wait! Stay right where you are! That is an order!
Hercules: Toodle-oo!
Bluenose: Upstart civilian! I'll get you in a Naval convoy one day and I'll teach you a lesson or two! And then you'll find out what orders are all about!

Zorran: Now listen, you two. Towin' this lot's the tricky bit. Zak, move off first.
Zak: Right.
Zorran: Go slow and don't take any nonsense from the Star mob. Show them explosives don't scare us. If they come too close, just-
Zak: BLOW THEM UP?!?
Zorran: Yeah, but with your hooter, dummy. No silly games, okay? You don't have to be that brave.
Zak: Okay Zorran, sir.
Zorran: And watch out for the Naval twerp Bluenose. Your job is to deliver that barge directly to Naval tramper Krakatoa. If Bluenose gives you different orders, ignore 'em and refer him to me. Just keep it steady. Keep flying that danger flag! Zebedee! Next!
Zebedee: That Bluenose told me he was in charge and that I must obey orders.
Zorran: You are. Mine, remember that.
Zebedee: I'll remember that Zorran, sir....
Zorran: Eat your heart out, Star stacks. This trip's worth 20 garbage barges, ferry trips or girder tows. If we don't get blown up. Right, easy does it...

Zorran: I'll be glad to get rid of this lot...
Bluenose: Attention! Attention!
Zorran: Oh no, here we go...
Bluenose: I've come alongside! Move aside! You, with the circle on your funnel, move!
Zorran: Eh? What, mean me, mister, do you?
Bluenose: Yeah, you, mister! Move that barge! My load's first.
O.J.: You shouldn't move a barge that's being unloaded.
Bluenose: Get pensioned off, old timer! This is my pool, I say what goes!
O.J.: Bah....
Zebedee: Go and draw your pension, O.J., you're past it!
Zorran: Shut it, the paddler's right. We're not moving that barge, mister.

O.J.: Move out! Move out! Save yourselves! Ten Cents, cut your barge rope, and pull free.
Ten Cents: My barge is clear, but Bluenose is blocking the way!
Bluenose: I know what to do. Stay still your engines!
Ten Cents: Oh, come on, Bluenose, cast off, let's get outta here!
Bluenose: I can't! I can't! I CAN'T!
Ten Cents: Try harder! Go on!
Bluenose: Me engine's cut out!
Ten Cents: O.J.! His engine's out! I'm going in to help!
Zorran: Don't be a fool, Ten Cents! Get out of there!
O.J.: He's right! Move!
Zorran: He's got himself into this! Leave him!
O.J.: It's too dangerous, Ten Cents!
Ten Cents: You're coming with me, Bluenose!
Bigg Mickey: Keep going, Ten Cents! Keep going! The tramper's on fire! It'll blow any second!
Bluenose: Don't you move me! I've got my orders and my orders say I am loading fuel there!
Ten Cents: You can load all you want after I get you out of here. Hey, O.J.! What shall I do with him?
O.J.: Put him at the back, out the way, we don't want any more of his orders.
Bluenose: Oi! This is a mutiny! Take me back immediately! Obey orders! Obey orders! Orders is orders!

Zorran: Oh no! Bigg Mickey's top is going up!
O.J: Move out, everyone! He's going over!
Bigg Mickey: Stay where you are! I'll get clear!
Zorran: Just hope Mickey gets it right, otherwise he'll sink us all!
Ten Cents: BIGG MICKEY! (Mickey keels over)
Zorran: Ahh, he's done it. He's falling sideways.
Bluenose: HEEELLLLLLLLP!
Ten Cents: That was too close for comfort!
O.J: It took real skill to make that move.
Ten Cents: He saved us all for sure... But the fire's getting out of control!
O.J: They'll have heard the signal for sure. The fire tug'll reach us any minute. Just wish he were here now....
Zak: Fire Tug won't be much good, LOOK AT THAT TRAMPER!!

Ten Cents: I feel so helpless.....
Zebedee: Cor! They were really big explosions, weren't they?
Zorran: There's more to come yet, just wait, she was nearly fully loaded before that Naval twit arrived. What's on board will rip her apart.
Ten Cents: Isn't there anything we can do?
Zorran: Like what, dummy? Anyway, you've done your bit. Just sit back and watch.

Warrior: Fire! Fire!
Fire Chief: Just in time, Warrior! Use your fire hose on that barge and the oil yard, quick!
Warrior!: Yes, sir! Right away, sir! I'll do me best, sir!
Zorran: There's two things wrong with that order, mister. Warrior don't move fast. His lights may be on but there's no one there.
Fire Chief: At least he's in there, Zorran.

Fire Chief: Warrior, get out of there! It's going to blow!
Warrior: I can control it, sir! Don't worry!
(watches explosions)
Warrior Wow!
(one explosion sends piece of debris into Warrior's face)
Warrior: Ooh! That bit hit me!

Top Hat: Oh, dear. Seems I'm too late to save the day. What a pity!
Zorran: Heh. Well, well, well! Get a drift of that, will ya lads?! Top Hat, all dressed up and nowhere to go! (laughs mockingly with the other Z-Stacks)

Sunshine: Ten Cents should have been back by now...
O.J.: We must all salute a very brave tug, who saved us f-
Sunshine: Hey, I know that whistle! It's-! IT'S TEN CENTS! Ten Cents, what a mess! What happened?
Ten Cents: Well, just as I started reversing, it blew to smithereens! Nearly took me with it. Lights went out, water in me engine.... Didn't think I could make it back, but thanks to Grampus, I did.
Sunshine: Hey, you're the luckiest tug around, lad!
O.J.: And probably the bravest too.
Grampus: Well, I've been used for a few strange jobs before, but never have I brought in a switcher and taken away a twitcher! [tows Bluenose away while laughing]
Narrator: The accident was caused by a few hasty words and bad temper. Orders may be orders but they don't supercede common sense. Bluenose was right in his way, as were Ten Cents and O.J. right in theirs., but common sense from all three would have prevented the fire from starting. Always respect fire. If you don't, it will destroy you, your surroundings and your friends.

4th of July/Regatta[edit]

Ten Cents: Ah, well, that's it, Lillie. Now you can show us the way home.
Sunshine: What would we do without you, eh?
Lillie Lightship: Nice to be appreciated, boys. You'll be in the Regatta parade I suppose. I never see any of it from out here.
Ten Cents: Pity, that.... We'll stick a light and foghorn on Sunshine and anchor him here so you can.
Sunshine: Hey, do you mind? I'm in the parade too, you know!

Captain Star: There's an emergency! Lillie Lightship is sinking!
Coast Guard's Messenger: The Captain is correct! She is sinking! The Zeros can't help, so adjust yourselves to the problem and get organised, okay?!
Captain Star: That's it. You'll have to forget the festivities for a while.
Top Hat: I say, this is an outrage!
Captain Star: This is an emergency job!
Top Hat: I see...

Mighty Mo: Now, listen carefully. I'm gonna lift Lillie a bit. Ten Cents, attach a line to Grampus, and then come on, pull him out!

Warrior: Morning, Jack! Nice day for garbage.
Jack the Grappler: There's no garbage today.
Warrior: What do you mean 'no garbage today'? There's heaps behind you!
Jack the Grappler: No garbage today.
Warrior: But I've gotta have garbage! You know, I've gotta have garbage. His Lordship needs garbage. We all need garbage!
Jack the Grappler: It's the festival day, old sonny, so there's no garbage.
Foreman: Is that you, Warrior?
Warrior: Er, yes, sir, It's me, sir.
Foreman: You got Lord Stinker with you?
Warrior: He's here, sir, empty and willing to work, sir.
Foreman: There's no garbage today, right?
Warrior: Well, er- I can see, er- heaps. Er. Piles! Stacks! Er, mountains of garbage!
Foreman: You see no garbage, Warrior! Jack'll tell you there is no garbage, eh, Jack?
Jack the Grappler: There's no garbage.
Foreman: Repeat after me, Warrior, there ain't no garbage!
Warrior: There ain't no garbage...
Foreman: Good! That is settled. Instead, today is Municipal Garbage Day, a festival of garbage!
Warrior: Eh?
Foreman: Municipal Garbage Day falls on the same day as the Bigg City Festival, so to join in all the fun, we, the garbage corporation, are gonna make our own barge float. No flowers or fancy bits, just prime, colourful garbage!
Warrior: I don't believe this...
Jack the Grappler: This is gonna take a very long time, so I'd cut your engine if I was you. Must get started now, heaps to do....
Warrior: Things get stranger and stranger round here! S'pose it is festival day.

Bluenose: Ahoy there! Ahoy! You there!
Big Mac: What do you want? We can't stop, I'm afraid, this load's urgent.
Bluenose: I quite understand, old man, but we are looking for one of our submarines. He is called Grampus.
Ten Cents: I ain't seen him since we left Lucky's Yard. He saved Lillie Lightship from sinking, so he's probably taking a well-deserved break somewhere.
Bluenose: Aha, that may be so, but he is one of ours, you know. He is not a civilian, lazing!
Big Mac: Okay, Bluenose, that's enough. We haven't seen him so make wake, okay? My work's important.
Bluenose: Ha-ha, your work's important! What you need, laddie, is a lesson in Naval discipline! (Grampus arrives) Aha, what has we here- What the-?!
Grampus: They're going to blow me up today.
Ten Cents: Huh?!
Bluenose: That is correct!
Big Mac: What?! But he's been a hero out there with Lillie and you lot are going to blow him up?! That's some kind of thanks.
Bluenose: Ah, you civilian lot may not understand this, but we Naval types know when we are past it. Instead of rottin' in some breaker's yard, we volunteer us for gunnery practice! Targets, you know!
Ten Cents: But that's not fair! He's still a useful submarine, he does lots of things for us!
Bluenose: For you, maybe! For us, he's old and out of date! Now I can't stand around here jawin' with you all day, my work's important. Big Mac will understand that, won't you, sir?
Big Mac: [grunts]
Bluenose: Come on, Grampus! Back to base! Target practice at 1400 hours!
Ten Cents: Grampus! Grampus, don't go! Dive and hide!
Grampus: It's no use, they'd catch up with me again somewhere. Thanks for all the fun we've had together. Bye, Ten Cents. Bye!
Ten Cents: Bye...
Big Mac: Listen, we can't let this happen. I'll handle the barges, you go off and find O.J., tell him about Grampus. He'll know what to do... We'll save our mate Grampus if it's the last thing we do.

Grampus: If the modern Navy's gonna be like him, I'd be better off down with the fishes...Why are they parading out here? They're gonna be in the line of fire! STAY CLEAR!
Top Hat: It's a destroyer warning us we're in the danger zone!
O.J.: Ignore it!
Top Hat: What do you mean? And get a direct hit? Oh, thank you very much! I think they're going to fire!
Big Mac: Keep going, Top Hat! The more of us here, the safer we are!
Grampus: Get clear! They're about to start firing!
O.J.: Grampus, just do as I say. Give him a line, Ten Cents!
Ten Cents: Alright, O.J.!
O.J.: Big Mac'll leave the barge in your place. Let's hope all they'll see from that distance is the target flags. Right! Keep moving!
Grampus: The Navy's not going to like this! Just leave me here or you'll all get into trouble! Please! Don't do it!

Zorran: 'Ello, 'ello, 'ello! What's all this then? What's going on?
Top Hat: Clear off, Zorran. It's our business.
Zug: No, it's not! Deal's a deal! Ten Cents said he'd let us in on it!
Ten Cents: No, I never!
Zorran: You lot are up to something! And anyway, you owe us for two barges of timber. Move aside, Top Hat, and let me see.
O.J: Mind your own business, Zorran!
Zorran: I am. This is my business, I'm looking for my timber!
Ten Cents: Well, it isn't here! Just back off and leave us alone. All we got here is our float for the show.
Zorran: [spots Grampus and laughs maliciously] Some float! Stealing government property, eh? Nice little number, boys, very nice. That's the third crime to report. Captain Zero'll tell the Navy-
Hercules: Move it, Zorran, old boy.
Zorran: Er, only a game, you understand, Hercules....
Hercules: I know all about your games, Zorran. Beat it. And take your driftwood with you.
Zorran: Oh, I'm going to. You'll hear about it from the Navy! Don't worry.
Top Hat: Yes, I'm off as well....
Hercules: Alright, m'dears, I don't think I'll wait around for answers. I want to be in the show today too! You can tell me all later. Now where's Warrior got to...?

Man from Princess Alice: Hello, everyone! This is the Princess Alice, welcoming you to the Annual Regatta! Thank you! Now, you know the drill! When the cannon fires, the parade will start! This year, Top Hat, from the Star fleet, will lead on! Enjoy yourselves! There goes Top Hat followed by shipmates O.J., Big Mac and Warrior, all towing splendid barges! They're followed by Zak from the Zero fleet, towing the corporation lightship! Here comes Zip and Zug the Zero switchers, towing a new upriver breakfast, wood and bananas! Following them comes a colourful group: Ten Cents and Sunshine towing Little Ditcher...and Sally Seaplane! Hello, Sally! And Hercules, just by himself! Never mind, Hercules, maybe next year, OK? Coming from the famous Bridge Cafe, is Zorran towing the loudest barge of the day! Nice music, guys! Very nice music!

Narrator: When night time came, O.J. gathered all the other Star tugs around him outside Lucky's Yard. None of them really knew what was going on.
O.J.: Alright, Lillie, do your bit!
Lillie: [switches light on] Hello, boys! They repaired me in record time so I could see the Regatta. [gasp] You all look splendid!
Ten Cents: Aw, thank you! Oi, it's Grampus! And he's got the Star flag!
Grampus: They didn't blow me up today! The Navy sold me to Captain Star, so I'm one of you now!

Bigg Freeze[edit]

The Fuel Depot: Take a while in this cold.

O.J.: Got an idea between us?
Top Hat: No bright ones, O.J..
O.J.: Anybody got a stupid one then? Come on, say it. Could lead to something, you never know.
Warrior: ....I could set fire to my garbage.
Top Hat: What? What on earth for?!
Warrior: Well, make a light for Vienna, wouldn't it?
Lillie: I think that's a smashing idea.
Narrator: Just Lillie's approval was good enough for Warrior. The others stared, speechless, as he quickly towed his barge away and got himself alongside it. He revved his engine to full steam to make sparks fly out of his stack.

Zip: How'd you get past that fire barge, Ten Cents?
Ten Cents: Easy!
Zorran: 'Ere, what's up with you two?
Zip: Ah, well, we blocked them up the creek to save the fuel contract for you, Zorran!
Ten Cents: We only went for the light barge!
Zorran: Huh?! You IDIOTS! We needed that light here, didn't we? To get Vienna in, for us as well as for them. Now, what's this about a fire barge? Have you taken one from its station?!
Zip: We only jammed it a little way!
Zorran: Well, get back up there quick before the Fire Chief gets there!
Ten Cents: Fire Chief won't be pleased with you two! 'Ere, it'll take 'em all night to get that fire barge free.
Sunshine: Aye, it will, aye-aye. Maybe they should've thought of that when they jammed it.

Top Hat: Why couldn't I have been a liner, I wonder?
Warrior: 'Cos you're not big enough.
Lillie: You are silly, Warrior.
Hercules: You're clear, Vienna! Bon voyage, and godspeed!
Sunshine: Aww, she really is lovely...
Ten Cents: Yeah....
Top Hat: Goodnight, Vienna!
Ten Cents and Sunshine: Goodnight, Vienna...